Code of Honor

by Missy Johnson

  Chapter 29

  Lucy

  Stirring in my bed, I open my eyes. It takes me a moment to remember where I am and what happened. The familiarity of being back at home in Chicago is comforting, but all I really want is Pietro. Easing myself onto my side, I lie there, the events of the last forty-eight hours running through my mind. I wince, the pain in my side a stark reminder of how close I came to being seriously hurt.

  The pain I could handle, it was the memory of my father going off at Pietro that hurt the most. I’d never seen my dad so angry in all my life and while it was easy for me to be defiant and defend our relationship, I know my father’s disappointment in Pietro hurt him deeply.

  My phone flashes on my nightstand. Gingerly, I lean over and retrieve it. I have several messages from Pietro waiting for me.

  Pietro: I’m so sorry I let you down. Call me when you can.

  Pietro: I feel terrible about what happened and I don’t know how to fix this.

  Pietro: Call me, Luce. We need to talk.

  I text him back, trying my best to convey that I’m not angry, nor do I blame him. Why would I? This was payback for something my father did. It had nothing to do with Pietro. In my eyes, nothing has changed. I still love him and I know he loves me. That’s the most important thing, right?

  Me: I’m not angry with you, Pietro. This wasn’t your fault. Where are you?

  Pietro: At home in Chicago.

  Me: Come see me later. I’ll text you when it’s a good time.

  In his usual dramatic attitude, Dad had refused to let Pietro stay here. I was determined to talk some sense into him today. He has to realize that he can’t control my life.

  Easing myself out of bed, I throw my robe over my nightgown and venture out. As I track down the stairs, I listen for signs that he’s home. All I can hear is the soft humming from our housekeeper, Alsia, as she dusts the living room.

  “You’re up.”

  I jump, my hand flying to my chest to comfort my pounding heart. Dad exits his office and stands in front of me, frowning.

  “Jesus, you scared me,” I gasp.

  “Language, Lucia,” he chastises. “Come into the kitchen and we’ll have Marcel make you something.”

  “I’m not hungry—”

  “Nonsense!” he declares, his booming voice echoing through the high ceilings. “You will eat, because you need your strength.”

  “How about I decide what I do and do not need?” I suggest, an icy tone to my voice.

  He sighs and clasps his hands together.

  “I take it this is about Pietro? He took advantage of you, Lucia. That’s no way for a man to act.”

  “He didn’t take advantage of me, Father. We’ve been in a consensual relationship for weeks. We love each other.”

  “You’re too young to know what love is.”

  “I’m not a child,” I cry, my face heating. “You need to stop treating me like one.”

  “You are a child. You’re my child.” He sighs, his face drawn. “This is for your own good, Lucia. It wouldn’t have lasted anyway. Not with you over in Paris.”

  “Me where?” I sputter, confused. What the hell is he talking about? The second I’m over this, I’ll be back in New York where I belong.

  “It was going to be a surprise, but I might as well tell you now. I pulled some strings and got you a position in the Paris Opera Ballet. I’m sure you realize they are regarded as the best company in the world?”

  “You what?” I gasp. “You can’t buy my way into a company,” I say. “Besides, I have a place. In New York. Remember?”

  “You’re going to give up the best so you can achieve substandard?” He laughs. “Besides, I canceled your contract with the New York Ballet Company.”

  “You what?” I gasp again. He has got to be kidding me. What gives him the fucking right to keep interfering in my life?

  “This isn’t good enough, Dad. I don’t need or want your help. All I want is for you to let me live my life. Why is that so hard for you to understand?”

  “I know you’re smart enough to realize this is the opportunity of a lifetime. You’re serious about your dancing? Prove it to me. Prove it to yourself. So, I got you an in? That’s all it is. A chance to show everyone what you’re made of. Do you know how many dancers want to dance with them? Hundreds. Do you know how many of them make it onstage? A handful, if that.”

  He’s right. I know he’s right, but it doesn’t make any of this easier to digest. I want to do this on my own. But on the other hand, if I did go I would be starting at the absolute bottom of one of the best ballet companies in the world. If I could crack that, I could do anything. This could launch my career, and my father damn well knows it.

  “What are the conditions?” I ask, my voice trembling. Like I even need to ask. This is his way of getting me away from Pietro. And I’m actually considering it. What kind of person does that make me?

  “There are no conditions, Lucia. What am I, a monster?”

  I don’t believe him for a second. He always has something up his sleeve.

  “Do you really want me to answer that?” I ask, my voice sharp. Pain crosses his face and I feel bad. He’s only trying to do what he thinks is best for me.

  “Lucia, if you want to continue this thing with Pietro, then that is up to you. There is nothing I can do about that, is there?” He shrugs and I narrow my eyes at him. This has to be some kind of trick. “Why are you looking at me like that?” he asks.

  “Because nothing with you is ever this easy.”

  “Maybe I’m a changed man. You said so yourself. You’re not my little girl anymore. I need to accept that.”

  I’m still not convinced, but I decide to move the conversation along.

  “How did you get me in?” I ask suspiciously.

  “People owe me favors. As I said, all I did was get your foot in the door. Whether that door opens or slams shut in your face is up to you.”

  Sighing, I nod. I need time to digest all of this. If I do go, I know things with Pietro won’t be the same, even with my father’s blessing. My schedule won’t have time for a boyfriend, let alone one on the other side of the world.

  “You don’t need to make a decision now, Lucia. It’s been a big few days for you. Go rest.” He pats me on the back and walks out of the room, leaving me alone to wonder what decision is the right one.

  I lie on my bed, waiting to hear my father leave for the meeting I overheard him planning. Finally, I hear him come up the stairs and knock on my door.

  “I’ll be out for an hour or so. I have my phone, so call me if you need me. Alsia is downstairs,” he adds. I nod and manage a smile, waiting until he closes the door and retreats back down the stairs before I grab my phone to text Pietro.

  Me: Come over in ten minutes. He’s just leaving.

  Struggling to my feet, I throw a robe over my pajamas and wait until I see my father’s car leave the property before I go downstairs. I walk into the kitchen and make myself a cup of tea while I wait. My stomach is in knots at the thought of seeing Pietro again. It’s only been a day since I saw him last, but it feels like a day too long.

  As I carry my drink into the living room, the doorbell rings.

  I open the door and see him standing there, glancing around nervously. His dark curly hair is a mess and the dark circles under his eyes suggest he hasn’t slept. I bite my lip as he rubs his stubbled jaw, the urge to feel him inside me strengthening. Despair fills my stomach as I think about the choice I need to make. How am I going to be able to leave him if I can’t last a day apart?

  “You’re sure he’s not hiding around the corner or something?” he asks, eyeing the hallway to his office suspiciously.

  “You’re clear. He’ll be gone for at least an hour.”

  He nods and steps closer to me. I wince as his hands touch my waist.

  “You’re still in pain,” he murmurs, concern lacing his voice.

  “It’s better than it was,” I fib. The
bruising is just beginning to surface, bringing with it more intense pain. Thankfully, nothing was broken. That would’ve put me out of dancing for weeks.

  “I’ve missed you,” he whispers. I groan as his lips touch my neck, working their way up to my ear.

  “I’ve missed you too,” I mumble. This is killing me. I’m still no closer to making my decision, but he deserves to know what I’m considering. I take a deep breath and close my eyes as my embrace on him tightens.

  “I have the opportunity to dance in Paris. With one of the best ballet companies in the world.”

  He stiffens, and pulls away slightly.

  “Your father?” he asks, an edge to his voice. I nod. He slowly exhales. I study his face, trying to figure out what he’s thinking. “I thought the New York Ballet Company was the best in the world,” he deadpans.

  “It’s the best I thought I could achieve,” I reply. “Dancing in Paris is way beyond anything I could’ve ever imagined—”

  “And your father getting it for you doesn’t taint it?” His words slice through me like a knife. He sighs and reaches for my arm, but I pull away. “I didn’t mean—”

  “What? To imply I haven’t worked damn hard to get where I am?” I shoot back.

  “I’m just”—he stops and shakes his head—“can’t you see what he’s doing? He’ll do anything to keep us apart, even if it means sending you halfway across the world.”

  I let out a laugh.

  “Are you serious? You can’t make up your mind what you want and you’re lecturing me? One minute you want to be with me, and the next you can’t do that to my father. Now you’re angry because you think this is his way of tearing us apart?”

  “Isn’t it?” he presses, his expression dark. “If you go to Paris, are we over?”

  “Not if you come with me,” I say quietly.

  His jaw drops open as he stares at me in shock. I’m shocked myself, because that is the last thing I expected to come out of my mouth.

  “I can’t come with you, Lucy,” he whispers. Stepping forward, he wraps his arms around me. “You can’t ask me to leave everything I’ve ever been able to call a family and go with you. You’ll be training nonstop, and when you’re not training, you’ll be exhausted. Having me there will only be a distraction. You know that.”

  He’s right. I do know that, but it doesn’t make hearing his words any easier.

  “It’s not that I don’t believe in what we have—”

  “You just cherish what you have with my father more,” I finish.

  “Luce, whatever it takes for you to fulfill your dreams, I want you to do it. If you need to be angry with me for it, then so be it. I can handle that. But deep down you know I only want you to be happy.”

  “So that’s it?” I laugh. I can’t believe after everything, we’re ending it like this. It doesn’t seem right.

  “It’s not forever, Luce. Just for now.”

  Tears stream down my cheeks as he leans in and kisses me tenderly on the lips. I savor the taste of him, knowing it might be the last time we ever kiss. My heart pounds as he pulls away from me, his fingers still laced in mine.

  “I could never hold you back from your dreams, Luce,” he says, a bittersweet smile forming on his lips. “You deserve the world, a thousand times over. We can keep in touch. There’s phone, email, and I can visit.”

  I nod, wiping away my tears. Maybe a long-distance relationship isn’t out of the question. Maybe we can make this work. His hand slips away from mine. I’m shaking as I watch him walk away. Part of me wants to stop him. I want to throw my arms around him and never let go. But I don’t.

  Because he’s right. If I don’t do this, I’ll regret it. I’ll end up resenting him.

  And I can’t stand the thought of hating him.

  Back in my room, I ponder how much my life has changed—and how much more it’s going to change over the next few months. I’ve already done so much, but all that has done is make me crave more. I need to do this, and more than that, I’m looking forward to it. As much as I hate my father for interfering, I have to admit that when he plays hardball he does it well.

  My phone rings. It’s Ana, and I realize it’s been days since I’ve spoken to her. My sudden disappearance probably has her and Jacob worried sick.

  “Hello?” I say, answering the call.

  “What the heck is going on?” she screeches. “You’ve dropped out but nobody will tell me a goddamned reason why. I’ve been so worried. Jacob’s here too,” she adds.

  “I’m so sorry, I should’ve called you earlier,” I say, cradling my face in my hands. I’m such a bad friend. “I was in an accident, but I’m okay.”

  I don’t tell her the full story, because the less people who know, the better. I don’t know what the situation is with the men who took me—or what condition they’re in— but I know enough to keep my mouth shut.

  “God, Lucy, how bad are you hurt? If you’re okay, then why did you drop out? Surely they’d allow you time to recover,” she says.

  “They probably would, but I-I’ve been offered a place somewhere else,” I say, suddenly feeling nervous. I love Ana to bits, but I have no idea how she’s going to take my news. I know I’d be as jealous as hell if it were her leaving for Paris.

  “But it’s the New York Ballet Company!” she exclaims. “What could be better than that?”

  “The Paris Opera Ballet,” I say, my voice barely above a whisper.

  “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” she gasps. “Are you serious? How the hell did you manage that? Oh my God, I’m so fucking happy for you! Go, don’t you dare even think about coming back to New York,” she gushes.

  I laugh, unable to get a word in.

  “Thanks, Ana. You guys better come visit me, okay?”

  “Oh, for sure. I’m so excited for you, Luce!”

  She squeals again, making me laugh. Her enthusiasm is infectious and I find myself getting more and more excited about Paris. We chat for a few more minutes and then say our goodbyes. I promise to call and text as often as I can.

  I lie down on my bed, a smile on my face. As scary as it is, embarking on this new part of my life, I’m so fucking ready for it. There’s only one thing that could make the whole situation more perfect. It’s not going to happen, Luce, so forget it.

  He can’t come with me and I need to respect that. I’m the one abandoning our relationship. I had to decide what is most important to me, and I did it.

  I just hope I’ve made the right decision.

  Chapter 30

  Pietro

  She stands at the doorway to the living room, facing me as I sit on the sofa. My plan of staying out of her way until she was gone had failed. I’d been hoping to avoid saying goodbye. It’s all happening so fast. It’s only been five days since we came back from New York. I’m surprised Giovanni is allowing me to be here to see her off.

  Maybe it’s his way of punishing me.

  Bella walks in and heads straight over to Lucy, throwing her arms around her neck.

  “I was so worried you’d left already,” she pants, out of breath.

  “I’d never leave without saying goodbye to you,” Lucy says. She chuckles. Both girls have tears in their eyes as they hug again: this time neither wants to let go. I look down as I feel my own emotions begin to stir.

  “You better call me every day,” Bella says. “And as soon as I scrape together enough cash, I’m totally coming over.”

  “Love you, Bell,” Luce whispers, kissing her on the cheek. She squeezes her hand, and then makes her way past her father and toward me as Giovanni watches, his expression void of emotion.

  “I’ll wait outside for you, Lucia,” he mumbles, stalking out the door. Bella also takes the hint and follows him.

  “My cab is on its way,” Lucia says nervously.

  “I’m surprised your father isn’t putting you on the plane himself,” I joke. She smiles.

  “I’m sure he wants to. But if he’s serious
about letting me do this alone, then he needs to step back. I think he knows that.”

  Does he? Are we talking about the same man? Surely she knows that Giovanni is never going to change.

  “Well, I hope you have a good flight,” I offer her. What else is left to say other than polite small talk? I stand up awkwardly, but I don’t make any effort to move closer to her. Unfortunately she does. She steps forward until she’s standing in front of me. I tense as she reaches out, her hand clasping mine.

  “I’m sorry.” She shakes her head sadly. I swallow, forcing myself to keep eye contact. “I wish you were coming with me.”

  “Text me when you get there. And Luce? I’ll always be here for you.”

  Biting her lip, she leans up and kisses me, her lips pressing against mine. I take her head in my hands and deepen the kiss, not ready to let her go. Sighing, she pulls away, her eyes closed and her lips parted as soft breaths escape her mouth.

  “I’ll speak to you soon,” she whispers. She turns away, walking to the door, leaving me in her wake. I watch her go, and listen for the sound of the front door opening before I leave the room.

  Standing a few feet back from the window, I watch the cab pull up. She hugs her father. He says something to her, then kisses her, before loading her suitcases into the trunk of the cab. One last embrace and she’s sliding into the backseat of the cab.

  So that’s it. Eight years in my life and now she’s gone.

  —

  Giovanni walks through the front door. He sees me sitting on the stairs and nods at me. She’s gone. I close my eyes and sigh, lifting myself to my feet. Shoving my hands in my pocket, I try not to show my despair.

  “You did the right thing, Pietro, making her go.” His voice is gruff. He reaches out and gently pats me on the back. I want to laugh. He thinks I did this for him. In reality, I did it because her being with me is too dangerous. The more distance I can place between us, the better. For now, at least.

  “I did what I needed to do,” I reply, my voice cool.

  He shrugs. “That’s why we are so similar, Pietro. We both did what we thought was best for her. Come now, I want to talk to you.”