UnTouch Me

by Dawn Martens

My eyes go wide when I see my friends and family standing there, all of them grinning at me. “What’s going on?” I ask.

  Hilary and Eden grin. “Baby Shower time!” they both squeal.

  My mom, Momma B, Mona, even Hayley and Alix from work are here, plus women I’ve only seen in passing that I know are part of the club. And then I see her... Crazy old lady Mrs. Shepard is here. Great.

  We all get seated in the living room- well, Mrs. Shepard and I do while everyone else takes over my kitchen and starts decorating the place.

  “How are you, dear?” Mrs. Shepard asks. It sort of shocks me because she sounds sweet and gentle. Am I being punked?

  “Um, I’m good, Mrs. Shepard,” I tell her. What else am I supposed to say? Sure, everyone has problems, but nobody really cares to hear about them.

  “Bullshit,” she booms, and I jump on the couch. “That boy’s a piece of shit, leaving you pregnant and all. He’s lucky he avoids me. Otherwise, I’d beat him senseless.” I believe her too. That crazy old bat doesn’t mess around. Even Mason won’t go near her, and if she scares him, you know to stay the fuck away.

  “Hey, fuck heads! This party need to get loud,” Hayley shouts.

  “I like that girl,” Mrs. Shepard says, grinning. Of course she does. I swear, when Hayley gets to be Mrs. Shepard’s age, I bet you anything she will be exactly like her.

  Mrs. Shepard starts digging through her purse and pulls out two beers and a pack of smokes, along with an ashtray.

  “Uh, you can’t smoke,” I say hesitantly.

  “Fuck off with that. You and Eden are the same, I swear. Back in my day, we kept smoking right through the pregnancy. You’re gonna leave me be,” she says, pointing her boney finger at me.

  “Old lady, where the hell did the booze come from?” Hayley asks, coming into the room.

  “What did you call me?” Mrs. Shepard booms. Oh no.

  “You heard me! Hand me over one of those! I need a drink.” Mrs. Shepard narrows her eyes at Hayley—hmm, maybe she has finally met her match.

  The afternoon has been fun with all the food, gifts, and games. Although, I could have done without the games, with the way Alix and Hayley went crazy over a few things. They also bought me a vibrator, saying with me being single, I’m gonna need it.

  Then Alix started talking about the time she bought one, and Jordan threw it out into the snow and some kids got a hold of it, using it as a nose for a snowman.

  Alix and Hayley are currently chatting away, arguing over who gets the better orgasms.

  “Um, guys? Really?” Hilary speaks up.

  “What? Let me ask you this. You love sex, but you refuse to go near a dick unless it’s fresh and clean, gag over cum, and you don’t let your man kiss you after he eats you out. Does that make sense to you? No, no, it doesn’t! Plus, this bitch totally lost her shit at Jordan all because he tried to stick a thumb in her ass. Like, totally lost it,” Hayley says.

  “Hayley, shut up! It’s better than having a man squirt his spunk all over my face! That’s fucking sick!” Alix shouts at her.

  “Okay, that’s it for me. I’m going home now. Eden, dear, you were my ride. Let’s go,” Mrs. Shepard says, clearly looking grossed out for the first time ever.

  I say goodbye to everyone as they leave, and my mom sticks around to clean up.

  “How are you really, sweetie?” she asks me as she finishes up the dishes.

  “I miss him, Mom. I know I shouldn’t have kept secrets, but he’s taking it too far,” I say, choking slightly on my words.

  “Baby, it’ll be okay. You and Vinny, well, maybe this will finally open your eyes. It sucks that a child is now in this mess, but just because you’re going to have a child together, doesn’t mean you have to be together,” she says gently.

  “I know, Mom, but he was my first. He was my only. I love him so damn much,” I say, sobbing. “I want him back. I just don’t know if it’s meant to be. We are constantly hurting each other,” I admit more to myself than to her. We have always had this push and pull relationship, but that wouldn’t be healthy to raise a child around. What kind of example would we be setting?

  “Maybe, but this could be what Vincent needs to grow up,” she tells me calmly, turning her attention back to the dishes.

  “Yeah, maybe,” I whisper.

  *~*

  Another month has passed, and I’ve only seen Vinny once in all that time. I’m getting closer to my due date, and appointments are now starting every week. He didn’t give me an explanation as to why he missed the ultrasound, and I don’t think I really care to hear it at this point, even if he were to try to explain.

  As long as he doesn’t do this sort of shit when the baby finally arrives, then whatever. Throughout the whole appointment, he didn’t even look at me. He barely even paid attention to what the doctor was saying, almost as if he was bored or something.

  I’m meeting up with Hayley, Hilary’s cousin, today. I finished at the Salon three weeks ago, but she was going to be driving here and wanted to pick me up, to take me with her to scout new places to open another salon. I may as well—not like I have anything else going on right now.

  I lock up my house when I hear her car pull in. She honks a few times, as if her honking the horn will help me move any faster.

  “Come on, whale! Let’s go!” she shouts out her window.

  I slowly waddle down the driveway like a penguin.

  Getting in her car, I twist to look at her. “Did you call me a whale?” I ask.

  “Sure did, hot stuff. Let’s go. I brought you a bottle to pee in, because no way am I stopping every ten minutes,” she says, backing out of the driveway.

  I shake my head at her. She never thinks, just speaks. As she drives, she tries to ask about Vinny, but I don’t want to think about him today. It hurts too deeply.

  “What do you think?” Hayley asks, stopping in front of a huge old building with for sale signs in the window, after an hour of driving.

  I look around the area and see trashy businesses all around. “Um, how about no? You have a strip club beside you and across the street. On the other side is a massage parlour, which I bet you anything offers the whole Happy Ending thing,” I say, wrinkling my nose.

  Hayley bursts out laughing. “Maybe I’ll try out that massage.”

  I close my eyes and shake my head. The girl is nuts. At first, I thought she was the sane one, because of some of the stories Alix told, but Hayley has her beat.

  “Just joking, and yeah, no to this place. I’ll find something else,” she says.

  I lay my head back against the seat, haunted by memories of the past when things were okay, when Vinny was happy to be my man…

  I was walking down the street on my way to Momma B’s bakery when I heard my name being called. Turning around, I saw Vinny jogging over to me.

  “Hey,” I said, smiling up at him. God, he was so hot. I’d been crushing on him hard since I was nine years old, but he never saw me. I was just his friend—being friend-zoned sucked.

  He grinned at me. “Haven’t seen you in a few weeks. Saw you walkin past my place and wanted to hang out.”

  “Cool, I’m going to get a donut. I need a donut,” I said. Shit, was I rambling?

  “Good, I think I’d like one too,” he said, winking and grabbing my hand as we walked.

  Oh my God, he was holding my hand! He was holding my hand! Was my hand clammy? I was totally freaking out. I wondered if he knew I was freaking out?

  “Lilly,” Vinny said, tugging me to a stop.

  “Um, yes?”

  “You’re thinking out loud,” he said, sounding amused.

  My face heated up. Oh my god. I said all that aloud?

  His hand came up and cupped my cheek. “I’ve always wanted to do this,” he said then lowered his lips to mine.

  Holy fucking shit, he was kissing me. Was I dreaming? Had I died? Oh My God!

  God, I miss him. I rub my thumb over my lips, missing the feeling of his.
<
br />   I don’t know what the hell I’m doing here. What do I buy? Seriously, I know nothing about babies. “Can I help you, sir?” a woman asks me. She looks at me like I don’t belong in the store, with all my tats and the beanie covering my head. I ignore the stuffy bitch’s judgemental looks. Like she’s one to stare, in her frumpy skirt and ugly fuckin’ shit brown sweater. She probably needs a good lay. Her hair is knotted so tightly in that bun, it’s probably cut off the feeling all the way down to her tits.

  “Uh, yeah, I have no clue what I’m looking at. I got kids coming, and I’m clueless here,” I tell her, scratching the back of my neck.

  Before she can reply or help me out, I hear familiar giggling. I look around, not finding her, and then I do. I see her standing next to Hayley, Hilary’s cousin and Lilly’s old boss. Lilly’s face is beet red as she looks at Hayley in embarrassment as Hayley is fooling around with some pump thing. Lilly looks stunning. Her baby bump is protruding, and there is this glow to her skin. She has on a dress that bunches under her boobs. Fuck, her boobs are swollen. I miss them—her, but I can’t go there now. I remember when she used to smile a lot. Seems like now all I do is make her cry.

  “Sorry, that’s my girl. I’ll just go ask her,” I tell the girl standing next to me. She looks relieved to be rid of me.

  Walking over slowly, I shake my head at Hayley’s antics.

  “Seriously, this shit goes on my tit? I wonder if they will let me try it out, because I don’t know if I want this random machine sucking on me, not when I have my Brocky Poo. Hell, when I had my boy, I didn’t breast feed. It was too weird for me. Could you imagine Brock and I having sexy time, and me squirting him in the face with milk.”

  “Oh.My.God! Hayley, please, put it down. Stop! Just, please, stop,” Lilly says, trying frantically to grab the pump out of her hands. “And, please, keep it down.” Lilly looks embarrassed. I think it is funny until I hear what is said next.

  “Oh, come on. Lighten up. Gee, we gotta get you laid,” she says with a chuckle.

  “Over my dead body,” I say, my body going stiff, alerting them to my presence.

  “Vinny,” Lilly says, shocked.

  “What do you want, fuckface?” Hayley says, hands on her hips and ready to chew my ass up and spit it out.

  I look to Lilly, who’s looking at me hopefully, as if I’m going to whisk her off her feet and tell her I’m sorry, and that I want to be with her. I can’t give her false hope right now. I look at her with a scowl. “You fuck some clown while you’re pregnant with my child, you’ll be sorry,” I tell her. The thought of another man touching what I know should be mine has my blood boiling. We might not be able to be together right now, but shit could change in the future. I don’t fuckin’ share my pussy with anyone, and Lilly is my fuckin pussy.

  “Fuck you, buddy. Seriously? It’s not like a dick would touch the baby. It wouldn’t poke the baby either. Seriously, she can fuck whoever she wants. She’s not yours anymore, because you, asshole, let her go.” Hayley sneers at me while Lilly looks as though she wants to say something.

  “Don’t try me, Lilly,” I say then turn around, walking away. I leave the store empty handed and make my way to Kayla’s.

  I pull up to the sidewalk in front of Kayla’s house and get out. I hate coming here. I haven’t been with Kayla since two months before I finally scraped her off to really work things out with Lilly.

  Of course, that fucked everything up, all my plans with Lilly, everything, especially when I got her fucking text that night. Talk about worst timing ever. Lilly and I should be together. I should be the one taking her shopping to make sure she has everything her and the baby needs. My ring should be on her finger. She was supposed to become my wife, but instead, I have lost it all.

  I go to knock on the door, but I try the door first. It’s unlocked, so I just walk in. Kayla smiles when she sees me.

  “Hey, Vinny, you look like shit.” Kayla gives me an awkward side hug; her stomach is huge. Shit has been hard on her. She has been real cool about everything, considering. She has kept as far away from my life and Lilly as possible.

  “Just had a fight with Lilly. Her bitch friend had the nerve to say some stupid shit about Lilly getting fucked.”

  “Oh dear. Oh, you also just missed Brandon. He just left. He’s so sweet to me. I’m really falling for him,” Kayla says.

  I smile at her. “Good, I’m glad you found that.”

  “Yeah, and if you stop being a dick, you could have that again with Lilly.” I fucking doubt that. “Part of me wishes we could have worked out. I have to admit- at times, it still hurts. You’ll always be my first love, Vinny, but I also have realized that we were never meant to be,” she says, smiling sadly. When Lilly finds out about the child that I’m having with Kayla, she will never forgive me.

  *~*

  Angel isn’t around this week, so I agreed to stop in at Eden’s place to check in on everyone. Since the threat of Big Willy is now done with, we took off the protection detail, but still make it a point to watch every once in a while.

  I knock on the front door, and it bursts open. “Uncle Zip!” Glenna screeches, smiling.

  “Hey, G-baby,” I say, smiling. I tug on her braid, and she giggles.

  She grabs my hand, pulling me into the house. “Did you bring me any chocolate?” she whispers, not wanting Eden to hear.

  “G-baby, what’s with the screeching?” I hear Eden call out from the kitchen.

  “Uncle Zip is here!” she shouts.

  I'm about ready to give her a candy bar I have tucked in my cut for her, but Eden comes into the room. I look up just as Eden comes walking out. “Oh, um, hey, Vinny,” she says quietly. She isn’t as excited as Glenna is to see me here.

  I give her a small smile. “Hey, Edie.” She was probably expecting Angel, not me. The last few months, our relationship has been strained. I remember when we were friends, and she was pulling pranks on me in her backyard. Then after she came back, and after my treatment of Lilly—it just sucks now. I want my friend back.

  “Mind if I take the kids to the park for a bit?” I ask her.

  “That’s fine. They would like that. Lilly will be coming over in a bit anyways, so it’s probably best you two not be around each other. I heard yesterday, wasn’t, um, that good,” she says quietly.

  I nod, agreeing with that. I fucked things up and totally lost my shit.

  I knew at the time that I overreacted. I get that she was just keeping her word to Eden, but shit with Kayla is eating me up inside, and I snapped. It’s better this way, me ending it before she ends it with me when she finds out.

  Eden calls upstairs to the twins, and they’re glad to get out of the house. We end up walking a couple of blocks to a nearby playground. Jessica sees a friend from school and goes over to a picnic table to draw with her. Ethan sees a few of his buddies and proceeds to the jungle gym to hang out.

  “Come on, Mr. Zip.” G-baby is tugging me toward the swings.

  Glenna gets settled on the swing, and I push her higher and higher.

  I end up calling Eden, letting her know I won’t be able to come over today. I’m just exhausted. This baby will be here in just few weeks, so I want to rest and sleep as much as I can before she does get here.

  I’m lying in my bed, having a mini nap when the front door opens. “Lilly?” I hear called.

  Why is Vinny here?

  I pretend to stay asleep. I don’t have the energy to deal with him right now. Hearing him move around the house, I finally get up. He’s making so much noise, there is no way I could sleep, or even pretend to.

  Walking down the stairs, I don’t see him, but I hear him in the kitchen. Going into the kitchen to find out what he’s doing, I spot him at the stove, cooking. “Uh, what are you doing here?” I ask, confused.

  He turns around, looking at me. “I had the kids at the park for a few hours. When I took them back to Eden’s, she told me that you didn’t go over because you were exhausted. Thoug
ht I’d come by and help out around the house for a bit,” he says then turns back around. Seeing him here hurts. A part of me wants to rush over and wrap my arms around him. I miss him. I miss finding his lighters all over the house in random places. I miss ripping that fucking stupid beanie from his head and slamming my mouth into his, but he has hurt me so much.

  “I can see that, but you don’t need to. Hilary should be home soon. She can help me,” I say to his back. After Vinny moved out, Hilary moved in to help me out.

  He turns back around slowly, turning the stove down and then faces me. “You’re carrying my child, so I’m helping out.” He looks so cute. He is wearing dark denim jeans and a black t-shirt under his cut.

  “Whatever,” I say, and walk out of the house to my car. Stupid Vinny. Stupid jerk, wearing that fucking beanie, making me wish things were different.

  It still hurts being around him, knowing that chances are we’ll never be an ‘us’ again. No more stupid fights. No more back and forth. My only problem now is his stupid mother. God, I hate her.

  After driving around for a good hour, in hopes that Vinny will leave my house, I pull up to my place and see that fucking car, the car of dread. Looking to the front door, I see her, glaring at me as I park.

  “What are you doing here?” I ask her as I get out of my car.

  “Came to talk to the bitch who got knocked up by my son,” she tells me with a shrug.

  I walk past her and open my door. She, of course, doesn’t even ask to come in, but does anyways.

  “Well, speak,” I tell her.

  She shuts my door and locks it, then turns to me. “So you are indeed pregnant,” she says, glaring at my stomach. “I was hoping it was a lie, but no, it’s right there. You’re trapping my son.”

  “I haven’t trapped him, you bitch,” I spit out at her.

  “No, I suppose not, considering he left you,” she says, smirking. “How much will it take for you to leave?”

  “Excuse me?”

  “You heard me. I want my boy to find a woman that deserves him. I don’t want him to be tied to that child,” she says, pointing at my stomach.