White Tiger

by Kylie Chan

  ‘Sure.’ Jo smiled up at me. ‘We’ll be just fine. Go and try on some suits, Emma.’

  ‘You sure, Simone?’ I said.

  Simone pushed me. ‘We’ll be fine. Leo can see us.’

  I glanced at Leo. He nodded.

  I shrugged and went to the racks.

  As I tried on the suits I heard the staff asking Simone questions about Hong Kong, and her answering in her sweet, piping voice. I went out to find a smaller size and discovered that she had three assistants helping her. This happened wherever we went, whatever country we were in. She charmed everybody just by being her usual sweet self.

  I grabbed a few more suits off the rack and held them up, one at a time, to show Leo. He shook his head at all of them. I took them into the change room anyway and he snorted with disdain.

  One of the staff checked on me. ‘You okay there? I saw you going in and out a few times.’ She looked me up and down. ‘You an aerobics instructor or something?’

  I looked at myself in the mirror. I was quite muscular from the martial arts work. Nothing tremendously obvious, but it was apparent that I was in good shape. ‘No, I’m just the little girl’s nanny.’

  ‘Nanny and bodyguard,’ she quipped.

  ‘Nah,’ I said playfully, ‘that’s her bodyguard next to the door. The big black guy. See him? Six foot six and massive?’

  She laughed and turned to look, then stopped dead. ‘Bodyguard? Is her father a movie star or something?’ ‘Nope, just a rich guy from Hong Kong.’ ‘So he pays you well then?’ I didn’t say anything.

  She patted me on the arm. ‘Good on you. Good to see people making their way.’ She gestured towards the swimsuit. ‘How about I show you some of our nicer stuff?’

  ‘That would be great, thanks.’

  ‘You’re lucky—the little girl is a delight.’

  ‘Her father’s a sweetheart too.’

  She laughed. ‘Oh. Very lucky.’

  I turned back to the mirror. ‘I think I must be the luckiest woman in the whole wide world.’

  ‘Wait there, I’ll be right back. Oh. Here she is.’

  Simone came in wearing bright orange solar swimmers with a lurid green and purple frill around her little behind. She wriggled for me. ‘These are so cool!’

  ‘I need sunglasses to look at you,’ I said. ‘Go and ask Leo to pay for them.’

  ‘Okay. Hurry up, Emma, I want to go to the beach.’

  I finally settled on a pale blue and white striped bikini with a matching wrap that even Leo approved of.

  Jo and a couple of the other women hugged and kissed Simone. ‘Enjoy Australia, Simone,’ Jo said. ‘Have fun.’

  ‘Thanks, Jo,’ Simone said.

  ‘Are all Australians like that?’ Leo asked as we walked back to the car park.

  ‘Yep. Pretty much. It took me a long time to become accustomed to Hong Kong; we’re much more friendly and relaxed here.’

  Leo grinned. ‘I think I’m gonna like this place.’

  Monica was waiting for us with a mountain of groceries. Leo loaded them into the van for her and just as he’d finished, Mr Chen and Ms Kwan arrived. Both were smiling broadly.

  ‘Find something in black?’ I teased.

  Leo scowled as he climbed into the driver’s seat.

  ‘Yes,’ Mr Chen said. ‘The people here are quite remarkable. Very friendly.’

  ‘Now you know where I get it from.’

  We all rushed to change when we returned to the apartment. Monica chose to stay behind. ‘I don’t like the beach,’ she said. ‘I don’t like sand, and I can’t swim. Let me sort out my kitchen.’

  Simone and I waited in the living room for the others. Leo came out first. He wore shorts with the second-loudest Hawaiian print I had ever seen. His fluorescent pink shirt was absolutely the loudest. A pair of expensive sunglasses perched on his American team baseball cap.

  ‘You Hawaiian, Leo?’

  ‘Nope, Chicago.’

  I was about to give Leo a hard time about the shirt when Ms Kwan came in. She wore a white one-piece swimsuit with a large white shirt over it, a huge white straw hat and sunglasses. She looked like a movie star. She twirled for us. ‘What do you think?’

  Mr Chen came out behind her. ‘I think you look gorgeous.’ He wore his new black swim shorts with a towel thrown over his shoulder.

  He was magnificent. Smooth golden skin over toned muscle, graceful and sleek. Tall and chiselled and not an ounce of fat on him. He had an angry red mark on his abdomen where he’d been injured, but apart from that he was glowing with good health.

  He stopped in the living room and stared at Leo and me. Then he grinned, shook his head and walked past us.

  Ms Kwan stopped in front of us. ‘Put your tongues back in, you two,’ she whispered.

  It was near the end of the day and people were packing up to go. A woman power-walked along the wet sand past us. Further along the beach a man flew a large acrobatic kite, its fabric fluttering loudly. A helicopter roared overhead, following the line of the surf. The breeze was still warm and the sun was crisp against my back as we faced the waves.

  ‘We have to swim between the flags,’ I announced. Everybody looked at me as if I was completely crazy.

  ‘The current here can be really strong,’ I explained. ‘The lifeguards are professionals, and they mark the parts of the beach that are safe, and patrolled by them, with flags. You swim between the flags, you’re safe. You go outside the flags, you’re quite likely to get swept out and drown.’

  ‘That can’t happen to me,’ Mr Chen said quietly. He looked up and down the beach. ‘I don’t see any flags, Emma.’

  ‘They must have finished for the day,’ I said. ‘You just go out and swim, if you’re sure you’ll be okay.’

  Mr Chen nodded. ‘Simone can stay out of the water today, and swim tomorrow. Stay with Emma and Leo, Simone.’

  ‘Okay, Daddy,’ Simone said. ‘Look at all the sand! I want to play.’

  ‘Keep an eye on her,’ Mr Chen said. ‘Don’t let her into the water if it’s dangerous.’

  ‘It’s not that dangerous,’ I said. ‘You just need to be careful.’

  He studied the waves. ‘Let me go out and see what it’s like.’

  ‘Well then, go!’ Ms Kwan said, waving him away with one hand. She pulled a beach mat out of her bag and spread it on the sand. ‘Come and sit with me, Emma, Leo.’

  Mr Chen dropped his towel onto the mat and went towards the water. ‘Be careful, Daddy,’ Simone called. He didn’t hear her. He went straight out into the surf, dived into one of the far breakers and disappeared.

  ‘He’s not coming back up,’ I said urgently.

  ‘He doesn’t need to, dear,’ Ms Kwan said.

  The sun set behind us. The highrises along the beach made elongated shadows on the sand. The sky turned a delicate shade of lilac and the breeze became cooler. The beach was almost deserted. I pulled on my wrap.

  Simone chatted in front of us as she played in the sand.

  ‘He’s been in the water for nearly an hour, Ms Kwan,’ I said. ‘Are you sure he’s all right?’ ‘He is in his element, Emma.’

  Mr Chen emerged from the waves and fell into the shallows. He lay in the water, his sides heaving, then flopped onto his back. The waves covered his face.

  Both Leo and I rose to help him.

  ‘Hold,’ Ms Kwan said. ‘No need.’

  He pulled himself up to sit in the shallows. He untied his hair, shook it out and tied it back again. Then he sat with his hands around his knees.

  Simone ran to him. She slammed into him from behind and wrapped her little arms around his neck. He smiled over his shoulder, pulled her into his lap and rocked her.

  ‘He is a lucky man to have so many who love him,’ Ms Kwan said.

  Neither Leo nor I said anything.

  ‘But you know it can never be as you wish, for either of you.’

  ‘I am content to serve as Retainer,’ Leo said. ‘If he were able to re
turn my feelings, he would not be the same man. He would not be him.’

  I glanced up at Leo. I’d probably known from the start. He saw me watching him and smiled slightly.

  ‘You know there is nothing I can do for you once he is gone,’ Ms Kwan said.

  ‘I know. Once he’s gone, it’s not important anyway.’

  ‘What, Leo?’ I said.

  He rubbed the back of his head. ‘Do you have to know absolutely everything?’

  ‘Only if someone’s safety is at stake.’

  ‘Well, then, in this case you don’t need to know.’

  I shrugged and turned back to watch Mr Chen and Simone. ‘I respect that, Leo. If it’s your private business then you don’t need to tell me anything.’

  He watched them as well. ‘I thought you were being curious, wanting to know everything that’s happening. But you’re just looking out for them, aren’t you?’

  ‘Of course.’

  ‘And you, Emma,’ Ms Kwan said. ‘Living to serve. Content, as Leo is, to love without expectation.’

  ‘I wish it could be different for you, Emma,’ Leo said. ‘For both of you. I should have told you sooner—given you the chance to leave. Both of us should. And now you’re stuck here, just like I am. You should go.’

  ‘How would he feel if I left, Leo?’

  Leo was silent.

  My throat was so thick I had difficulty with the words. ‘I feel the same way you do. I am content.’

  Ms Kwan’s hand appeared under my nose, holding a packet of tissues. I took one and nodded my thanks, then wiped my eyes.

  ‘Normally I try to give people hope,’ she said. ‘In your case, there is none. It can never be.’

  ‘I know,’ I whispered. ‘But I’m happy with what I have.’

  She wrapped her arms around me and her power moved through me. I was filled with a warm, glowing feeling of comfort.

  After a while she pulled back and smiled into my face. I nodded; I was okay. She turned her gaze to Mr Chen. ‘He will be fine now. Stay here for as long as you need. The apartment is yours.’

  ‘Is it real, Ms Kwan?’ Leo said.

  ‘Quite real. I own the apartment outright, and as long as you need it, it is yours. Take care of him. Take care of them both.’

  I looked up to thank her but she was gone.

  Leo moved closer and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. ‘I think we must be the two stupidest people in the whole world.’

  ‘I think we’re the luckiest.’ I leaned into him. ‘It must have killed you when he married Michelle.’

  ‘I was very happy for them. They loved each other very much. It was wonderful to see. And then Simone came along. I think that was the happiest time of his life.’ He smiled at me. ‘And now he has you.’

  I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

  ‘I really wish it could be different for you, Emma. For you and him. You should hear him sometimes when he talks about you. I’ve been telling him for ages that he’s mad to keep you around. He’ll only end up hurting you.’

  ‘Right now I’m happy, Leo. I’m with him. That’s all that’s important.’

  He stroked my arm. ‘I understand.’ ‘Does he know?’

  He chuckled and his arm shook on my back. ‘Of course he does. He just puts up with me.’

  ‘No, I don’t think he puts up with you, Leo. I think he loves you like a son.’

  He stared at me, then his face lit up with genuine delight. ‘Maybe you’re right.’ He turned back to watch the water. ‘You’re really wise sometimes, Emma.’

  ‘Wise? I think we’ve just established exactly how stupid I am.’

  ‘Both of us.’

  ‘Yeah.’

  Simone dragged her grinning father up the beach towards us. ‘I’m hungry!’ she yelled.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  After I’d put Simone to bed I went out to the living room. Leo was sprawled on the sofa, sleeping. Monica was wiping the kitchen benchtops. I wandered into the kitchen and saw Mr Chen sitting at the large table on the balcony, watching the waves.

  ‘You should be having a holiday as well, Monica,’ I said. ‘There are some excellent Chinese restaurants around here. If you like, we can take him out and give you a couple of nights off.’

  Monica stared at me with horror. ‘Not cook?’ ‘You should have a break.’

  She continued to wipe the cabinets. ‘This is a break. This apartment is very small. But if I didn’t have to cook, I wouldn’t have anything to do. Please don’t take him out, Emma.’

  ‘You would have preferred to stay in Hong Kong, wouldn’t you?’

  She wiped over the cupboards without looking up. ‘This is a strange place. Everything is so far away from everything else. How do you find your way around? And it’s so quiet.’

  ‘I know,’ I said. ‘Some of my Chinese friends don’t like Australia; they say it’s so quiet they can’t sleep.’

  She busily rinsed the cloth in the sink. ‘We look after him. I look after him.’ She smiled at me. ‘We care for Simone. That makes me happy.’

  I patted her shoulder. ‘Me too.’

  She removed her apron. ‘Goodnight, Emma.’

  “Night, Monica.’

  She went to her room, smiling contentedly.

  I knelt by the couch, next to Leo’s head. ‘Leo.’

  He grunted and grimaced.

  I patted his shoulder. ‘Wake up, Leo.’

  His huge fist lashed out towards my head and I dodged it. ‘Hey, Leo, it’s me!’

  He pulled himself upright and wiped his hands over his face. ‘Sorry, Emma. Don’t do that again. If you wake me suddenly I can attack you.’

  ‘I moved out of the way in time.’

  ‘Don’t take the risk. Ask Mr Chen to wake me, or just leave me where I am. Gold once woke me in the middle of the night and I broke his neck.’

  ‘You should have warned me.’

  He looked sheepish. ‘Yeah, I know. But I didn’t think we’d ever be in that sort of situation.’

  ‘Me either, I suppose.’ Then I heard what he’d said. ‘You and Gold were attacked in the middle of the night?’

  He smiled gently and I understood. ‘But Gold said you were just good friends.’

  ‘We are now. That was a long time ago.’

  ‘I’m sure breaking his neck put a slight damper on the relationship.’

  ‘Nope. He thought it was hilarious. He kept waking me to try and get me to do it again.’

  I nodded towards Mr Chen where he sat on the balcony. ‘What did he think?’

  ‘He hoped it would become something more permanent. He wanted me to be happy. Same as he wants you to be happy, Emma.’

  ‘I am happy, Leo.’

  I stood, took his hand and raised him to stand in front of me. He pulled me into his arms and held me tight. I stretched up to kiss him on the cheek. ‘Go to bed, Leo. You’re buggered.’

  He stared at me, speechless, then shook his head, released me and went out.

  ‘It just means “tired” in Australia,’ I said to his back.

  He raised one hand and went into his room, still shaking his head.

  I took a teacup from the cupboard in the kitchen and joined Mr Chen. The cloudy sky merged with the dark sea. The waves were a dull roar below. The warm humid breeze blew strongly over the balcony and lifted the loose strands of his long hair.

  He poured some tea for me and I tapped the table next to the cup in thanks.

  ‘Do you know the origin of that gesture?’ he said.

  ‘No, do you?’

  ‘Of course I do. I was there.’ He rested his chin on his hand. ‘Once an Emperor went out incognito, just with a couple of guards. He wanted to see what life was like outside his palace, without the layers of formality that separated him from the ordinary people.’

  ‘The Jade Emperor did that?’

  He glanced at me. ‘You are very perceptive sometimes.’

  ‘Go on. Tell me. It’s fascinating.’<
br />
  ‘We went to a teahouse. The Celestial poured the tea. We were horrified—to have the mighty Emperor pour tea for us, two lowly guards.’

  ‘Not that lowly.’

  ‘I’m never going to finish this, Emma,’ he said, with amusement. ‘Sorry. Go on.’

  ‘One of the guards thought quickly. He bent his fingers and placed them on the table.’ He demonstrated, bending his first two fingers and putting them next to the teacup. ‘To signify himself kneeling to the Emperor. The Emperor was impressed by the guard’s quick wit and promoted him to senior advisor.’

  ‘That was very clever of you,’ I said. ‘And over time it’s just become a tap on the table. How long ago was that?’

  ‘About five hundred years.’ He smiled wryly and put his chin back on his hand. ‘And it wasn’t me. It was Er Lang. I was the guard who didn’t think to do it.’

  ‘Does he really have three eyes?’

  ‘Er Lang? Yes. Most of the time you can’t see the third one; when it’s closed it’s not really noticeable.’

  He turned to watch the waves and sipped his tea. ‘You can see the lights from here.’

  ‘What lights?’

  ‘There is a building.’ He gestured inland. ‘It has flashing lights on the roof.’ He sounded bewildered. ‘It’s keeping me awake.’

  ‘You’re not accustomed to being kept awake?’

  He shook his head, his eyes shining. ‘One day I will tell Simone exactly what I have suffered for her. Just when I have overcome one difficulty with being human, another strikes me.’

  ‘You’ll be able to tell Simone that yourself?’

  ‘One day. Perhaps. I may be able to return in her lifetime.’ He looked down at his tea. ‘I sincerely hope I will be able to.’

  ‘Do you know how long you’ll be gone?’

  He didn’t look up. ‘Nobody has ever done this before. I have no idea how long it will take, but it will be a very long time. The answer to your question is: no.’

  ‘I hope you’ll be able to see her again.’ I turned to look at the flashing lights reflected from one of the other highrises. ‘That’s the casino. They’ll turn the lights off soon. Otherwise they’ll have complaints.’ I grinned at him. ‘Hey, why haven’t you been over there yet? You’re Chinese, aren’t you?’