So, You Want to Live Past Next Tuesday

by Billy Bob Richardson

  “Thanks, I really appreciate the thought Ivan, but I’ll be fine. I don’t like assholes much, and I am feeling a little mean about now, so if I have to shoot them it might make me feel better.”

  Just for a second the thought ran through Madd’s mind, I wonder how close to true that is?

  “Al, we’ll be leaving here tomorrow night, headed over to central Florida to hook up with some of our family. There are a bunch of them. They wanted to do the theme parks, see Disney World and all the rest while there is time. Why don’t you come meet us the day after tomorrow for dinner? I want you to meet our uncle Roy,” invited Madd. “Here is my number, call if you can come and we will set up a time.”

  “I have some things to do Madd, but I should be able to make that. I’ll give you a call around 2pm so we can get on the same page.”

  Chapter 2

  Fort Wilderness Pool

  “Uncle Roy, this is Al,” said Madd.

  With a smile Roy gave Al a big howdy and handshake. “Heard a bit about you.”

  “Don’t believe everything you hear, Roy.” That caused some laughter.

  “The boys told me who you say you are, they also told me who they believe you to be. Maybe not who, but what.”

  Said in his best salesman’s voice: “Roy, I am just a working stiff, trying to recruit a talented work force in out of the way places.”

  “I understand Al, I do. I will keep that thought foremost in my mind. I am not going to ask you to confirm or deny anything! Let me introduce you around to the family. We are going to sort of be on our own for part of the time. Madd and the boys are making up for lost time with their girls. Don’t worry if you don’t remember all the names, there are quite a few of us here.”

  After twenty minutes of wandering around the pool area meeting family member after family member, Al was almost numb from the names and the ‘this is cousin, uncle, aunt, and brother, sister so and so’.

  “You’re beginning to look a little glazed there, Al.”

  “I guess I am, Roy. How many of your family are here?”

  “Counting the little kids, around 77.”

  “Holy cow, it must be costing a fortune. Whoops, sorry about that, none of my business.”

  Roy just smiled.

  “No problem, Al. I don’t like to think of what we are spending, to be frank. We decided to bring everyone that wanted to come, who either hasn’t been here before or hasn’t been here since they were kids. We wanted them to have good memories of their family having a great time. Let’s take a seat and chat some.”

  Before Roy could say much more a very attractive woman in her mid to late twenties walked up and asked if they wanted something to drink.

  “Thank you Rose, I will have plain soda, how about you, Al? Al? Yo, Al.”

  “Yes, what ah... what did you say, Roy?”

  “Rose was asking if you wanted something to drink.”

  “Yes please, a bottled water.”

  Coming right up, they were told. All Al could do was watch her walk away with his mouth open until he realized what he was doing. He gave Roy a guilty look and a shrug.

  “Don’t worry Al, she has that effect on most men.”

  “I’m real sorry Roy. I shouldn’t have been staring. I probably looked like a mindless idiot.”

  “You did, but not to worry, it happens to all of us at one time or another.”

  “Who was that, Roy?”

  “That was Rose Marie, she keeps an eye on me to make sure I have what I need. Why she thinks I need a keeper I can’t say Al, but she is very sweet and I just let her do her thing.”

  “Oh my word, she is beautiful, and that hair, it is past her... Ah, sorry, Roy. No disrespect meant, I shouldn’t be drooling like a fool about new friends.” His voice changed and he sounded a little panicky. “Tell me I wasn’t just ogling someone’s wife.”

  Roy just laughed. “It’s OK, don’t worry about it.”

  He remembered back when he was Al’s age, the joy of meeting a special woman, and the shortness of breath just looking at her caused him.

  “Wait, Roy, is she married?” Al was beginning to sound rattled.

  “No, her man died a little less than a year ago.”

  “Sorry for your loss, Roy.”

  “Hmmm, you don’t sound all that sorry, Al.”

  Still trying to get a grip on his breathing all Al could get out was, “No, really, I am.”

  “To clear the air, she was in a relationship with a very fine man who died. We miss him every day, but what is, is. Rose isn’t with anyone and hasn’t declared for anyone yet, so she is available if she wants to be. Totally her call.”

  “Great, that is just great, Roy.”

  “Something else you should know, Al. Rose won’t say much about it, but she is an educated woman. She has several degrees, one in computer science. She even attended one of the most prestigious Cordon Bleu schools in the world. She also spent a year and a half working in one of the more famous restaurants in Las Vegas. She is easy going and soft spoken, but never doubt she is sharp as a tack. She may lower her eyes and have a humble demeanor around the family, but show her a lack of respect and you will have to be fast on your feet or wake up on the ground. Oh, and she is a crack shot with a rifle.”

  It took a few seconds for Al to digest what Roy had said. Usually he was a fast thinker, able to make decisions on the fly. For some reason Rose left his mind a bit confused. Finally after digesting what Roy had said, one word popped out at him. Declared?

  “Roy, you lost me on that declared thing.”

  Rose was walking back with the drinks and Al realized he was staring yet again. Gracefully she knelt down and offered them their drinks. Accepting his, Al almost dropped it because he was paying more attention to her than what he was holding.

  “Rose, this is Al, the one Madd told us about. Did you hear the story?”

  “Yes sir, I did. It is my pleasure to meet you Al; the War Council speaks highly of you.”

  “My pleasure Rose, my great pleasure, really.”

  For some reason he was having trouble controlling his voice. Must be getting a cold. He definitely had a slight stutter in his voice. This brought a faint smile to Rose’s lips.

  “Rose, seems Al is quite taken with your appearance and has asked if you are available. I explained your situation. Since he knows nothing about how men and women get together in our family, why don’t you give me a few minutes to fill him in on some things?”

  “Yes sir. I will tell one of the other girls to be ready if you should need anything.” With a smile, she added, “One of the girls who is taken.”

  The last part of that statement might have been lost on Al, but wasn’t on Roy. Seems she must like what she had heard and what she saw.

  “Roy I knew I was missing something with the guys before, now I seem to missing several things here as well. Why is she so willing to let you speak for her, and who and or what is a War Council?”

  “I understand you might have many questions Al. Some I will not be able to answer. The cousins like you, Al. They liked you enough to invite you to a family gathering. I am going to say a lot more to you because of that, than I would say to most men. They have already explained something of how our family was structured way back when. You asked about Rose. I will give you a couple quick examples of the way things are in the family.”

  “When our forefathers came to this country with their wives and fought in the Revolutionary War, one of our direct ancestors had brothers. One brother was killed in the war, so his wife was left a widow. As was common in those days our ancestor moved his brother’s wife into his household to keep her from becoming destitute.

  “What was not quite so common was that she became his second wife, not legally, but in fact. As the family grew and expanded it became more and more common for the men to marry one woman and take a second or third into his family.

  “Large farms took a lot of workers, and they needed enough sons and daughters
to work the land. At some point early on marriages became less important, while relationships based on compatibility and the skills one could bring to the relationship became more important. A piece of paper issued by the government didn’t guarantee success. Commitment to creating a workable family had better statistics. The men who worked their various businesses were encouraged to do the same. Father to son, father to son this continued until it got to my great grandfather’s father. Actually, my grandfather [RF1] is still alive. He is ninety-seven, his mind is still clear, although he doesn’t get around as well these days.

  “He and his father and his father were progressive cattleman and bred their herds to get the best possible results. His father’s father decided to take what had started years before to a whole new level. He took what he knew about breeding and used it to improve the family. He wanted to get big, strapping, intelligent ranch hands or farmers, and quick-witted women to complement the family endeavors.

  “What other motivations he might have had I can’t say, Al. The family was considered prosperous and well off for the times so he had no problem finding willing members. He looked at people’s families, looked at their forefathers and decided on what he considered some fine ‘breeding stock’. His words, not mine. He avoided any family with genetic problems like diabetes, etc. That was the start of our modern day family. He took what that first relative started back in Revolutionary days and added as much science to breeding his family as he could for the times. His brothers and associates did the same, with his guidance. Their sons continued. They were careful to bring in only ‘healthy breeders’. Again, their words, not mine. As you might imagine it got complicated fairly fast.

  “As modern science got better and better, they made lists of acceptable couples. Males and females were encouraged to select from those lists. Didn’t always happen, of course, but when some of the choices those folks made on their own turned out badly, the family started to adhere to the list fairly closely. Those bad choices were never bred back into the family.

  “When I was a young man, there were a couple of girls in my school who would say, ‘I can fall in love with a rich man just as easily as a poor man, so I am going for the rich one’. We are fairly certain that great, great, granddaddy felt the same, only he would have said good breeding stock instead of rich.

  “Al, are you familiar with the way the Japanese have been packed together for centuries on their islands and yet have managed to keep a more or less polite society? Millions of them living on islands that were extremely crowded?”

  “I’ve read about that a little, Roy.” Japan? Where was this nice older guy headed?

  “Sociologists say that their custom of being overly polite, the bowing and being deferential has allowed them to maintain a level of civility. Otherwise their society would have devolved into chaos centuries ago.”

  “That was what I understood from what little reading I have done on the subject,” Al admitted.

  “You asked about Rose’s willingness to let me speak for her. Would it be better for you to know nothing about relationships in our family and let you make social blunders? Or would it be better for you to understand what you would be getting into? She has a mind and a will of her own. She is intelligent and has opinions. However, to live in a family with her man and two or three other women she has to have a similar mindset to the Japanese. She is polite, and shows it by her willingness to allow you to understand us better. Conversely she expects me to do my part and act correctly. I mentioned her demeanor around family members. That does not extend to the general public, I assure you.

  “I must accept her politeness as my due, but I must always be scrupulous in my treatment of her. There is an underlying give and take, of each person playing their part. We work hard at avoiding the types of behavior that tear families apart.

  “If you examine families you will find that in many, behavior that would never be tolerated by outsiders is put up with. Family members telling lies, or borrowing money they never intended to repay. Hurtful gossip, factual or not, is practiced. Because they are family many believe that there is no way around this, that they must accept such behavior.

  “We believe the opposite. Family should stick together and play fair with each other. Work things out. Those who cannot be honest and worthwhile with other family members are not tolerated. They are not invited to family functions. They are not lent money. They are not included in the long term survival efforts of the family.”

  “Roy, I don’t know what to say. I am having a hard time getting my head around this. Somehow, the way you folks have your family structured seems wrong to me.”

  “I am sure it does, Al. However, it is our family and if you will do me the courtesy of keeping your judgments to yourself until you know us better, I will keep mine of you to myself.

  “No one forces a member of the family, Rose or any other, to stay in the family. It is the easiest thing in the world to get out. What is hard is staying in! You have to want to stay, be willing to work hard enough to be counted as a family member. Far from being encouraged to stay, those who don’t care for our lifestyle, are encouraged to leave. We have even helped financially to get them set up in another lifestyle. Rose chose her relationship with her former man. Our main goal is to weed out those who would cause disruptions.

  “As I recall, she declared for him and was accepted by him. She also picked at least one of the other girls of the household herself and presented her as someone she wanted in the relationship. It was at her own instigation and desire. Not his.”

  “What about her feelings, Roy? Surely she has hurt feelings when she sees her man taking another woman to bed for sex?”

  “You are assuming that she isn’t taking that same girl or another girl of the household to bed when her man takes the third girl to bed.”

  “What? I mean…” Al could barely think what to say. “So, you are saying she is bisexual?”

  “No, not at all, I am saying she is sexual; her choice of a sex partner is her own, as long as it is inside the relationship. I guess I should apologize Al, I shouldn’t have told you she was not taken. She isn’t in the sense you think of it, but she does have two other females in her family and a solid commitment to the whole family as well. So in some ways she is taken, so to speak.”

  The thought crossed Roy’s mind that Al seemed like a nice guy, and the cousins liked the way he handled himself, but maybe trying to let him know the family was a mistake.

  Al’s mind was swirling. “I am going to put all that on the back burner. I need time to think through all that you just told me.”

  “Understandable, Al. I will mention this one additional thing to you. She is an attractive and very valuable person. I can assure you if she doesn’t declare for a man soon, men on the opposing list will begin to negotiate for her. If you prefer the old-fashioned vernacular, court her. Just keep in mind she is available right now, but she is a fine catch and that won’t last long.”

  “You mentioned this declare thing before, what is that all about? Are you referring to the list of genetically acceptable partners?”

  “Yes and no. Declaring is simple. As a girl reaches an age to be interested in men and forming a relationship, she looks around at the choices and decides who she has feelings for. Of course he has to be on the list of acceptable blood lines for it to work out.

  “She then would come to the elders, such as myself, and ‘declare’ who she is interested in. Many girls have friends or know of someone they believe would make a valuable asset to the relationship. Many have followed complementary educational paths that they believe will strengthen their immediate family. If that girl would like to join her in her choice, she comes in as well. Many times girls will form a relationship that they feel is strong with others who have diverse educational backgrounds. They almost always have a specific male they are attracted to in mind to join them.

  “Here is where the lists come into play. We keep a mass of genetic details of who is re
lated to who and how closely, so that we avoid inbreeding unwanted, destructive traits, or create health issues. It has become very complicated and detailed so most folks just call it the ‘list’. It’s all done with computers these days, of course.

  “The lists are available for anyone to study. After consulting the lists and finding out that the man she was interested in was correct genetically, she would come to the council and declare for that man. We would check the lists to make sure the match was in fact a correct one. With it being in our hands she would leave and in a day or two the family council would ask the man to come in for a chat. We would talk to him about the girl and see if he had any interest in pursuing the matter. If he wasn’t interested at all, then he would leave and a few days later we would have the girl in and tell her the results. If a girl is turned down flat it is never mentioned, and our men are very good about not talking out of turn. In all the years I have headed up the declaration committee no girl who was turned down has ever had her name leak out.

  “Saying a girl ‘looks around and decides who she has feelings for’ makes it sound as if she were choosing randomly, just anyone around. That isn’t the case. We are a social family, and get together often. The young people have known each other for years, or more likely their whole lives. In many cases they have been schooled together, and even worked on various projects together. Frankly, our average young woman knows more about the young men she is choosing from than any group in history. Not only that, she is better educated and more knowledgeable about world events.”

  “I can see I have a lot to learn, Roy. There is something that stands out in my mind that you mentioned. You say turned down flat. Is there another way to be turned down?”

  “Al, you really aren’t going to like this one. The man might have conditions under which he would accept her declaration.”

  “Like what, Roy?”

  “If he has feelings for the girl and is interested in forming a relationship, he might have an idea how to form a stronger relationship. He might want her to consider bringing along someone who he felt would strengthen the relationship. This is the same thing I told you about girls bringing in someone they felt would make for a good relationship. It would have to be someone he found at least as interesting as the girl who was declaring, of course.”