Bittersweet

by Jannine Gallant

  “I forgot all about him.” Daniel whistled, and a minute later a muddy dog trotted up, tail waving.

  She couldn’t help laughing. “Have you ever seen anything so filthy?”

  “Not outside a pig sty. I’ll take him down to the creek and wash him off. Better a wet dog than a muddy one.”

  “Thank you, Daniel.”

  She settled against the wagon seat with Emily and drowsed in the warm sun.

  “You two make a pretty picture.”

  Tess opened her eyes, surprised by the unfamiliar voice. Nathan Swift stood below her, leaning against the side of the wagon.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you,” he said.

  “You didn’t.”

  “When I saw Daniel heading the other way with a muddy dog in tow, I decided to keep you company while you waited. We didn’t have a chance to talk before.”

  “No, we didn’t. How do you like our town?”

  “I definitely like what I see.” His eyes smiled straight into hers.

  Tess’s cheeks heated at his bold perusal. “Hank said you’re from back east.”

  “I move around a lot. What about you? Are you getting along all right, you and your little girl?”

  “We are. Aunt Fay is a tremendous help, and so is Daniel. We couldn’t survive on the farm without him.”

  “Sometimes I think the worst part of my job is seeing the tragedy men like Jack Craven leave in their wake.”

  She nodded. “Hank feels the same way. That’s the main reason he quit.”

  “I can’t say as I blame him. I sure appreciate the way he helped me settle in.”

  “Hank and Mary are both wonderful.” Though their conversation was innocuous, Tess felt bold talking to a man she didn’t know. Daring.

  “They are, but you’re the one I’m interested in knowing better. Are you and Daniel—” He stopped speaking as a wet dog raced up to his side, barking.

  “Hush, Shadow, you’ll wake Emily,” Tess scolded. “He certainly looks cleaner.” She smiled at Daniel.

  “It took some work, but he’ll pass. Hello, Nathan.”

  Swift stepped back from the wagon. “I won’t keep you folks. It was nice talking to you, Mrs. Moran.”

  “Tess, please, but what were you going to ask when Shadow interrupted?”

  “It wasn’t important.” He touched two fingers to the brim of his hat and sauntered off.

  Daniel climbed into the wagon. “What did he want?”

  “Nothing special.” Tess shifted over on the seat to make room for him and glanced back at Shadow. “You had yourself quite a day, didn’t you? You’re lucky you didn’t wake Emily, barking that way.”

  Shadow whined, and Tess patted his head. She forgot all about Nathan Swift as Daniel urged the horses away from the creek and turned them toward home.

  He stopped the wagon outside her kitchen door and jumped to the ground. “Do you want me to take Emily?”

  “No, I’m afraid she’ll wake. Just help me down, please.”

  He reached up, took her waist in a firm grasp, and slowly lowered her to the ground. As he held her loosely, his gaze met hers over Emily’s head.

  Tess’s heart beat faster, and her stomach fluttered. She cleared her throat and lowered her eyes, confused by her feelings. “I had a wonderful time today. Thank you for taking us, Daniel.”

  “Thank you for the delicious food. I’m still full from all those cookies.”

  She smiled. “How many did you eat, an even dozen?”

  “At least.” He stepped away and reached for the picnic basket. “If you want to put Emily to bed, I’ll bring in your things.”

  “Thank you. I’ll be back in a minute.”

  After laying Emily in her crib, she hurried down the stairs and found him in the kitchen putting away the remains of the food.

  “You didn’t have to do that.”

  “Yes, I did. Shadow would have eaten the last piece of chicken.”

  “He shouldn’t even be inside. You’re as softhearted as I am when it comes to that dog.”

  “Among other things. I should go, Tess. I have about a thousand chores to do at home.”

  Tess tucked her arm through his and walked him to the door. She didn’t want him to leave. Daniel stirred to life unexpected urges, emotions she didn’t fully understand. Maybe it was time to take a step back. “Will I see you tomorrow?”

  “Probably.” He kissed the top of her head just as she looked up. His lips brushed her nose. Her pulse raced out of control, and she let out a shuddering breath.

  He gave her a long look before turning away. The screen door swung quietly into place behind him.

  Chapter 4

  Tess stared in consternation out her bedroom window at the pouring rain. After May’s beautiful weather, June was a soggy disappointment. She would get soaked walking down to the creek, but she couldn’t put it off any longer. She pulled Rory’s old rain slicker from the back of the wardrobe and wrapped it around her dress. Leaving Emily in her crib, she headed downstairs.

  Fay sat at the kitchen table, drinking a cup of tea.

  “I’m going out to check the creek.” She stepped into her boots then pulled a wide brimmed hat off the hook on the back wall and tied it beneath her chin.

  “Oh, Tess, it’s pouring.”

  “I’m worried about how fast the creek is rising.”

  A gust of wind blew through the room when the kitchen door opened. “Going somewhere?” Daniel asked.

  She yanked off the hat. “Not anymore. How does the creek look?”

  “It’s close to overflowing. I’ll feed your chickens and be back in a minute.”

  Tess pulled off her boots, hung the slicker by the door, and smiled at her aunt. “Thank heaven for Daniel.”

  “He is a blessing,” Fay agreed. “Shall I pour you a cup of tea?”

  “Please. I’ll fetch Emily and be right back.”

  Once the baby was settled on a blanket with some spoons, Tess stoked the stove and joined her aunt at the table. Daniel returned a few minutes later.

  “I left my wet clothes on the porch.” He padded across the floor in his socks. “What’s cooking?”

  “There’s bean soup left over from dinner, and the kettle’s heating. Are you hungry?”

  “I never turn down your soup, Tess. It smells delicious.” He smiled at Fay and bent to talk to Emily while Tess dished up a bowl.

  “Does it look like the water will reach the house?” she asked.

  Daniel blew on a spoonful of soup to cool it. “I’m afraid so. As soon as I finish this, I’ll start moving furniture upstairs.”

  Tess sighed. “You were smart to build your house on a rise. Every time it rains, I think bad thoughts about the shortsighted homesteader who built this one. I bet they moved on because his wife couldn’t stand cleaning up the mess after every big storm.”

  His gaze met hers. “This is such a beautiful setting so close to the creek; I doubt he thought about anything else.”

  “Then he was a fool.” Fay rose from her chair. “I’ll pack our bags.”

  “Aunt Fay is right. Even the barn and chicken coop stay dry. It’s only the house that floods.”

  “You could always move in with me.”

  His words, spoken in jest, stole her breath. She bent to remove pots and pans from a low shelf. “Don’t joke, Daniel. I just might do it.”

  He pushed back his bowl and stood. “I’ll start in the other room while you work in here. Yell if you need a hand with anything.”

  “I won’t. I’ve learned not to put anything really heavy on the lower shelves to make this job easier.”

  They worked steadily for over an hour before Tess took a break to feed Emily. When she finished, she fixed Daniel a cup of tea and brought it to the front room.

  “Thank you.” He took a sip from the steaming cup.

  “Emily is ready for her nap. I’m finished in the kitchen, and Aunt Fay has our clothes packed. How much more is there to do in
here?”

  “I’m about done. If Emily can wait a little longer, she can sleep at my house.”

  She glanced at him in surprise. “I’ll put her down for a nap when we get to town.”

  “You don’t want to stay with me?”

  Tess hesitated. The thought of sleeping under the same roof with Daniel unnerved her. “I don’t want to put you out. My parents will be pleased to have us.”

  He frowned. “You always stayed with me before.”

  “Yes, but that was when Rory—” Her voice trailed off. She swallowed, missing Rory fiercely. “I don’t want to be a burden.”

  “You’re not a burden. If you want to stay with your folks, we’ll drive to town.”

  She paused in the doorway, wondering at his tone. “What’s wrong, Daniel?”

  “Nothing. Get Emily while I roll up these rugs.”

  “You sound upset.”

  “I’m not. If you’d rather not stay with me, it’s perfectly understandable.”

  She waited until he raised his eyes. Their gazes locked. “I’m not sure how Aunt Fay feels, and Emily and I certainly can’t stay with you without a proper chaperone.”

  “You’re worried about what people will say?”

  She shrugged. “I don’t go out of my way to provide fodder for the local gossips.”

  “Oh.”

  “What did you think?”

  “It doesn’t matter.”

  She lifted her chin. “It does to me.”

  He looked away. “I thought maybe you were nervous about spending the night alone with me.”

  Tess laughed. “I imagine you can find the willpower to resist my charms.” He certainly never gives me a reason to believe otherwise. The thought stung.

  “Talk to your aunt. We’ll get soaked driving to town in this rain.”

  “Fine.”

  He bent to roll up the front room rug, and Tess headed up the stairs. Fifteen minutes later she shut the kitchen door behind them and dashed across the muddy yard to the wagon.

  “It’s all right, Emily,” she crooned when the baby started to cry. “You’ll have your nap in a few minutes.”

  “Is she getting wet?” Daniel asked.

  “No, she’s just tired, and she doesn’t much like being covered by the blanket.”

  “How about you, Fay?”

  “I’m fine, Daniel. Thank you for taking us in. I wasn’t relishing the drive into town.”

  “I’m happy to have you, and I’m glad we left when we did. Look at the creek.”

  Tess stared down at Eagle Creek, usually such a source of enjoyment. Today muddy water spilled over the top of its banks, carrying all manner of debris in the strong current.

  “The house is going to be a mess.”

  “It’s no trick to clean it up. Don’t worry about it.”

  “I’m not.” She shrugged. “At least it only floods once or twice a year.”

  Daniel drove the wagon up close to the back door and helped Fay and Tess down from the seat. “Make yourselves at home. I’ll do the chores before I come in, so I may be a while. I’ll keep Shadow with me.”

  Tess nodded. Clutching Emily in one arm and her bag in the other, she raced to the house. She stopped just inside the door to take off her coat then carried Emily upstairs. The baby was half asleep when she laid her on the bed in one of the spare rooms. She surrounded her with pillows and went downstairs to help her aunt start supper.

  It was getting late, and Daniel would be hungry when he finished his chores. She was determined not to cause him any extra work. Pork chops sizzled on the stove, and Tess set a stack of plates on the table when Daniel entered the kitchen.

  “It smells good in here. I could get used to this.” He hung his wet coat up to dry and sat to tug off his boots. Padding across the room in his socks, he sniffed the contents of the various pans simmering on the stove.

  “Pork chops and mashed potatoes are my favorites.”

  “There are green beans and tomatoes, too. I hope you don’t mind us taking over your kitchen,” Fay said.

  “Mind? I’m thrilled. Where’s Emily?” he asked, glancing at Tess.

  “She’s still asleep. Now that you’re back, I’ll go wake her. Everything should be ready in a few minutes.”

  Emily sat up on the bed when Tess entered the room. She smiled and pounded the pillow in front of her with her fists.

  “What a good girl.” Tess picked her up and kissed the top of her head. “Mama didn’t even know you were awake.” After quickly changing her diaper, she carried her downstairs.

  Fay placed bowls of food on the table. Daniel set down a jar of applesauce and ran his finger across Emily’s soft cheek.

  “Hello, sugarplum. I’m sorry I don’t have a highchair for you.”

  “I’ll just hold her.”

  Sitting at the table with Daniel across from her, spooning food into Emily’s mouth, her heart swelled. It was almost as if they were a family. The thought warmed her. She missed having a man at her table, someone with whom to discuss her day. Of course her feelings for Rory had been entirely different than the friendship she shared with her brother-in-law, but those feelings were changing. At times when she looked at Daniel, she saw the man he was, someone more than just a friend. She wondered if he felt the same way.

  “Do I have gravy on my nose?” he asked.

  “I’m sorry. Was I staring?” She glanced away. Picking up a cloth, she wiped Emily’s face and set the squirming baby on the floor.

  “You looked as if you’d had a revelation.” Fay patted her lips and set her napkin on the table. “If you don’t mind washing up alone, Tess, I think I’ll go to my room and lie down. I have a bit of a headache.”

  “Of course I don’t mind. Can I bring you anything?”

  “No, I’m just tired. It’s been an exhausting day.”

  “Yes, it certainly has,” she agreed. “Goodnight, Aunt Fay. Sleep well.”

  After the older woman left the room, Daniel turned to Tess. “What were you thinking about a minute ago? You had the strangest look on your face.”

  “Nothing in particular.”

  He shook his head. “You shouldn’t lie like that right in front of your daughter,” he teased.

  “All right, I was thinking about us here together in your house. It feels pretty nice.”

  “It does, doesn’t it?” He stared at her across the table, and slowly his smile faded.

  “What?” she asked.

  “Do you want the truth?”

  “Of course I do.”

  “When I look at you and Emily, my heart aches because I know it shouldn’t be me in this chair. It should be Rory.”

  Tears sprang to her eyes. “Don’t, Daniel. Rory’s gone, and we’re not. We can’t change the past. We can only make the best of the future.”

  “You’re right. I know you’re right. I didn’t mean to upset you.” He rose from the table.

  “I’m not upset, but I wish you’d stop blaming yourself for what happened.”

  “I can’t help it. I let him down. I didn’t back him up the way he asked. I failed my brother.”

  “It’s not your fault. Jack Craven is to blame. Rory, too, for that matter. He should have had more sense than to challenge an outlaw.”

  Daniel’s fingers tightened on the chair back. “I didn’t stop him. Somehow, I should have stopped him.”

  “No one could change Rory’s mind once it was made up. You know it as well as I do. I don’t blame you, so why should you blame yourself?”

  He didn’t answer. He carried his plate to the dishpan and stared out at the rain-drenched night. He jumped when Tess touched his arm.

  “Let it go, Daniel.”

  “I’ll try.” Clearing his throat, he turned. “Why don’t you do whatever it is you need to with Emily while I clean the kitchen?”

  “I don’t need to do anything with her. It’s her playtime. You keep her company while I wash the dishes.”

  “You cooked,” he
protested.

  “Aunt Fay did most of the cooking. Anyway, you moved my furniture all afternoon. Don’t argue, Daniel.” She pushed him toward the door. “Take your niece and go.”

  He left, and she made short work of cleaning the kitchen. Pausing with the dishrag in her hand, she wondered why Daniel felt responsible for Rory’s death. She supposed anyone in his place might feel some guilt, but surely he should have come to terms with those feelings after all these months. She squeezed out the rag and hung it up to dry. She had her own grief to work through. She couldn’t take on Daniel’s as well. He would have to find his own peace.

  She emptied the dishpan out the back door and noticed the rain was easing. After removing her apron, she blew out the lamp on the kitchen table and headed toward the front room. She stopped just inside the doorway and smiled.

  Daniel was on his hands and knees, building a tower out of blocks. He stacked up three blocks, and Emily knocked them down, laughing as they fell.

  “You think that’s funny, do you?” he asked. “How about this? Is this funny?” Rolling Emily onto her back, he tickled her tummy. The baby shrieked with laughter.

  Tess stepped into the room. “You two look like you’re having fun.”

  “We certainly are.” Daniel glanced up from where he lay sprawled on the floor and smiled. “All finished in the kitchen?”

  She nodded and sat next to them on the rug. Emily held out her arms, and Tess scooped her up.

  “Is your uncle wearing you out so you’ll sleep soundly?”

  “I’m doing my best.” He rolled onto his back and put his hands beneath his head. With a sigh, he closed his eyes. “But I think it’s the other way around.”

  With his eyes shut, Tess was free to study him. His chest beneath his old blue work shirt moved up and down with his even breathing, and she knew the exact moment he went from resting to sleeping. He looked so vulnerable lying there. With her eyes, she traced the lines of fatigue and worry etched into his face. A fierce protective urge welled inside her. She wished somehow to ease his troubles. Instead, she contributed to them.

  Emily babbled happily. Not wishing to disturb Daniel, she rose to her feet and took the baby upstairs. After changing her daughter’s diaper and dressing her in a nightgown, she settled down in the rocker to nurse her. It wasn’t long before Emily fell asleep. She laid her in the bed and then quietly left the room.