The Substitute

by Sean Ashcroft

  That definitely made this hotter. Flynn had always liked to know his partners, but being desperately, hopelessly in love, like this, where he wasn’t afraid of losing it… this was so much better.

  Breath caught in his throat as Zach finally pushed the tip of his finger inside him, the sensation strange and alien for a moment as Flynn processed it, his body taking just a few seconds to adjust before he was pushing back for more.

  “Oh wow,” Zach murmured behind him, awe in his voice. “You like this.”

  Flynn nodded, not sure he could form a coherent response right now, his head spinning with how sensitive he was, and holy hell how had he never noticed that before? Why hadn’t anyone ever done this for him?

  “You’re so hot,” Zach continued. “And you look great like this, by the way. I could get used to it.”

  Flynn nodded again, eager to let Zach get used to this. Now that he knew he had him, that they both wanted to keep each other, he couldn’t wait for the rest of their lives to start.

  At least he was starting as he meant to go on. Desperate and needy for his gorgeous husband who’d given him so much, who he loved with all his heart, who he maybe wanted to marry all over again someday.

  And maybe that was too much or too fast, but with Zach stroking his thigh and pressing his fingers inside him and making soft, delighted sounds the whole time… the thought was there, and Flynn wasn’t going to forget it.

  He’d let Zach graduate first.

  Probably.

  As Zach worked his finger in a little further, Flynn felt something give inside him—a release of tension he hadn’t been consciously holding, a flood of warmth and need and arousal that made it easier to relax into this. A long, low moan escaped him as the rest of the length of Zach’s finger slipped into his body, a drop of precome welling up at the tip of his cock.

  Oh yeah. He could definitely get into this.

  “Fuck,” he gasped as Zach twisted his finger, and dammit, if this felt good, how much better would his cock be? The thought of having Zach inside him, connected so intimately, so close, closer than he’d ever been to anyone…

  It was enough to make Flynn’s head light, the room swaying around him, heat and lust curling up together in his belly and making him feel heavy and needy and absolutely ready for this, the last of his reservations melting away as Zach pressed a kiss to his ass, nipping at the skin as he pulled back, his laughter filling the room.

  A deep, needy sound rumbled in the depths of Flynn’s chest, and he spread his knees a little wider again, thighs already sore with the effort. Zach had warned him that he’d feel this in the morning, but he really didn’t care, not if he was getting all of Zach’s care and attention now.

  “So responsive,” Zach purred, clearly thrilled, and the praise made Flynn shift his weight shyly, joy welling up inside him, making his lungs tight.

  He could definitely get used to this. And he had all the time in the world to do it.

  By the time Zach pressed a second finger against him, Flynn was rocking his hips back onto the first one, his cock leaking steadily, his belly tight with need. He bit his lip as it slipped inside him easily, his previously nervous muscles suddenly eager to cooperate in the interest of getting more, more of this, more of Zach.

  “Feels good,” Flynn gritted out, not trusting himself with anything complex right now.

  Zach chuckled, the sound settling in Flynn’s chest like a physical thing, happiness filling him up so much it made his lungs feel tight. He’d never felt this good about sex, and they’d barely even gotten started.

  The hand Zach had been resting on Flynn’s thigh slid up and under him, coming to rest low on his belly, fingers splayed possessively, as though Zach was trying to touch as much of Flynn as he could at once.

  Flynn whimpered at the thought, knowing that he was Zach’s, all Zach’s, from now until forever. That this was it, and he was so damned happy he could have burst.

  He’d found what he’d been looking for. Zach was the sweet, kind, patient soul Flynn needed to make his own complete, and he had him, and he was never, ever letting go.

  A third finger shoving into him threatened to short circuit his brain entirely, and suddenly Flynn was all need and feeling, his skin tingling with every brush of Zach’s fingers against it as he stroked and touched and kneaded, working Flynn open steadily.

  It was just as well he was on his hands and knees, honestly, because anything else would have been too much. Not that he didn’t want to try… every other possible position, and a few he wasn’t sure were possible, but…

  This was good for a first time.

  They’d have plenty more times, if Flynn got his way.

  And he would. Because for once in his life, he’d offered his heart to someone who wanted him, for his own sake, and not just as someone who could do things for them.

  “You’re gonna feel incredible,” Zach murmured, finally pulling his fingers out.

  Flynn’s stomach tensed up with anticipation again, but he forced himself to breathe as deeply as he could and focus on staying relaxed for Zach, because he needed this, and he was going to get it.

  A low moan escaped him as he felt the head of Zach’s cock brush against him, easing into position, pressing at his hole. Flynn bit his lip, letting his head hang between his shoulders, eyes closed, picturing them both in his head.

  Zach ran his hand up and down Flynn’s spine in smooth, calming strokes, firm enough to be reassuring. His cock felt both hot and huge, and Flynn was almost positive that was nerves talking, and he wasn’t really nervous, but oh god this was his first time and-

  Ah.

  Oh.

  Wow.

  Stars burst behind Flynn’s eyelids as Zach pushed forward, stretching him to what felt like his limits, filling him in a completely new, completely incredible way, and even as he was still riding the wave of the initial surprise and pressure and panicky too much, too much feeling, Flynn knew he’d want this again.

  That was the thing about Zach. He was easy to imagine a future with.

  Even if Flynn’s current imagined future mostly involved getting well and truly fucked on a regular basis.

  A groan tore out of his throat as Zach bottomed out, their hips pressed against each other, skin-on-skin contact grounding and overwhelming at the same time, giving Flynn something to push back against but sending sparks of pleasure skittering over his skin everywhere he was in contact with Zach.

  Fuck. This was good, better than he’d imagined.

  Probably because it was Zach. Zach, inside him, like no one else had ever been before.

  “Oh yeah,” Flynn gasped, his lungs burning for air as he tried frantically to catch his breath. “Damn,” he added for good measure, since speaking in complete sentences was a power completely lost to him at the moment.

  Zach shifted his weight, curling one hand around Flynn’s shoulder and rocking his hips once, gently, a tentative test of whether or not Flynn was ready for more.

  Flynn moaned in response, right on the verge of begging, so yeah, he was ready. More than ready.

  Zack felt so goddamn good inside him, thick and hot and perfect, like he’d been made to fit, and Flynn had gone from never even dreaming of this a week ago to gasping and moaning and needing it, barely stopping himself from demanding harder and faster, trusting Zach to know what the hell he was doing.

  A few lazy thrusts told Flynn that he was teasing, but considering he could only just manage to breathe and think at the same time right now, he wasn’t really in a position to object. Hell, calling his sudden urge to be fucked into the mattress thinking was probably over-generous.

  All he could really do was feel, and want, and cling to the absolute certainty of how right this was, how calm the touch of Zach’s fingers made him feel, holding him steady, a silent reassurance that he was there, and he wasn’t going anywhere.

  That was what this was about, really. The need to know that Zach was his now, that they’d gotten past Aiden
’s bullshit, that they could be together. Really, honestly be together, and Flynn’s heart felt so damned full every time he thought that.

  He wasn’t going to get used to this anytime soon, but that was probably fine. The last thing he wanted was to take Zach for granted.

  Zach’s thrusts started to speed up, settling into a rhythm that barely gave Flynn the chance to catch his breath, the force making his body rock back and forth as well, the bedsprings creaking under him.

  This was so good, the feeling of being cared for, of having something done for him, for once, and he could tell already that he’d want to do this again, that in his neediest, most clingy moments he’d want Zach inside him, reassuring him that he was there, that he was desirable, and that he was worth a little effort.

  When Zach’s hand curled around his cock, grip firm and confident, any remaining ability to think melted away from Flynn with the first stroke. All he could do was feel everywhere Zach was touching him, the incredible friction against what he guessed was his prostate, the sound of his breathing, his own heartbeat drumming in his ears, in his chest.

  It was too much, and not enough, and perfect all at once.

  He closed his eyes and let himself sink into the feeling for long moments, moans and gasps escaping him at Zach’s deep, slow thrusts, each one brushing against what felt like every sensitive spot Flynn had. His thighs trembled, and his gut felt hot and tight, and all he could do was ride it out and trust Zach.

  And he did. He trusted Zach with all of this, and with his heart. With everything.

  Flynn could feel his orgasm building in the pit of his stomach, heat and pressure pooling there, his thighs protesting the effort of holding himself up, a deep ache settling in that he’d definitely feel tomorrow. Zach’s thrusts were speeding up, too, harder and faster, every one knocking the breath out of him.

  His head was spinning, and he was so damned close, his stomach tight, his balls heavy, and Zach was still pounding into him, and for just a moment, everything in Flynn’s life was so perfect he could have cried.

  He gasped as Zach bent down to kiss the back of his neck, a cut-off moan catching in his throat as the first wave of overwhelming pleasure washed from the base of his skull all the way down his spine, leaving him shuddering as he started to come.

  All Flynn could do was ride it out, pushing back onto Zach’s cock, biting his lip hard enough to taste blood as Zach’s fingers worked him expertly, his cock twitching in Zach’s hand, spilling over him as he jerked into it, chasing every last second of pleasure.

  Zach’s grip tightened for a moment as he came, too, panting against the back of Flynn’s neck, a low, needy sound rolling in the back of his throat, his hips jerking as well as he finished, gasping for breath.

  When he was done, Zach rested his weight against Flynn’s back for a handful of seconds, warm and panting heavily. He rolled off a moment later, leaving Flynn to wince at the sudden loss of his cock and miss him immediately.

  Oh yeah. He was definitely all-in with this.

  The thought made him smile as he rolled over, eager to snuggle up beside him while they both came down and regained the power of speech and the ability to do anything other than lie there and bask in the subtle aftershocks of pleasure.

  This was what happiness felt like, Flynn decided. Fucked-out and curled up next to the man he loved, secure in the knowledge that he could keep him.

  “Does this mean I have to make you eggs this time?” Zach asked, smiling a tiny, awed smile at Flynn.

  Flynn chuckled. “I’m not gonna say no, but I think we’ve established that taking care of people is… kinda my thing. It’s how I show affection.”

  “It could be how I show affection, too,” Zach said, reaching out to brush a strand of hair away from Flynn’s face. “I love you. I want you to know that. Even if it means I have to learn how to cook an egg.”

  “True love,” Flynn said, nodding sagely. He couldn’t stop himself from grinning and ruining the joke, though. His heart was so full, so completely focused on how much he loved Zach and how lucky he was to have found him.

  At least Aiden had done one thing for him. Probably the most important thing of his life.

  “No regrets?” Zach asked softly.

  “No regrets,” Flynn confirmed. “About anything. Aiden doesn’t get another second of my time until he apologizes, in full, to you. And then you get to make decisions about how much of it he gets, because you matter to me, too, and if I’ve gotta pick between you…”

  “You don’t,” Zach said. “I don’t hate him. Especially not now that I know I have you.”

  Flynn breathed a sigh of relief. He would have chosen Zach, who was definitely better for him and the person he wanted to share his life with from here on out, but Aiden was still his brother.

  “You’ve got me,” Flynn promised. “For as long as you want.”

  Zach smiled, his eyes sparkling in the low light of the bedside lamp. “Could be a long time,” he said.

  “I could live with that,” Flynn replied, smiling back.

  If Zach wanted forever as much as he did, he could definitely live with that.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  “These eggs are incredible,” Flynn said as he started in on his breakfast. “You’re really getting good at this.”

  Zach smiled to himself, setting a cup of coffee down in front of Flynn—he’d learned to make that, too—and kissing the top of his head before sitting opposite him.

  Flynn had eaten Zach’s first attempt at making him eggs, which, in hindsight, was a testament to how much he loved him.

  He’d since learned that the perfect fried egg involved a lot more oil and a lot less heat, and now he liked to think he’d mastered the perfect half-set yolk Flynn liked. Pride welled up in his chest when Flynn cut into them and the yolk didn’t quite spill out, but wasn’t solid, either, like something from the cover of a cookbook.

  The rest of his cooking skills remained… passable, but this had become a ritual for them over the past few months.

  This was the one tiny thing he could do for Flynn, a gesture that he’d take care of him, too, that not everything was Flynn’s responsibility.

  “I love you,” Zach said, like he always did on mornings when he woke up beside Flynn, because he spent the first few hours thinking about it.

  This morning, though, he had another thought on his mind. He tapped on his glass of orange juice nervously, unsure how to phrase what he wanted to ask.

  “Love you too,” Flynn responded distractedly, focused on breakfast.

  Which was fine. It was nice to be comfortable like this. That was why Zach wanted to ask what he wanted to ask.

  And he knew, really, that the answer would be yes. He had a good grip on this whole relationship, he was pretty sure.

  Once he got around to broaching the subject, Flynn would look up at him, and his pretty blue eyes would be so soft and warm, and he’d smile so they crinkled at the corners, and say of course.

  Because it wasn’t much to ask, and it was practically what they were doing anyway, and this would just be… a little more final and permanent.

  “You might wanna just ask,” Flynn interrupted Zach’s thoughts. “You’re so nervous you’re making me nervous.”

  Zach met his gaze, too stunned for a moment to do anything other than stare, and then cleared his throat.

  “I, uh… I was thinking… it’s the end of the semester, and my lease is about to expire, and… is it… maybe… okay if I move in here?”

  As expected, Flynn’s eyes softened, a warm smile spreading across his face. “Obviously,” he said, which was almost of course. “I’ve been hoping you’d move in since I gave you the key.”

  Zach breathed a sigh of relief. He knew that. Flynn had said as much, but he hadn’t wanted to crowd him, hadn’t wanted to take over his life the way it sounded like everyone else did, and that had made him pause.

  Now, though, he was ready. Flynn had changed, but in ways tha
t only made Zach smile. He was more confident. He said no when he didn’t want to do things, even to Zach, and that felt incredible. Zach knew now that Flynn wasn’t afraid of losing him, that he was convinced Zach would stay even if he was having a bad day or a bad week and just wanted to sit on the couch in his underwear and eat pizza.

  Some of Zach’s favorite moments so far had been like that, when Flynn could lean on him for a change. He liked being someone Flynn could rely on.

  Someone who he could love without being used.

  “Yeah, okay,” Zach said, blushing. “It was a stupid thing to worry about.”

  “As long as you’re not worried anymore,” Flynn said kindly. “I want you here. All the time.”

  Zach sighed. No matter how many times Flynn said something like that, he was excited to hear it.

  Because that was what he wanted, too. To be a part of Flynn’s life, always.

  “So I shouldn’t worry about getting those divorce papers just yet? We did say the end of the semester…”

  “I think we can hold off,” Flynn agreed. “I kinda like being married to you.”

  “Weird, I kinda like being married to you, too,” Zach said, nibbling on the corner of his toast.

  They could have this every morning once he moved in. Fill every single morning of their lives with love and warmth and laughter, just the two of them.

  Zach could hardly wait.

  Epilogue

  Two years later...

  “Where are you?” Flynn asked the moment Callie picked up the phone, his stomach all tied up in knots.

  “We’re literally two minutes away,” Callie said. “Keep your pants on.”

  “My pants are on,” Flynn said, though hearing that Callie was two minutes away—which definitely meant five—soothed him a little.

  They still had fifteen minutes before they needed to leave, anyway, and if he was a little late… well, that was traditional, wasn’t it?