The Substitute

by Sean Ashcroft

  They were all new things for Flynn to notice, but now that he had, he couldn’t stop thinking about any of them. He didn’t expect to get a whole lot of work done today, not when he could spend his time thinking about Zach instead.

  That probably should have been more alarming than it was.

  “Thank you,” Zach said softly, turning his head and opening his eyes to look at Flynn. He took a breath as if to say something else, but the sound of a phone buzzing made him pause.

  Flynn knew it wasn’t his, because he kept his phone on silent. If he could have disabled the ability for it to take calls, he would have.

  Zach rolled out of bed and grabbed his discarded pants, fumbling with them until his phone fell out onto the floor and he had to bend down to pick it up.

  The view was great, which eased the sting of Zach getting out of bed so soon.

  “It’s my grandma,” he said. “I’d better take this.”

  Flynn watched him disappear out of the bedroom, smirking to himself at what a great butt his husband had.

  Chapter Eighteen

  “Hi, Grandma,” Zach said as he answered the phone, ducking into the bathroom so he wouldn’t disturb Flynn, who seemed to want to go back to sleep.

  “You sound tired,” Violet replied on the other end, apparently not fooled by Zach’s admittedly weak attempt to sound as though he wasn’t.

  “It’s early.” He moved his phone away from his ear to glance at the time and make sure it was early. As it turned out, it was a few minutes past seven, which gave him plenty of time to shower, get dressed, and get to class. “I have an eight a.m. class.”

  “So do I,” Violet said. “But it’s for yoga and I’m allowed to skip it. You’re not allowed to skip yours.”

  Zach chuckled. “I know, I know.”

  He’d promised he’d take this seriously and do his best, and he intended to. Zach owed his grandma too much to disappoint her.

  He owed Flynn too much to disappoint him, too. Both of them deserved his best effort.

  Besides, the eight a.m. class meant he’d always have an excuse to spend the night here once a week. At least for the next ten weeks, anyway. By that time, Zach was hoping he’d maybe be spending more than one night a week here.

  It was hard not to like Flynn, and nearly impossible not to want to spend more time with him.

  “But you’re happy with your decision, aren’t you?” she asked. “Because you can always quit. No shame in it.”

  “I’m happy,” Zach replied quickly. “Seriously, I’ve got great lecturers and my classmates are engaged and I’m getting to work with a really good group of people. I feel really lucky and I can’t thank you enough.”

  “As long as you’re happy,” Violet said. “Speaking of, how’s your beautiful husband?”

  Zach chuckled. Flynn would have loved to be called beautiful, he was pretty sure.

  The husband part was still… not quite where they were with this relationship, though. Things were going well, but even Zach’s lonely, needy personality wouldn’t have convinced him to marry Flynn just yet.

  Despite the fact that Flynn was turning out to be an incredible husband, as husbands went. He was kind, and warm, and good in bed. And he cooked. What more could Zach possibly want?

  “He’s fine. Good, even. But I think he’s asleep right now, if you were hoping to talk to him,” Zach said. If he was going to keep lying to his grandma, he really didn’t want to drag Flynn into it again. That didn’t seem fair, and he’d already done more than enough.

  “That’s fine,” Violet said. “I was actually calling to tell you that I’ll have a chance to see you both in person this weekend. I thought I’d come up, see that you were settled, maybe you could show me your studio like you keep promising…”

  Oh no.

  No, no, no.

  Blood rushed in Zach’s ears, his heart pounding. She couldn’t come here.

  There was no way he could show his grandma the tiny studio apartment he lived in and convince her that Flynn lived with him, and that they were both happy with that. He couldn’t convince her that Flynn could afford to look after him.

  And then he couldn’t keep going to school, because she’d be mad that he lied in the first place.

  Zach swallowed past a lump in his throat. This was what he got for lying.

  That was why his parents had warned him against it all his life. Hell, normally he would never have told a lie like this, but it had seemed harmless, and he was still convinced that it wasn’t hurting anyone, but he was about to get completely busted.

  “That sounds great,” he said, brain scrambling at a thousand miles an hour to come up with an excuse, but just giving him static in return. “I’m uh… I’m not sure how busy Flynn is this weekend, though,” he added.

  It was a weak excuse, but maybe it’d buy him time to come up with a better one.

  “Oh, don’t worry, I’m not expecting to crash your little love nest,” Violet said.

  The phrasing made Zach cringe, but it was a relief to hear she wasn’t planning on staying with them.

  “I have a hotel booked near where Flynn said you two lived. And I’ve got airport transfers all sorted out, so you don’t even have to worry about coming to meet me. I just want to see you happy again. I didn’t get nearly long enough with you at the wedding.”

  Zach bit his lip.

  Maybe, if she wasn’t planning on staying with them, he could do this. He could find a way to… fake and lie his way through it. Even without Flynn’s help, since the last thing he wanted was to drag him into it.

  He’d still have to tell Flynn, maybe beg him to make an appearance, but…

  Zach didn’t want their whole relationship to be Flynn doing him a series of favors. Flynn had already done more than he could ever repay, and he’d done it without ever thinking of himself, and it would have been too easy to take advantage of him.

  Like everyone else had. Flynn deserved better than that.

  Zach liked him too much to be like everyone else. If they were going to pursue… whatever it was they were doing right now, he wanted to be good for Flynn. Not just another asshole who used him for their own gain.

  On the other hand, he couldn’t pull this off without at least a little cooperation. Dammit.

  It was pretty obvious that his grandma had this all thought out, and she sounded sincere when she said she wanted to see him, and…

  Well, since he came out, she was all he had. His parents didn’t hate him, exactly, they just didn’t want anything to do with him. They’d refused to come to the wedding.

  Violet had taken him in when living with them had been too stressful, and hugged him, and promised him everything would be all right. And it had been, and Zach had spent two years living with her until he went off to college, and they’d been a really good two years.

  He missed her, too. He wanted to see her.

  He just didn’t want her to be disappointed in him for lying to her in the first place, and the longer she was around, the more likely they were to get caught.

  “You could have stayed with us,” Zach said, confident that she wouldn’t change her mind now. “As long as you didn’t mind the couch.”

  He stopped just short of reporting how comfortable it was, since that would probably have sounded suspicious.

  “I’m too old to sleep on a couch, honey,” Violet said. “Besides, I’m not planning on being in the way. I just miss you.”

  Zach couldn’t really argue with that.

  Fine.

  Fine, he’d just have to suck it up, and do this, and ask Flynn to help him all over again. Which meant there was every risk that Flynn would think Zach only wanted him to keep lying to his grandma, and not because he was the best person Zach had ever known.

  The thought of risking his relationship with Flynn made his stomach knot up, but…

  He’d always have his education, if he could hang onto the funding for it. Keeping Flynn forever didn’t seem all that like
ly. They were having fun now, but Flynn was bound to find someone better. Everyone else he’d dated had.

  “Are you sure you don’t want me to meet you at the airport? I don’t have a car, but I know most of the bus routes now.”

  “Sweetheart, I’ve travelled before and I’m not old. Not yet, anyway. Let me worry about the details. Just set aside some time for me this weekend, okay? I’m landing Friday afternoon and taking you boys out to dinner.”

  There was no saying no to this. He couldn’t claim it was inconvenient, or that he couldn’t do it. She was making it as easy on him as possible.

  “Well… if you need anything, just… tell me, okay? I love you, grandma.”

  He felt like such an asshole for lying to her. It had seemed like the easy way out at the time, a good way to keep everyone happy, but now…

  This would teach him a lesson about dishonesty, he supposed. Not that he was much of a liar. He was still stunned she’d believed it, and that seemed to be mostly down to Flynn being as charming as he was.

  It wasn’t hard to believe that anyone could fall in love with him.

  “I love you too, honey. And I’m excited to see you happy and settled, even if it’s so far away from your poor grandma. I’ll forward you my flight details, okay?”

  “Okay,” Zach agreed. “I’m excited to see you too.”

  Or at least, he would have been if he wasn’t currently panicking.

  “Love you,” Violet said, and then hung up the phone.

  Zach set the phone down beside the sink, staring up at his own disheveled reflection in the mirror. He didn’t even have time to talk to Flynn about this now, but the longer he left it, the worse it’d be.

  Taking a deep breath, Zach promised himself that his head would be clearer after he’d showered, and he could arrange to meet Flynn for coffee at lunchtime, and they could go from there.

  Things would be fine.

  They’d have to be.

  Chapter Nineteen

  “So, looking forward to class today?” Flynn asked, putting the finishing touches on breakfast. He’d done Zach’s eggs exactly how he liked them, and he was ridiculously proud of the crispiness of the bacon.

  Good moods like this didn’t come along all that often, so he planned on savoring this one.

  “Yeah,” Zach said. “Honestly, the last few weeks have been so overwhelming with all the admin stuff and assessment requirements and getting to know the buildings and the people and… everything, but this week I’m starting to feel less like I don’t belong.”

  “Of course you belong,” Flynn responded automatically. “You got in, didn’t you?”

  Zach laughed. “Yeah. Yeah, I got in, but it still feels like a mistake sometimes. Like I don’t deserve it.”

  “You do,” Flynn said firmly. “I don’t know anything about art, but I do know they don’t just hand out spots in Masters programs. And I know you know about art, because of the way you talk about it. It goes right over my head, but you sound confident.”

  “You should have told me I wasn’t making any sense to you,” Zach mumbled. “Now I feel like an asshole.”

  “Don’t,” Flynn said, finally satisfied with his breakfast presentation. Maybe he was going overboard with trying to impress Zach, but…

  Well, he wanted Zach to be impressed. That was all there was to it, really.

  “I liked hearing you talk about things you cared about,” he explained as he set the plates down at the table. “And I got the gist. I’m just saying… you deserve to be where you are. No question.”

  Zach laughed. “You’re so kind to me. I feel even worse that I need to ask you for a favor, now.”

  “What kind of favor?” Flynn asked.

  Zach groaned, sitting back in his seat but grabbing his knife and fork anyway. “This looks incredible,” he said. “Are you sure I can’t just sit here and eat it instead of telling you?”

  Flynn chuckled. Zach was probably just saying that so he wouldn’t have to tell him whatever was on his mind right away, but he wasn’t immune to flattery. The thing he wanted to hear most in life was that the way he was trying to take care of someone worked for them.

  Right now, he was trying to take care of Zach by feeding him, and he was saying nice things about that. There were few things that could have made Flynn happier.

  “You could do both,” Flynn said, starting in on his own eggs. “I’m probably not gonna say no, for the record.”

  “That just makes it worse. I don’t wanna use you,” Zach sighed.

  “Just ask me,” Flynn said. “Come on, man. I won’t bite.”

  Zach sighed. “My grandma is coming into town this weekend to see us.”

  Flynn looked up from his own plate, a forkful of eggs and toast halfway to his mouth. He blinked at Zach, processing what he’d just said.

  “What?” he asked, his heartbeat starting to speed up.

  “I know. I know,” Zach said. “She wasn’t about to take no for an answer and honestly I didn’t want to tell her no, she’s all I’ve got and she just wants me to be happy and… now I’m screwed.”

  “You’re not screwed,” Flynn replied.

  He paused for a moment to shove his fork in his mouth, wanting to give himself a second to consider his response.

  The obvious solution was for them to just… pretend to be genuinely married for a few days, while Zach’s grandma was in town.

  Things were going okay, weren’t they? Maybe they hadn’t quite figured out what they wanted from each other yet, but…

  “We’ll show her what she wants to see,” he said, almost before he’d reached a conscious decision. “Take her out a few places, let her see us holding hands… it'll be fine.”

  The little thrill of excitement in the pit of Flynn’s stomach at the thought of holding Zach’s hand was probably fine, too.

  “She has dinner reservations for Friday,” Zach said, as though this was the worst thing that’d ever happened to him.

  “Okay, keep Friday night open. Got it,” Flynn said. “And you might as well stay here for the weekend.”

  He was inviting Zach to stay for convenience. That was all. Definitely not because he wanted him around for an extended period.

  Well. Maybe a little because he wanted Zach around.

  Okay, definitely because he wanted Zach around, but also because it would be convenient, and it’d make it easier to pretend they were really living together, which married couples tended to do.

  Even if they definitely weren’t ready for that, married couple status aside.

  “I can’t ask that of you,” Zach said between mouthfuls of bacon. He seemed to be enjoying it, so at least Flynn had gotten that part right.

  “You’re not asking,” Flynn responded, a sense of deja vu washing over him. This was almost the same conversation they’d had when he’d first offered to stand in for Aiden.

  Zach sighed, sitting back again. “You’re too kind for your own good, you know that?”

  Flynn smiled wryly. “Heard that before,” he said, remembering having this conversation with Zach, too. “You’re gonna have to learn to accept that.”

  “I’m just not used to it. Not from anyone other than my grandma, anyway,” Zach said. “I’m not sure I’ll ever be used to it.”

  “Look, I got you into this mess, for better or worse. I’m planning on seeing it through. I promise.”

  “For better or worse?” Zach raised an eyebrow.

  “We are really married,” Flynn said. “And I’ve looked after you, haven’t I? So technically you didn’t even lie to your grandma.”

  “I don’t think she’d see it that way.” Zach straightened up again, starting in on the rest of his plate.

  “Which is why we’re gonna show her what she wants to see,” Flynn said. “As long as that’s what you want.”

  Zach nodded. “It is. Or at least… it’s the best solution for everyone, I think. I want her to believe I’m okay. And I am okay. So… yeah. If you’re happ
y to play married again…”

  “I am,” Flynn agreed. “I’ll even kiss you right in front of her if you want.”

  A dark blush colored Zach’s cheeks as he looked down at his plate. “I’m probably not gonna say no to you kissing me. Even if it is in front of my grandma.”

  Joy welled up in Flynn’s chest, giddiness at the thought that Zach wanted to be kissed, by him, making him grin broadly.

  “See? Everything’s gonna be fine. Come back here when your class is over and we can talk about… stuff that might come up.”

  Zach looked up at him, half a piece of toast in his mouth. “Stuff that might come up?” he asked between bites.

  Flynn shrugged. “Like… how we met, for example.”

  “Oh.” Zach frowned, obviously seeing the problem. “Right, because the truth would be…”

  “Not ideal,” Flynn finished for him. “I mean, for most stuff we should probably stick as close to it as we can and just… not contradict each other, but for everything else we need to get our stories straight.

  “Or gay,” Zach teased. “I’m proud of you, by the way. For not freaking out.”

  “It’s not like it’s a big deal.” Flynn shrugged, deciding not to mention that he had freaked out a little in front of Callie. He’d gotten over it since then. “My brother and my best friend are both gay. And so is my boyfriend.”

  “Boyfriend?” Zach licked his lips, hope shining in his eyes, and that was exactly the reaction Flynn had wanted.

  Excitement made his stomach feel tight. Boyfriend sounded awesome, and that was definitely something he wanted from Zach.

  “Boyfriend,” he confirmed. “If that’s… cool with you. I know it’s kind of a downgrade from husband, but…”

  “It’s an upgrade from random stranger you married to help him out,” Zach said. “Boyfriend works for me.”

  “Good,” Flynn murmured, wrapping both of his hands around his coffee mug. His heart skipped as he glanced up at Zach, busy finishing his breakfast and making happy sounds as he did so, tapping his foot to music that was obviously only playing in his head.