I order two gin and tonics as we’re seated at the table. It’s just past 6:30 p.m. and the restaurant is still quiet. We nestle our newly purchased shoes at our feet and start looking over the menu.
“So, Seb’s away. How are you doing?”
I smile at her, unable to contain my grin. “We’re having fun texting.”
“So everything’s back to normal?”
“I wouldn’t say that. More like we’re acknowledging that it’s not going to be smooth and happy all the time. We’re finding a few bumps.”
“I told you that’s fine. Don’t panic.”
“I know, and I think that I can see that now. It’s alright that we’re finding our feet. It doesn’t mean that we love each other any less. He keeps reminding me that we didn’t have a conventional start but that it doesn’t matter.” I smile at her and really feel the meaning behind those words. Finally, I can see it’s alright. Our story will play out like it should, but the point is that it’s our story.
“Well, I’m really happy for you. You deserve it. And he’s alright about putting the brakes on the house?”
“Yes, although I did start looking at what options we had. I’m thinking of it like window shopping and looking is actually quite fun.” I can’t help beaming at her. I jump to the edge of my seat and lean in towards her. “I found this one house, it’s a renovated townhouse in the centre, just off of Pulteney Road. Jess, it’s gorgeous. Open plan on the ground floor with an immaculate kitchen, a massive master bedroom on the first floor and two more upstairs.”
“Wowzers, that’s got to cost.” She raises her eyebrows and proceeds to down her gin.
“I know, it does and we’ll have to talk properly about bills and stuff once the divorce is settled. It’s actually got me feeling excited, which is stupid because I didn’t think I was ready. Can I get excited? I can, right?” The yearning is clear in my voice.
“Of course you can. It should be an exciting time for you. Don’t hold back because you’re not sure what you should be feeling.” Her words pull on the torrent of feelings that have been plaguing me over the last weeks.
“Sometimes I don’t know which way is up. My emotions and feelings have been going from flat and predictable to a rollercoaster. It’s not that easy, Jess. My cheating husband has turned into an abusive stranger. The man I love moves me in, imposes rules which I struggle to follow despite wanting to please him, and I have yet to learn how to trust Seb being away when all I can do is think about all the times that Phil said he was working. There’s been a lot. Sometimes I wonder why Seb puts up with me at all.”
“He loves you. Hold on to that. Yes, it’s complicated and scary and you have a shit ex to get rid of, but boil it all down to the fact that you love each other and are moving forward.”
“How are you always the voice of reason?”
“I can spout it. Doesn’t mean I have to follow it.”
“Talking of, how’s Greg?”
“Like I said the last time, fine. There’s nothing to say. We’ve been on a few dates.”
“Okay, I’ll leave it. Do you want another?” I look at her empty glass and signal to a waiter. “I’m starving as well. Can we order?”
“Go for it.”
We settle into our usual girly chitchat and talk the evening away. I text Seb on my way home.
How was your evening? S
Jess and I had a good time. It was nice to catch up. Izzy
Thank you for keeping me in the loop. S
I know we’re trying to find our feet, but you said it helps you not worry. I would never do anything to spite you. Izzy
As the taxi pulls up outside the apartment, my phone rings and I see Seb’s gotten fed up with the ping-pong.
“Hello?”
“Hi, where are you?”
“I’m just walking up to the apartment building.”
“Good.” I let myself in and call the lift.
“I’m in the lift now. I’ll be inside in a minute.”
“Understand me, Izzy. I know you’d never do anything to upset or hurt me. You want to please me and that causes you a certain amount of confusion. Don’t worry, I’ll be patient. I’m out of my depth with how I feel towards you sometimes, and it’s not the most reassuring place for me. I like being in control, and when I can’t be, I don’t handle it well. It’s not an excuse, but as you’re trying to be honest, I need to as well.” His words spear my heart and I struggle to hold back the tears that threaten. Seb has validated everything I’m concerned about and I feel safe and reassured.
“Thank you,” I whisper, my emotions closing my throat and making it hard for me to speak. I dive out of the lift and rush to the front door.
“Izzy, are you still there?”
“Mm-hmm.” I close the door and slump into Seb’s chair, curling in on myself. I clutch the phone to my ear, suddenly desperate for any contact with the man I love.
“Talk to me, sweetheart. I can’t see you or hold you.”
“I’m relieved,” I choke out. “Hearing those words… It really helps.”
“I’m looking forward to talking when I’m home tomorrow.”
“Okay. I love you.”
“I love you too, sweetheart.”
It’s been a long week. Work has been crazy busy, and Mark is encouraging me to take on even more client projects. I love the additional responsibility and control that Mark affords me with the team.
I park in my usual spot and make my way up to the apartment.
The heavy wood door shuts behind me and I move to switch the lights on, but the switch doesn’t work. I wiggle it a few more times, trying to force them into working and hoping it was just a fluke the first time, but no. They aren’t working.
My sigh echoes in the dark hall as I pull out my phone to use as a torch. I walk tentatively over to the kitchen and try the lights, but still nothing. When I walk down and into our bedroom, there is a single candle burning on the side dresser. Beside it, there’s a handwritten note.
Drop everything and strip. Kneel in the centre of the rug. Sebastian.
I immediately drop my bag to the floor. I take off my coat and boots, followed by my dress, shirt and underwear. My heart beats fast and sends quivers of excitement through my body, making me wet. His command, his control over me, is a complete turn on, and despite everything, my submission sexually has never wavered. I now know how good it is when I let go, what giving over that control can release inside of me.
The rug is positioned away from the candle and I walk to it and kneel down patiently. Sebastian won’t rush this, so I try to relax. This will play out how Seb wants it to. My acceptance will make it better.
“Very nice, Isabel. I want you to wait for me, just like that.” His voice is distant, but his command is solid. I have butterflies in my stomach as a result of the adrenaline building in my veins. I try to relax once more, to block everything out of my head, but I’m finding it hard. My imagination is running away with itself. All the experiences Seb has shown me fire through my mind. “I know how you like the dark, Isabel. Do you like my surprise?”
“Yes, Sir.” My breathy voice sounds sexy, matching how I feel.
“I’m going to try something new with you tonight. I’ve always wanted to do this, but I need you to relax for me, sweetheart.” His words hit the pit of my stomach and I try to stop the anticipation winning. I feel his words on the back of my neck. He kneels behind me and brushes the hair off the back of my neck before kissing along my shoulder. He replaces his mouth with the tips of his fingers and caresses my skin. He lays a large bath towel in front of me. “Crawl onto your front for me and lie down on the towel.” I lean forward and do as he asks. I turn my face to the side. I can’t see much. The only light in the room emanates from the candle, which throws shadows of grey flickering shapes over the walls.
His palms start at my shoulders and run down each side of my spine until he reaches my bum. He squeezes and moulds me, instantly making me needy. “So
beautiful, Isabel.” With his lovely words, his hand smacks down on my flesh.
I gasp, but the initial sting fades quickly, replaced by the warming of my skin. He continues to spank me and I begin to squirm. He knows how much I like it when he does this to me. The reaction is guaranteed. I start to relax, the heavy hits sending pleasure coursing through me with each strike. “Lie on your back and stretch your arms over your head.” I moan as I roll onto my back, unhappy about giving up one of my favourite treats. Sebastian is kneeling over me, his chest bare, with just his trousers on. I can see he has something in his hand but I can’t make out what it is. “Don’t move.” I’m excited about what he’s about to do and the anticipation bubbles through my veins. I’ve learned that the greatest rewards come when I follow his commands.
He pulls my right ankle to the side, then repeats with the other, so that he’s kneeling between my legs. The object he holds comes into focus now, a flogger, the fronds falling around his hand. He sweeps the tassels slowly and teasingly across my stomach, up to my breasts and down my arms, back across my stomach and down my legs. I know the fronds will connect with me—my body is tensed, ready—but I don’t know when. The wait is as exciting as it is nerve wracking. He continues his slow torturous trail across my body again and again.
“Please, Sir, please.” I need to feel more than this light caress. I want to writhe under his touch, but he hasn’t asked for that. I want to please him, and that means I must control myself to show him I can obey. Oh, god, I’m going to snap soon if I can’t move. The tension in my body makes my legs shake. “Please, Sir, let me move.”
“Not yet, Isabel. Keep still.” With his words comes the first strike of the flogger across my breasts.
“Ahh!”
“Shh, sweetheart. I want to hear the flogger against your skin.” I moan, but as Seb continues, I keep the erotic sounds of my pleasure in my head. The flogger warms every inch of my skin. Sebastian isn’t punishing me, he’s loving me with each strike. My body begins to pulse with his rhythm. “You’re a beautiful pink all over. Now, are you ready?”
Yes. God yes. Please fuck me, touch me. Make me come! “Yes.” He’s not touched me, yet the flogger has melted me.
“So eager, Isabel, yet you don’t know what I have in store for you.” A sliver of fear ices my blood. I’d assumed that this was what he was planning—commanding me to restrain myself, to keep still and quiet. He slowly rises to his feet and leaves me on the floor. My heart is beating a fierce staccato, but I trust him.
I can’t make any shapes out, but I do see a change in the light. Sebastian returns and resumes kneeling between my legs, holding the candle in his hand. It lights his face and I can see the dark intent in his eyes. “Do you trust me, Isabel?”
“Yes,” I whisper.
“Good girl.” With that, he tips the candle and the first drop of wax hits my chest. The heat spreads out as soon as it lands, the initial pain giving way to a warmth that is soothing. He tips again, more wax this time, creating a line down the centre of my chest to my navel. Panic blooms and I cry out, not able to contain the pain from the heat. Just as I get used to it, the heat dissipates into my skin and the panic recedes. The added danger to what he is doing has my palms sweating. My mind is battling over the knowledge that Seb would never do anything to hurt me and the potential pain that he holds in his hand. He pours more wax onto me. Different places each time—my hips, my thighs, my chest again. My body is ridged and tense, getting used to this new feeling of being bound by my own will and fear. It makes me feel naughty and sexy and desired.
Each drop makes it easier to enjoy the pleasure that is left burning on my skin. The hot wax registers but makes my pussy ache and tests how much longer I can hold still.
Just as I’m expecting another flash, Seb pauses. He puts the candle next to me and gently traces the lines the wax has made with his fingers. It multiplies the bliss and stirs tremors through my muscles. The wax has cooled now and my skin feels tight. His touch is light and gentle, ramping up the growing need for a release within my core. Watching him makes me want to beg for more.
“I love your skin, Isabel. I love watching what you will do to please me, to obey me. Do you like the wax?”
Do I like it? His question makes me think, and I don’t want to. I just want to feel. “Yes, I do,” I purr and my reward is a punishing kiss. I’m trapped between him and the floor and I feel small and delicate, completely at his mercy. I surrender to his assault and let this new sensation fill me up. He’s tied me and bound me in so many ways, but he’s never restrained me just by his command before. It’s heady. “Please, Sir. I want to touch you.”
“Not yet. I’m not quite finished.”
I groan, but try to focus my body. He straightens on his knees and picks up the candle. He drips wax along a similar path as last time. This time, it’s less shocking and more pleasurable. Each drop spikes a pulse through my body ending in the centre of my core. I close my eyes and surrender completely to Sebastian, no longer anticipating or judging the pain.
The drops get bigger, splattering my skin again and again. The flash of heat forces me to cry out at the edge of the pain. Is this too much? When is he going to stop? I need to slow down. I open my mouth to say ‘yellow’ when Seb thrusts two fingers inside of me and I almost convulse on the spot.
“Yes. Oh god, yes.” I’m already on the edge, the building of my orgasm suddenly on fast-forward to the crescendo. Hot wax drips over my nipples just as my pussy clenches around his fingers. The pleasure and pain mingle as my body shatters. I come violently. My hips buck and grind into Seb’s hand. “Yes… oh, yes.”
I feel weak, drained, my body still shuddering from the orgasm. My mind is shaken from the sweet torture. Seb withdraws his fingers and blows the candle out. I relax on the floor, a happy sigh escaping my lips.
“Oh, Isabel, I do hope you’re not too comfortable there? I’m rather pleased with you. Seeing you come for me, welcoming the mix of pain and pleasure, has made me fucking hard. I’m going to fuck you. I don’t think we’ve christened the carpet yet, have we?” Before I know it, he’s pulled my legs around his waist and sunk himself to the hilt.
I moan in pleasure, my oversensitive clit and pussy giving in to his desire. He starts to thrust, hard and smooth, pulling my hips closer into him. His weight presses down into my shoulders. He pushes harder and harder. His hands grip me forcefully. My body begins to quake and my pussy tightens with each stroke. I need to let go.
“Isabel. I. Want. You. To. Come.”
I bend to his will, my body surrendering to him. It doesn’t take long for my climax to peak, sending ripples through my body. I reach my crescendo, heat flooding through my very being. He follows me and cries out my name before he stills.
“That was amazing. I’ve wanted to play with wax for a long time and you responded so well.” We both take a moment, coming down from the high.
“Come on, we need to clean you up.”
“Can we put some lights on?”
“Maybe. Later we can light some more candles.” I can’t see him, but I can hear the smile in his voice as I break out in giggles.
Everything is perfect.
Work is going really well, although Mark hasn’t come through with the promotion he mentioned to me. I’m still working on the client side and progress is good with the campaigns he’s already handed across. The strategy behind the social media campaigns is more exciting and interesting to me, and I’m showing that I’m good at it. I certainly would welcome the increase in pay.
Seb has been home the last few weeks and hasn’t had to go away for work. We’ve established a slightly less intense means of staying in touch, and he’s backed off the 24/7 submission for now. He is making up for that in the bedroom, but I would never complain about that.
“Hmm, what’s for dinner? It smells wonderful.”
“Pasta pescatore. It should be ready in a few minutes.”
“Shall I set the table?”
<
br /> “Sure.” I start setting out the placemats and find an open bottle of wine in the fridge. “Izzy, your phone’s ringing,” Seb calls.
I rush through to the lounge to grab my phone.
“Hello?”
“Hi, Ms. Fields, this is Mr. Osbourn. Do you have a minute?”
“Um, sure. Is everything alright? It’s rather late.” Well, it’s 6:30 p.m., so at least it’s after work hours.
“I’m afraid that Mr. Fields hasn’t withdrawn his defence of the divorce. I’ve received the full details of his answer to the divorce petition. I’d recommend that we still apply for the decree nisi and ask for a case management hearing for the court to decide if it should be granted.”
“He told me he wouldn’t object.” My heart sinks.
“I’m sorry, Ms. Fields. He’s sought legal representation. At this point, I can only tell you that a court date is likely soon and I’ll be in touch regarding the preparations. There will be some forms to sign as well as some additional information required to proceed with the decree nisi. I’ll email you the details.”
“Thank you.” That’s all I can muster. After I hang up, Why? Fat, ugly tears spill from my eyes as I contemplate the battle ahead of me. I wanted to be free. I thought I’d be able to start my life again with Seb.
“Izzy, I’m dishing up.” My appetite for food has gone.
“Sweetheart, dinner… What’s wrong?” Those words, in his concerned, chocolate voice, make the tears fall harder. I hold my breath and brush my wet cheeks, hiding my tears before I look up at him. He immediately drops to the floor in front of me and wraps me in his arms. “Baby, you need to talk to me. What’s happened?” His voice holds an edge that wasn’t there a moment ago and it’s what I need to pull myself together.
The Izzy and Seb Collection: The Evermore Series Books 1, 2 and 2.5 Page 44