White Tiger

by Kylie Chan

  To have him turn to me and hold me, his strong arms around me. To feel him next to me, to press myself against his warmth…

  I grasped the door handle.

  No. It wouldn’t be right. He’d made his choice and I had to respect it.

  I just wanted to find a cup to have a drink of water, that was all. I took my hand away and headed towards the kitchen.

  After I woke the next morning I quietly checked on Simone. She was still asleep, so I left her. She needed the rest.

  I passed the training room on the way back to the kitchen. The door was ajar; I moved to close it.

  They sat cross-legged on the mats, facing each other, their hands out and their palms together. Their eyes were closed and a glowing nimbus of silvery energy surrounded them.

  I quietly closed the door and went into the kitchen to find some breakfast. Leo was already there. I poured myself some coffee from his pot.

  When I sat he showed me an article on page five of the newspaper.

  A fire has severely damaged the palace of Yuzhengong at Wudangshan in Hubei province. Because of the remote nature of the palace, many parts of it were burned to the ground before fire crews could arrive. No one was hurt, but many Ming Dynasty (14th- to 17th-century) structures were destroyed.

  The palace is one of the pinnacles of Chinese art and architecture, representing the finest examples from a period of over 1000 years. The palaces, halls and temples are some of the greatest achievements of the Yuan, Ming and Qing dynasties. The palace is situated on the slopes of the Wudang Mountains in Hubei province and contains Taoist buildings from as early as the 7th century. The palace was a World Heritage Listed site.

  ‘What, the journalists didn’t see the demons? Are they invisible or something?’

  ‘The demons attacked the Mountain on a higher plane,’ Leo said. ‘The one at Wudangshan reflected the damage. At least that’s my understanding of it. You ever been there? Wudangshan?’

  I shook my head.

  ‘It’s a really amazing place. The whole Palace clings to the side of the mountain. There’s a little temple right on top of the mountain, made of gilded copper with a gold roof, with a statue of him,’ he nodded towards the door, ‘inside. Love to see that. The one on the Celestial Plane, I mean.’

  ‘Maybe one day he’ll be able to take you.’

  ‘He won’t be taking anyone,’ Leo said with bitter finality. ‘He’ll hang around until Simone’s ready, and then he’ll go.’

  I sighed. ‘Most of the Mountain on the higher plane is gone anyway.’

  ‘It’ll be killing him,’ Leo said. ‘It was bad enough when he couldn’t go there. Now that it’s been destroyed I hate to think how he’s being affected. The Mountain is a part of him.’

  ‘And that part of him has been destroyed with it.’

  Leo dropped his head.

  Ms Kwan came in, and Monica made her a pot of tea. Ms Kwan seemed tired.

  ‘Are you okay?’ I said after Monica had moved away. ‘You’ve been holding human form for a long time.’

  ‘I spend most of my time human,’ she said. ‘I wander the world. I care for you all.’

  I nodded understanding. It was one thing to give your life for another, but she gave her whole Immortal existence to serve humanity.

  ‘Ms Kwan,’ Leo said, ‘there’s something we haven’t told him. About the attack.’

  ‘What, Leo?’

  Leo fiddled with his coffee mug. ‘I didn’t tell him about one of the demons that attacked us. It was a Demon Prince.’ He tilted his head, still studying his cup. ‘It was the one that killed Michelle.’

  ‘Do not tell him,’ she said sharply. ‘I will be the one to tell him. He is not ready yet. I think I know the one you mean. It does not have the skill to defeat you, Leo, but it is learning.’

  ‘It broke in and stabbed me in the back in October.’

  ‘I am not surprised,’ Ms Kwan said. ‘It is quite a piece of work.’

  ‘You have no idea,’ I said. ‘It said some things you wouldn’t believe.’

  ‘I would believe it,’ she said. ‘I wish the King had not sworn that foolish oath. To be Number One is a very grand prize for them. They know Ah Wu would swap his head for anything he loves. We must not let it have its hands on Emma or Simone, Leo. You must protect them.’

  ‘So far they’ve only sent small ones to try me out, and I’ve managed to avoid facing them,’ I said. ‘I don’t need Leo’s protection, I can handle it.’

  Ms Kwan hesitated, looking at me, then turned and glared at Leo. ‘She doesn’t know?’

  Leo smiled wryly.

  I looked from one to the other. ‘What don’t I know?’

  Ms Kwan sighed. She picked up the teapot and two cups. ‘Come with me, Emma, we need to talk.’

  ‘Sorry,’ Leo said as we went out.

  ‘You will very shortly receive the sharp edge of my tongue,’ Ms Kwan said without looking back.

  Leo’s voice followed us down the hallway. ‘You don’t have one, Ms Kwan, and you know it.’

  Ms Kwan led me to my room. There was very little evidence of her residence there. She gestured for me to sit on the couch and sat next to me. She poured the tea.

  ‘Now.’ She turned to face me. ‘It is obvious that these stupid men have not told you.’

  ‘Told me what?’ Then I understood. ‘Why he won’t have me. Why won’t he, Ms Kwan? We could have years together! I don’t need anything permanent. I don’t need promises or grand sentiments. If I could just have him for the short time we have left…’ My voice broke and I tried to control it. ‘I don’t need more than that.’

  She passed me the box of tissues from my desk.

  I pulled one out and wiped my eyes. ‘I know he feels the same way! Even the demon said I should go in and wake him up!’

  ‘Emma. Dear Emma.’

  I dropped my head with misery. ‘That’s what he called me in the hospital.’

  ‘I cannot believe these two useless men have not told you, but I should not be surprised. They really will receive the sharp end of my tongue.’

  I shook my head. ‘Leo’s right. You know you don’t have one.’

  ‘In this case I do. Emma, listen carefully. This is most important. Your life is at stake here. You must understand.’

  I glanced up at her.

  She smiled sadly. ‘His feelings for you are as strong as yours are for him. Stronger, if that is possible.’ She sipped her tea. ‘It is strange. After such a very long time without finding someone worthy, he has encountered two, one after the other. It is far too unlikely to be a coincidence. But we must deal with what Fate hands us.’

  ‘I’m worthy? Wait, he feels the same way too?’

  ‘Of course. But he cannot act on his feelings. It would kill you.’

  This stopped me dead. It would kill me?

  ‘If you had gone to him as the demon suggested, you would be dead.’ She poured more tea for us. ‘Emma, if you were to go to him, he would not be able to control himself. He would take you in a second. He would not think twice. He would completely lose control. It is his nature, because of what he is.’

  ‘A Shen?’

  ‘No, a Turtle.’

  I gasped.

  ‘You know it is an insult?’ I nodded.

  ‘You are learning quickly.’ She sipped her tea, then placed her teacup on the table, took my hand and looked into my eyes. ‘Emma, the sharing of love is a sharing of energy. You are young, he is old. You are strong, he is drained. If he were to take you, he would take your energy. He would suck the life out of you and kill you. He would not be able to stop the drain. He would not be able to think at all. Sometimes even the sharing of your feelings through a touch can start the drain. He must be very careful.’

  I stared at her.

  ‘Do you understand, Emma? If you two were to act on your feelings for each other, it would kill you.’ She sighed. ‘He is a fool. He should have dismissed you the moment he knew how he felt for you
. But he has kept you here, because he cares so deeply for you, and because Simone loves you. But you must know, Emma. The more he loves you, the less he will be able to touch you. If he loved you completely he would be unable to touch you at all.’

  ‘He loves me,’ I cried softly. ‘He loves me. I love him. And it can’t happen.’

  ‘It can never be. Do you understand what the demon was trying to achieve when he suggested you go to him?’

  ‘He was trying to get me killed.’ I thumped the table. ‘Damn it! They should have told me! He should at least have asked Leo to tell me! Why didn’t they tell me? You know I nearly went to him? It was a close thing, Ms Kwan, I had my hand on his door.’

  She watched me with compassion.

  ‘If I’d gone in there, I would have been dead by now.’

  I picked up my tea and put it down again. ‘Those two are such idiots sometimes! I am going to strangle them!’

  ‘No,’ Ms Kwan said. ‘I will strangle them first.’ We shared a smile.

  ‘I should have known,’ she said. ‘I had to tell Michelle as well. They were too embarrassed to tell her.’

  ‘Wait,’ I said. ‘He had a child with Michelle. He could touch her. Why could he touch her and not me?’

  ‘He returned to the Mountain regularly while he was married to Michelle,’ she said. ‘He was able to rebuild his energy on the Mountain. Even so, he still had to be very careful.’

  ‘They are so useless!’

  She smiled slightly. ‘Then Simone was born, and he carried both of them to the Mountain. A child may travel to the Celestial Plane under the protection of its mother. Movement to the plane is very stressful for mortals, but the mother protects the child, lends her energy, ensures the child’s safety. Now that Michelle is gone, he cannot return to his Mountain. He cannot leave Simone here without his protection.’

  ‘If that demon had never killed Michelle, none of this would have happened. Simone would still have her mother, and her father would be able to stay with her forever.’

  ‘That is true.’

  ‘I am going to get that demon one day.’

  ‘You are quite remarkable sometimes, Emma.’

  ‘He touches me when we’re training together, Ms Kwan.’ I sighed. ‘I should tell him to stop, shouldn’t I?’

  ‘He knows how far he can take it. While he is teaching you he must concentrate on his beloved Arts and will not hurt you. He has very good control. You can trust him. He knew you would respect his wishes and would not push it.’ She poured more tea. ‘He has spoken of nothing but you since you arrived, Emma. Your courage, your talent, your total devotion to Simone…’

  I could feel my face reddening.

  ‘He is a man in love. And men in love do foolish things.’

  ‘He loves me.’ My heart leapt at the words. ‘He does love me.’ My throat thickened. I lowered my head and shook it. ‘He does.’

  ‘I think we would all understand if you were to decide to leave now, Emma. There is no future in this. I think it would be best if you were to leave and find another.’

  ‘No. Simone needs me. And I want to be with him for the short time we have left.’

  ‘It can never be, Emma. You can never share your feelings. You must be especially careful when you are alone together. Do not show your affection for him too much, dear, you could push him over the edge.’

  ‘I think I must be the happiest woman in the whole world.’

  Her eyes turned inward. ‘Simone has woken. You must care for her, and I must care for him.’

  ‘Let’s go,’ I said, and rose. I couldn’t stop my smile.

  ‘I think,’ she said, smiling sadly, ‘you are as great a fool as he is.’

  ‘Oh, I sincerely hope so.’

  She bundled me into her arms and held me for a while. Then we went out together.

  I returned to the kitchen with the teapot and cups. Leo sat at the table, still watching his coffee. I placed the pot and cups into the sink for Monica.

  I stopped as I passed him on the way out of the kitchen and smartly slapped the back of his bald head. ‘Keep anything important a secret from me ever again and I will tear your arms off.’

  He didn’t move or look up. ‘You are extremely scary sometimes, you know that?’

  ‘You have no idea,’ I growled, and went out.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  Aweek later we all sat quietly at the dinner table. Mr Chen brooded. Simone fiddled with her vegetables. Leo was monosyllabic.

  ‘You need to swim in the sea, Ah Wu,’ Ms Kwan said. Mr Chen didn’t look up. ‘The water is unclean. It would undo everything you have done for me.’

  ‘We are going to Australia the day after tomorrow,’ Ms Kwan said. ‘All of us. Ah Wu, arrange it.’ He glared at her. ‘I can’t go anywhere.’ ‘You will swim in the sea. It is summer there. You will take Simone to the playgrounds.’

  ‘The Northern Heavens must be administered, Mercy. I can’t leave.’

  ‘Your Generals are quite capable, Ah Wu. You are going.’

  He glowered.

  ‘That’s a great idea, Ms Kwan,’ I said. ‘I’ll arrange the plane.’

  ‘You’ll arrange the plane?’ Leo said, incredulous.

  ‘I’ve been through his office. I know what to do.’

  ‘Good,’ Ms Kwan said. ‘I have a place for us to stay, but you will need to bring Monica. I do not have staff there.’

  Mr Chen glared at his vegetables. ‘I will brook no argument, Ah Wu. You need to swim in the sea.’

  He opened his mouth to say something. ‘You’re going,’ I said. ‘You need it.’ He closed his mouth. And that was that.

  As we walked out of Coolangatta airport to the van the fresh warm breeze hit me and ruffled my hair. I breathed deeply; it was good to be out of the pollution of Hong Kong.

  Leo took the keys, opened the van and put the bags in. ‘Road rules?’ he asked me.

  ‘Pretty much the same as Hong Kong, but you can be more polite about waiting at intersections,’ I said. ‘It’s not as busy as back home, so you won’t need to push in. But apart from that, almost identical. You want me to drive?’

  ‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ he said, and opened the door for me and Ms Kwan. ‘Get in.’

  As I buckled Simone up I had a sudden realisation: I’d called Hong Kong home.

  Ms Kwan provided directions. The apartment building we were staying in was massive; it must have been more than twenty storeys. It was south of the main tourist area in a part of the Gold Coast that had fewer highrises, and it overlooked the beach. The penthouse took up the entire top floor of the apartment building, and had a small roof garden with a spa.

  As soon as we entered the apartment Mr Chen went straight out onto the balcony and leaned on the railing, watching the surf below. The fresh breeze lifted his hair.

  The sky was a deep blue, without a single cloud, and the air was clear enough to see the container ships on the horizon. The sea was a deeper blue, and the surf pounded below us. The wide beach stretched to the horizon in both directions.

  I stood in the open-plan kitchen in the centre of the apartment and watched him.

  After Leo had put the bags into the rooms, he came to check out the view. ‘Amazing place. Don’t you miss it?’

  ‘I’ve never lived in anything as exalted as this. We used to come down and stay in pokey hotels. But I miss the fresh air and sunshine.’

  ‘His element is water,’ Leo said. ‘He can’t go into the water at all in Hong Kong. The sea is too polluted. Swimming pools are chlorinated, and poisonous to him. Ms Kwan is a genius to get him here. He probably can’t wait to go in.’

  ‘Well, let’s take him down and put him in the water,’ I said, turning to smile at him.

  ‘We’d better take him shopping first.’ Leo grinned. ‘Unless you want to see him arrested.’

  ‘I need to do some shopping too,’ I said. ‘None of my swimsuits fit me.’

  ‘Yeah, you have lost weight. I did
n’t really notice.’

  ‘Too busy looking at the guys. Don’t worry, there’ll be plenty to look at here.’

  Monica came in and checked the refrigerator. ‘I hope I can find the right Chinese ingredients here.’ She bustled through the cupboards. ‘All Western.’

  ‘I know my way around,’ I said. ‘Leo can take us to the shops. I know where you can buy everything you need.’

  ‘I need to buy some swimmers!’ Simone yelled. She ran out of her bedroom and threw herself at Leo. ‘Pick me up, Leo, I want to see outside!’

  Leo hoisted her on to his hip. She clapped her hands in delight. Mr Chen turned to look at us from the balcony and smiled. It was the first time he’d smiled since the attack on the Mountain. It was wonderful to see.

  ‘We’re going shopping,’ Leo said to him. ‘You have to come along.’

  Mr Chen came into the living room and closed the sliding door behind him. ‘Let’s go.’

  ‘You coming, Ms Kwan?’ I shouted.

  ‘Yes! Wait for me!’ She hurried out with a white straw hat in her hand, still wearing the silk pantsuit. ‘The sun is very strong here. I want to find a hat.’

  ‘Oh, come on, Kwan Yin,’ I said. ‘You need a hat?’

  ‘The sun is very strong.’ She linked her arm in Mr Chen’s. ‘Come, Ah Wu, this hat is very old and I need to buy a new one.’

  I directed Leo to the enormous shopping centre across the road. Leo and I took Simone to buy swimwear; Mr Chen and Kwan Yin wandered off together; and Monica disappeared into the supermarket.

  Leo stood inside the door of the shop, on guard duty, while Simone and I tried on swimsuits.

  I showed Simone the solar swimwear and she giggled. ‘This is strange.’

  ‘The sun is strong here, and if you don’t cover up you’ll burn,’ I said.

  One of the staff came over and crouched to speak to Simone. ‘Hello, darling, my name’s Jo. You want to try them on?’

  Simone nodded with enthusiasm. ‘Can you help me while Emma tries on some swimsuits too?’