Shank's Mare

by Ikku Jippensha

  (Principal) YAJIROBEI.

  Dated (Witness) KITAHACHI.

  The little girl having recovered from the blow and the document having been drawn up and signed, various cups of sake were exchanged to celebrate the settlement of the dispute and all retired to rest.

  When the morning broke and the people of the house began to stir, Yaji and Kita woke up, and having breakfasted and packed their baggage, prepared to start.

  'We're sorry we've given you so much trouble,' said Yaji to the landlord.

  'I hope you'll have a pleasant day,' said the landlord.

  'What about the ladder?' inquired his wife.

  'Ah!' said Yaji. 'We'd like to leave it here for to-day. We're just going round sight-seeing and we'll be back here to-night.'

  'No, no. Please take it with you,' said the landlord. 'To-night I have other engagements which will not allow me to receive you.'

  The fact was that the landlord regarded them as two suspicious characters and did not want to have the ladder left in his charge for fear it should bring him into trouble. There being no help for it Yaji shouldered the ladder and they set forth.

  'Where are we going to-day?' asked Kita.

  'We haven't seen Higashiyama yet,' said Yaji. 'Let's go to the Tenjin Temple in Kitano.'

  They went along, asking their way here and there, till they got to Horikawa-dōri.

  'I've just thought of something,' said Kita. 'You remember that Kyōto man we met at Furuichi, and how he said he lived at Nakadachiura in Semban-dōri. We might call there on our way to the Tenjin temple.'

  'Oh, you mean Yotakurō Henguriya,' said Yaji.

  'Yes, that's him,' said Kita. 'We might go and call on him. Perhaps he'd give us some saké.'

  'What, that stingy chap?' said Yaji. 'Not likely.'

  'You wait and see how I'll get round him,' said Kita.

  After a few inquiries they found the way to Yotakurō Henguriya's house, and putting the ladder up against the eaves, they opened the lattice door and went in.

  'Who's that?' called Yotakurō. 'Oh, this is a surprise! I am glad you have come.'

  'Well, you see,' said Yaji,'we remembered all your kindness to us at Isé.'

  'Not at all, not at all,' said Yotakurō. 'Please come this way.'

  'It's quite a time since we had the pleasure of meeting,' said Kita.

  'Yes, yes,' said Yotakurō. 'Have you any friends with you outside?'

  'No, there are only the two of us,' said Kita.

  'Then what's that outside?' asked Yotakurō.

  'Do you mean the ladder?' asked Yaji.

  'What, are you carrying a ladder?' exclaimed Yotakurō. 'How strange!'

  'Well, we heard you lived in a high place,' said Kita,' so we thought a ladder would be useful to get up to it.'

  'Ha-ha-ha!' laughed Yotakurō. 'Well done, well done. But dear me, I'm forgetting my manners. Let me offer you something to eat.'

  'Well, we had breakfast at the inn,' said Yaji,'but we haven't had anything since.'

  'It would be a pleasure to me to offer you some sake,' said Yotakurō,'but unfortunately there isn't a sake shop in the neighbourhood.'

  'Isn't that a sake shop next door?' asked Kita.

  'No, they don't sell it retail there,' answered Yotakurō. 'But, dear me, after all the trouble you two gentlemen have taken in coming to see me, do have a whiff of tobacco.'

  'I'll help myself to my own,' said Kita.

  'If you two gentlemen were to go just a little further,' said Yotakurō,'you'd find all sorts of delicious things. There's nothing nicer than the young trout from the River Katsura, either salted or broiled with bean sauce. Or I should be very happy to show you the way to the Ikesu at Shijō. It's quite near, and the eels they serve there, caught from the River Kamo, are quite special and most extraordinarily well-flavoured. And the baked eggs they serve there are nice too. You have no idea how large they are, and they bring them to you heaped up and steaming on a Chinese porcelain plate. They're so delicious you can scarcely swallow them. But you should come in the autumn and taste the mushrooms. This place is celebrated for them, you know. Fresh mushrooms, made into soup, with just a touch of horseradish, are delicious to take with your sake. You never get tired of eating them.'

  As he went on talking about all sorts of nice things without offering them any, Kita, unable to endure it any longer, slipped out of the house and went into the sake shop next door to get a drink. Yotakurō was so lost in his recital of the delicious food of Kyōto that he did not notice Kita's departure at the time.

  'But where is your friend?' he said at last.

  'He's gone,' said Yaji.

  'Really,' said Yotakurō,'I didn't see him go. When did he go?'

  'He went away before the mushroom soup was finished,' said Yaji.

  'Oh there's lots of other things,' said Yotakurō. 'I haven't mentioned the cakes yet.'

  'Well, we haven't had much entertainment,' said Yaji,'but you've made me feel so hungry that I must go now.'

  'No, no, don't go yet,' said Yotakurō. 'I'm so glad you came, because I wanted to speak to you about something. It's about that time we were at Furuichi. You remember the expenses came altogether to one ryo, but by a mistake I paid one bu two shu. And then there were some expenses on the road which I paid, so that altogether when I got home and made up my accounts I found that you each owed me one hundred and twenty-four coppers.Unless I receive that I can't get my accounts right. It's only a small amount but if you don't mind I'd like to receive two hundred and forty-eight coppers.'

  'That's a nice thing to tell a man when he comes to call on you,' said Yaji. 'You'd better let it be. We had some petty expenses too.'

  'If it's owing it ought to be paid,' said Yotakurō. 'Accounts are accounts. Suppose we arrange it this way. I'll reduce the amount to two hundred coppers.'

  'It's shameful to ask for it now,' said Yaji. 'Why didn't you ask for it then?'

  In spite of all Yaji's grumblings and protestations, however, he had to pay the money.

  'Ha-ha-ha!' laughed Yotakurō,'that makes my accounts right. Well, I suppose you're going to the Tenjin temple now. Then you should have a look at the Kinkakuji. It's getting late so you'd better start at once.'

  'Thank you for your trouble,' muttered Yaji.

  He went out, very much vexed, and met Kita just coming out of the sake shop.

  'Well,' said Kita. 'Did he give you a feast?'

  'I've had a terrible time with him,' said Yaji. 'Whatever put it into your head to call on him? He took two hundred coppers from me.'

  'Ha-ha-ha!' laughed Kita. 'How was that? Let's leave this bothersome ladder at his house so as to annoy him.'

  'How would it annoy him?' asked Yaji. 'What pleasure would there be in making a present of it to a fellow like that? I'd rather carry it than let him have it.'

  They went on, asking their way again, and arrived at the temple at Kitano, outside of which was a teahouse, where a girl with a red apron was standing at the door inviting people to go in and taste the special dish of rice and greens served at the house.

  'Won't you come in and taste our rice and greens?'she said to Yaji.

  'We're just going to the Tenjin temple,' said Yaji,'but we'll call here on our way back. Would you mind our leaving the ladder here in the meantime?'

  'Not at all,' said the girl. 'Please leave it till you come back.'

  Yaji stuck the ladder up against the door of the house and they went on.

  'There, I've got rid of that,' he said. 'Catch us going back, eh, Kita? We'll just let it stay there.'

  'Ha-ha-ha!' laughed Kita. 'What fun!'

  Soon they reached the Ukon racecourse, where they found a large number of people practising riding on horses which they had hired. A great crowd was standing watching them.

  'Halloa! Here's a lot of people! What are they doing?' asked Kita.

  They shoved their way through the crowd to have a look.

  'Gee-up! Gee-up!' shouted the riders.


  'Woa! Woa!' cried the crowd.

  'What a clumsy lot they are,' said an onlooker. 'They look as if they were worn out with dissipation. That old chap with the bald head rides well though.'

  'Of course he does,' said another. 'He's a jockey.'

  'Is he?' said the first. 'Look at that fellow over there. Look how he holds the reins. He must be a weaver's assistant. And look at that twelve-year-old apprentice. He handles the reins as though he was fingering a rosary.'

  'I should like to have a ride too,' said Kita,'with that girl over there.'

  He pushed his way through the crowd till he came close behind two or three women who were looking on, and there he gently pinched the stern of one of the girls.

  'Oh, oh!' cried the girl. 'Who's that? Here, Maru, just come here.'

  'What's the matter?' asked Maru.

  'Somebody pinched my bottom,' said the girl.

  'It must have been a man who was born in a country where there are no women,' said an older woman. 'Don't take any notice of it.'

  'Eh, Kita, you're a bad man,' said Yaji.

  'I don't know anything about it,' said Kita.

  Then, out of spitefulness he tried to pinch the elder woman, but as he was pretending to look the other way he made a mistake and pinched the child that was on her back.

  'Oh, oh!' cried the child and started crying.

  'What's the matter?' asked the woman. 'Did someone do something bad to you?'

  'That man pinched me,' said the child.

  'What a hateful fellow!' said the woman.

  'You must excuse him,' said Yaji. 'He is really a dreadful man.'

  They went off hastily, somewhat disconcerted, and after visiting the Temma Shrine at Kitano and the Hirano Shrine, they came to the Niken teahouse by the River Kamiya. Here feeling hungry, they went into the teahouse and ordered a meal.

  'Have you got anything special!' asked Yaji. 'We want something nice to eat and some sake. Just bring the sake quickly, will you?'

  They sat down on the edge of the verandah to avoid taking off their sandals, and the maid quickly brought them a sake bottle and cups and some stewed trout.

  'I cooked this trout for you with all my liver,' said the girl.

  'With all your liver?' said Yaji. 'What do you mean by that?'

  'Because they're river trout,' said the girl.

  'Thank you, thank you,' said Yaji. 'Then let me give you this with all my shin.'

  'Ho-ho-ho!' laughed the girl. 'What do you give me this with all your shin for?'

  'Because it's shinger,' said Yaji.

  'Ha-ha-ha!' laughed Kita. 'You two are jokers. Bring the other things quick.'

  'Ay, ay,' said the maid. Soon she brought in a dish of beancurd and the rice.

  While they were enjoying their meal they noticed that there were two men in the room who were eating behind a screen as if they did not wish to be seen. Both were dressed in coarse and rather dirty kimono. They also were eating beancurd, and from their talk it was evident they were priests.

  'Where do you get your hair dressed, Yakkai?' asked one.

  'You should get your hair dressed where I have mine done, Mokkai,' said the other. 'They do it very well there. I used to have mine done in the dandy's style, but it's gone out of fashion, so I have it done like this now. It's much more comfortable.'

  He took off the light blue towel he had over his head and Yaji and Kita saw that although he was dressed in a priest's robe he had his hair done like an actor. There was something very strange about this that excited their curiosity.

  'Yes, it's really done very nicely,' said Yakkai. 'I always have my hair dressed by an apprentice but he shaves me so badly that it's always like this.'

  He took off the cloth he had on his head, and they saw that his queue was tied at the nape of his neck and all the rest of his head was shaven. Yaji was unable to restrain his curiosity any longer.

  'Excuse me,' he said. 'I'm a man from a far province, and I've travelled a long way and seen and heard all sorts of strange things, but I've never seen priests with their hair dressed like that before. Might I ask where you come from?'

  'Yes, it's a strange way of dressing the hair, isn't it?' said Yakkai. 'We are priests from the Kuyadō.'

  'Oh, yes, I've heard of that,' said Yaji. 'You sell those tea-whisks, don't you?'

  'Yes,' said Yakkai. 'In our sect, from ancient times, although we wear priests' robes, we're allowed to dress our hair like laymen.'

  'Yes, I've heard of that,' said Yaji. 'But why do you call your sect the Kuyadō?'

  'The reason is this,' said Yakkai. 'You see our sect is well known for the great quantity the priests eat. It doesn't matter what it is, we eat enormous quantities. Whether it's at lunch or dinner, we're so accustomed to pressing people to eat by asking "Motto kuya dō jai na," (Won't you have some more to eat?) that people call it the Kuyadō.'

  'That's right,' said Mokkai. 'Look here, we just called in here for a snack and we've eaten three bowls of rice each already.'

  'That's a lot,' said Yaji. 'I'm a bit of an eater myself. When I was in Shinano, living in an eating-house there, when I got up in the morning they used to bring me my tea and balls of rice as big as your head, enough to feed fourteen or fifteen children on. Even when I was not very well I used to eat seventeen or eighteen of them. And then, when breakfast was ready, the landlord used to say that he didn't like to put his Edo guest to any inconvenience so he'd made twenty bowls of barley for me, —bowls as big as mortars. There they were, all arranged in a line, and the woman of the house used to pile up the barley in them I can tell you. Even when I was hardly eating anything and could barely endure my favourite dish of barley, if I sat down I used to end up by eating five or six without knowing it.'

  'Ah!' said Yakkai. 'I see you're something of an eater. Let's have a meshimori.'

  'Have they got meshimori here?' asked Yaji.

  'Ha-ha-ha!' laughed Yakkai. 'You mean the meshimori you pick up when you're travelling. It's not that kind. You know when boon companions meet together they hold a drinking-bout which they call a sakamori. So when we meet we have eating-bouts, which we call meshimori Just have a try. Luckily I'm not full yet.'

  'That's amusing,' said Kita. 'What do you do?'

  'You shall see,' said Yakkai. 'Here, waitress, bring another bowl of rice.'

  The girl brought another bowl of rice, and the priest, saying that he would begin, filled a rice cup with rice and finished it off at a gulp.

  'There,' he said to Yaji. 'It's your turn now. I'll fill the cup for you.' He piled up the cup with rice and handed it to Yaji.

  'Have I got to eat all this?' asked Yaji.

  'Certainly, certainly,' said Yakkai.

  'All right,' said Yaji. 'It's like changing cups when drinking, isn't it?'

  Yaji managed to get the rice down and then handed the cup back to the priest.

  'That's good,' said the priest. 'Shall we stop there?'

  'No, no,' said Yaji. 'More, more.'

  'Well, we'll have another cup,' said the priest. 'Let me help you,' and he filled up the cup with rice.

  'It's your turn now,' said Yaji.

  He handed the cup of rice to the priest, who managed to get it down in three gulps. 'If it was saké,' said the priest,'I'd get it down in one gulp, but as it's rice one has to munch it.'

  'You've draggled your beard in the cup and made it dirty,' said Yaji. 'And the drippings from your nose have fallen in too.'

  'Don't talk nonsense,' said the priest. 'We can't play the game if you talk like that. Eat it up quickly and pass the cup on.'

  'I don't want to play this game any more,' said Yaji. 'It's too dirty. You must excuse me.'

  'Didn't you say you could eat four or five mortars full of barley,' said Yakkai. 'It isn't fair to get out of it like that. Go on.'

  'Well, let's play for it then,' said Yaji.

  'All right,' said Mokkai, 'but you mustn't back out if you lose.' He heaped up the bowl with rice.

  'Th
e Satsuma game,' he cried.

  They played, and Yaji lost. 'There you are. Eat it up,' said Mokkai.

  As the priest was so pressing, Yaji felt that he must eat the rice, and he managed to get it down with some trouble.

  'Let's change cups and have another,' said the priest.

  'No, no,' said Yaji. 'You must really excuse me.'

  'I've beaten you then,' said the priest. 'You're only a country bumpkin. You can eat tasteless barley, but you can't eat this pure rice.'

  'I can only eat the best rice,' said Yaji.

  'Well, this is the best,' answered the priest.

  'Well, try a bout with your companion for a change,' suggested Yaji.

  'All right,' said the priest. 'But I want a bigger bowl than this.'

  He took the vegetable dish and emptied it, and piled it up with rice. In two or three gulps it had all disappeared. He handed the bowl to the other priest, who filled it up again and also gulped it down.

  'Shall we try again?' he said. 'But this bowl isn't big enough.'

  He went on to the verandah and got the hand-bowl and washed it.

  'Now,' he said,'we shall be able to eat. Won't you have a try?'

  'No, no,' said Yaji. 'It's too dirty. That's the thing people wash their hands in after they've been to the closet. Whoever could eat out of that?'

  'Well, try a teacup then,' said the priest.

  'No, no, no,' said Yaji. 'My stomach's bursting. You know when I was eating that last lot something went snap inside my clothes, and when I looked it was the band of my loin-cloth which had burst because my belly is so swollen. You really must excuse me.'

  'Ha-ha-ha!' laughed the priest. 'You are a poor eater. It's just as I expected. Here, waitress, bring the bill.'

  'Ay, ay,' said the waitress. 'Shall I put it all together?'

  'Of course, of course,' said the priest.

  'The sake and the beancurd are eighty coppers, your honour,' said the girl,'and the rice will be five hundred and seventy-two coppers.'

  'Ah, that's cheap,' said the priest. 'We'll divide it between us.'

  He laid down the money for half the bill.

  'Here,' said Yaji,'that's going a bit too far. You ate all the rice. I and my companion had only a cup or two each. I can't agree to divide the bill.'