NEARLY Trilogy

by Ashley, Devon

  I kept walking through the living room which continued to sicken me more as my eyes took it all in. The interior was so shabby chic I wanted to vomit all over the pristine gray weathered hardwood floor. The walls were painted gray to match and the exposed beams on the ceiling had been sanded and white-washed. Everything in between was white and looked utterly uncomfortable. Prissy little lace or ruffled pillows. Antique furniture that I wouldn’t trust to hold his weight, let alone mine. Doilies under the scattered flower arrangements, which by the smell of it, were very real. This jackass probably went to the local farmer’s market every weekend to buy them. The only thing masculine in the entire room was the dark gray ornate furnace that sat in the corner, its thick pipe disappearing into the ceiling.

  A half wall gave a partial view of the kitchen, which was also in shades of white and gray. The cabinets had scalloped edge work and drawers that seemed more appropriate for an apothecary dispensary than a kitchen. Beyond the large window behind the farmer-styled dinner table, sat a small pasture that was lush with green grass and picturesque heavenly mountains in the distance. And I swear to God, something white and fluffy was grazing out in the back of the field. Like a llama or something.

  When my eyes couldn’t bear any more of the Twilight Zone, I turned to face the men behind me, arms already crossing in a defensive manner.

  Detective Menlow, the man who drove me here, was blocking the closed front door with his body, his hands fisted together in front of his hips. Zander was leaning against the lone beam that shot vertical for support, because quite frankly, I had doubts there was a single piece of furniture he trusted enough to actually sit on.

  With a half-cocked smile, he said, “Welcome, Natalie. To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?”

  I bit down hard on my teeth. The fucker was still calling me Natalie. “Why are you living in this dollhouse? You look ridiculous.”

  “I’m surprised you care how I look.”

  “I don’t,” I rebutted quickly.

  “I’m turning over a new leaf,” he replied nonchalantly, looking all too sweet and innocent for the man he really was.

  Already tired of the nonsense commentary, I bluntly replied, “You know why I’m here.”

  “Yet you’re not searching my house. Surprising, since you had no problem pushing your way in.”

  As if he truly cared. “Why would I bother? Not that I think you have her, but even if you did, you sure as hell wouldn’t stash her here in this godawful furnished rental. Tell me, did the clothes come with it?” I mocked.

  With an amused smile, he replied, “They’re of my own choosing.”

  “Well, then at least you finally look like the creep you are.”

  Zander pushed himself off the beam and slowly walked towards me. Menlow budged from his spot in response, suspicious of Zander’s intentions, but my body remained stoic. My insides were fighting me on it though, basically screaming that I should be in movement too, keeping the space between us as large as possible. Maybe I wasn’t as brave as I thought I was. I pushed the queasiness back, trying to hide my swallow as I held my breath.

  “Actually, the women around here love me. See all those pastries?” he asked, pointing past me and into the kitchen. “That’s nothing. My freezer is full of casseroles.”

  I fought the urge to turn and look, more focused on the man before me who once kept me behind locked doors. He was so close I could smell the strong scent of lilacs in his clothing. I looked him up and down, and with a disgusted look, told him, “Your clothes, that scent of softener on your clothing…” My eyes swept across the room next. “This whole place…” I turned my gaze back to him, meeting those deep hazel eyes hard on. “…it’s all so nauseating.”

  “Alas, love,” he teased, “your sweet pillow talk will get you nowhere while we have a guest in the room.” My head tilted in a way to say as if, which he completely ignored. “Now, if you’d like to have a conversation with me pertaining to the real reason why you’re here, all you have to do is send him away. Otherwise, I have nothing to say on the matter and you can show yourself out.”

  Zander pushed past me then, heading into the kitchen.

  I stood there debating as tiny shivers erupted, chilling my spine. Be alone with him? I wasn’t sure what my body was thinking right now. I might’ve been able to look brave on the outside but my insides were beginning to rip apart at every muscular fiber.

  Kind of like Nick.

  Could I even be alone with him? With the same man who had manipulated me in every way possible, humiliated me endlessly, forced me to do what I did, forced me to feel things that were completely shame-worthy? With the same man who always won, no matter the game?

  As angry as I was over my sister’s disappearance, I questioned if the extent of my bravery was hinged to the man standing guard at the door. And I already knew how well Nick was going to take it if I agreed to this.

  I closed my eyes and drew in a slow, silent breath, trying to settle what nerves were firing.

  I could do this. I could... Zander wouldn’t try anything here. He knew he was under surveillance, and as fucked up as his actions had been in the past, he’d never been suicidal or homicidal.

  You’re safe here, I told myself, thinking it repeatedly in an effort to convince myself. For Thea.

  When I opened my eyes, they found the dark brown set of Detective Menlow. He was already shaking his head slowly, firmly, with a stern look that backed it up.

  “I’m not asking for your permission,” I said boldly. “You can still watch us through the window.

  “Right, Zander?” I said loudly, waiting for confirmation.

  “Sure,” he replied with a bored voice from the kitchen.

  I tipped my head at the detective and cocked my eyebrows. See?, my body told him, which he still didn’t appreciate. “I’ll be fine,” I added. “Just give me a few minutes.”

  “Fine,” he muttered sharply. Before he even closed the door behind him he was already relaying something into the mic he was wearing. Nick’s body came to life when I didn’t follow. Even though Nick wasn’t trying to push past him with any real force, Detective Menlow physically put his hands on Nick’s shoulders, holding him back.

  I better hurry…

  I stepped up to the half wall and leaned over the counter that stood firmly between me and the kitchen. Zander was tossing an apple between his hands as he paced around. “Come in,” he ordered, his voice becoming more authoritative now that we were alone.

  “No.”

  My response made him pause, snatching the apple in his left hand as he turned my way.

  “I’m not comfortable being out of sight.” Not to mention there’d be no way of stopping Nick from rushing that door if he lost line of sight.

  “I see,” he replied. Keeping his eyes on mine, he slowly strode toward me, finally leaning over the opposite side of the counter. His eyes were a cool green, not at all like that fiery gold his hazel eyes liked to take on when he was feeling mischievous. The apple crunched and made a sucking-popping noise when he bit into it. His eyes wandered past me. Surely it was Nick that made his smile lift upward on the left. “I see you’re still with Little Boy Blue.”

  “Where’s my sister?” I demanded, ignoring his jab.

  He blinked and suddenly his eyes were back in line with mine. His face was only three feet away, and with his hand and the apple blocking everything from the nose down, I could almost understand why women found him alluring. You know…if he hadn’t ever locked me away or manipulated me into the worst things possible.

  “I don’t know, but I suppose I could find out where Friggs is holding up.” He took another bite of the forbidden fruit, awaiting my response.

  “What’s the price?”

  “Well,” he replied, standing erect, “it’s not an easy task. People from that world are aware of what I’ve done. No one has moved on me because I’ve chosen to live out in the open for all the world to see.”

  �
��You mean for the police to see.”

  “Absolutely.” His fucking eyes actually twinkled when he smiled. “I love that they’re keeping me under surveillance. Giving the authorities information on Friggs has made me a target. The surveillance keeps them from striking. Now I still have some loyal associates who would aid my search, but if I were to go looking around for Friggs, I’d have to be extremely careful about it. Poking the wrong bear would get me ripped to shreds. And it certainly wouldn’t do your sister any favors if he has her.”

  “Again, what’s the price?” I demanded.

  His tongue slowly swiped across his upper teeth and around his mouth while he thought – or more likely, played with my patience. He leaned over the counter again, setting his fruit aside. I caught another whiff of his clothing. Usually he wore nothing, but that floral softener was as sickly sweet as his goody-two-shoes appearance.

  “If you want me to find out where Friggs is holding up, then you have to live with me while I do it.”

  We exchanged deadpan expressions. He probably thought I was freaking out on the inside, but truthfully, I didn’t feel a damn thing right now. I wasn’t completely sure what he’d ask of me, but I knew him well enough to not be surprised by his condition.

  “If I agree to this, I’m not agreeing to being your prisoner. I’m free to make my own choices and free to keep in contact with whom I choose.” Firmly, I added, “And I’m not sleeping with you either.”

  His head tipped slightly. “Didn’t say you had to.”

  My head tipped the other way. He’d never said I had to before either, but his manipulations always got what he wanted.

  I leaned boldly over the counter, knowing full well it would bring our heads within a foot of one another. “Fine. Because you know what? I’m not scared of you anymore,” I told him fearlessly, finally beginning to feel it as truth since I got here.

  “My darling, Natalie. Whatever makes you think I’d want you to be scared of me these days?”

  I flashed him a fake smile. “And another thing. You don’t get to call me Natalie anymore.”

  “Tell her this is a horrible idea,” Nick begged of Detective Menlow with frustration. He wasn’t getting anywhere with me, so it was time to drag in the third party listening in.

  Menlow pulled the vehicle over onto an aged concrete pad on the side of the road, its once sturdy surface cracked and invaded with weeds. He shifted the car into park before twisting to face us. Nick was flushed and fidgety, shaking his head and looking out the window, practically gnawing on his fist. But I caught the detective’s eyes head on. It surprised me how calm I was, how accustomed I’d become to Nick’s reactions every time I told him I wanted to do something he didn’t approve of. Guess I expected this, because I wasn’t even affected by it. My mind was still set on agreeing to Zander’s terms.

  “It is a horrible idea,” he confirmed. Nick was just about to open his mouth when the detective finished with, “but probably not the worst one we could come up with.”

  “No, that would be the one she threatened O’Neill with about smearing herself all over social media.”

  My eyes narrowly cut towards Nick. “It got me what I wanted, didn’t it?” I sassed.

  “Yeah, it did,” he bit back. “And it’s obvious you’re going to continue doing what you want no matter how stupid it is or how badly you’re putting yourself in harm’s way.”

  I growled under my breath and faced forward, working my jaw. I won’t lie, that cut deep. “If you’ve got a better way of finding Thea then speak up now,” I challenged.

  My eyes jumped towards Detective Menlow, who was watching Nick. After a moment of silence, he told Nick, “We can tag her. And we already have eyes across the street. I’m sure if she went through with this we could get the approval for more surveillance.”

  “It won’t matter how much surveillance you have on her. If he wants to slip away with her, he will. The bastard will get off on doing it right under your nose.”

  “How can you tag me?” I asked curiously. “What do you have access to? Can he find it?”

  “Possibly,” he admitted. “But he already knows we’ll have agents following your every move, so he might not bother to check.”

  “The fuck he won’t,” Nick muttered.

  “What about the one that was pulled out of me?”

  I could feel the heat of Nick’s glare beside me, his anger growing with intensity. “Are you fucking nuts? You are! No fucking way you’re putting the one Friggs put in you back in! It’s a goddamn red flag! Come and get me!”

  Detective Menlow put his hand in the air to tell him to stop, then looked to me. “Nick’s right. Bad idea.”

  “Bad idea?” I scoffed. “That tracker has been inactive for months. No one’s going to be checking it anymore.”

  Nick sputtered, but Menlow cut him off again. “We don’t know how to access its information anyway. If we tag you, it won’t be something that goes inside your body. We just don’t have the funds for that.”

  A breath of air forced its way past my closed lips. Going in was one thing, but going in without significant trackers was another. Last thing I wanted was to be forced into Zander’s care without a rope to pull me back out. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized Friggs’ tracker was a bad idea. I wasn’t interested in being the bait to draw him out. But this was the only way moving forward, because I didn’t believe for one second that Thea was anything but abducted. So if I had to go in with regular trackers, so be it.

  For Thea.

  “You promise you can keep eyes on me?”

  “We’ve already got several trackers in place. His shoes, his car. Anything else we were able to tag when he wasn’t looking. But if you do everything you can to keep yourself trackable, then I can promise we’ll be on top of you one way or another.”

  “How fast can this get done? Because the quicker I get back to him, the less suspicious he’ll be that I’m significantly tagged.”

  “Well,” Menlow replied, “lucky for you this has the potential to be a high-priority case. It would be a huge win for the division to bring down a sex trafficking ring right here in the US.”

  I numbly nodded my head. Yeah, lucky me.

  “The information this guy gave us on Friggs has already run its course. If Friggs has Thea and this guy can find him, approval will be fast-tracked.”

  The information drying out didn’t surprise me. Zander would’ve only shared just enough to get himself pardoned. No more, no less. “How fast? By tomorrow?”

  Nick’s head whipped my direction.

  Menlow cocked his brows at me. Apparently he wasn’t thinking as fast as I was. “I can have your personal items tagged but I can’t get extra eyes on you that fast.”

  I simply shrugged. “Doesn’t matter.” Though judging by the way Nick’s head just fell back, it did. “Plenty of tags will be in place. There’s no escape tunnel under this house. We can’t go anywhere you can’t follow.” Looking Nick’s way, I added, “And I won’t do anything or go any place with him I’m not willing.”

  Detective Menlow nodded, looking us both over, Nick longer than me. “Let me make a phone call before we continue on then.” He then left the car, approaching a second vehicle I hadn’t even noticed parked behind us.

  I blew another puff of air out between my lips. I knew Nick was mad. I knew he had the right to be. I’d basically decided this all by myself. But it was my life on the line, possibly my freedom. Thea’s, too. If I felt I was ready to do this, shouldn’t that count for something? Shouldn’t I be the one who decides what I am and not able to do? I loved Nick with all my heart and I certainly didn’t want anything to come between us, but together our path kept coming up on forks, and I feared at some point we weren’t going to be able to keep taking the same one anymore. Someone was going to get lost, or worse, quit.

  “Please don’t be mad,” I begged quietly.

  With a resigned voice, he replied, “You are literally impos
sible to protect, do you know that?”

  “Nick,” I said softly, “I’m not trying to hurt you. And I’m not trying to be a martyr. But I’m beyond protecting at this point. I can’t stay hidden in some home that’s not our home and get married and have babies and pretend these things never happened. And I can’t leave it to someone else to go looking for Thea. If I don’t do this, I’ll never be able to forgive myself. I could never live with the guilt. So please don’t ask me to stay. Because I can’t.”

  Fisting his hands in and out, he rested his wrists on his thighs. When we both finally looked at each other, he asked, “Do you understand how dangerous this is? That there’s still the chance you could be lost forever? If not by Zander then by Friggs if this goes south?”

  I nodded infinitesimally. “More than anyone. More than you even.”

  He looked confounded, and he looked upon me like he didn’t even know me anymore. “No. Not more than me. You didn’t even know you were missing the first time, Megan. You have no idea what it’s like on this side of the fence. To spend every day wondering. Waiting. Praying for an end. Any end, because after a while, even death becomes an acceptable conclusion. Just to bring the never-ending worry to a stop. How do you think your parents would feel if it all happened again? Except both daughters end up lost?”

  I chose not to answer right away. I mean, really? What could I say? Fidgeting with my hands, I worriedly asked, “Will you hate me for this?”

  He offered the same length of silence I had given him. And then he asked me the one thing I begged him not to. “Please don’t do this.”

  I closed my eyes and held my breath. The soft motion within my chest slowly sped up, its power echoing out farther with each beat. Before long the pounding found its way to my head. It was nice, having something to focus on other than the emotional pain trying to suffocate me into submission.

  I wanted nothing more than to soothe his emotions, to calm his soul and kiss him until all was forgotten. But nothing was going to get me to back down. Nothing. I wasn’t going to spend my life running. And I wasn’t going to leave Thea to suffer in darkness and despair.