SodaPDF-compressed-Think Like an Entrepreneur, Act Like a CEO

by dlavieri

  always looking for volunteers for his nonprofit. By making an

  e-mail introduction, you can help two people at once.

  ◆

  Show up. If somebody you know is giving a speech or

  planning an event they regard as important, work hard to

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  be there. They may always remember that you made the

  effort.

  ◆

  Cheer. If an acquaintance does something well, let them

  know you noticed and offer congratulations. Don’t be

  afraid to show your affection and be willing to share in the

  excitement.

  ◆

  Notice rough patches. If you see that somebody has hit

  hard times, don’t wait for them to call you. Assume that

  they would be around if you were in need and reach out.

  ◆

  Volunteer. There is no better way to get to know people

  than to work with them. So to break into a group, look for

  a chance to help with their project. This might mean offer-

  ing to join a committee at work, or looking around for non-

  profit groups that make a contribution in your community.

  2) Be in the moment. You may have casual contact with many peo-

  ple throughout each week. But if you’re like most folks, in some

  interactions you’re not actually paying attention. Instead of lis-

  tening, maybe you’re thinking about what you want to say next.

  Or perhaps you’re worrying about another project altogether.

  Get more from your routine conversations by working harder to

  focus. In each brief encounter with a casual acquaintance, shift

  all your attention on the other person. Instead of spending more

  time on networking, spend more energy.

  3) Network everywhere. When you’re in networking mode, it

  makes sense to vary your normal patterns and attend a wider

  variety of gatherings. But don’t think of networking occasions

  as special events that you attend once in a while for that single

  purpose. Successful networkers get around a lot, and they engage

  with others wherever they go. Every time you are out and about,

  whether it’s at a PTA conference or the gym, there’s a chance to

  meet somebody who could become a friend.

  4) Know that every person counts. The networker who comes

  across as slimy is the one who always tries to wriggle close to the

  most important person in the room. Classy networkers under-

  stand that every individual counts. And they all figure out that

  some of the junior staffers they treat with kindness this year may

  the real meaning of “networking” may surprise You

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  be buying their product or running their company some time

  down the road.

  5) Turn enemies into friends. It’s okay to approach folks who

  once were your career rivals. As time goes by, petty differences

  are often forgotten and shared experience becomes more impor-

  tant. A person you once regarded as an adversary may warmly

  greet you.

  6) Work the crowd in smart ways. Use these techniques for mak-

  ing a success of conferences and other events:

  ◆

  Put in face time. It may not feel worthwhile to attend

  meetings or parties where you don’t know anybody, but go

  anyway. In networking, over the long term, you get points

  for just being there. People get used to seeing you, and

  before you know it you’re part of the regular crowd.

  ◆

  Plan before you go. When you meet somebody at a pro-

  fessional event, they are likely to ask, “What do you do?”

  Before you take off to that conference, practice your “eleva-

  tor speech” so that you can quickly present the best version

  of your story. And have some questions in mind, so you

  can deftly refocus the attention on them. Your questions

  needn’t be job related. I used to play the game of seeing

  how many people I could get talking about their pets.

  ◆

  Take a few risks. Know that most people feel shy at least

  some of the time. So if nobody is speaking to you at an

  event, it might be because they don’t know what to say.

  Even if it makes you nervous, look for people who are

  standing or sitting alone and introduce yourself. Keep your

  list of questions in mind and accept the challenge of learn-

  ing about them. Here’s a moment to summon up a bit of

  your entrepreneurial spirit. If some stranger does reject you,

  just let it go; remind yourself that they don’t know you, and

  it’s probably about their problem, not yours.

  ◆

  Be willing to serve. If you want to attract friendly notice,

  watch out for opportunities to do some of the work associ-

  ated with the event. Conferences often give rise to follow-

  up tasks and membership options. So join committees, sign

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  up for mailing lists, and volunteer for assignments, even if

  it just means carrying out the coffee cups.

  ◆

  Follow up. When you do meet somebody interesting, find

  a way to stay in touch. Let them know you enjoyed the con-

  versation, send along information they might use, and sign

  up for their mailing lists. And whenever it seems appropri-

  ate, write “thank you” and congratulation notes.

  Are you ready to get out there and build your network? One way to begin

  is connecting with a broader range of your professional peers. Contemplate

  your Circles, and define goals for developing existing relationships or recruiting new ones.

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  what to say when

  Your work Is Praised

  I grew up believing the proper way to respond to a compliment was with mod-

  esty. If somebody said, “Great outfit,” my response was something like, “Oh,

  it was a bargain and I’ve had it for years.”

  As a young lawyer, if I worked long hours on a tough memo and a part-

  ner said, “You did a nice job,” I was inclined to answer in the same self-

  deprecating way. I’d belittle my efforts by saying something like, “No big

  deal” or “It was a team effort.”

  My typical response was wrong in so many ways. For one thing, it low-

  ered the partner’s assessment of the quality of my work. Instead of reading my mind and understanding that I’d struggled hard to produce a first-class draft, he might take me at my word and regard the project as not a big deal.

  Beyond that, when I deflected a compliment, I drained the energy from

  what should have been an enjoyable moment. The partner probably felt good

  as he approached me to offer praise. But then my response made him feel a bit let down, instead of more upbeat. I took the fun out of the exchange with my

  negative comment.

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  Not only was my response deflating to the partner, but it was also a missed

  opportunity for me. With my “no big deal” attitude, I denied myself some of

  the benefits a compliment can bring.

  It wasn’t until I became a manager that I understood how the compliment

  exchange should go. Both the recipient of
the praise and the person saying the nice things should end up feeling better after the conversation.

  To your brain, receiving a compliment is like getting a prize. Think of it

  as comparable to somebody giving you a little reward. And research suggests

  that you’ll perform even better after accepting a reward. So your first step after hearing a compliment is to pause for an instant, focus on the good wishes that accompany the complimentary words, and allow yourself to accept the full

  value of the message.

  Then, when you open your mouth to respond, you have two goals. First,

  reinforce the positive evaluation that led to the compliment. Second, make

  the giver-of-praise feel good, and thus more likely to offer you kudos the

  next time.

  Tips on accepting compliments on your work

  Once you understand what’s at play, it can be quite easy to learn how to gracefully deal with praise from your bosses and colleagues. With a little practice,

  you can master these five steps:

  1) Say “thanks.” Begin your response to a compliment by saying

  “thank you.” And sound like you mean it. Even if a little voice

  in your head says, “I don’t deserve it,” or “He doesn’t mean it,”

  ignore your doubt. Smile and express appreciation for the nice

  words.

  2) Show your pleasure at a job well done. It’s not vain to

  acknowledge satisfaction with your own good work. After say-

  ing “thanks,” you might extend the happy moment by adding a

  brief phrase like, “I’m proud of this one,” or “I’m so pleased that

  I could help.”

  3) Share the credit. You don’t want to deny your contribution.

  At the same time, you don’t want to hog the limelight if that

  wouldn’t be fair. If it truly was a team effort, spread the praise.

  Add a simple comment like, “I couldn’t have done it without

  Tom—he was terrific.”

  what to say when Your work Is Praised

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  4) Return the compliment. You can prolong the happy moment

  by offering a glowing remark in return. Say something like,

  “Your good advice made such a difference.” But this works only

  if your words are sincere. Fake praise can be just another way of

  deflecting a compliment.

  5) Keep it short. When the compliment exchange goes on too long

  it can become uncomfortable. If the flow of praise feels unend-

  ing, it’s okay to turn it off with a light remark like, “That’s enough

  now. You’re making me blush.”

  Manage your “impostor syndrome”

  Sometimes high achievers find it extremely difficult to hear praise, believ-

  ing they don’t really deserve it. If you feel like an imposter, and not really good enough to deserve such a lavish assessment, know that you’re not alone.

  A lot of amazingly successful professionals sometimes feel, deep inside, like imposters. Try to ignore your discomfort and accept the tribute gracefully.

  You might also explore these techniques for becoming more comfortable

  when your work gets rave reviews:

  → Set specific goals. If you define precise objectives, and your

  bosses agree to them, ultimately everybody will know whether

  you are successful. If you write down measurable goals, cre-

  ate an action plan for achieving them, and then follow the

  plan, your success will be hard to miss. You will find words of

  approval easier to accept when they clearly reflect the facts of

  what happened.

  → Ask for details. Sometimes positive sounding feedback doesn’t

  actually feel good because it seems vague or overblown. If you

  feel like you could have done much better, but they say “ter-

  rific job,” it is hard to know what’s really going on. If you have

  a good relationship with your boss, ask for a more specific cri-

  tique of various aspects of your accomplishments.

  → Calm your self-talk. Maybe the problem isn’t so much their

  lavish applause as it is the retort from that pesky voice inside

  your head. If your habitual response to praise is to tell yourself

  “You could have done better,” it’s no wonder that you don’t

  enjoy it. Notice your internal response to positive feedback, and

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  practice letting go of negative refrains and replacing them with

  phrases like, “It feels good when they recognize my hard work.”

  When you approach your work life like an independent entrepreneur, and

  accept responsibility like a CEO must, there’s a danger you may feel isolated.

  Part of the way you get past that is to learn how to easily accept and give

  feedback, not just within the chain of command but across a broader web of

  professional relationships.

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  give Positive

  feedback in

  smart ways

  the term “positivity” includes a range of thought patterns and emotions

  including joy, serenity, amusement, hope, and inspiration. In the last

  decade or so, scientists have begun to better understand how vital positivity is to the quality of your life. First, of course, it feels good, and it can have a big impact on the state of your physical and mental health. Beyond that, it actually changes how your mind works.

  From a leadership perspective, it’s important to understand the link

  between positivity and productivity. There’s no longer any doubt: Most people do their best work in an environment that’s predominately positive.

  It’s crucial to be able to discuss your team’s projects in an honest way, of

  course, and sometimes the news is bad. But the constructive approach is to

  focus criticism on the work product itself, rather than on the person. And

  when possible, the negative assessments should be framed within a generally

  positive dialogue.

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  The human brain tends to over focus on negative cues. This may be a

  result of evolution. Our ancestors, who were alert to threats like lurking animals, may have survived at a higher rate than their less aware peers, who died out. In today’s workplace, this tendency means that your colleagues probably

  over focus on negative feedback. On a day where half the boss’s comments

  are critical, they may go home feeling like they heard not a single kind word.

  Some research suggests that workers are most effective in an environment

  where about 80 percent of the feedback is positive. This is something not

  understood by Josh*, a client who was general counsel of a federal agency. He came to coaching after a staff survey suggested that many lawyers working for him felt under appreciated. They were disengaged, their morale was low, and

  they had real concerns about his leadership style.

  Josh’s initial reaction was defensive and disdainful. He said, “Grown-up

  lawyers shouldn’t expect to be thanked just for doing excellent work. They get paid, don’t they? And when I don’t comment, they should know everything is

  okay, because I always tell them when they screw up.”

  We spoke about the human need to be acknowledged and appreciated.

  And I pointed to numerous studies demonstrating that people will be more

  productive in a positive work environment.

  Eventually, Josh agreed to try an experiment. Every workday he put

  three coins in his po
cket. Each time he thanked or complimented a team

  member he could remove one coin. And he couldn’t go home until all three

  were gone. After the first week, Josh said he was enjoying the experiment

  more than he had expected. But he still felt awkward saying “good job” and

  “thanks,” so he looked for more occasions to practice. He found times to

  offer compliments and say “thank you” at home, in the local cafe, and wher-

  ever he went on the weekend.

  The more Josh practiced, the more comfortable he felt giving positive

  feedback. And he was having fun with it. “The amazing thing is not that

  it makes them happy, but that it makes me happy, too,” he said. Soon, he

  quit carrying the coins because he no longer needed them. Josh said he was

  addicted to his “thank you” habit, and it had changed the way he looked at

  several parts of his life.

  Well-crafted words of thanks and praise can serve as powerful positive

  reinforcement, guiding members of your team to achieve, change, and grow.

  By regularly thanking or acknowledging people for their work, you can help

  to shape a more positive and collaborative office culture, even if you’re not the boss.

  give Positive feedback in smart ways

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  Build your “thank you” habit into a

  powerful leadership tool

  There’s some art to giving feedback that motivates and empowers the recipi-

  ent. It has to be real and focused. Practice these eight tips for giving feed-

  back in a way that encourages people to do even better:

  1) Be sincere. Disingenuous flattery doesn’t work. It sounds creepy

  and seldom fools people—at least not for long. Get in touch with

  your sense of gratitude when you express thanks, and speak hon-

  estly about how you feel.

  2) Be specific. A vague, casual “thanks” isn’t nearly as effective as a more detailed comment. After saying “good work,” add more

  particulars such as, “I particularly appreciated the way you

  involved other team members.” Precise comments not only carry

  more impact, but also provide powerful reinforcement for the

  performance you want to encourage.

  3) Fully engage. Part of the power of saying “thank you” comes

  from the fact that you care enough to focus on another person.