NEARLY Trilogy

by Ashley, Devon

  With the barest whisper, I replied, “Please don’t hate me when I do.”

  The waves that rocked me to sleep last night were now stirring me awake. No longer soothing and gentle but choppy, and my head and stomach were cruelly reminding me of how much I wasn’t used to the sea. All those years growing up near the Pacific and I never spent any real time on the water.

  The air was cool but the body lying next to me was hot. Too hot…

  I half-whimpered, half-groaned as I rolled to my side and slid beyond the sheets and onto the cool floor. My stomach was so nauseous the acid from it was burning the base of my throat. And now I was cold, my skin instantly shivering as I moved to rub them down. My head fell back against the mattress as I concentrated on my breathing, trying to calm the storm within my own body.

  The mattress shifted, and a strong hand slipped over my shoulder before lips kneaded my neck beneath the ear. I was whimpering for a new reason, but it wasn’t going to win out at the moment.

  “Come back to bed,” he whispered before taking a quick nip at my earlobe.

  It took all I had to roll my head side to side. “I’m seasick,” I mumbled. “You don’t want me in there with you.”

  He huffed. “After all the rocking we’ve done you’re really going to let a few waves do you in?”

  I smiled. I would’ve chuckled if I thought it wouldn’t make me throw up a load of nasty. Wouldn’t he love me then, I thought.

  “Sorry, but I’m passing this round.” I swallowed down my questionable breath and wet my lips. His fingertips slowly slipped through my sweat-dampened hair and randomly traced along my scalp. It didn’t seem to matter what he was doing, dirty-minded or completely innocent, his touch always incited some kind of moan from me. Something no one else had ever done before.

  “How in the heck do you have the energy anyway? Are you popping little blue pills?”

  Chuckling, he replied, “No little blue pills. My libido is all naturale’.”

  “Well, hell. If this is your normal then I’m going to have to start some kind of cardio regimen to keep up with you. You’ve worn me out, which is embarrassing since you’ve got fifteen years on me.”

  “Come home with me and you can use my personal gym any time you want.” He said it in a teasing way, but he was totally serious.

  “You know I can’t. I have a job, responsibilities.”

  “You don’t even like that job.”

  True. But I could hardly tell him why I was forced to take a job that had nothing to do with my chosen field. What was I going to say? That I had to go into hiding and use a fake name because some sex offender was hell bent on snatching up my little sister? Like that wouldn’t keep me permanently single.

  “Matteo, I appreciate you surprising me with this trip. I really did need a break. But I can’t avoid reality forever. Don’t you think it’s time to go back?”

  “Is that what you want?” he asked softly, hurt residing deep in his voice.

  I nodded. “For now. Maybe one day I’ll take you up on your offer to stay with you, but not just yet. Okay? I mean, I haven’t even told my family about you yet.”

  “We could tell them together. Where do they live anyway? They’re obviously not close enough to pop by your apartment.”

  With a teasing yet dismissive tone, I said, “They’re around.”

  Lips returned to my neck, working their magic. “So are you still going to share a bed with me at night?” he asked.

  Unable to keep my smile from spreading, I turned to face him. Loving deep brown eyes were waiting for me. Everything about his warm Mediterranean features were sexy. “I think that can be arranged.”

  His lips curved upward before pressing gently into mine for the softest kiss. He pulled away way too soon.

  “I’ll get you something for your stomach.”

  With a renewed sense of energy, he jumped off the bed and disappeared into the front part of our underwater cabin. My stomach wasn’t feeling any better, so I welcomed the fizzy, hazy water he returned with, gulping it down.

  Crouching down before me, pushing my hair off my face, he said, “You know, I told your work place I was whisking you off for an entire week. Technically, you still have a few days. So how about you stay with me a day or two before going home?”

  Sleep was beginning to call my name again, its influence numbing the misery I knew was still going on inside my head and stomach. My head was getting heavy, my blinks harder and harder to reopen. “Mmm-hmm,” I murmured before I couldn’t fight the daze anymore.

  I knew it’d be impossible for Nick to stay back while I was dropped off at Zander’s. And it was awful how I continually tried to find people to be around so we couldn’t have that moment alone, knowing he’d lay into me once it happened. So it didn’t surprise me when we were a few blocks shy of Zander’s that he asked Detective Menlow to pull over and give us a private moment.

  My heart was skipping so fast it missed beats. Sanity speaking, it should’ve been doing that already because of what I was about to do, but it was Nick who was actually sending my nerves into a frenzy. “Nick…” I began.

  “No,” he said quickly, cutting me off. “You’ve had the floor for quite some time. It’s my turn now.”

  My eyes kind of spread, but I had yet to turn his way.

  “What you’re about to do is dangerous, and you need to remember that. I don’t care what promises he’s agreed to make. He’ll do exactly what he wants.”

  “He’s not a liar,” I rebutted quickly. And I had no idea why I was defending Zander. Hope, maybe? That he’d be true to his word?

  “Everyone’s a liar.”

  “Even you?” It was meant to just be words, but the way he blinked and shifted his head made me think he had something to hide.

  He swallowed, then met my eyes. I’d always loved how rich and beautiful his shade of green was. Always that spark of light in the darkness. “Everyone, Megan. Are you telling me you’ve been completely truthful with me? About everything?”

  Probably not. And I was suddenly afraid to ask him what secrets were burning deep within, slowly hollowing him out.

  “Please…don’t do anything stupid. Don’t put yourself in a position to be vulnerable. Don’t be gullible or naïve. And don’t let him dictate what you can or cannot do. And don’t you dare skip a call with me. Ever.”

  I closed my eyes and released a long breath. I seemed to be doing that a lot lately. I heard his seatbelt unclick, felt mine zip back the second he released mine. Arms wrapped around me and pulled me into his chest for an inescapable embrace. The mild spice of his scent was soothing, his skin warm and hard but oh-so comfortable to lean against. Warm flurries fluttered about inside me. I truly loved Nick. And I really didn’t want to leave him right now.

  “You know I have every intention of coming back to you, right?”

  “The road to hell is paved with good intentions,” he preached. “Your obsessive need to fix everything yourself might cost you something we can’t afford.”

  He was right, unfortunately. I didn’t trust anyone to find Thea. To find her or save her. Though I had no intention of being a prisoner again myself, I would gladly trade places with her. No one should suffer for me. Not my family. Not Nick. No one. I wasn’t the one who started this, but I’d be damned if I let anyone else finish it but me.

  “I love you,” I said with a soft voice. “More than any silly meme could ever express.”

  His hug got a little tighter. “I know. And I can’t imagine my life without you.”

  I absently traced the scar over his heart that I knew was hidden beneath his thin cotton shirt. “I think you’ve proven that at this point.”

  “Good,” he whispered, his breath hot against my ear. “No matter what happens, don’t you ever forget that. And don’t get lost.”

  Standing at the end of the walk, looking up at the creepy house I would have to call home for a while, I scraped my teeth over the right side of my bottom lip. I cou
ld still taste Nick, could still feel the aftershocks of his kiss tingling my lips. I wished he were here to give me one last squeeze of encouragement, but I asked him to switch vehicles and hang back. I didn’t want to give Zander any more reason to feel vindictive, didn’t want him to flaunt this situation in a way that would have Nick seething any more than he already was.

  He begged me not to play the martyr. I told him I wasn’t, that I had no intention of being the sacrificial victim in this endless loop of cruelty. And I wasn’t pretending to be strong. It was just that for once in my life, I truly began to feel that way. I was done being the victim. Done letting others choose my every move. While I wasn’t opposed to compromise along the way, I was determined to win by game’s end.

  I’d been enslaved. Trapped. Bound. Used and abused. Burned and belittled. At this point, every scar was a battle I refused to lose – both physically and emotionally.

  Detective Menlow was right behind me as I rolled my single luggage pack up the walk. The door was opening as we climbed the stoop. My breath caught for a moment as a lightning strike of pain shot through my heart, one last second of panic before I swallowed it down. Zander’s face was firm and intense, no real emotion coming off him. Wearing another Mr. Rogers type ensemble, he stepped back and allowed the two of us to enter.

  He wasn’t alone. The same attorney who sat in the interrogation room with him a few months ago sat on one of those ridiculous sofas in the living room. His salt and pepper hair had a little more salt to it and it seemed he was even heavier this time around. The sofa shrieked painfully as he rose to acknowledge us.

  “Now what?” I asked with some annoyance. “We’ve already met your demands.”

  “My client is simply covering his bases,” the man in the dark gray suit announced, picking up paperwork from the coffee table. He passed it my way but I didn’t move to take it, just continued to stare with an annoyed expression. It didn’t seem to deter the man though. “Mr. Malone has a few concerns about this arrangement. What you ask of him is dangerous to his life and may require certain questionable actions on his part. So we’re requiring you to sign this paperwork stating you will not share any of the methods you witness my client using or testify against him in any manner related to the time you’ll be spending together. You’ll also be waiving any rights to civil suits, including any possible bodily injury or death that might occur.”

  I couldn’t believe I managed to withhold the snort. “A confidentiality agreement?” I summed up, making sure my tone contained just the right amount of disdain and sarcasm.

  “And waiver should anything happen to you.”

  I didn’t even bother to look at anyone but the sweaty attorney as I snatched the paperwork and pen from his hand. I flipped through the monstrous number of pages looking for the ones that required signatures.

  “You should read that,” Detective Menlow urged.

  Seriously, what was the fucking point?

  I turned my attention back on the attorney. “Is there anything in this paperwork that would strip me of rights you haven’t made me verbally aware of? I’m not signing anything that agrees to live with him indefinitely or anything of that nature?”

  “No,” he replied, crossing his hands behind his back.

  “Awesome. So where’s the paperwork that states Zander can’t sue me for any of the shit that’s about to go down?” I asked boldly.

  Attorney Man briefly flashed a tight smile. “My client said you’d say that.” He bent to open his briefcase and pulled out additional paperwork, passing them over. I grabbed them and quickly flipped through them to confirm signatures before passing them off to the detective. To him, I said, “Been here, done this. But you’re my witness that he claims nothing else is hidden within the document.”

  I scribbled my signature and initials everywhere they were required, then thrust the papers back at the attorney’s chest, not caring that I crumpled their perfect crispness.

  “Excellent,” he exclaimed, placing them inside the briefcase before closing it back up. “Let the agreement commence.”

  He made his way for the door, which Zander already had open. He thanked him as he left.

  Zander cleared his throat, keeping guard at the door, his eyes clearly stating that Detective Menlow had overstayed his welcome. Menlow brushed it off and took a long glance my way. “You good?” he asked.

  I nodded. “I’ll be fine.”

  The man who had been nothing but kind nodded back. Good luck, he silently mouthed before turning to leave. He and Zander exchanged hard looks as he passed. The door was shut and locked, and I focused so hard on the metal mechanism’s clicking that it echoed deep within my ear. But not as hard as I focused on the sound of Zander’s steps on the hardwood as he slowly made his way toward me, eyes locked hard.

  I didn’t flinch, or back away, as his height began to really tower over me with that last step. I lifted my chin to prove I wasn’t afraid. It bugged me that I couldn’t read him. I had no idea what the hell was going on inside his head. Like ever.

  After a long, firm stare on both our parts, his head cocked slightly at an angle. “Bedroom’s that way.”

  My resolve remained stoic. Tipping my head slightly and lifting my brows, I told him, “I’m not here to be your fucktoy.”

  The left side of his mouth lifted smugly, letting that dimple crease and shine. I turned before he could comment further. Unfortunately, a second pair of steps accompanied mine down the hall and into the bedroom. It was just as awful as I imagined. A combination of frilly white and gray continued to throw up all over the walls, linens and furniture. The bed might’ve been a steel metal frame but even it looked a little too feminine. Unfortunately, if any guy were still capable of getting it up inside a room like this, that guy would have to be Zander.

  I rolled my luggage to a stop by the chair, staying as far away from the bed as I could. He had stopped at the door, so that was good. Sadly, I could hardly feel at ease since both his arms pushed against the sides, forming a pretty solid blockade.

  “We’re having dinner out tonight. We leave in an hour.”

  His eyes lingered as his body pushed off the doorframe. “What? You haven’t laid something out for me?” I snarked, then shivered, remembering the night that followed the last time he forced me to accompany him out of the house. In a godawful red poufy dress.

  His smile caught, and he twisted his head just enough for me to see it. “Wear whatever you’re comfortable in.”

  I silently thought, huh? I didn’t know why it astonished me. Part of the deal of me staying here was to have my freedom. A choice. But then again, the bastard had always given me a choice. A choice to be sold or to stay with him. A choice to become submissive to free Nick.

  Always a manipulation hidden within. Was it any wonder I could never trust his intentions, no matter how innocent they seemed?

  “What are we eating?” I called to an empty doorway.

  “You’ll see,” he called back from down the hall.

  I sighed and rolled my eyes. I’d push him further for information, but secretly, I was relieved to have him gone. Gently rubbing my arms, I sat on the edge of the chair, allowing my eyes to skirt around the bedroom. There were no visible ties. No visible loops of metal to cuff me to. No electronic locking mechanisms to keep me trapped inside the room. For once it appeared to be a completely normal bedroom.

  So why couldn’t I stop shivering?

  Since Zander told me to dress comfortably, I took that to mean we wasn’t dragging me anywhere posh for dinner. I donned the most comfortable pair of jeans I had and a long sleeved tee that would hide the goose bumps I couldn’t seem to shake. Zander, too, was surprisingly dressed similarly. Gone were the goody-two-shoes outfits he’d been accustomed to in this fake lifestyle, replaced with a relaxed pair of jeans, long-sleeved tee and a dark gray pair of Vans.

  Internally, I rolled my eyes. There were times when I could almost look at him and see a normal guy and not the monster
I knew was somewhere inside him.

  “Ready?” I asked, wanting to get outside this horribly too-white shabby chic house.

  “Yes.”

  He nodded his head for me to follow him through the door to the garage. I silently groaned the moment I saw it. Of course he was driving a fucking silver Ford Prius Hybrid. It must have been killing him not to drive one of his super-expensive cars. I muttered Jesus as I let myself into the passenger side. I was pretty sure there was a smile on his face as I climbed in, but it was gone by the time he joined me inside.

  It was a silent ride. He got onto the highway that led us back toward Eugene. I couldn’t help but glance occasionally at the cars in the side view mirror. Was someone back there, keeping a visual on us right at this moment, or were they relying heavily on the trackers to keep them up to date? Either way, I had to squash the worrisome feeling rising within me. I chose this. I chose to live with him while he searched for Thea. I wasn’t a prisoner this time.

  I wasn’t…

  Half an hour later my heart jumped. I stiffened in my seat, eyes fixated on the venue before us. Autzen Stadium. As in home of the Ducks.

  My breath caught in my throat as he rolled down the window to pay the attendant to enter the parking lot.

  “What are we doing here?” I asked as the window automatically rolled back up. “You said we were going to dinner.”

  “Last time I checked this place had food.”

  I could hear the roar of thunderous cheers through the glass. Judging by the lack of cars entering through the gates, the game had been going on for a while now.

  As he maneuvered through the lot, he asked, “Are you that opposed to seeing a match while we eat?”

  “If I said yes, would you turn around?” I tested.

  He chuckled lightly, but turned the car to take us farther in, not out. “It’s just soccer.”

  “Which we could’ve seen from the house or gone to a bar to watch. They carry the same food I hear.”

  “They’re international teams. Why go to a bar when you could come to the real thing?”