Aggro: An Emotional Forbidden Romance

by CoraLee June

  “Breeze, I still need to breathe,” Chase joked, lightening the mood.

  I released my grip on him and took a step back. “Sorry!” We stared at one another for a moment. I chewed on my tongue while thinking of how to answer him. “Chase, I’m here for you. We’re in this together.”

  He nodded and ran a hand through his hair. “I haven’t eaten yet today, are you hungry?” he asked with a comfortable smile. I could tell he was trying to change the conversation to lighter subjects.

  “I’m starving!” I realized it was true as soon as the words left my mouth. Being surrounded by anxiety and stress hadn’t been very good for my eating habits. It wasn’t uncommon for me to forget meals.

  “Let’s go out. My treat.”

  The restaurant we picked was a cozy beachfront dive that sold seafood and had karaoke nights. Chase got us a table with a view of the ocean. It didn’t matter how long I’d lived here, I couldn’t get over the view. I stared at the sun high up in the sky and then turned my attention to Chase, who was staring directly at me. A few months ago, I would have obsessed over this precious alone time with Chase. Before Kai, I would have overanalyzed every bit of this lunch, building it up to be more than it was in my mind.

  The picnic table we sat at had sun-bleached wood and was rough against my skin. The waiters wore jean shorts and black tanks with the restaurant’s logo on it. Seagulls fluttered around the hot concrete, looking for dropped scraps of food from naive tourists. Most locals knew to never feed the birds.

  “Sooo, like I told you before, I ended things with Celeste,” Chase rushed out, his cheeks red.

  “You said that, but forgive me for being hesitant to believe you. Why did you end things?”

  Chase shrugged. “We weren’t really dating. I was leading her on, and after the party…”

  “I get it,” I replied. “I think that’s probably best.” I didn’t like Celeste, but I hated seeing her crying. She was really upset.

  Chase leaned in, folding his arms on the table as we waited for our server. “Do you?”

  My brow furrowed. “Of course I do. You’re better than meaningless sex, Chase. I bet if you gave someone half a chance, they could surprise you. You might even have something real for once.”

  Chase reached out and stroked my hand. I wanted to snap my hand back, but the way he was gazing into my eyes had me frozen in place. “I think we could have had something real,” he whispered. “But I fucked it up, didn’t I?”

  My entire body softened at his tender words. “I had the biggest crush on you. For years,” I admitted. “But things are changing. I don’t want anything to ruin our friendship. Not now. Not while we’re going through all of this. Besides, you’ve always been out of my league. You were so confident. You have this presence, Chase. It’s similar to Violet in a lot of ways. When you walk into the room, people can’t help but stare.”

  “That’s how I always felt about you,” Chase replied. “I watched you constantly. Part of me chalked it up to some weird big brother protective instincts I had going on. I just kind of lumped you and Violet in the same category. But it changed the night you saw me and Celeste.”

  I blushed at his words. I’d be lying if this conversation didn’t fuel my ego. I liked knowing that the boy I’d always had a crush on saw me, too. But we needed to create some boundaries in our relationship. I wanted to be there for Chase, but not in the way I once had hoped for. We had to pilgrim a new normal. A friendship. A love that helped carry us through these difficult times. “I don’t think we’d be good together, Chase. And I don’t think you’re in a place to love me the way I need to be loved.”

  Chase looked down at the table. “What was it your mom used to say? Rotted wood can’t hold up a house?” he asked with a sad chuckle. “Our timing sucks.”

  “It does. But it doesn’t mean we can’t be something different. Friends. Family. I love you, Chase. I love you so freaking much. Being away from you would physically hurt me. Your pain is my pain.” I placed my hand over my heart. I wasn’t planning on having such a heartfelt conversation, but it was so freeing.

  “And I love you, Breeze. So fucking much. We have to stick together, okay? I already lost Violet. I can’t lose you too. Just let me in your life, and I’ll do whatever it takes to do right by you.”

  I felt such relief I couldn’t help but smile. Chase met my happiness with a blinding grin of his own. It felt like I could breathe. We were on the same page, everything laid out for us. I couldn’t help but feel Violet’s presence in this moment. She would have wanted this. She would have wanted Chase and me to sort our shit out.

  “Well, since we’re being open, can we talk about your scary mood swings? I should probably also tell you what’s going on,” I added. Chase had a right to know the kind of danger Kai was facing to help find Violet’s murderer, but I also needed to make sure that he wasn’t going to start flipping tables once I told him. Chase looked embarrassed, like he knew his behavior had been unacceptable. “I know you’re struggling. I know sometimes it feels like the only way to feel okay is to lash out, but I’m worried for you. And to be honest, when you get like that, it scares me.”

  “I don’t want to scare you, Breeze. That’s the last thing I want to do. I promise to work on it, okay? I just can’t handle the pain sometimes.”

  “Not to be cruel, but you’re going to have to find a way to get your shit together. Punching walls doesn’t bring her back. Neither will drinking yourself into oblivion.”

  “I know. I know.”

  I gave him a hard look before changing the subject. “Well, I guess we can test your restraint with some information. Kai and I talked…”

  Chase steeled his expression as if preparing for a slap to the face. His only acceptance of what I was about to say was a single nod.

  I told him everything. About the diary. About Kai not being the father. About Lex. About the deal Kai made with the police. The drugs. Kai’s desire to distance himself from his brother. About my feelings for Kai. I spilled the truth at Chase’s feet, and he absorbed it all with a blank expression, stopping only with the occasional question for clarification. The waiter brought our food, but neither of us touched it as I spoke. It was a purging of information.

  When I was done, Chase let out a low whistle. “I can’t believe Kai would do that for Violet. After everything… Are you sure he’s telling the truth?”

  “He wants answers just as much as we do. He’s hurting. It’s a different kind of hurt, but it comes from the same place.”

  Chase ran a hand through his hair. “I kind of feel like a dick. I don’t like him, but I’m shocked he’s doing all of this.” At that, my phone buzzed and I picked it up, smiling when I saw a text from Kai.

  Kai: You safe?

  Me: Yeah. At lunch with Chase.

  “Who is that?” Chase asked.

  “Kai. Just checking to see if I’m safe.”

  Chase bit his lip, and I waited for him to speak. I wasn’t sure how he would take the news of Kai and me being together romantically. Even though we didn’t put labels on what happened, it still felt awkward to be open in front of him. “What’s going on between you two? And don’t just tell me you’re working together on finding Violet’s murderer. Your face lit up like the Fourth of July when that text came through.”

  I wanted to lie. Squirming in my seat, I eased into an answer. “I like him. It’s new.”

  Chase gritted his teeth. “I’m going to be a good friend right now and keep my mouth shut. I just want you to be happy. And safe.”

  Another text message came through, and I looked down at it.

  Kai: I’m still running an errand for Lex. Can you stay with Chase tonight? I want to throw my phone across the room suggesting that, but I don’t want you alone. If there is anyone—literally anyone—else you could stay with, that would be preferable.

  I reluctantly smiled at his message, making Chase lean over the table to see what had me grinning. “Of course you can stay wi
th me—in the spare bedroom. I’ll keep you safe, Breeze. I’ll even hold you if you get scared.” Chase waggled his eyebrows. “In fact, can you tell him that? Type that Chase will happily tuck you into bed and protect you from the monsters.”

  I was definitely not typing that.

  Me: I trust Chase. I don’t really have anywhere else to go. I’ll stay there. I miss you. Are you safe?

  Kai: If he puts a hand on you, I’ll break both his legs. And I’m fine. Not my first wave, Little Whisper. I miss you too. I miss the way you moan my name when you come.

  My cheeks blushed, and I slammed my phone down so Chase couldn’t see, though I’m sure he could see the heat flaring across my cheeks. Chase cocked an eyebrow and smirked. “What did he say?” Chase asked mischievously.

  “Nothing,” I replied, albeit a bit too quickly.

  Chase tipped his head back and laughed as another text came in. “You are so transparent, Breeze. Look at that blush. You like Kai alright. You like his dick.”

  “It’s more than that, okay?” I replied. I didn’t want Chase to think this was just some weird physical release. This wasn’t like what he had with Celeste. “I really like him.”

  Chase frowned as I checked the message Kai sent.

  Kai: I want to taste you. Your sweet little cunt is mine as soon as I get home.

  I squeezed my thighs together. Oh hell. These messages were not helping my case.

  “Damn, Breeze. Seeing you flushed and embarrassed is making me hard,” Chase teased, though I knew he was being completely serious by the way he blatantly adjusted his shorts. I could see the movement of his body even though the table obstructed most of my view.

  “Chase!” I exclaimed, and he held his hands up in mock surrender.

  “I know, I know. Friends. I’m working on it.”

  I pulled out my phone and sent Kai a quick text, biting my lip as I typed.

  Me: Call me when you get home. I think I want a taste, too. ;)

  Chase and I picked at our lunch and laughed about normal things for a little while. It was just what I needed, a calm before the storm. Chase and I were alright. I was going to be okay. It was all going to be okay. They say grief comes in waves, and today was a pleasant break before the crash.

  Kai

  I was grinning at my phone like an idiot, wanting to stay in my truck, sending naughty texts to Breeze until my balls ached and my fingers fell off. I imagined her blushing at my words. I imagined her squeezing her thighs closed, squirming in her seat and seeking relief from the need my words created. So maybe I wanted to stake my claim. I didn’t like Chase. Breeze’s safety trumped my jealousy, but I still wanted the fucker to know that Breeze wasn’t his. She might have had a crush on him before, but I was hers now.

  And God help him if he hurt a hair on her head. I didn’t like that he bruised Celeste—even if she was a gigantic pain in the ass. I definitely didn’t like all the holes in the walls I saw when I went to his house. He was temperamental right now but was still preferable to leaving Breeze vulnerable to Lex. Why couldn’t Breeze be friends with someone not so fucking annoying?

  I pocketed my cell phone and got out of my truck, my mood immediately souring the moment I saw the old trailer where I grew up. Lex wanted me to pick up the product and deliver it to a few pushers in the area. I fucking hated doing this. Lex had built quite the empire over the years. Despite the shady trailer, I knew he had thousands stuffed in hiding spots all over the island. I wondered why he didn’t move away from this shit hole, but old habits die hard.

  Lex was waiting for me inside, sitting on the old, broken couch with his feet propped up on the scuffed coffee table, with a few food containers littering the floor around him. This place smelled like shit; it was part of the reason I left as soon as I could. I liked a clean space. I wanted somewhere I wasn’t embarrassed to bring people. Lex had no problem fucking some coke whore on a pile of trash. As long as he got off, nothing else mattered. I had pride in my shit.

  “Welcome home, little brother,” Lex greeted before reaching to the side of the couch for a large duffle bag and tossing it to me.

  I caught the bag easily, but its weight knocked me a little off balance. It was heavier than I expected. I had been doing this long enough that I could tell the difference between a normal run and even one extra client just from the nuances in the weight of the bag. This was heavier than just one extra.

  “There’s a little more in there for you to deliver,” Lex said, as though he had read my mind. “I trust that’s okay?”

  “Yeah. Fine,” I said, having to willfully unclench my teeth. It wasn’t fine. I didn’t want to be doing this at all, and I definitely didn’t want to be adding fucking strung out wannabe dealers to my list. But I had to know if he killed Violet, which meant I had to be doing this.

  “Good, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  Shit, normally Lex gave me at least three days to push the normal stuff, now he’s given me at least double and expects me to do it in a day? “I thought you didn’t want the cops sniffing around anymore. How do you expect me to deliver these without raising suspicion?”

  “Have a little faith in me. It’s only one extra, it’s just a big one. It’s a business owner on the other side of town. Easy.”

  Lex mentioning a business owner sparked my memory. Breeze wanted me to find out if her dad was one of Lex’s clients. I really didn’t like the idea of talking about her with Lex any more than I had to; I didn’t want him knowing how important she was to me. But Breeze asked me to do this for her.

  “Okay, cool. No problem,” I told him. “Hey man, speaking of business owners. Did the dude Violet worked for ever buy?” I was hoping that Lex wasn’t smart enough to make all the connections.

  “You mean Breeze’s dad?” Lex asked, leaning forward on the couch. All of the springs creaked as he moved.

  Shit.

  “Yeah. Was he a buyer?” I asked, trying not to sound too eager.

  “Nope. Not from me anyway.” Lex smiled, as if he was sitting on a secret, baiting me to ask what was giving him the shit-eating grin on his face. “If you have a question, you’re welcome to ask. You might not like the answer.”

  I didn’t want to push Lex for more information about how he knew Breeze’s dad, but this was what I was here for, wasn’t it? To find out information. “Just spit it out,” I gritted.

  “I like to make friends, Kai. You know that. We had mutually beneficial interests. I’m a businessman, after all. An investor.”

  I fought the urge to scoff. Lex didn’t have friends, he had information. Blackmail was like a second language to Lex, and he wielded it like a weapon. I knew the surf shop was struggling, and it wouldn’t be the first time Lex offered to spot someone cash in exchange for a favor. Even though I wanted to ask more questions, I wasn’t ready for information that might incriminate Breeze’s dad. Loans weren’t necessarily illegal, but the ways Lex liked to cash in usually were. I just left it alone. I told Lex I would be back with his money tomorrow and left the shit hole he still called home.

  Once I was back in my car, I sent Breeze a text letting her know the little bit of information I was able to find out.

  Me: Your dad isn’t buying from Lex. I think he’s loaning your dad money for the surf shop.

  Breeze: Shit. OK - stay safe.

  Me: I’ll call you later.

  I opened the bag and found the list of deliveries on top. It was going to be a long ass day.

  Me: It’s done.

  I was relieved sending that text to Lex. He had me running all over the island, meeting shady, shitty people through all hours of the night. I put my Glock in the glovebox and parked outside of the surf shop. I hadn’t slept since yesterday, and my eyes were heavy from a long night of working. I had to be at the restaurant for my shift in six hours, but I wanted to make sure Breeze got to work alright. I parked and stared at the door, rubbing my neck as Chase’s sports car pulled up. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw Breeze. She got
out of the car, looking tired and worried. She walked up to the door and pulled the shop key from her pocket. After struggling with the lock for a moment, she pulled the door open. Chase watched her until she disappeared in the shop, then peeled out of there. When he passed, he looked at me, nodding with a mild acceptance of my presence there.

  I knew I should have gone home. I should have showered and tried to sleep for an hour or two before work, but I got out of my truck and followed Breeze inside. The bell rang when I entered, and her sweet, tired voice called out.

  “We’re not open yet!” Her tone was muffled. I looked around, searching for her, smiling when I found my prize. Breeze was bent over, her tight ass in the air as she dug through a box of candles made by a local artist. I walked up to her and grabbed her hips, making her shoot up to a standing position with a gasp. I didn’t mean to scare her, but it was probably good. She needed to be aware of her surroundings at all times.

  “You should lock the door, Little Whisper,” I rasped in her ear as she relaxed in my hold.

  “Fuck, Kai. You scared me.” I spun her around and kissed her forehead, well aware that I hadn’t brushed my teeth yet today and that I probably smelled like nasty ass meth house and junk food. “How did last night go?”

  “As well as you could expect. I have a shift at the restaurant in a few hours. I really need to sleep, but I wanted to check on you first.” My obsession with Breeze wasn’t subtle. Before, I had to be careful where my gaze went. I had felt like shit for dating Violet and longing for Breeze, but now that I’d had a taste, there was no containing the possessiveness in my soul.

  “You look exhausted,” she noted before reaching up to stroke my cheek. Fuck, that tenderness made me hard as a rock. I’d never experienced such care and compassion. My life was a difficult road I’d mostly traveled alone. I wasn’t used to checking in with someone after Lex forced me to do his runs. Hell, anytime Violet and I texted, it was about her. What she wanted. What she needed. How she was going to fuck me next time she came over.