Instant Family

by Donna Gartshore

  Oh, Lord, he would make such a good father...

  Family—the word sounded in Frankie’s heart like the verse of an unfinished song.

  Chapter Twenty

  About a week later, Ben asked Irma’s permission to have Danny over for supper.

  “By all means, if you want to have him,” Irma said, sounding startled. “I hope he’s been behaving at the work site?”

  “He’s doing great,” Ben assured her. “He listens well and catches on very quickly. Others have said so, too.”

  Irma thanked him and they made arrangements that Ben would bring Danny back no later than nine o’clock.

  As they walked to the cabins together, Danny chatted about the work they had done that day and Ben could tell from the boy’s tone that he was proud of what they had accomplished. It was almost like he had forgotten he was paying his dues and was simply excited about the work itself. Although he had relapses, he had already come quite a ways from the bitter, sullen boy they had first met.

  Thank You, Lord, Ben prayed, for the work You do in people...even when they don’t know You’re working.

  But, the truth was, he was having a very difficult time these days figuring out exactly how God was working in his own life. He had always thought he was managing okay by keeping his focus on his dad and not fretting about what he himself might be missing. He had long ago convinced himself that this was the way things had to be. Sure, there were lonely moments and moments of wondering what-if, but, for the most part, those feelings were easy enough to keep at bay.

  Then Frankie and Rae had been dropped unexpectedly into his life, and each day his acceptance of the status quo was challenged.

  There was no denying that Frankie captured many of his thoughts as the days went by—and her bright, sunlit hair, expressive brown eyes and those soft, soft lips were only part of it. More often than not—and, somehow, this was even more confusing—he found himself thinking about the way she lifted her chin when she was being stubborn, the way she spoke to Rae with such utter love and the deepest kind of acceptance, and the way he could see more and more easily the way her vulnerabilities lurked beneath her aloof exterior. Yet, she pushed on and did her best to live the life she wanted to live.

  But the question remained why. Why had the Lord brought someone into his life who was possibly changing the very core of what he felt he could live with—or without—if there was no purpose to it? And Ben didn’t see how there could possibly be a purpose, not for him.

  “Will she?” Danny’s anxious voice broke into his voice as they neared the cabins.

  “Sorry, Danny,” Ben said, “I got a little lost in thought there. Will who what?”

  “Will your wife mind that I’m coming for supper?”

  Ben’s heart played ping-pong. Clearly he couldn’t let Danny go on thinking that he and Frankie were married, or even in a relationship.

  “Danny, Frankie isn’t my wife,” Ben said. “As a matter of fact I didn’t even know her before this summer. She and her daughter, Rae, are staying at the cabin across from ours.”

  He suddenly thought about how he and Frankie had met on that first day and how the boy who had wreaked the havoc was about to be his dinner guest. The Lord was either the most masterful chess player of all time, Ben thought wryly, or He had a very interesting sense of humor.

  Danny shook his head slowly back and forth, with a flabbergasted look on his face. “That’s so weird,” he mumbled.

  “What is?”

  “Oh, nothin’.” Danny shrugged awkwardly.

  Ben put his hand on the boy’s shoulder. “Danny, if there’s something on your mind I want you to feel free to say it.”

  “Well...” the boy said slowly, “it’s just that when you were at Gran’s I wished that my mom and dad got along like you guys did.”

  The words hit a chord in Ben that he had not fully known he had but was becoming increasingly familiar with.

  Danny shook his head back and forth again.

  “You really just met this summer?”

  “We did,” Ben affirmed.

  “Weird... But you like her, right?”

  Ben was saved from having to answer when the subject of their discussion came out onto the deck to greet them.

  “Al’s had a good afternoon,” Frankie said, before Ben could ask. “Rae’s inside with him setting the table. Hi Danny, welcome. Come on in.”

  Frankie had her hair piled up messily on her head, wore cutoffs and a lime-green blouse, and had what looked like a dab of salad dressing on one cheek. But something about the sight of her standing in the doorway of his cabin, greeting a guest like she belonged there, caused Ben’s breath to catch.

  I do like her, Ben silently answered Danny’s question. I like her very much.

  “Thanks again for staying with Dad,” Ben said as he followed her inside. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

  His words swung in the air between them and seemed to echo back to him, but Frankie didn’t break her stride into the kitchen.

  “I enjoy doing it,” she offered over her shoulder as she scrubbed her hands at the kitchen sink. “The more I’m with your dad, the more I’m convinced that I need to get more education so I can do more—help more.” Her eyes lit up with an inner determination. “I feel sometimes like a person could keep learning forever and I can’t wait to start.”

  “You can do it, Frankie,” Ben encouraged, thoroughly enjoying the way her self-confidence had blossomed. “I know that you can do anything you set your mind to.”

  Her cheeks flushed slightly in the way he loved. “Thanks,” she said. She added flippantly, as if quenching her own pleasure in his compliments, “Everyone can use a good cheerleader in their lives. Here—” she stepped to one side “—I’ll let you get at the sink. Rae, how’s the table coming along?”

  “Good,” Rae said. “I set it all by myself.” She directed this addendum to Danny, who had joined Al in the activity of folding napkins.

  “Well, goody for you,” Danny drawled.

  Ben sensed Frankie going into feisty mode and preparing for battle. He managed to catch her eye with a look that said, Let’s just see how this plays out.

  “You know,” Rae replied in a surprisingly calm voice. “You don’t have to be so mean.”

  The boy looked slightly startled, obviously not getting the reaction he had hoped for. Ben exchanged another glance with Frankie and saw that her concern had been replaced by curiosity seasoned with a dollop of amusement.

  “My mom explained to me that when people feel bad about something, sometimes they want to say and do things that make other people feel bad, too,” Rae went on in her clear, bright voice. “My parents are divorced, too,” she informed the boy, who now looked shell-shocked. “But you don’t see me doing and saying stupid things.”

  “Rae!” Frankie cautioned automatically. But Ben could tell she was struggling not to laugh. He was feeling much the same way. This time they were very careful not to look at each other.

  Lord, is this what it would feel like if we were watching our own kids bicker and trying to be firm when we thought something was funny?

  Wow, Danny’s remarks had really got inside his head, Ben thought.

  “I could show you my art,” Rae said.

  Danny hesitated and darted a look around the room like he was seeking help.

  “Uh...sure,” he said.

  After securing Frankie’s permission, Rae dashed back to her own cabin and returned with a couple of small pieces: a chipmunk contemplating the peanut it held between its paws with its head at a saucy angle and a ladybug making its way up the underside of the leaf.

  Danny looked at the pictures and Frankie and Ben watched as his reluctance slowly turned to interest and admiration.

  “You’re good!” he exclaimed.

  “I a
m,” Rae agreed calmly.

  She began to point out some particular facets that she wanted Danny to notice, and soon they were engrossed in conversation as if they had always been friends.

  “Your girl is something,” Ben said under his breath to Frankie, who turned to him then with what seemed like his own thoughts echoed in her eyes—life was full of surprises and you just never knew for sure how things were going to turn out.

  He wondered if God was trying to tell him something.

  * * *

  The evening had passed quickly and pleasantly enough. They had enjoyed barbecued steak, accompanied by foil packets of vegetables and baked potatoes. Danny had eaten with enthusiasm and had shown that he had learned some manners somewhere along the line after all, with plenty of “please” and “thank you.” It had been a delightful surprise to watch Rae and Danny bond and talk openly about a number of things, and between the two of them they had kept Al content and occupied. Yes, Frankie felt like the Lord’s hand had definitely been in that gathering.

  So, why was she feeling disgruntled the next day?

  While Al, Rae and Danny had hovered over a puzzle at the table, she and Ben had been in the kitchen doing the dishes. Frankie had just been thinking that it felt both painfully and pleasantly domestic, when Ben had told her what Danny had said about them. He hadn’t looked at her when he’d said it and, at first, she didn’t look at him. But she knew that the hand holding the towel on a dish had stilled and it seemed for a moment that they had both stopped breathing. And when they had finally looked at each other, the questions in his eyes had belied the light tone he was striving for.

  But she still didn’t know what answers he was looking for or if she would be able to give them.

  After a pause, Ben had snapped back into motion, putting the dish away in the cupboard above his head and talking about paint color choices. And, somehow, Frankie had felt she’d been offered a delicious dessert, but the plate had been snatched away before she could decide if she wanted it or not.

  After she had dropped Rae off at class, listening with a distracted ear to how she was going to teach Danny to draw noses, she picked up a coffee at the Beachfront Confectionery bakery and sat at a bench by the water.

  Lord, I thought I knew what I wanted—and what I didn’t want. But I’m not sure anymore. Please be a light to my pathway.

  “You look deep in thought.”

  Frankie started at the voice, then laughed at herself.

  “You caught me asking the Lord to make sense of something for me,” she told Lydia, who studied her with an interested look.

  Lydia gave a grunt of acceptance and sat down on the bench. “Well, that can be a good idea sometimes. Want to talk about it?”

  “I appreciate the offer, but I wouldn’t even know where to start. How’s it going at the center?” Frankie asked, to change the subject.

  “Pretty good,” Lydia said. “I actually volunteered to come down here to get coffee for the workers because it looked like such a beautiful morning, and then I spotted you and wanted to say hi.”

  “It is a beautiful morning,” Frankie agreed. Silently, though, she thought the air had the slight, almost indecipherable note that signaled the change of weather in August, and had, even as a child, made her ache with small regrets she didn’t understand.

  She swallowed and asked, “How’s Danny getting along?”

  “Surprisingly well,” Lydia said. “It’s obvious he feels terrible about what he did and he really wants to learn. And, of course, Ben is a huge help to him. He’s a very decent guy, that Ben. But you know that...”

  Frankie felt her face grow warm as scrutiny narrowed Lydia’s eyes. This was followed by a light of understanding.

  “That’s what you’re thinking about!” Lydia declared. “Or I should say who.”

  “I’m not...” Frankie protested feebly.

  “Oh, come on, Frankie. If you think your face is anything but an open book, you’d better think again. Besides, it’s pretty clear to anyone who sees the two of you together that you’re crazy about each other.”

  For a brief flash, Frankie felt as if a candle had been lit inside her, shedding light, spreading warmth. Then she recalled the reality of the situation.

  “Well, it doesn’t matter,” she said, hearing the stiffness and the self-protective dismissal in her own voice. “Ben has his own things going on with his dad and, besides, despite what you think you see, he’s never said anything to me. I expect we’ll go our separate ways at the end of summer and that will be that.”

  “But have you said anything to him?” Lydia asked.

  The question caused Frankie to do an inner stumble.

  “Have I said anything to...?”

  “Have you told Ben how you feel? Have you said that you want to see where this goes after the summer?”

  “I...I don’t know what I really want.” Frankie shook her head.

  “I think you do know,” Lydia prodded, in her blunt but well-meaning way. “You know, Frankie, not all men are created equal, and you can’t spend the rest of your life judging the merits of all on the mistakes of one.”

  “I do know Ben’s a good guy,” Frankie agreed. “I know he’s probably exactly the kind of guy I’d be looking for—if I was looking. But the timing is all wrong.” She watched the hand that wasn’t holding her coffee flail with frustration and she willed it to be still.

  “You know what I think?” Lydia said. “I think that there are situations when we have to make our own timing. And I think that if you don’t make the time to talk to Ben—I mean really talk—about how you’re both feeling and see if you can get something figured out, you’ll always regret it. Listen, I have to run. But think about what I said, okay?”

  Frankie nodded mutely, feeling like she’d been dashed with a cold, bracing bucket of water.

  She spent the rest of the day in a futile attempt to keep her mind occupied enough to not have to give Lydia’s words serious consideration. But they had nestled into her mind as snugly and determinedly as a bear in its cave getting ready for winter, and by the time she picked Rae up from art class, she knew there was no getting around it: she would never be at peace in her own mind until she sat down with Ben and they decided together what—if anything—they wanted from each other when summer was over.

  “You know we’re only here for a couple more weeks,” she couldn’t help mentioning to Rae, as if she was practicing for her conversation with Ben.

  “I know,” Rae said breezily. “It’ll be kind of a bummer, but I’m getting everybody’s email addresses and my art instructor is going to call a friend of hers in Regina and make sure I keep getting help with my art.”

  “That sounds great,” Frankie murmured as they crossed a street, being mindful of cyclists.

  “Does Ben have email?” Rae asked suddenly.

  “I’m sure he does.”

  There hadn’t been any talk of sharing supper that evening, and Frankie was just as glad to have relative quiet to try to prepare what she would say to Ben. Thankfully, Rae was easy to please, and they were eating soup and sandwiches together when there was a tap on their cabin door.

  Rae jumped up to get the door and announced, “Mom, it’s Ben.”

  Frankie stood up and wiped her moist hands on her shorts, feeling suddenly nervous.

  But as soon as she saw the look on his face, any thought of having a meaningful talk about their future immediately fled.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked. “Is it your dad?”

  “No, no,” Ben quickly reassured her. “He’s fine, but I would like to talk to you about something. I’m sorry to interrupt your supper.”

  “Oh no, that’s fine. Come in.”

  “I won’t stay long. Danny came back with me again and he’s with Dad.”

  “Should Rae...?”

  “
No, I think it’s fine if she hears this,” Ben said. “Hi, Rae.”

  “Hi, Ben.”

  “Come sit down.” Frankie jittered, pulling out another kitchen chair.

  “What is it?” she asked.

  “I had a phone call from Irma today,” Ben said. “She heard from Colin and he’s decided that he’s going to talk to the judge again and take Danny back with him to Saskatoon. Colin will be here in two days.”

  “Can he do that?” Frankie asked. Rae stirred her spoon through her soup, listening.

  “Apparently so,” Ben said, one hand agitating his hair. “The courts released him to the care of a parent and/or guardian and there was no stipulation on where the volunteer work had to be completed, only the judge’s recommendation.”

  “But it only makes sense to have it completed here,” Frankie protested. “And Danny is doing so well with you and with everything. I feel he actually has a chance to really change here, not just put in the hours and walk away.”

  “You don’t have to convince me,” Ben said. “I completely agree with you, and that’s really what I want to talk to you about. Irma asked me if I thought there was any possible way I could talk Colin into letting Danny stay, and I hoped that you could help me.”

  “Me? I could—I could try,” Frankie said. “What would you want me to do?”

  “I was hoping you’d go with me to meet with Colin when he arrives to pick up Danny,” Ben explained. “I thought if you told him how good Danny was with Dad and explained how that youth-senior pairing program works that he might give some more consideration to what would really help Danny in the long run.”

  “So, you said Colin will be here in two days?”

  “Yes, I know I haven’t given you much time to think about it. I would have told you sooner if I’d been able to.”

  “What about Al? What will he do?”

  “I’ve already made arrangements at the care home,” Ben said. “I feel I have to talk to Colin, regardless, and I don’t know exactly what time or how long it will take. So, it’s better just to have Dad attended to for the day.”