Fair Catch

by Ruddick, Jessica

  “Who is it, Ben?” my aunt called.

  He leaned closer. “They don’t know about Ashley. They just think she’s sick.”

  My jaw tightened. I didn’t know what to think about that. On one hand, I didn’t necessarily want my sister to get in trouble, but on the other hand, she needed to learn her behavior was unacceptable. For the millionth time, I wondered what the hell she’d been thinking.

  “We need to talk,” I said under my breath. Then I called, “It’s Jake, Aunt Christy.”

  She appeared a moment later, wearing navy scrubs. While my mother had had dark hair and olive skin, Aunt Christy was fair with blond hair. But it looked lighter than I remembered, like it was going white. Damn. For better or worse, everyone was changing.

  Except me—I’d been static, stuck in the same rut the last few months. But I was working to change that.

  She pulled me in for a hug. “Jake, what are you doing here?” Her tone wasn’t unkind. It was more like she was confused and trying to figure out if she’d forgotten I was coming.

  “A spur-of-the-moment visit,” I said.

  She frowned. “I’ve got evening shifts this month, so I need to leave for work in an hour.”

  “That’s okay. I should have called ahead.” A lie.

  “Goddammit, Emily!” my uncle roared. “Come pick up your shoes right now! I nearly broke my goddamn neck.”

  My back stiffened. What the hell?

  My little sister streamed past, her expression full of terror. “Sorry!” She was so intent on getting her shoes, she didn’t even notice me standing there.

  Aunt Christy let out a nervous laugh. “It drives him crazy when she leaves her stuff everywhere.”

  From the next room, I could hear my uncle snarling. “Next time, I’m putting them in the garbage, you hear? You can go to school barefoot for all I care.”

  Oh, fuck no. I had never known Uncle Brian well, but I didn’t remember him being such an asshole. I couldn’t believe he was talking to my eight-year-old sister like that.

  “Brian!” Aunt Christy called. “Jake is here for a surprise visit.” Her tone seemed to hold a hint of warning, but that might have been my imagination.

  “Jake’s here?” Emily shrieked. She flew into the foyer and slammed into my legs.

  I wrapped my arms around her. “Hey, little sis,” I said gently. “How’s it going?”

  She burst into tears. “I don’t want Uncle Brian to throw my shoes away again. I didn’t mean to leave them out. I just forget sometimes.”

  “Again?” I wasn’t a parent, so I didn’t pretend to know how to raise and discipline a child, but throwing away a necessary item like shoes didn’t seem like a good course of action.

  Emily clamped her mouth shut, like she knew she’d said too much.

  “It was a small misunderstanding,” Aunt Christy said with a tight smile. “That’s all, right, Emily?”

  Gulping, Emily nodded like a bobblehead doll. Behind them, Ben’s mouth pinched in a tight line. He shook his head. Yeah, he and I definitely needed to have a chat.

  “Should we go into the living room?” I asked since we were still congregated in the foyer and no one who lived in the house was taking the initiative to invite me in farther.

  “Oh, yes, yes, of course,” Aunt Christy said. “I was just about to order pizza for the kids for dinner, so you got here just in time.”

  “Sounds great, Aunt Christy,” I said. “Thanks.”

  She hurried ahead to the living room. “Brian!” she said loudly. “You must not have heard me. Jake’s here!”

  When I entered the room, my uncle grunted in my general direction, not bothering to look at me from his position in the recliner. He looked like hell—bloodshot eyes, splotchy skin, and bulging belly. The side table full of empty beer bottles was most likely to blame.

  “Hey, Uncle Brian,” I said in a polite tone. “I saw your sweet new car in the driveway.”

  He took a swig of his beer, but his gaze didn’t stray from the baseball game on TV. “Uh-huh.”

  “He’s always wanted a sports car,” Aunt Christy said with forced enthusiasm. “And now he has one.”

  Her husband’s response was to turn up the volume on the TV and light a cigarette. Aunt Christy moved to open the window behind him. “Please remember to close it before you go to bed, dear.” He didn’t even acknowledge she’d spoken to him.

  My jaw hurt from how tightly it was clamped. “You know what, Aunt Christy? You don’t have to order the pizza. I’m going to take my brother and sisters out to dinner.” It hadn’t taken me long to realize I didn’t want to be in the company of this man.

  I expected her to protest, but she smiled meekly. “I’m sure they’ll enjoy that.”

  I met her gaze evenly, trying to determine if she realized how fucked up this situation was. I wondered if Uncle Brian had always been a drunk asshole and I’d simply missed it as a kid. For the first time, I wondered if there was a reason Tyler had enlisted in the navy as soon as he was eligible, scheduling himself to leave for boot camp the day after graduation.

  I turned my attention to Ben and Emily. “Get ready. We’re leaving in five.”

  They scurried off, and Aunt Christy flitted around the living room, fluffing pillows and aligning the stack of magazines on the coffee table. She avoided looking at me.

  Shaking my head in disgust, I headed toward the stairs. Upstairs, Ashley’s door was closed. I pushed it open without knocking and flipped the light on.

  “God!” she shrieked, shoving her head under the pillow. “Turn the light off! What’s wrong with you?”

  I narrowed my eyes at the lump under the covers. “What’s wrong with you?”

  “Jake?” She still didn’t emerge from under the covers.

  “Yes. Ashley?”

  “What are you doing here?”

  “Visiting.”

  “Are you mad at me?” Her voice was small, and for a moment, I wanted to sweep everything under the rug. But I knew that wouldn’t do her any favors in the long run.

  I sat on the edge of the bed. “Yes, I’m mad. And disappointed. And fu—I mean, damn it, Ashley. What the hell were you thinking?” I’d done stupid shit as a teenager, but hell, when I was twelve, I’d been too shy to talk to girls, much less sneak out to meet one.

  “You don’t understand,” she whined. “I can’t believe Ben called you.”

  “What did you expect him to do?”

  “Nothing. I was fine.”

  “You weren’t fine.” I sighed. “Can you please come out from under the covers so I can look at you when I’m talking to you?”

  The comforter slid down, and she peeked over it with squinted eyes. I could only see the top half of her face, but she looked like hell. Good. Maybe she’d learned her lesson.

  “Get up,” I said. “I’m taking you to dinner.”

  “Really?” She sat up, revealing the rest of her face. She looked so much like my mother. All four of us had gotten a mix of traits from both my parents. Ashley and I had our mom’s olive complexion, while Emily and Ben had my dad’s fair complexion. But fuck, somewhere along the way, Ashley had stopped looking like a kid and started looking like a young woman. Maybe that was why she’d gained the attention of those who had access to alcohol—I assumed she was running around with high school kids. My little sister. Fuck, fuck, fuck! Carson’s behavior regarding Becca at the bar last night resonated. Ashley needed a big brother who could intimidate those assclowns. Ben was great, but intimidating? Not so much.

  “Yeah, you and Ben and—”

  A crash downstairs had me jumping to my feet and looking toward the door in alarm. Now what? When I turned back to Ashley, she didn’t share my alarm. Instead, she looked annoyed. She rolled her eyes then grimaced. “Ugh, my head.”

  “Get up,” I told her again. “Get dressed.” I still needed to talk to her about what had happened, but getting them out of the house for a bit took priority.

  I went downstairs
. Ben and Emily were waiting by the front door. I frowned at them. “What was that?”

  Saying nothing, their gazes drifted toward the living room. I went in.

  Uncle Brian was sprawled on the floor, and Aunt Christy was crouched beside him, trying to help him up. He flailed his arms, and one of them caught her in the face.

  She flew back. “Brian!”

  “I told you not to help me, woman!”

  She scrambled toward him as I rushed to help her up.

  “That’s right,” Brian snarled. “Take his side. You always take Tyler’s side.”

  Tyler? Either they’d just been discussing my cousin, or he was delusional and thought I was his son. Christ.

  Aunt Christy clawed at my arms, but her attention was on her husband. “No, Brian. I’m here with you. I’m—”

  “Get out of here!” Spittle flew from his mouth as he yelled.

  Disgust swirled in my gut as I wondered how many scenes like this my siblings had witnessed. Uncle Brian couldn’t even keep up the pretense of keeping his shit together while I was there. Though it didn’t seem like he cared enough to try.

  I led my aunt out of the room even as she fought against me. “No. He needs me. He’s sick.”

  “He’s drunk,” I snapped.

  She yanked her arm out of my grasp and lifted her chin. “Alcoholism is a sickness.”

  My molars crushed together as I ground my teeth. “How long has he been like this?”

  “It’s… a… disease.” She practically hissed the words.

  “Not to be a prick, but I don’t give a shit. I care about Ben, Ashley, and Emily.” I gestured to my siblings, who were standing by the door and looking as though they wished the floor would swallow them. “You know, the kids who lost their parents. They don’t need this shit.”

  Tears filled my aunt’s eyes, but her expression was angry. “I didn’t ask for this either, you know. I didn’t ask for any of this. I’m doing the best I can.”

  “It’s not good enough!” The anger in my voice surprised me, and by the expression on my aunt’s face, it surprised her too. Maybe my delivery had been piss-poor, but nevertheless, my words were true. My eyes shifted to my siblings. Emily was crying, and Ben had his arm wrapped protectively around her.

  I ran my hands over my head and turned away to collect myself, but what I really wanted to do was charge back into the living room and use my uncle’s face to wipe the floor. I was equally pissed at my aunt. She might not have asked for the responsibility, but my parents had entrusted their children to her. She owed them more. I owed them more. I turned back around to face my siblings.

  “This isn’t good enough,” I told them. “But I’m going to make it better.”

  CHAPTER 7

  Jake

  BEN TOOK EMILY upstairs. Once I was sure my siblings were out of earshot, I crossed my arms and met Aunt Christy’s gaze evenly. “I’m taking them to live with me.”

  The words were out of my mouth before I fully understood what I was saying. But once I’d spoken them out loud, the plan felt right. The four of us needed to stick together, and if that took sacrifices on my part to make it happen, then so be it.

  Laughing, she shifted so that her stance mirrored mine. “You can’t be serious.” When my expression didn’t change, she stopped laughing. “You’re serious?”

  “They can’t live here like this.”

  Closing her eyes, she pressed on her temples with her fingertips and rotated them. The moment stretched on in silence for the better part of a minute while I waited for her to process her thoughts. She opened her eyes and whispered, “Okay.”

  My eyebrows shot up as I failed to mask my surprise. I’d expected Aunt Christy to fight to keep the children of her only sister rather than turning them over to a semiresponsible twenty-one-year-old college student. Since she was their legal guardian, she could make a custody battle hard for me. In the eyes of the law, I had no leg to stand on unless I proved she and Uncle Brian were incompetent guardians. I would do whatever it took, but I really didn’t want to drag my mom’s sister through the mud.

  But it didn’t seem like it would be an issue. Aunt Christy seemed tired and resigned to the idea. Maybe even a little relieved.

  “You’ll have to wait until Monday,” she said. “They’ll need to be withdrawn from school.”

  Shit. I hadn’t thought that far ahead. Of course moving in with me meant they would have to change schools. They’d already changed once this year, and now they would be starting over again. For this arrangement to work, I wasn’t the only one who would have to make sacrifices. Fuck. I hope this is the right move.

  “Okay.” Guess my quick visit is turning into an extended weekend.

  “I’ll have my lawyer draw up some paperwork on Monday as well,” Aunt Christy continued. I hadn’t thought about that either. Damn. It was a good thing my aunt was on board, or I would be screwed.

  This shit was happening fast and getting real, quick. But the sound of my drunk uncle stumbling around in the living room reaffirmed my decision. My siblings couldn’t stay there. If I could take them away that very night, I would.

  I ran my hands through my hair. “Why didn’t you tell me things were bad?”

  Anger flashed in her eyes but quickly faded. “I wanted to handle it. I tried to handle it. Beth was my sister.”

  “My mom wouldn’t want her children living with a drunk who lashes out at them.”

  “I know.” She squeezed her eyes shut and put a fist up to her mouth. “Brian had been getting better. He was going to meetings and everything. But when the kids moved in, I didn’t have as much time for him, and he backslid into his old habits. Only worse.”

  I didn’t know a lot about alcoholics, but I knew that they wouldn’t change until they were ready. She couldn’t control Uncle Brian’s sobriety any more than she could control the weather.

  “Has he always had this problem?”

  Her refusal to meet my eyes answered my question. I wondered if my parents had realized their brother-in-law was an alcoholic and if they would have changed their wills had they known. But I supposed creating wills was just one of those things responsible adults did. They’d never expected to need them so soon. They shouldn’t have needed them so soon.

  My mom had been moving to a different classroom in the school where she taught, so my dad had gone in with her one evening to help her move furniture. On the way home, their car was hit by a semi whose driver had fallen asleep at the wheel. The doctor had told me their deaths were instantaneous, like that was supposed to be comforting. I was glad they hadn’t suffered, but they should still be alive. If not for some asshole…

  I exhaled slowly, letting my rage exit my body with my breath. Getting angry about it changed nothing. The man was behind bars for at least the next couple of years. I’d gone to the trial. He’d cried. That bastard had cried on the stand about how bad he felt and how sorry he was.

  I was just sorry my parents had died instead of him. Maybe one day I would be able to see him as an overworked man who’d made a mistake. But not now. The pain was too fresh, too raw.

  Forty-five minutes later, Ben, Ashley, Emily, and I were crowded in a booth at Red Robin, sipping on milkshakes while we waited for our food to arrive. All three of them had been eying me. They weren’t stupid—they knew something was up.

  “Do you like living with Aunt Christy and Uncle Brian?” I asked finally. I wasn’t sure how to broach the topic. Hey guys, doesn’t moving and starting in a new school at the end of the school year sound fun? As a bonus, I’ll be busy with school and football most of the time.

  None of them answered for a moment. Then Ashley snorted. “Like it matters,” she muttered. “We’re stuck in that hellhole.”

  She gave me a hard look, as if daring me to correct her language. I would let it slide for now. Lord knew my mouth wasn’t clean, but at least I tried not to curse around Emily.

  “Aunt Christy is nice. She braids my hair sometimes,�
�� Emily said. “Not a French braid like Mom used to do. She tried really hard to learn how, but she just couldn’t get it.”

  My youngest sister’s statement was a perfect analogy that she probably didn’t even realize she was making. Or maybe she did. Though she could sometimes come across as flighty, Emily was bright.

  Hell, there was no sense beating around the bush. I swallowed. “Do you want to come live in Bleaksburg with me?”

  They exchanged wide-eyed looks with one another but didn’t answer immediately. Fuck. I hadn’t thought about what I would do if they didn’t want to. Continuing to live with Uncle Brian was not a choice. If I had to quit school and move back to my hometown, I would. I’d never considered that a viable option, but being there with them made me realize I would do it if I had to. Please don’t make me have to. I didn’t want to risk resenting them for it.

  “Are you serious?” Ben asked, his words echoing Aunt Christy’s.

  “Yeah.” Suddenly I was self-conscious. Maybe they didn’t want to live with me. Just like I didn’t know them well, they didn’t know me anymore either. I hadn’t lived at home in three years, and even before then, I hadn’t had much to do with them when I was an upperclassman in high school. I’d been too busy and, frankly, too self-absorbed.

  Emily’s mouth stretched into a grin. “Yes, please.” Well, that was easy. I held out my fist, and she bumped it.

  Ashley narrowed her eyes at me. “What are we going to do? Live in your apartment with you? Don’t you think your roommate will mind?”

  Damn. Ashley’s attitude was going to take some getting used to. She was only twelve, and besides her mouthiness, she was already sneaking out with older boys and drinking. I hated to think what she would be like in her teen years. I needed to put an end to that shit before it got worse.

  She had a point, though.

  “I haven’t figured that part out yet,” I admitted. “We’ll have to find a house to rent or something.”

  Ashley still looked skeptical, and I couldn’t fault her. It was obvious I was winging it, which didn’t exactly inspire confidence. But my parents had done a good job with me. I would just have to try to remember and replicate what they did.