Beholden to You

by Sexton, Carlie

  When I hung up I wanted to get on the next flight out and stake my claim to Natalie. Show the asshole that he didn’t stand a chance with her. That she was mine. My phone ringing brought me back to my reality.

  “Hey, Mitch. What’s up?”

  “Man, you need to get back here like yesterday. Charlie just got home and she told me that Natalie’s ex Ty is the new ADA. He made a move on her. He wants her back. Natalie needs you now.”

  “Natalie just told me about Ty being back, but she didn’t say that anything happened. What did he do?”

  “That bastard kissed her.”

  “What the fuck?”

  “Natalie probably didn’t want to upset you. She’s so used to handling things on her own. But, I don’t think she can handle Ty on her own. I’m worried about her, Mac.”

  “Okay, thanks man. I’ll work on getting home.”

  “I don’t want anything, or anyone, to hurt Natalie…just get home soon.”

  ***

  During my meeting, it was hard to concentrate. I just hoped that my relationship could survive Ty’s return. I didn’t blame him for wanting her back. She was kind, loving, generous, submissive, classy, sexier than hell. I ached just thinking about her. I was a little worried Natalie hadn’t told me herself about Ty’s advances. Either she was afraid of my reaction or…God, I couldn’t even fathom that…she wanted him, too.

  I had never considered that my love wouldn’t be enough. I knew Nat loved me, but I also knew that at times, when someone is most vulnerable, like she was at that moment, it was easy to fall into the arms of someone with whom you’ve had history. She was willing to move across the other side of the country for the man. Fuck. I didn’t want to not trust her, but we have had a whirlwind romance. Would she consider leaving me? I willed myself to stop thinking about the worst-case scenario, and focus on what I needed to do to get the fuck out of there.

  Chapter 35: Natalie

  Waking up to the sound of the alarm was so unwelcomed. I had tossed and turned all night, sleep eluding me. Two men occupied my mind and I was feeling guilty about not telling Mac everything. But how could I tell my husband that my old flame kissed me? That he wants me back? Mac would have flipped out.

  Placing my hand on my stomach, I wondered. Damn it. I felt so confused. My emotions were running wild and I just wanted Mac to be there with me. I needed his strength, his love, his embrace. I didn’t want to face Ty alone. I couldn’t be alone with him. I didn’t trust my own feelings, because part of me wanted to kiss him back yesterday. The voice in my head—the voice that had always guided my life, my mother—was telling me to flee temptation. Honoring my marriage was more important than my conflicted feelings. I knew that’s what she would say to me if she were alive.

  My phone lit up. It was Beverly. Thank God, the other voice in my head. Why hadn’t I called her?

  “Hi Beverly,” I said, attempting to sound cheerful, but failing miserably.

  “Hi sweetie, I moved some things around in my schedule so I can go to the courthouse with you the rest of the week if you’d like?”

  That sounded almost too good to be true and tears streamed down my face. “I… . I would really like that,” I choked out.

  “Oh honey, it’s going to be okay. I promise. Do you want me to pick you up or meet you there?”

  “We can meet there. I know I didn’t get to tell you this, but Mac hired security. Long story short, we have had a few challenges. His ex-girlfriend visited me at work and sent me dead flowers. She’s been a little irrational, claiming she would do anything to get Mac back.”

  “What? That sounds insane. So you have a guard with you at all times?”

  “Yes, so Streeter will drive me to the courthouse. I’ll tell you more about it when I see you.”

  “Okay. I’m here for you, sweetie. Anything you need.”

  “There is one other thing you should know. Ty is back and he’s the ADA trying Jessica’s case.”

  “Holy shit. Are you kidding me? He’s back? When did you find this out?”

  “Yesterday, when he walked up to me before the trial started.”

  “Sounds like we have a lot to talk about. I’ll meet you at the courthouse, and at lunch you can tell me everything.”

  “I’d like that. Thanks, Beverly. You had perfect timing, calling when you did. Thank you.”

  Our call ended and I felt relief. I couldn’t have my mom, but I could have the next best thing.

  Walking out of our master bedroom, I saw Streeter checking the interior of the house, making sure nothing was out of the ordinary. It was so strange to have another person in my house, there for the sole purpose of keeping me safe. How had my life become so complicated? A month ago I was a single girl. Now I was a married, pregnant woman, with security protecting me from Mac’s ex. But who was going to protect me from mine? Ty had gotten to me a little yesterday, and I knew he wouldn’t give up easily. But what I couldn’t understand, nor truly forgive, was why had he let me go to begin with?

  We parked at practically the same time as Beverly. She wrapped her arms around me and held me tight. “Thanks for being here.”

  “There’s no place else I’d rather be.”

  I introduced her to Streeter and we made our way inside. Tunnel vision overtook me, and I didn’t notice anything but the man standing at the end of the hall, looking at me, willing me to come to him.

  “Ty, you remember Beverly, don’t you?”

  “Yes, of course,” he said, extending his hand. “It’s nice to see you again.”

  “You too,” Beverly responded, shaking his hand.

  “I see you still have your guard with you.”

  “Yes, I do.” I had actually forgotten all about Streeter standing a few feet behind me.

  “Well, we should make our way in,” Beverly said, as she looked back and forth between Ty and me.

  I nodded and began turning to enter the courtroom. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Ty still watching me.

  During the proceedings, the defense called several witnesses to speak of the good character of Justin, and how much he had cared about Jessica.

  When it was Ty’s turn to cross-examine, he tore their testimonies apart citing Justin’s prior run-ins with the law. I didn’t know what to believe. Was he a misguided good guy or a bad boy? I decided I would accept the jury’s verdict and not dwell on what was out of my control. It seemed like the trial was progressing much faster than I had anticipated, which was a relief. All I could do was hope for expediency, because watching Ty command the courtroom was, quite frankly, mesmerizing. He was such a good litigator, making points that I would never have thought of in a million years.

  Lunch was spent telling Beverly all about my interaction with Ty the day before. She didn’t tell me what to do, instead she asked me what I was going to do. I loved the woman.

  “I’m married to Mac and I plan on staying married to him.”

  “Let me ask you one other question. Do you have any feelings left for Ty?”

  “Feelings left for Ty? Well, I wouldn’t want to see anything bad happen to him, so I have friendly feelings for him, sure. I mean, feelings, what difference does it make, anyway? Just because he professed that he wants me doesn’t mean he gets to have me, or that I want him. So, of course, no feelings. None.” I wasn’t sure if I was trying to convince Beverly or myself by going on and on.

  “I see. So, you didn’t feel anything when he kissed you yesterday?”

  “Well, I had a physical reaction, but that’s only natural. I wasn’t happy he kissed me, I wanted to be released, but he wouldn’t let me go.” I stopped talking, and Beverly and I sat there staring at each other.

  “Sweetie, I’m not going to judge you if you felt something for the first man you ever loved. The intensity in his gaze said it all this morning.”

  “Oh, Beverly. Why did he have to come back? Two days ago, I was walking on air because I have an amazing husband. A man who has done everything in his pow
er to make me happy. The wedding alone…the wedding was the most romantic experience of my life. He has showered love upon me and Ty has ripped me apart, confused me, made me so angry. How could I have any feelings for him?”

  “But, you do.”

  “I know. I’m a horrible person.”

  Beverly put her hand on mine. “You’re not a horrible person. You’re a young woman with a difficult situation. But, after the trial is over, you wouldn’t have to see Ty unless you wanted to.”

  “I know,” I said in a small voice. Was that what I truly wanted?

  We got up to go back to the courtroom. Beverly had given me questions, but no answers. She was helpful, though. She didn’t just tell me what to do; she wanted me to come to my own conclusions. I hadn’t told her one very important piece of information. I hadn’t told her about a little bundle that would be arriving in the very near future.

  “I’m going to stop at the ladies room. I’ll meet you both inside,” I said to Beverly and Streeter.

  “Do you want me to stay out here, Mrs. Carter?”

  “That won’t be necessary. I think I’m pretty safe here in the courthouse.”

  He nodded.

  When I walked out of the ladies room, Ty was standing there, waiting for me.

  “Nat, have dinner with me tonight. I want us to talk.”

  “Ty, I can’t have dinner with you. That would be completely inappropriate.”

  “I don’t care about being appropriate, Natalie. I care about having you back in my life.”

  I rubbed my forehead with my fingers. He was so infuriating. “So, how do you think this is going to go, Ty? Do you think I’m going to just dump my husband, who I love more than life, because you have decided that you want me back? I’m not a teenager. I’m a woman with commitments. I made a promise to Mac, and to God, that I was going to love, honor, and cherish him until death. You’re a great guy with a lot to offer, and I know there are a lot of women out there who would love to have you. You can find someone else. It can’t be me.”

  Ty leaned in closer to me. I could smell the familiar aftershave that he wore when we were together. “I’ve been with lots of someone’s, but none of them were you. None of them tasted like you, smelled intoxicatingly good like you, felt like you. There’s no one, but you.”

  I thought I was going to faint from Ty’s words and proximity. “Um. Ty, you’re too late.”

  “We’re both still alive, so it’s never too late.”

  With that statement, he turned and walked back into the courtroom. His words were echoing in my brain. If I meant that much to him, why did he leave me? I didn’t think I would ever get the answer to my question. But, I hadn’t even taken the time to ask. Would I be satisfied in getting his answer? Did I really want to know how he could just leave me?

  The afternoon flew by, and it looked like the trial would be wrapped up sooner than anticipated. I was so grateful. I would be able to put the ordeal behind me, and get as far away from Ty as I could. I hated that he had left me breathless with his earlier proclamation.

  Beverly brought me out of my reverie. “Do you want some company tonight? You could come to the house, or I could come over.”

  “Thanks, but I think I need to be alone. Plus, I didn’t sleep well last night, so I want to get to bed early.”

  When I got home, I told Streeter I was going to lie down for a few minutes. I got into bed and the next thing I knew, it was five in the morning. I hadn’t talked to Mac, and I began looking for my phone. I found it on the island, next to my purse. I had several texts from him and three messages. I hoped that he had contacted Streeter when he couldn’t reach me.

  I didn’t listen to his messages, I just texted him letting him know I had fallen asleep and just woken up. Mac replied that he was in a meeting, but he had called Streeter when he didn’t hear back from me. I breathed a sigh of relief knowing that everything was okay with my husband.

  Beverly met me again at the courthouse. I managed to duck Ty before going in and taking a seat. I debated telling Streeter to keep Ty away from me, but I didn’t want to cause a scene. My resolve when I woke up was very strong, and I wasn’t going to let him get to me. If there was one thing I knew, God had brought Mac Carter into my life and given me the blessing of our baby. To give me strength, I kept glancing at the picture on my phone of Mac and myself on our wedding day. Looking at it kept me centered.

  Before lunch, both Ty and the defense attorney gave their closing arguments. Now Justin’s life was in the hands of the jury. Justin had kept his eyes downcast throughout the trial, showing his remorse over Jessica’s death. The whole thing was a tragedy and I didn’t know how years in prison would fix any of it. Justin’s life would only become worse and I didn’t think I would feel any better.

  The time had come for the jury to deliberate and the judge dismissed everyone, saying that we would be notified when the jury had reached a verdict. I think I was the first one to stand up when the bailiff said, “All rise.” I just wanted to get the hell out of there and avoid Ty at all cost. But, Ty reached me as we were walking through the doors to enter the hallway.

  “Natalie,” he called.

  I looked at him but didn’t respond.

  “I need to speak to you. It’s important.”

  “Is it about the case?”

  “No, it’s about something else.”

  “Ty, there’s nothing left to say.”

  “Natalie, I found out some information that you need to know. Please, hear me out.”

  “Ty, I’m done. I’ve gotta go. Goodbye.” I walked away briskly and used Streeter as a wall between us.

  “What do you think that was about?” Beverly asked as we walked to our cars.

  “I have no idea and I don’t care. He’s my past and I need to focus on my future.”

  “Good, honey. You’re making the right decision,” Beverly said, as she hugged me goodbye.

  “Thanks Beverly. I needed to hear that.”

  ***

  My things from the condo were delivered about an hour after I got home from court. It was everything but the furniture and Jessica’s personal belongings. I had no idea when I would go through her things, but I knew I wanted to do it before the baby came. Having that hanging over my head wasn’t the way I wanted to begin motherhood. The boxes had been labeled and put into the appropriate rooms. Unpacking was easy, as Mac had plenty of space for me to put things away. I had the most fun organizing my incredible closet, only filling about a third of the space. It was cathartic to have something to occupy my thoughts and take up some time.

  I texted Mac to tell him what had transpired throughout the day. He didn’t reply, but I wasn’t surprised. He was busy working and I just wanted him to finish what he had to do so he could come home.

  The doorbell rang and Streeter answered before I entered the living room. Hearing the voice on the other side of the door, I realized Ty had come to my home.

  “Streeter, it’s okay. You can let him in.” I needed to put an end to this. Immediately.

  “Natalie, I’m sorry to barge in like this, but I have to talk to you about your husband.”

  “What? Why do you want to talk about my husband?”

  “Can we sit down? I think you’re going to want to sit to hear this.”

  “Sure,” I said, exhaling sharply. Ty followed me into the great room. I sat in a chair, while he took the sofa.

  “How well do you know your husband?”

  “I don’t know how that is any of your business. Ty, just get to the point.”

  “Alright. The point is Mac had to get married as part of his trust.”

  I heard the words, but they didn’t seem real. It was like everything had turned into slow motion and I sat there, staring at Ty.

  “Natalie, did you hear me?”

  “Yes. I can’t believe you would come into my home and make up a story like that.” The look in Ty’s eyes told me he wasn’t lying, though. I wasn’t sure my heart could
take it.

  “Nat…”

  “How did you find out about this?”

  “The last couple of days, I had my assistant researching Mac. I know everything about him, including that he had to get married to keep control of his company.”

  Placing my head in my hands, I felt like I was having an out-of-body experience. Ty came to me and knelt before me. Looking up at him, I whispered, “Do you have any proof?”

  He pulled an envelope out of his coat pocket and handed it to me. I looked at the copy of the document stating the perimeters of the trust. He had highlighted for me the area specifying the marriage clause.

  I wanted to cry, scream, punch something. My jaw tightened and my heart began racing. The whole time I kept searching Mac’s eyes for the truth, believing his sincerity, giving myself to him. I was pregnant with his child. Could I get past this and trust him again? Did he even love me? I had no idea.

  “Nat, I’m sorry, but he doesn’t love you. He tricked you into marrying him.” Ty managed to scoot me over and sit next to me in the oversized chair. He wrapped his arms around me, my body leaned into his, and there I was, in his arms—exactly where he wanted me to be. “I love you, Natalie. I just want a chance to prove myself. I won’t hurt you again. You have my word.”

  I didn’t respond to Ty. My mind was overrun with thoughts, words, images, uncertainty. I didn’t know how I was still breathing. The information on Mac hit me so hard.

  Chapter 36: Mac

  I had one of the other guards pick me up at the airport. I had just walked away from the merger, blown off a huge deal, to come home to be with Natalie. It’s what I should have done to begin with. I told Jack Merrick that I had a family emergency and I had to go. I didn’t wait around to know if he understood or not. There would be other deals to be made in the future with other companies, but I could never replace Natalie if I lost her. I know, all too well, that family is more important than business.