The Substitute

by Sean Ashcroft

  He couldn’t have both. Aiden had made that clear.

  And the thing was, that was Aiden’s problem. It didn’t need to be his problem at all.

  Aiden had brought this on himself. A hundred times over. Every time before now, Flynn had forgiven and forgotten.

  Not this time. Not when he’d been so close to being so damned happy with Zach.

  Flynn pulled his phone out of his pocket, pulling up his last text conversation with Aiden. The one Aiden hadn’t even bothered to respond to.

  He squeezed Callie’s fingers, his knee bouncing nervously under the table and his stomach in knots. This was a hard thing to do.

  But it was also the right thing to do. For him, for once. He deserved to be happy, too, and Aiden was determined to stop him.

  Not anymore.

  You’ve got until I get back to be gone, Flynn typed, his fingers shaking. This isn’t a discussion. Get out of my house.

  Taking a deep breath, he passed the phone over to Callie. “I gotta ask you to hit send for me,” he said, feeling guilty for having to lean on her.

  Callie paused for a moment while she read the text, and then hit send without even asking Flynn if he was sure. She knew. She’d been trying to tell him for years that Aiden was bad for him.

  Tears welled up in Flynn’s eyes all over again, cold dread settling in his gut. His heart pounded in his chest at the thought of what he’d just done, and he had to suppress the urge to grab the phone back and text an apology or an excuse.

  A moment later, the feeling passed, and Flynn felt his shoulders straighten out for what seemed like the first time in forever. In his entire life.

  He was free.

  If Aiden didn’t want to be his family, the way family was supposed to be, fine. He’d had enough chances. Flynn didn’t plan on rejecting an apology, but that apology would have to be to Zach, too, and he’d have to mean it.

  He wasn’t cutting Aiden off. For once in his life, he was making Aiden face the consequences of his own actions.

  It felt good. After all the times he’d wished he had the strength to do this, he’d finally managed it.

  Zach had given him that strength. Which meant Zach was too important to lose.

  “I’m so proud of you.” Callie said, passing the phone back and standing up, walking around the table to wrap her arms around Flynn’s shoulders. “And you’ve still got a family. You’ve got me and Alexis and Lily. And we all love you. Always.”

  “I know,” Flynn said, his voice thick with emotion. He did know. He’d always known, deep down, that he’d always have Callie, and her family by extension.

  It was still good to hear it, though. Especially right now.

  “What’re you gonna do about Zach?” she asked as she pulled back, stroking her fingers through Flynn’s hair soothingly.

  He was lucky to have a friend like her, and he’d never forget it.

  “I need to go to a hardware store,” he said. “I assume you know where the nearest one is.”

  Callie laughed. “You assume I will because I’m a lesbian,” she said, rolling her eyes dramatically. “Unfortunately, you’re right. I’ll drive.”

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Smiling at customers who came by the stall was proving to be a monumental task for Zach, and having to put a on a brave face in front of his grandma was even worse.

  He missed Flynn. It’d only been a day, and it wasn’t like they saw each other every day, either, but he felt hollow knowing that he’d lost him, probably for good.

  The choice he’d made felt like a mistake. It would have been better to have Flynn. He hadn’t realized how awful he’d feel without him, but…

  This was what real heartbreak felt like. He thought he’d been heartbroken when Aiden suddenly left him, but this… this was a thousand times worse.

  Because it had been real. What he’d had with Flynn had been real, and good, and exactly what he’d wanted from his life. Someone warm and kind and fundamentally good to come home to, someone who could love him unconditionally, someone who wanted to be around him because of who he was, not just for the sex or for the sake of not being alone.

  He’d had that.

  And he’d thrown it away to hang onto a lie. A lie he hated telling.

  All he could think about now was Flynn’s smile, and his laughter, and the way his eyes had lit up when he’d shown him his studio, the way his hands had been all over everything. The feeling, deep in Zach’s gut, that he’d finally found someone who got him. Even though Flynn knew nothing about art.

  When he was in high school, Zach had read Wuthering Heights. The only part of it he remembered was the line whatever souls are made of, his and mine are the same. He’d gone over it with a highlighter, because he’d known as soon as he read it that it was what he was looking for.

  That was how he felt about Flynn. They didn’t have to be similar people, not really. They didn’t have to have all the same interests.

  None of that mattered. What mattered was that being with Flynn felt good, better than being with anyone else ever had, and Zach wanted that.

  And now he was afraid that he couldn’t get it back.

  But if he wanted it back… the first step would have to be telling the truth. So he could prove to Flynn that he wanted him even when he didn’t need him.

  “Grandma?” Zach began, unsure exactly where to start. “I, umm. I need to tell you something,” he said, sitting back down in his chair beside her.

  “Is this about Flynn, honey?” she asked.

  All Zach could do for a handful of seconds was stare. She knew. Or at least suspected.

  “Yeah.” He swallowed, pausing to gather his thoughts. “Yeah, I… I think you know he wasn’t… when we got married… he’s Aiden’s brother. Aiden was who I was supposed to marry, and I really did want to, I promise. But then he left me the night before the wedding, and Flynn offered to take his place when I explained what was at stake, and… we lied to you. I’m sorry.”

  “You’re a terrible liar,” Violet said, smiling warmly and reaching out to squeeze Zach’s arm. “I figured it was something like that.”

  “Why didn’t you say so?” Zach asked, his head pounding. She’d known the entire time and he’d spent so long being worried about it.

  “Because as soon as I realized you’d go through with something like that for the chance to go back to school, I knew it was what you really wanted. I could see how determined you were, and that it wasn’t a whim, and that you were smart and resourceful enough to make it work,” she said calmly.

  The whole world seemed to tilt under Zach’s feet.

  He should have known he couldn’t fool his grandma. He’d never been able to before.

  “Oh,” Zach said, unsure what else there was to say.

  “You’ve had a fight,” his grandma continued perceptively. Although, Zach suspected that he hadn’t been as subtle about it as he would have liked.

  “Yeah.” He sighed heavily, glancing over at the stall opposite, wishing things had gone differently. “Aiden—his brother, my ex—showed back up and he was mad about us,” Zach explained.

  To her credit, Violet barely reacted.

  It wasn’t that weird, Zach had decided. It wasn’t as though he’d been cheating on Aiden with his brother or anything, they’d clearly broken up at the time.

  “Aiden left me right before the wedding,” he continued, knowing they’d been over this but wanting to be clear—even in his own head, things were such a mess right now that he knew he needed to explain himself carefully. “And then Flynn showed up and I explained to him what the deal was, and he offered to step in. To pick up after his brother, like he’s been doing his whole life. And I let him because I wanted this so bad. But then… we started getting to know each other, and he’s been helping me out, too, and I just…”

  “You love him,” Violet said. “I could see it written all over your face at dinner on Friday.”

  Zach nodded.

 
He’d fallen in love with Flynn. He doubted there was anyone on Earth who’d met him and not done the same.

  “But then I screwed up,” Zach said. “And now… everything’s a mess. I wish I’d told him before. I wish I could tell him now.”

  “Well, here’s your chance.” Violet nodded to the front of the stall.

  Zach turned, his eyes widening as he saw Flynn standing there, both hands stuffed in his pockets.

  “Really?” he asked softly, awe making his eyes light up.

  A lump formed in Zach’s throat, but he swallowed past it and stood up, squeezing past the stall beside them to stand in front of Flynn.

  “Really,” he said, the pounding of his heart making him feel light-headed. “I love you. And I was just coming clean with Grandma about all this, because… because you’re more important to me, but I wasn’t sure if…”

  “You’re more important to me, too,” Flynn interrupted. “Than… than keeping Aiden happy. It’s one thing when he’s making me miserable, but I won’t let him make you miserable, too.”

  Flynn fumbled in his pocket for a moment, then produced a shiny new brass key. “This is, uh… I changed the locks last night. After Aiden left. He doesn’t have a key anymore, and I’ve got a spare, and… it’s closer to school?”

  “For me?” Flynn asked, staring at the key in Flynn’s hand, and then at the wedding ring he was still wearing.

  His stomach flipped over, heart pounding in his chest. Was this really…?

  “For you,” Flynn confirmed. “If you want it.”

  The squeal that escaped Zach in response was entirely involuntary, but that didn’t stop him throwing his arms around Flynn’s neck and holding him close, squeezing him tight. He wasn’t planning on ever letting go again.

  Not when he could have this.

  “I want it,” he said, taking the key from Flynn’s hand and closing his fingers around it so tightly the teeth dug into his palm. He needed to feel it there. He needed to be sure it was real.

  That he really could have Flynn, that he hadn’t lost him forever, that Flynn was willing to do something as huge as this for him.

  Aiden had hurt both of them, but he was still Flynn’s brother. The fact that he’d just said Zach meant more would take a whole lot of getting used to.

  “No pressure on like… moving in tomorrow, or anything. Just… my home is your home. Because you’ve kinda got my heart anyway. And you’re… family.”

  Zach’s breath caught in his throat, tears welling up in his eyes.

  Family.

  He knew how important family was to Flynn.

  “What I’m trying to say is,” Flynn continued. “I love you, too.”

  For a moment, Zach felt as though his heart had stopped. The rushing in his ears was the only indication that it hadn’t, and that was deafening, and his whole world narrowed down to Flynn, and how lucky he was, and how stupid he’d been.

  This was his second chance, and he wasn’t going to screw it up this time.

  He reached out to touch Flynn’s face, and then surged forward, their lips crashing together with enough force to make Flynn grunt into the kiss.

  Warm arousal flooded Zach’s belly, the thought that Flynn was his now making his heart swell with too much joy to contain. He laughed into Flynn’s mouth, pressing their bodies together.

  It didn’t matter if the whole goddamn craft market saw them. Zach had what he wanted, and he never planned on losing it again.

  A wolf-whistle sounded from behind the stall, and Zach finally remembered that they were in public and he definitely needed to stop short of sliding his hand under Flynn’s shirt, which had been his next move.

  His fingers itched to touch, but he backed off all the same. Later. There was always later.

  They’d done the hard part, now. He could wait a few hours before he ripped Flynn’s clothes off.

  He wouldn’t like it, but he could wait.

  Maybe.

  A little groping under the stall wouldn’t hurt him.

  “I think it’s time I went and got coffee and doughnuts,” Violet said, standing. “Keep my chair warm for me, Flynn.”

  Zach didn’t waste any time in dragging Flynn behind the stall, sitting him down, and then settling next to him with his head resting on his shoulder.

  When Flynn took his hand, his heart leapt in his chest.

  “Did you really tell her the truth?” Flynn asked, nuzzling Zach’s hair for just a moment.

  He definitely could have gotten used to this.

  “She already knew. Or at least, she knew the part where we were faking the wedding,” Zach said. “I filled her in on the rest of the details. She said once she saw that I was determined enough to go through with it anyway, she knew I’d be fine.”

  Flynn snorted, squeezing Zach’s hand. “Yeah, I was surprised that we got that one past her, honestly. Makes more sense that she knew.”

  “Yeah,” Zach agreed. “Listen… I need to apologize.”

  “No you don’t,” Flynn interrupted. “You were in an impossible position and you were right. You didn’t know how I felt because I was too much of a coward to tell you. Too afraid that you were looking at me and seeing Aiden, and trying to cling to what you had.”

  “What changed?” Zach asked. “Because I can tell you all day every day that you’re nothing like Aiden and I feel so lucky to have you that I could cry over it, but…”

  “But since when do I listen to people when they say nice things about me?” Flynn finished for him.

  “Exactly,” Zach said, fully intending to dedicate himself to changing that. He’d just have to shower Flynn with compliments until he started believing them.

  “I saw the look on your face when you realized Aiden was there,” Flynn said. “I saw… fear. And then I thought about all the times I’d been afraid of him, afraid of his disapproval, afraid of what he might do, and… that’s why he’s gone. Because it’s fine if he screws me around constantly, but it’s not fine if he does it to someone I love.”

  Zach’s breath hitched again. He wasn’t going to get used to hearing that Flynn loved him anytime soon, but he was fine with it being a surprise that set off a pang of pleasure in his chest every single time.

  “I’d still like to apologize,” Zach said. “Whether or not you need one.”

  Flynn shifted his weight a little, linking their fingers together. “Well… I do kinda wanna try anal,” he murmured.

  A rush of heat flooded Zach’s belly at the thought, but he could feel the tips of his ears burning as well. He couldn’t believe Flynn had said that in public.

  While they still had to sit out here for hours.

  Swallowing, he played with Flynn’s linked fingers nervously, excitement and anticipation making his gut tight.

  “You can’t just say things like that. Not when I’ve gotta smile at customers,” Zach said.

  “I guess I also can’t say that this is all your fault for being really obvious about how much you like it,” Flynn murmured against his ear. “Or that I haven’t stopped thinking about it since that first morning, but I wasn’t brave enough to ask until now.”

  Zach bit his lip, squirming in his seat, forcing himself to take deep breaths through his nose.

  He probably deserved a little torture, and now that Flynn was sure he had him, he was proving to be a master of it.

  A response died on his tongue as he spotted his grandma coming back over, having borrowed an extra folding chair from the front office as well.

  “You have no idea what you just asked for,” he whispered in Flynn’s ear instead. “But you’re gonna get it.”

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Flynn moaned as Zach ran slick fingertips up the inside of his thigh, his legs already trembling, nerves and anticipation making his whole body feel tense. He wanted this, though. Wanted Zach’s touch, his simple presence.

  He wanted Zach to care for him, and he was getting it, and he’d never been more excited.

&n
bsp; “You’re doing great,” Zach murmured, one hand curling around his thigh, the other inching closer to its destination, stroking Flynn’s skin in the meantime. It was grounding, and calming, and that had to be deliberate.

  Zach knew what he was doing.

  And Flynn couldn’t stop thinking about his hands, and all the things he’d made with them, and how goddamn competent they were. He was ready for this. He wanted Zach to touch him everywhere.

  He’d spent half his life pretending he wasn’t even interested in men, and now he didn’t have to, and he wanted everything. With Zach.

  Because Zach was special, and his, and Flynn was sure as hell going to make the most of that.

  The moment they’d been behind closed—and locked—doors, Zach had pounced on him, peeling his clothes off layer by layer, pushing him down onto the bed and grabbing lube and a condom and kissing him everywhere he could reach. Flynn was still tingling all over from that, glowing with the knowledge that Zach wanted him, just him.

  That they’d been lucky to find each other, and this was for real, and he could keep it. He could grab onto Zach with both hands and keep him in his life, forever.

  Flynn gasped as Zach’s fingers brushed against his hole, biting his lip and inching his knees further apart on the mattress as he pressed more firmly, strong, confident fingers teasing him, stopping just short of pressing inside, opening him up.

  Flynn’s cock strained up toward his stomach, blood rushing in his ears at the thought of what he was about to do. There was still a little nervous tension making his shoulders bunch up, his stomach feel tight, but overwhelmingly, he couldn’t wait to feel Zach inside him.

  He’d seen the look on Zach’s face when their positions had been reversed, and he’d been flattered when Zach had come back for more, and now he was getting this, and it was going to be incredible.

  “Come on,” he complained, shifting his hips, desperately wanting to get started now that Zach was so close.

  Zach tutted behind him, fingers still teasing lightly. Too lightly to get off on, but with just enough pressure to make Flynn want more, and dammit, Zach was good.

  He’d known that, known the way Zach touched him felt amazing before now, seen his confidence first hand, but this was the first time he was sure he got to keep it, that he could have this all the time, that Zach wasn’t just going to slip through his fingers like a handful of water.