“Phil is still defending the divorce and I’ll have to get the court to get the decree nisi and that’s if they agree with my case,” I muffle, holding back more tears. Seb’s body freezes around me before relaxing back and pulling me tighter. “I’m sorry. I know you don’t want me to still be married.”
“That does not matter. I fell in love with you while you were married. I’ve waited for you all my life. A little longer won’t hurt. I want to help, though. Who have you got looking after the divorce? I’m happy to put you in touch with my legal team who can help you with any preparations for court.”
“No, it’s fine. Mr. Osbourn is good, he can’t help that Phil’s being a vindictive snake. I just wanted this to be over. “ I take a few deep breaths and blink away the last of my watery eyes. As much as his words help, I need to resolve this myself. I should have been brave enough to get a divorce before starting things with Seb. I move out of his grasp and sit back in the chair.
“You don’t have to do this on your own, Izzy. Let me help you.”
“What can you do? He’s contested the divorce and I need to wait for a court date. Mr. Osbourn didn’t state on what grounds he’s contesting, but he’s going to send me all the details.”
“Okay, but please, let me help you if you need it.”
“I need to do this, Seb. This is my burden and my way of getting closure. Don’t you see? Until I’m divorced, he is still in my life, and I hate that.”
“I know, but that doesn’t mean you have to fight it alone. We’re a team, a partnership.”
“Yes, but this should have been over before I started anything with you. Let me put it right. I need to make it right.”
“It doesn’t matter that you’re still married. I know you love me and you’ll be mine soon enough.”
Fatigue grips my body and I can’t face arguing anymore.
“Come on.” Seb pulls me up and leads me to the kitchen. “Eat. It should still be warm. We can talk later.” He sits me down and I proceed to poke at my food.
After a few bites, I put my knife and fork down on the plate and gulp down a large glass of wine. I know that’s the last thing I need, but at the moment, I don’t care. Seb is silent through our meal, but I don’t miss his eyes trained on me.
I’m already in bed before Seb joins me. He’s been quiet for the rest of the evening and my mood hasn’t improved. Seb walks into the room and stands by the door. His posture is tense and I can tell, just by looking, that he isn’t going to come to bed and sleep. He closes the door and leans back against it, making sure to make eye contact with me as he does. It sends a slight shiver through me, like an unspoken word between us.
After everything that has happened this evening, this was not what I had in mind. However, within these four walls, I am at ease with my submissive nature and want nothing more than to please Seb.
“Take off your nightdress and lie on top of the covers with your arms stretched above your head. Hold them there. Don’t move. Understand?”
“Yes, Sir.” I hurry to move into position, my heart kicking in at the tone of Seb’s voice. I relax into the bed, letting my worries of a moment ago sink away. My breathing is the only thing I can hear in the room, and it further adds to my building anticipation. I keep my eyes on the ceiling, refusing to let my curiosity win over Seb’s command.
“You’ve had a lot to think over tonight. I’m going to take that away from you. Stay in this room with me. Keep your mind on me and everything I’m going to do to you. Do you understand, Isabel?” His words are hypnotic.
“Yes. I understand.”
He takes that as his cue to wrap his hand around my ankle. He pulls me down the bed and then pushes my legs wide, bearing me to him. I cling to my wrist, keeping my arms above my head. This will be my focus. My own self-restraint is what Seb will be testing, I’m sure of it.
His hands roam up my legs, forcing my legs wider apart. I look down my body, past my rising chest, and watch as he focuses on my waiting pussy. He’s not gentle. His lips close over mine and he sucks hard before releasing and starting his assault with his tongue. He presses it along my seam and licks until he finds my clit. He flicks, then stops. Flicks, then stops. He only gives me a moment’s pleasure before taking it away, but it still has the desired effect. I lift my hips as he pulls away, trying to keep our contact.
“Stay still. I won’t tell you again.” I groan at his warning. Seb’s already brought me to the level where I want to thrash and pull against my self-imposed bonds.
Seb moves his attentions up my body, trailing wet kisses across my stomach and up to my breasts. I immediately feel my orgasm fade away. He bites down on one nipple while pinching the other. The pressure sends pulses of tension through my limbs, but I resist arching off the bed. My breasts grow hot and sensitive as Seb continues to lavish them with his version of pain. I can feel my pussy weeping in protest, feeling desperate for attention.
“You’re beautiful, Isabel. So responsive to me. You submission is such a precious gift.” He stands to shred himself of his clothes before pressing his body against mine. He’s flush against me, his erection pressing into my thigh. He bites my throat, licking and sucking at my pulse, and pinches my nipple. Everything he knows will get me to move—to break my self-imposed bonds—he’s trying.
My whimpers grow stronger and the sound of my pleasure is echoing around the room. My legs are ram-rod straight, tensing to keep from moving, and I’m sure I’ll have bruising around my wrists as I hold my arms in place. Do not move, Izzy. Show him.
Finally, Seb lifts up over my hips and positions his cock at my wet pussy. “The only words I want to hear from you are ‘yes’ and ‘sir’, understand?”
“Yes! Yes, Sir.”
Seb thrusts into me and I continue to shout ‘yes’. He pulls back before thrusting again and stilling while he moves his hand down to find my clit. He rubs the pad of his thumb over my swollen flesh and I have to fight to stay still. I want to let go, but Seb has given me control over my submission. He’s finding ways to explore my sexuality within the comfort of my own rules.
His slow rocks start to build a wave of pleasure within me, ready to crash over and pull me under. When we’re like this, I don’t want to do anything but give in to his pleasure.
Seb’s pace quickens and my pants match in pace. He shifts position and lies down, smothering my body under his. I stare into his clear eyes and force mine to focus. Tears prick my eyes at the intimate connection.
“You’re mine. If only in body and soul. Nothing will change that for me. You need to believe me. Trust me.” He emphasises his point by driving his cock deep into me, sending ripples of delight throughout my body. “Trust me. Trust us. I want all of you, Isabel. I’ll wait, but I want all of you. Mine to cherish. To love. To adore.”
My orgasm sparks and Seb continues his rhythm, driving me higher and higher. “Yes, yes, Sir. Yes,” I scream as the wave finally hits. My body can’t hold it all in and spasms pulse through me. I thrust my body against Seb, forcing him deeper and harder inside of me. My arms and legs stay put, never breaking the imaginary silk. Seb’s hips piston back and forth, driving me to delirium with pleasure.
“Fuck, Isabel. You still want more of my cock. Come. With. Me. Be. Mine.”
“Yes!”
We lie in a sweaty tangle of limbs as we both float back to earth. We’re both quiet, the only sound in the room that of our deep breathing. My body twitches as Seb finally moves off me, sending little shivers across my skin as the cooler air chills my flesh.
He quickly pulls back the cover and we scoot under it, immediately seeking one another out.
“I’ve been thinking about us, Izzy, about our future. If I proposed, would you say yes if you weren’t married?”
What!
“I don’t know… maybe.” My words are soft and betray the doubt in my mind. Marriage? The thought hadn’t even crossed my mind, but clearly Seb’s been thinking about it. If I don’t want to get marri
ed again, will this be something else I won’t be able to do for him?
I swallow down the tears that are strangling my throat. They burn and my eyes begin to blur. Seb’s arms come around me to offer the comfort they usually provide. Today, I don’t feel the reassurance or strength I’ve come to rely on.
“Do you need more time?”
“Yes… I love you, I love you so much. I hadn’t even considered marrying again. Look at what happened the first time, I failed, and breaking my vows… well, being married wouldn’t hold anything significant to me anymore. I’m sorry.” My answer is strained. My first marriage was meant to last forever. Now, Phil’s dragging out the divorce just to spite me.
We sit in silence as the enormity of Seb’s question sinks in. I don’t know what I can say to him.
“You remember that I’m away tomorrow for a few nights?”
“No, I don’t want us to be apart. Do you have to go?” Panic courses through me. I sit up and face Seb.
“Yes. I do.” He pulls away from me and heads to the bathroom.
“Seb, I’m sorry.” He pauses in his steps but doesn’t look back.
The last two days have been miserable.
It’s like I’ve lost all confidence in my own ability to make a good decision. Seb’s been away, and even through our talks, I can hear the hurt he’s trying to hide from me.
I keep talking myself around to being able to agree to marriage. I know it’s what Seb wants. I can give him what he wants by saying yes. I just can’t say that magic word.
How can marriage mean anything if I can disregard it one moment and agree to forever the next? I rub my ring finger where my wedding bands used to be. I took them off for Seb. I broke my vows for Seb. He’s the one I love, but there is still so much for us to figure out.
Seb is so sure, so confident, but I can’t even think about marrying him until I know that we’re on sturdier ground. I have too many insecurities and doubts. I need to believe it as much as he does. I can’t go through this again.
On my way home. See you in a couple of hours. S
Drive safe. Love Izzy
I pull myself off the sofa and head for a shower. The last thing on earth I want to do is hurt Seb, but I need to try to make him see my point. As much as I love him, I need to consider if marriage is something I want in my future.
Piling my hair on top of my head, I let the spray wash over me and hope it takes the tension with it. Things should be easy between us. I don’t want to fight. I want to get lost in our passion and shut out the world. I scrub and lotion before towelling off and heading right to bed. If Seb’s going to be a few hours, it will be past ten o’clock before he’s home. I pick up my iPad and make a nest, content with waiting up to see him. Despite knowing that he’ll want to talk and probably ask me if I have an answer, I can’t wait to feel his arms around me again. I miss the comfort they bring.
“Izzy… Izzy, sweetheart.” Seb’s rich voice pulls me from sleep. “Hi, you don’t look particularly comfortable in bed.” I’m slumped at a jaunty angle, having fallen asleep.
“No, I must have dozed off.”
“Well, you’re awake now. Kiss me.” I reach up and grasp his neck, pulling him to me. Our lips collide and I let myself get swept away. The feeling is still there. The heat, the excitement, the love. Everything I want and need from Seb is there the moment we touch. The relief is palpable, but I need more.
“I’m going to make love to you,” he murmurs against my lips.
“Yes. God, yes.”
The bed is empty when I wake. The alarm is blaring at me, but I’m holding out for five more minutes before I have to start the day.
We didn’t talk last night. We made love. We poured all of our emotion into showing each other our love before falling asleep. Now, I need to face Seb and see how he’s dealing with all of this. I get dressed and head out to the kitchen. Seb’s back is to me. He’s cooking breakfast, so I stand and admire the view. His broad shoulders and back make a distracting sight for first thing in the morning.
“I made you coffee. It’s on the side.” He doesn’t turn to face me, but clearly he knows I’m watching.
“Thank you.” I take a seat at the table and continue to watch as he makes an omelette. He places it on a plate in front of me before turning back to his.
I pick at the food, looking for the courage that I need to start any form of dialogue with him today. He joins me at the table and tucks into his breakfast. He hasn’t made eye contact and isn’t in a hurry to speak, either.
“Please don’t do this. Don’t shut me out.”
He puts down his fork and turns to face me. “I’m not shutting you out.”
“Then why won’t you speak to me?”
“I don’t want to upset you, so I was hoping we could just have breakfast.”
My heart breaks at his words, understanding that he’s hurting as much as I am. I reach for his hand and squeeze it. “I’m sorry, Seb. I love you with everything I have, but I’m not ready, and I don’t think I will be anytime soon. You know how much marriage means to me and what Phil took from me. I’m not saying never. I’m saying I need more time.”
“I’ll give you all the time you need, Izzy, but please start believing in our future. You need to start seeing things past your divorce.”
Seb gets up from the table and leaves me to breakfast. Maybe he’s got a point. I have been putting so much faith in getting the divorce, assuming it will be this magical moment when I’m finally set free and able to move on. What if that’s not what I get?
I grab my coffee and go back into the bedroom to get ready for work.
The day drags but I manage to stay on top of my work. I’ve got to take one of the other team members through my training slides as she’ll be delivering any future presentations. It won’t take long, but it’s a reminder of how fate brought me and Seb together. Lucy is a bubbly girl who’s so keen to present, she’ll be a natural. She’s not as knowledgeable as some of the others, but she’ll deliver the content well. The one constant through all of the changes and trials has been work. I’ve been able to hold it together and actually prove that I’m better than I thought I was. I’m doing really well. Mark is giving me more clients to look after and we’re meeting next week to go over his vision and, hopefully, my promotion.
I make my way down to the car and fire off a quick text to Seb to say I’m leaving. I dig through my bag to try to find my keys.
A heavy weight slams into my back, knocking me against my car and holding me there.
“You had to do it, didn’t you? I’ve just received my invitation to court. You’re divorcing me on grounds of my affair and you’re going to parade it through the court.” Phil sneers into my ear as he leans all his weight against me. My stomach rolls and my head starts to pound. I close my eyes and think about Seb. I struggle against his weight but he has me pinned.
“You are simply dragging this out, Phil. You can’t refuse to divorce me. You’ve contested it. The court will decide now. Why don’t you just save us both the time and the money and stop this now.” My voice betrays the fear gripping my body.
His weight lifts from my body and I take a much-needed breath before he twists me round. Pain flares across my cheek in a flash. I recoil from the force he uses, cradling my face from his assault.
“Get in the car,” he growls at me, the pungent smell of stale alcohol on his breath. The point of a kitchen knife is levelled at my stomach. I look back to his face. Fury fills his eyes as he stares me down. I dig in my bag with shaking hands for my keys. As I fumble, I tap out a cry for help to Seb.
Phil, help
“Hurry up!” I find my keys and open the door. He shoves me down into the seat before rounding the car and sitting in next to me. “Now, drive home. We have some things to discuss.” He rips my bag from my lap and dumps it in the back seat before pressing the knife tip against my ribs.
I fight the hysteria threatening to take hold of my body and will my arms
and legs into action. My clammy hands grip the wheel and I set about driving back to Phil’s house. He watches me the entire time, but I refuse to glance his way. Seb knows I’m in trouble. Seb knows.
The journey back to my old house is the longest of my life. Every time I try to look at Phil, he squeezes my neck with his fingers, keeping me looking at the road. The knife is a permanent pressure turning my stomach to lead. I contain the panic that has seized my body, the only outward sign, my trembling lip. My death grip of the steering wheel only lifts as Phil hauls me from the car. Painful fingers dig in to my neck as he forces me up the drive. He shoves me through the door and I stumble and fall to my knees. The pain in my cheek throbs in time with my quickening heartbeat. As I gather my senses, I hear Phil’s chuckle as he sets the latch on the door.
That sound, that single little click clears my muddled mind. I will not let Phil tell me what to do. I had the courage to stand up to him once. I can do it again. Seb knows I’m in trouble. I pull myself up from the floor and turn to face Phil, but his palm connects with my face once again. The fiery sting scorches my already painful cheek and tears stream from my eyes. He moves to grab hold of me, but I try to duck out of his way, desperate to get to the door.
“Don’t you fucking dare,” he shouts, reaching to grab me again and this time succeeding. The metal knife clangs on the wooded floor as Phil drops it.
I lash out as be pulls me towards the stairs. My fists ball up and I try to punch and hit Phil, but my attempts do little to stop him. My legs thrash, kicking out and stomping. I feel some kicks make contact with his body, but to little effect. I claw and shout and scream in the struggle.
“No! No! No!” I scream, fighting his intention of getting me upstairs.
“You like it rough now, do you?”
“No, Phil! Stop! Please don’t, you don’t have to do this…” my heartbeat is thrashing in my ears and my head is beginning to feel light and dizzy.
The Izzy and Seb Collection: The Evermore Series Books 1, 2 and 2.5 Page 45