“What?” Alegria asked before he could.
“A message from Doc. Would you excuse us for a minute?” he asked Mantis, already maneuvering Alegria away.
He watched them walk toward the restaurant’s entrance, and then moved seats so he was closer to Shiver and Darrow.
“Evidently everyone has a mystery,” she said, scowling at her brother, who didn’t respond. “Doesn’t it get tiresome?”
“It’s the life we chose,” Mantis answered.
She nodded. “I guess dinner is over. Excuse me.”
He and Shiver watched her walk in the direction of the ladies’ room.
“Anything I can help with?” Mantis asked once she was out of earshot.
“Thanks, but I don’t think so,” Shiver answered.
Mantis nodded. “Let me know if you change your mind.”
Shiver nodded in return. “What about you?”
“Come again?”
“Anything I can help with?”
Mantis looked over his shoulder to where Dutch and Alegria were deep in conversation. “I don’t think there’s much hope.”
Shiver shook his head. “You’re wrong.”
“What makes you think so.”
“Alegria loves you; she always will.”
“What if that isn’t enough?”
“I’m wondering that myself, mate.”
Mantis had no idea what Shiver was referring to. Regardless, they obviously weren’t talking about him and Alegria any longer.
—:—
“What’s happening?” Alegria asked when Dutch led her out the front door of the restaurant.
“I don’t know all the details yet, but there’s an op.”
“How soon will you be deploying?”
“Right away. Doc’s arranging transport to California as we speak.”
“I’ll go straight to Manhattan, then.”
Dutch cupped her cheek with his palm. “I wish I didn’t have to leave tonight.”
“Me too.”
When he leaned down and kissed her, she wrapped her arms around his waist. As she had so many times before, she wished she felt the same level of passion for him as she always had for Mantis. No matter how much she wanted it, she’d never been able to force it.
“I gotta go,” Dutch said, taking her arms from his waist. “Do you want me to give you a lift back to the terminal?”
“No, I can catch a cab. Go if you need to.”
“I’m sorry,” he said again before pulling her against him and kissing her a second time. “I’ll call when I know more.”
Alegria nodded and waved as he climbed into a waiting car. Was she imagining that he was saying more than goodbye for the duration of the mission, or had Dutch just said farewell to her forever?
When she went back inside, she saw Mantis and Shiver alone at the table. She was about to turn around and leave when Mantis waved her over.
“I’m off,” Shiver said, standing and kissing each of her cheeks. “If you need anything…”
She nodded and saw Darrow was already near the door. “Thanks. Please say goodbye to your sister for me.”
“Well,” she began after Shiver had left. “I suppose it’s time for me to go too.”
“Where?”
“Manhattan, I guess,” she sighed.
“You don’t sound excited about the prospect.”
“You want the truth?”
Mantis nodded. “Always.”
“I don’t have anywhere else to go.”
“You could come home with me.”
“To Darien?”
“Why not? How long has it been since you’ve seen my family? I know they’d love to see you.”
“Wouldn’t it be…uncomfortable?”
“You mean because you’re with Dutch now?”
She shrugged. “More that you and I aren’t together.”
“It’ll give us practice.”
Alegria laughed. “At what?”
“Being friends.”
Faced with going to a cold and empty apartment where she hadn’t spent more than a week in God knew how long, or going to visit Mantis’ family, whom she adored, her choice was easy to make.
“Sure, I’d love to go with you.”
Mantis’ smile made her toes curl. He was right about them needing practice being friends, given right now she wanted to fall into his arms and never leave.
—:—
Just because Alegria had agreed to go home with him didn’t mean anything between them had changed. He’d joked that it would give them practice being friends, but truthfully, he couldn’t stand the idea of saying goodbye to her so soon.
For the first time since he came back from Afghanistan, they’d had the kind of conversation they so often used to.
He understood her frustration as well as her concern. In the same position, Mantis doubted he’d be handling it as well as Alegria was, but that was the way it had always been.
There were plenty of times he’d teased her for being French, but he’d always meant it as a compliment. He wondered sometimes if he’d find the women he’d seen in France as captivating if he’d never met Alegria. It wasn’t that he was attracted to them in the same way he was to her—not even the slightest bit. Instead, he watched their mannerisms, their grace, the way they could turn a pout into the sexiest damn thing he’d ever seen, and then light up all those around them with their smile.
Alegria moved like a gazelle—thin, graceful, and quick. Her mind moved that way, as though it went from zero to sixty in a split second.
Unlike other French women he’d known, who picked at their food, his Flygirl had always had a hearty appetite, yet she stayed fit with a workout schedule that had often intimidated him and Dutch.
“Are you going to the gym today?” Dutch asked as they walked across the marble tiles of the Air Force Academy’s Terrazzo. Named for the checkerboard of marble strips that made up the area’s walkways, the large pavilion was surrounded by the main buildings in what was known as the cadet area.
As freshmen, or doolies, he and Dutch had had to run on those marble strips during passing periods, slinging their backups over one shoulder like all the fourth-class cadets were required to do. In the winter, the marble became slick, resulting in more than one cadet taking a tumble every day.
Now, as third-class cadets, or sophomores, they were no longer required to run or hold their backpacks a certain way. Instead, they were being trained to be the leaders and mentors of those who came after them.
“Hello?” said Dutch, waving his hand in front of Gehring’s face.
“What?”
“I asked if you were going to the gym.”
“Nah. I’ve got a big test tomorrow that I need to study for. If I’m done in time, I’ll go later.”
“Chickenshit,” said Dutch, poking him. “You’re just intimidated by Frenchie’s workout routine.”
“Don’t call her that; she hates it. And you’re wrong. I need to study.”
“Yeah, well, I need to say a few prayers that I pass my PT test tomorrow.” Dutch pointed at the cadet chapel that sat on the west side of the Terrazzo.
It was both the most recognizable building at the United States Air Force Academy and the most visited man-made tourist attraction in the state of Colorado. The aluminum, glass, and steel structure featured seventeen spires that shot one hundred and fifty feet into the sky like jets on a vertical ascent.
After graduation, many of the newly commissioned second lieutenants got married there before leaving for their first assignment.
“Tell you what, you go pray, and I’ll go study, and maybe later you, me, and Manon can meet up.”
“Gotta love a girl who can kick your ass,” Dutch muttered, laughing while he walked away.
Dutch had been right, Alegria could’ve kicked his ass then, and probably still could. It was only one of ten thousand things he loved about her. Or that he used to love about her. She wasn’t his to love anymore. She wa
s Dutch’s now, and Mantis had to respect the man who had always showed him the utmost consideration.
As hard as it was going to be to finally let her go, what choice did he have? He’d destroyed every chance they’d had to make it work. She’d warned him again and again that if he didn’t listen, didn’t put her first for once in their relationship, she would leave him for good. It wasn’t as though he called her bluff. He’d left because he had a mission he needed to complete. It wasn’t a choice for him even though she insisted it was.
Now that the mission was over, it was too late. On top of it, he knew that if he had to do it all over again, he’d make the same decisions. He owed it to his family. He’d wished then, like he wished now, that she understood, but she hadn’t, and no amount of wishing would change that.
—:—
“What are you thinking about?” she asked Mantis as they got in the car that would take them to the airfield.
He smiled. “How much of a total badass you are.”
“I’m not feeling very badass these days.” She looked out the window at the planes taking off and landing, missing it more than she could put words to. The idea that she may never fly again crushed her.
“We’ll get you back in the cockpit,” Mantis said, the little finger of his hand barely brushing hers as they sat next to each other in the back seat.
She shook her head, afraid to hope he was right, but praying he was.
Chapter 11
Dutch
It felt like he’d been punched in the gut, but Dutch knew, deep in his heart, that he was doing the right thing by leaving, even if it meant lying about a mission he hadn’t yet been assigned.
He’d asked the driver to pull into the parking lot across from the restaurant and park. From there he saw Mantis and Alegria leave, their body language telling him everything he needed to know to confirm he was doing the right thing.
That Alegria was leaving with Mantis was confirmation enough. There was a chance he was simply giving her a ride back to the terminal so she could catch a flight to JFK, but something told him that wasn’t what was going on. He’d bet anything that Mantis had asked her to fly to Westchester with him, and they were headed to the airfield.
He considered, only for a moment, asking the driver to follow them, but he didn’t. Instead, he told the man he could go ahead and take him to the long-term parking lot where his own vehicle sat waiting for his long and lonely drive back to his empty house in Newport News.
Alegria wasn’t the only woman he’d ever loved, just the one he loved the most.
Before Mantis left for his final mission to Afghanistan; before Dutch learned that he and Alegria had called it quits; before she called him from a local bar, crying and begging him to meet her there—he’d had someone else in his life.
Just like Mantis chose the mission over Alegria, Dutch had chosen Alegria over Malin.
She hadn’t protested like Alegria had with Mantis; she’d just accepted his choice.
“She needs you,” she’d said that night. “Go.”
Every call he’d made to her after that night, every text, and every email he’d sent had gone unanswered.
It was no different than what Mantis had gone through when he returned from his mission and Alegria refused to talk to him.
There was no chance for him and Malin after that night. He’d known that before he walked out the door. As far as being lonely, he had no one to blame but himself.
Chapter 12
Mantis and Alegria
“This is the plane Doc sent?”
“Yep. Looks that way,” Mantis answered, as surprised as Alegria was. Before them sat a Cirrus SF50 Vision Jet.
“When did K19 acquire it?”
He had no idea. With a price tag of two million bucks easy, the plane didn’t compromise a damn thing, and evidently, K19 hadn’t either.
As they approached the aircraft, Mantis opened the single door on the left side of the plane. The bifold design opened to reveal a good-sized entry area.
“Go ahead,” he said to Alegria, motioning for her to take the front co-pilot seat.
“Wow,” she said, running her hands over the supple leather. “This is something else.”
Mantis agreed as he got situated. The jet had a lot of head and shoulder room and a windscreen that was divided in the middle. The forward visibility was amazing while the side view was nothing short of spectacular.
The avionics suite featured two big fourteen-inch displays up front while a step below and closer to him and Alegria, were three touch-controller displays that had been mounted sideways.
“Look at these,” Alegria said, pointing to the side-sticks on the left and right that traveled fore and aft like a more conventional yoke. “It’s like a dream.”
Mantis nodded, working his way through the pre-flight checks only to realize that most of it had been automated.
“I could get used to this,” he murmured. He initiated the start sequence and watched as the system ran its own series of checks on everything from TAWS to fire suppression. He moved the dial from the OFF position to RUN, and the single engine started itself.
“You can see everything,” Alegria commented on their forward taxi visibility.
Mantis nodded again and waited for clearance to take-off.
Soon they were in the air. The view was amazing, and he wasn’t talking about the one outside of the aircraft. He watched as Alegria studied the touch controllers, customizing the views as though she were flying the plane herself. He’d give anything to let her, but even if he broke the rules and did, he knew she wouldn’t accept his offer.
She sat back in her seat and looked out the oval-shaped windows at the clouds below them.
“Hey,” he said, and she looked over at him.
She smiled. “Hey.”
It felt so much like old times he almost reached over and took her hand in his. This was what he meant by practicing. He had to get used to not taking her hand, not kissing her, not climbing in bed next to her, and not feeling her naked body under his.
He looked away, silently cursing how wrong it had gone between them, and knowing he only had himself to blame. All she’d wanted was for him to choose her over the mission, and he hadn’t been able to.
“The doctor said I might not be able to fly again.”
Mantis heard her even though she was looking away from him.
“What do you think?”
“Over my dead body.”
Mantis smiled. “That’s my girl.” Only she wasn’t, was she? She was Dutch’s girl now.
He couldn’t see her face, so he didn’t know if she’d caught his gaff and ignored it, or if she simply hadn’t heard him.
Their estimated time enroute, or ETE, was one hour and fifty minutes. There were no storms on the horizon, and Manon “Alegria” Mondreau was seated in the plane, next to him. There was a time he would’ve taken it all for granted, other than the jet they were flying. Now, it was a situation he might never find himself in again.
“I can help,” he ventured.
“What’s that?”
“I can help you get medical clearance.”
“Is bribery involved?”
Mantis laughed. “No, but hard work might be.”
“What are you proposing?”
“The Cirque d’Alegria.”
“A circus?”
“Yeah, that didn’t work, did it? Um, how about the Flygirl Olympics?” It’s what they’d called it back when he’d had his own surgery and had been unable to fly—the Praying Mantis Olympics. She’d pushed him damn hard back then, and it had paid off.
“Are you joking or are you serious?”
He wanted to reach over and soothe the hurt he saw in her brow. “I’m serious. You need to get your wings back.”
“What if there’s a mission?”
Her question stung, but he understood why she asked it.
“Until you’re cleared to get back in the air, I won’t sign with K19.�
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“Why?”
“You’d do the same for me, wouldn’t you?”
Alegria gave him a sideways glance. “Now I know you’re kidding.”
They’d always been fiercely competitive—textbook type A’s—starting before they even knew they’d both been tagged for pilot training.
“In a moment of weakness maybe,” he said.
Alegria laughed. God, he loved that sound.
“You helped me all those years ago.”
“Things were different then,” she said, the smile leaving her face.
“Not so different.” Mantis couldn’t stop himself. He reached over and squeezed her hand with his. “Let me help you.”
She didn’t pull her hand away, so he rubbed the back of it with his thumb. The too-intimate caress jarred her, and she moved her hand to her lap.
“Mantis—”
“Think about it.”
—:—
What was he doing to her, and why was he doing it? Was it only because she was with Dutch now? If he won her back, would he take her for granted and cast her aside like he had before? Would he take on the next mission that came his way once he knew she’d be waiting in his bed when, and if, he came home?
She couldn’t do it. Not again.
“I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry,” she heard him say.
“What?”
“I shouldn’t have touched your hand…that way.”
She waited for him to continue.
“What I’m proposing is that we do this as friends. I promise not to cross the line again.”
He’d barely sneaked a toe over the line, but she knew what he meant. If she let him help her, they had to define boundaries and never cross them.
“Apology accepted.”
“Does that mean you’ll also accept my help?”
“It means I’ll think about it.” She looked over at him, but he wasn’t looking at her. “Mantis?”
“Yeah?” he answered.
Mantis (K19 Security Solutions Book 4) Page 5