Softly, As I Leave You

by Caine, Candy

  Being with him had turned her into a sex addict. The thought nearly made her laugh. After all, she’d always considered her two friends oversexed man-hungry women. If only they could be a fly on Daniel’s wall.

  Daniel opened the door and sniffed. “Something smells good.”

  “Are you referring to me?” She asked as she brought the food inside and placed it on the kitchen counter.

  “No. It’s whatever you’ve got in that box,” he said drolly.

  Alisha’s hands flew across her chest. “Oh! I’m hurt to the quick.”

  “Come ‘ere, I’ll make it all better,” he said pulling her into him and kissing her.

  “Better?”

  “A little.”

  His mouth swooped down to capture hers and he kissed her with savage intensity. When he

  25

  CANDY CAINE

  released her, her lips continued to burn.

  “And now?” He asked.

  “Get me a fire extinguisher!”

  He kissed the tip of her nose before sitting down. It was still tough for him to stand for long

  putting all the pressure on one leg.

  * * *

  After the kitchen had been cleaned, they watched A Christmas Story, which turned out to be a favorite of both of them. They made it through a half-hour before they began to make love.

  They took their time to undress one another, stopping in between each article of clothing to fondle or kiss. As his hands moved over her ample breasts, pleasurable jolts sang through her veins. Her hands slipped under his shirt and threaded through his golden patch of chest hair. He slipped her sweater off and explored the soft billows rising above her bra before deftly opening it. When her breasts were freed, he kissed each one before suckling at them. Daniel leaned back and Alisha removed his cut off sweat pants. If she was surprised to see he’d gone commando, she didn’t show it. With his cast, the fewer clothes, the easier. Instead, she took his stiff cock into her mouth and began to pleasure him. Daniel played with her swaying breasts while she sucked and licked his joy stick, stroking his heavy sacs every so often. He had stopped her before he came, wanting to remain hard for her.

  They continued their erotic disrobing until they were both naked. Now knowing she was on the pill and they were both free of STDs, he didn’t bother with a condom. He sat upright on the couch and Alisha slowly lowered herself onto him, mindful of his leg. Her breasts tingled against his hair-roughened chest. As she began to rub herself up and down his rigid erection, this position appeared to be a win-win situation for them both. Every stroke for her was more pleasurable than the last. Daniel’s hands explored the contours of her back and buttocks as his lips brushed her nipples.

  Alisha closed her eyes as she continued to ride him faster and faster until she gasped in sweet agony. Daniel grabbed her nipples and squeezed causing her to cry out in pleasure. Finally, as one waves of ecstasy after another rolled over her, she came. Daniel let himself go and joined her.

  26

  SOFTLY AS I LEAVE YOU

  For Alisha, each time they made love was a unique experience. She looked forward to when his cast came off. Since it had been a clean break and didn’t require surgery, the cast would come off at the end of eight weeks. Yeah, she really looked forward to that.

  * * *

  Alisha stayed over and celebrated their first Christmas Day together. She gave Daniel his gift and watched his face while he opened it to tell if he liked it or not. He thwarted her by keeping his face expressionless until she looked like she was on the verge of crying before he told her he liked it. He handed her the small box, studying her face as she opened it. When she lifted the cover of the box, her eyes widened. She looked up at him grasping the key in her hand.

  “Too soon?” He asked.

  She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him with all the love she felt at that moment. “I’m so glad,” he whispered into her hair.

  27

  CANDY CAINE

  Chapter 6

  Two months later, Alisha moved out of her apartment in East Meadow and into Daniel’s condo permanently. His cast was now off and he was walking fine without crutches. He joked he was a whole man again, yet she never found him lacking in any way, despite the cumbersome cast. For the most part they found living together copasetic and easy. Like all couples, there were times that they had some disagreements, but nothing ever major. They tried to live together in the spirit of compromise and even shared the cooking and cleaning chores.

  Their sex life continued to be awesome and was often spontaneous. Emma Coleman even accused her of being too happy and reminded her that if she hadn’t broken Daniel’s leg, she would have nabbed him. “Fat chance!” Alisha told her oversexed friend. “I would have dueled you for him.”

  Several more months passed. Daniel’s business was growing slowly, but steadily. As for Alisha’s job, people continued to get hurt and hurt others. There were fires and car crashes, as well as natural disasters. That never stopped and the ER staff kept cranking.

  One afternoon Alisha felt under the weather and left work early. Daniel was out meeting with a prospective client and she found the condo quiet. After she had moved in, he had added her to the answering machine message. That way, she’d be able to receive messages too. As she entered the hallway, she noticed the red light on the machine blinking and depressed it. A husky woman’s voice broke the silence. “I call to tell you that your father and I have returned from Europe and discover that you have a new woman in your life. Why haven’t you told us? Well, that can be easily remedied. Bring her to dinner on Sunday. Come at four and don’t be late. I’ve nearly forgotten what you look like.”

  Alisha left the message for Daniel to listen to and went upstairs to lie down. Exhausted, she slept straight through until her alarm went off the following morning. Daniel was still asleep, so she got showered and dressed in the main bathroom.

  28

  SOFTLY AS I LEAVE YOU

  Downstairs she put a coffee pod in the Keurig and toasted an English muffin before driving to the hospital.

  * * *

  Daniel was in the kitchen preparing pork chops and mashed potatoes when she got home.

  “You must have been extremely exhausted, because when I got home at five yesterday you

  were out cold.”

  “I wasn’t feeling well and left work early. Say did you hear the message left by your

  mother?”

  He answered, “Yeah,” in a tense, clipped voice that discouraged more questions.

  She thought that strange and asked, “Where do you parents live?”

  “In Sea Cliff.”

  “Do you want me to pick up a cake or bottle of wine?” Alisha asked.

  “No. We’re not going.”

  “Why? What’s wrong? Did you have words with your parents?”

  “Alisha, just drop it,” he said sharply.

  She stared at him. His strong rebuke stung her. He’d never spoken to her like that before and

  wondered why he was so angry and upset.

  “I don’t understand. Tell me what I can do to help.”

  “Enough, already, Alisha! There’s nothing you can ever do about this, so leave it alone,” he

  said shutting off the stove and storming out of the room.

  Tears began to stream down her cheeks as she collapsed into a chair playing over in her mind

  what Daniel had said. She got the feeling that had she not heard the message, he would have

  never mentioned they’d been invited to dinner. If he’d been estranged from his parents, they

  would have never called in the first place. She of all people knew that well. So it had to be

  something else, she thought, blowing her nose into a napkin. A moment later, it came to her.

  Daniel didn’t want to introduce her to his parents because he was ashamed of her. Perhaps he

  didn’t think she was good enough to meet them. It had to be because she w
as black. What other

  reason could there be? As that thought sunk in, her mood veered sharply to anger. She might

  have moved in with Daniel too hastily before getting to know him. If he harbored such racist

  29

  CANDY CAINE

  tendencies, she should move out and find another place to live. As much as she loved him, if she

  was right, there was no way they could overcome this hurdle.

  She cleared off the kitchen table and grabbed a suitcase out of the utility room. Taking it

  upstairs she went into the bedroom to pack as many clothes that would fit. Tears began to flow

  again as she packed causing her to stop and wipe her eyes. It felt as if her heart had been broken.

  She was just about finished when she was startled by Daniel’s voice.

  “What are you doing?”

  “What does it look like?” She glared at him.

  “Where are you going?”

  “Anywhere but here until I can find a new apartment.”

  Daniel rushed into the room and took the suitcase from her.

  “Give me that,” she said, reaching for it.

  “You don’t need it. You’re not going anywhere.”

  “I’ll not stay where I’m not good enough.”

  He exploded. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “It’s more than obvious that I’m not good enough to meet your parents.”

  He dropped the suitcase with a thud and grabbed her roughly by her shoulders. “Don’t you

  ever think that. You are the best thing that ever happened to me and I love you.”

  Confusion filled Alisha’s face. She was baffled by his behavior.

  “It’s not you I’m ashamed of. It’s my parents. They’re not good enough to meet you. They’re

  the worst kind of racists. They pretend to be so open-minded and tolerant, but behind closed

  doors you should hear what they say about minorities when they chat with their friends. Now do

  you understand?”

  “Oh, Daniel, why didn’t you just tell me? All this could have been avoided.”

  He shrugged. “I was afraid you’d react this way.” He sighed. “I’m sorry. I should have

  discussed it with you.”

  Daniel looked like a chastened little boy and she felt just as badly. Throwing her arms around

  his neck, she laid her head on his shoulder.

  “Don’t ever leave me, Alisha,” he said into her hair.

  30

  SOFTLY AS I LEAVE YOU

  They made love that night to the mellow sounds of Frank Sinatra crooning “Softly, As I Leave You,” as if it were their last night on earth and slept wrapped in each other’s arms.

  His parents never came up in conversation again, but he must have spoken to them because as far as Alisha knew, his mother never left another message.

  31

  CANDY CAINE

  Chapter 7

  A year after Alisha and Daniel met, the assisted living home, where Abner Houston had been

  living in New Jersey, called to inform Alisha that her father had passed. It was a massive

  coronary they said. Now after all these years she was going to see her father again, but only to

  bury him. It was only a few weeks before Christmas.

  She was just hanging up with the home when Daniel walked into the kitchen. Falling back

  into a chair, she rubbed her temples.

  “What’s wrong, babe?” He asked.

  “My father’s dead. I have to go to New Jersey and deal with his funeral,” she said in a

  matter-of-factly tone he immediately picked up on.

  “I’ll go with you.”

  She shook her head. “This is something I need to do alone.” Then, without another word, she

  went upstairs and began to pack.

  Daniel followed her upstairs. “Do you want to talk about this?”

  “What there to talk about? My father’s gone.”

  “You sound strange like you’re in shock,” Daniel said.

  “I’m a nurse, remember? I’d know if I’m in shock.”

  “Really?”

  “Daniel please let me get this done. I know you’re intentions are good, but the road to hell is

  paved with them.”

  He held up his hands in mock surrender. “Okay. I get it. Do your thing. Just call if you need

  me.”

  * * *

  Only a few people from the assisted living home attended the gravesite funeral. Her father hadn’t made many friends. As the casket was lowered into the ground next to her mother’s grave,

  32

  SOFTLY AS I LEAVE YOU

  Alisha realized that she was now an orphan totally alone without any relatives that she knew of. Even though they’d been estranged, Alisha had always hoped her father would reenter her life one day. Too bad it had to take his death to finally make that possible.

  Afterward, Alisha went back to her father’s studio apartment to pack up his things. She worked methodically, starting on his small dresser first. She opened one of the plastic bags the management had given her and began to empty his underwear and sock drawer. When that bag was filled, she began to fill another until all the drawers were empty. She dragged those bags over to the door intending to give them to Goodwill.

  On top of the dresser was a small box containing miscellaneous items from spare coins to cuff links. She left everything in the box and placed it into a bag she designated for trash.

  Alisha next opened his tiny closet. She took her father’s remaining suit and placed it in one of the Goodwill bags. On the bottom of the closet, next to a pair of shoes and sneakers, was an old, tan duffle bag. She grabbed the shoes and placed them in a Goodwill bag and went back to the closet to retrieve the duffle bag which she dumped out on the bed. Inside she found photos and documents spanning her father’s life. Alisha smiled at the pictures of her mother who had been so beautiful before cancer ravished her. Her father had been a nice-looking man in his younger years, as well. Sifting through the photos, she found one of him in uniform. No wonder he’d swept her mother off her feet. Then she found the picture of her parents holding her between them and she burst into tears finally allowing herself to grieve. She continued to cry as she combed through all the souvenirs and knickknacks that summed up her parents’ lives.

  Then she picked up and opened an old discolored manila envelope with a metal clasp. It had contained a folded, yellowed news clipping and a file folder. Alisha opened the clipping first. It was the obituary for a woman named Sarah Dinkins. She’d never heard of the woman, but according to the obituary, she was forty-three when she took her own life after struggling for years with Huntington Disease.

  She had no idea why her father had kept this woman’s obituary and wondered if what was in the file folder would shed some light. Inside she found a birth certificate and adoption papers.

  As she read the child’s name in the papers, her heart skidded sideways in her chest as blood thudded in her ears. She’d been adopted and her real mother was the woman in the obituary,

  33

  CANDY CAINE

  Sarah Dinkins. There was no name listed for her father. She shook her head in disbelief. Not once did her parents ever tell her she was adopted.

  Her throat closed as her temples continued to throb when she truly thought of the significance of those papers. Searching her memory for information she had read on the disease, she realized that the chances were that this Sarah Dinkins, her biological mother, had most likely passed the gene for the dreaded disease on to her. “Oh, Lord,” she groaned.

  Again she asked herself the same question. Why hadn’t her parents told her? She had the right to know. Now she felt as if she was carrying a ticking time bomb inside of her. She buried her face in her hands and cried.

  Alisha was a nurse but she wasn’t up to scratch on Huntington Disease. Shaking, she sat at the ki
tchen table and Googled the disease. It was a hereditary condition affecting the brain and nervous system. As the disease progressed, it caused uncontrollable movements, poor coordination, and problems with judgment and thinking. As if that weren’t enough, the worst thing about Huntington Disease was that there was no cure. There was a fifty-fifty chance she had inherited the gene from her mother and according to one web site her children could stand a twenty-five percent chance of inheriting the defective gene.

  She wanted to finish up and leave. Just run out of that Godforsaken room. But where would she go? For the first time since she became aware of the horrific future that awaited her, she thought of Daniel. He’d have to know, but how could she tell him that in a short time she’d become debilitated and he’d have to care for her? How fair was that? And what about the children they had talked about having? She knew the answer and swore she’d never become a burden. She loved him way too much to ruin his life. And children were out of the question. Even a twenty-five percent chance was too much of a risk to pass on to a child.

  And what if she hadn’t seen those documents? She’d never know she was adopted and that her biological mother had a dreaded disease. Ignorance was bliss. Then she wouldn’t have had to tell Daniel anything. Who was she kidding? Whether or not she’d found out the terrible truth now or later on, wouldn’t the end result be the same? She’d still become symptomatic when she began to exhibit those twitches and they got progressively worse.

  In the hospital, she’d seen patients with Huntington Disease. Watching them with the

  34