It was then that it began to fail him.
When he caught the soft scent of her hair as it drifted in the air the ceiling fan stirred.
When he watched her eyes melt at the sight of her son snuggled in bed and safe.
When her lips curved when she turned to him with exhaustion weighing her down, to offer him a smile of thanks.
“I can’t tell you how much any of this means to me. Maverick trusted you, always did. He told me to call, made sure I had the number memorized. You didn’t let him down. He knew you wouldn’t.”
Ricky couldn’t speak. Maverick had counted on him and he had never let him down, even when the request almost killed him, haunted him.
He would spend the rest of his life making up for it and he would start by protecting Mav’s mate and kid.
And keeping his hands to himself.
5
Shauna sat in a sunny kitchen and watched Dakota playing with Sam, Dice, and Mallory’s son, on a big, floral rug in front of a massive TV. Mallory sat with her at the simple oak dining table and sipped coffee as they listened to the boys giggle and play.
Shauna liked Dice and Mallory’s house. It was new, still getting a few things here and there, but it was home. It was bigger than Ricky’s house, with four bedrooms and an unfinished basement, but it had a warmth that amazed Shauna.
“This place is great.” She told Mallory who beamed at the compliment.
“Thanks! There are still things we need to get finished, but it’s home. I love it.” She had her pretty blonde curls pulled into a tail on the back of her head and wore no makeup and somehow still seemed to look radiant.
“It’s homey and that isn’t easy with a new place. It takes a talent.” Shauna insisted.
“Shauna, you are sweeter than my coffee. That’s what I want. I want a warm home where everyone feels at home. I think it’s important to know there is a place for you in the world.”
Shauna took a sip of her own coffee and let that sink in. it was obvious that Mallory hadn’t had that safe place and she was determined to provide it for the people she loved. It showed heart.
“Everyone needs that.” Shauna agreed. “I think Ricky was that for Maverick, if what you’re talking about can be a person. When he forced us to run, he passed it along to us.” She took a beat to get her thoughts together. “I think Ricky is that for us now.”
Mallory reached across and covered Shauna’s left hand with her own. The hand still carried the gold band and single diamond, had since the day Maverick had slipped them on her finger. Someday, she told herself, someday she would be strong enough to remove them, to let it go, but she hadn’t found that day yet.
“How long has it been?” Mallory asked.
“Six months.” Shauna felt the tears stinging her eyes, knew they were there, but forced them back. “I don’t even know for sure what happened.”
The sympathy on Mallory’s face almost broke Shauna.
“He was sick. I didn’t know shifters could get sick like that.”
“I am still learning, but I didn’t know they could either.” Mallory admitted.
Shauna took a little comfort in that for some reason. “Then he found out something about the hyenas. He said they were coming for him, that I had to take Dakota and run. I did that because he asked me to. He asked me to leave him because he was too sick to protect us.” She looked up and met Mallory’s eyes. There was deep understanding there, pain. “I have to live with that for the rest of my life.”
She didn’t apologize, didn’t offer platitudes, she just held onto Shauna’s hand and offered a sort of comfort in sharing such a heavy load.
“I’m not going to say I understand what you’re feeling, but I know a thing or two about leaving a man because you think it’s what’s best. It’s not easy and it rips at you. I can’t imagine the pain you feel over losing him.”
Shauna nodded, looked over at her son where he laughed at something Sam said. Mallory did understand a little of it. She’d left Dice, convinced it was what was best, but it hadn’t been.
“I wonder if I could have done something.” Shauna admitted.
“Against Hyenas? No way. I’ve seen what they can do. They would have killed you and Dakota. You did what was right.”
“Lucian called to tell me Maverick was dead. I couldn’t even think. I went home, the only place that had ever been home, but there was no one there for me. My parents died years ago. I hid in that town and tried to keep my baby safe. It was so selfish. I should have come here, but I needed time to heal.”
“And did you heel?” Mallory asked and stood to get herself more coffee.
“I’m not sure I ever will.”
Later she sat on Ricky’s back porch she twisted the rings on her finger and thought of Maverick.
“Did I do the right thing? Should I have stayed? Would it have made a difference?” She whispered to the wind as the crickets began to chirp and the night creatures began to rustle the underbrush.
Her heart threatened to break in her chest.
Had he suffered?
Had he needed her? Called for her?
Had he regretted sending her away when the end came to him?
“I think you are torturing yourself.”
Shauna looked up when a tall man with a terrible scar across the throat stepped out of the shadows. His voice sounded like gravel and made the hair stand up on her arms.
She remembered him, he’d helped her pack up her house. Had it only been two days ago?
“Hello Clothesline. Would you like a beer?” She offered because it was the right thing to do. Clothesline might scare the shit out of her, but he was Ricky’s friend, brother as they called each other, but he was pack and Shauna knew that was closer than family.
“Why do you smell scared?” His brows lowered over fierce eyes.
“You are a little intimidating.” Her hands trembled so she clasped them together in her lap.
He tilted his head and watched her. She felt like a rabbit in the gaze of a wolf.
“I would never hurt you or allow anyone else to. You have my oath on it.”
“I believe you. I’m just a little jumpy.”
She watched his nostrils flare as he tested her words. Apparently satisfied he nodded.
“I’ll take a beer and I’ll get it. You just sit right there.”
He walked by her and got his beer before coming back out to sit with her on the porch.
“I didn’t know your man.” He said and took a long drag from the bottle he held. “I knew what Ricky said about him, but I think there was some hero worship in that. Ricky is a good man, fucked up like the rest of us, but good down deep where it counts.” He motioned to the house with his beer. “This is some hard shit for him to deal with.”
Shauna felt like a brick hit her in the stomach. “Should I leave? I don’t want to be any trouble.”
Clothesline’s eyes gleamed in the moonlight, making him look like a demon. “You could try it. He’d find you.”
A shiver ran up Shauna’s spine.
“He’s made a promise. He will keep it.”
Shauna ran her hands through her hair. “I don’t know what to do.”
Clothesline’s eyes dropped to the rings she twisted on her finger. “Might start with getting it squared so you can start letting go of it.” He took a long pull of his beer and stood. “Your husband is dead. You aren’t. If you want to know what he would want…” He shrugged and looked away. “I didn’t know him so I can’t say, but if you were mine and I was in his shoes, I’d want you to live.” He seemed to have a hard time finding his words. “I’d want you to be happy.”
He sat the empty bottle on the railing of the porch and walked away, disappearing into the darkness.
Within moments she heard the lonely call of a wolf.
6
Ricky was losing his mind. That was nothing new to him or any of the Howlers for that matter. No sane man wanted to be a Howler, but it fit him and seemed
to give them all a measure of belonging they’d never had. The Howlers Mc offered men with no roots a pack and the stability that gave their animals. Ricky needed his pack, his brothers, but he hungered for more.
He wanted a mate.
He looked up when Clothesline pulled out a chair and straddled it.
“Go home.” He said in his ruined voice.
“Fuck off.” He said right back.
Clothesline frowned and the effect was downright scary. “That woman is hurting. She needs someone with her and here you are nursing a beer.” Line shook his head in disgust.
“I need some space right now. I can’t give her what she fucking needs, ok? I can’t watch her suffer when I’m the reason for it.”
The words tasted sour in his mouth causing his stomach to turn.
“Get your asses in here.” River called from the door that lead to the Howlers clubhouse. The Full Moon Saloon was the front, the business, but the bones of the Howlers were housed in the back rooms.
Ricky fell into his chair around the big oaken table and watched his alpha. He was pissed, but there was more to it, there was a scent in the air… one he couldn’t place.
River paced like a mad thing.
Dice sank into his chair and Ricky saw the instant he caught the scent on the air. His eyes met Ricky’s and there fear there.
“You gonna tell us what the hell is going on here boss man?” Clothesline asked. His eyes were steady, watchful.
“We have a fucking situation here.” River gripped the sides of his head.
When he turned his eyes back to the room, they glowed with madness.
Ricky felt his stomach pitch. He knew that look and it might mean the end of all of them.
Pie cursed. Books fisted his hands trying to keep control. Dice stared in disbelief as he watched his alpha fight to stay in control as sweat popped out all over his body.
River’s eyes landed on Ricky. “You know what needs doing.”
Ricky stood and didn’t even notice when his heavy chair hit the floor behind him.
“Don’t ask me to do that.” He shook his head in denial.
“There may not be another way. You know it as well as I do. You know what this is.” River’s voice shook with rage.
“How?” Books demanded. “How the fuck is this happening now?”
“At the camp. When we were cleaning up. I picked up some shit and got stuck with a needle. It was empty and I didn’t think about it. Lucian thinks that’s what happened. He’s seen it before.”
River’s eyes landed on Ricky.
“The fucking hyenas are shooting this shit into kids, research. You know what this is don’t you Ricky?”
His words punched Ricky in the stomach. He didn’t know that River knew, didn’t want to see the accusations in his alpha’s eyes, but he forced himself to look up.
“I know.” He affirmed.
“You mean to tell me those fuckers can infect us with this shit with just a drop of whatever they have?” Pie’s voice was strong and if Ricky hadn’t known him so well, he’d have missed the slight quiver there.
“I don’t know.” River continued to pace. “I don’t know.”
He was falling apart.
“What the fuck do we do?” Dice whispered.
This would hit him hardest. Dice needed a strong alpha.
Ricky’s eyes met River’s and he shook his head. There had to be another way.
“We lock his ass up until we have a way to save him.” Ricky said, his voice strong and sure. “We find a way to fix it. Let the damned tiger find a fucking cure. That. Is what we fucking do.”
River snarled out a horrible sound as the brothers lunged at him and dragged him out of the room and into the dankness of the basement and into one of the cells that were housed there.
Ricky tasted tears as he watched his alpha spit and curse as he threw himself against the bars of his cell.
“I can’t do it boss. I can’t.”
River’s eyes blazed with hatred. “When I get out of here, I won’t suffer the same weakness.”
It was a promise, Ricky knew it and he accepted it. “When you do, I’ll accept my fate.”
He backed away into the shadows of that hell where they had locked the man who kept them all sane. They needed to work fast, damn fast, or the rest of them would lose their minds.
Ricky closed his eyes as he felt the stability of the pack link rock and waver.
They needed to move damned fast.
7
Shauna jumped when the front door slammed open and Ricky walked in. he looked half crazed and she admitted, he scared the shit out of her. He stomped to the kitchen and took down a bottle of whiskey. His hand shook when he reached for a glass so he just turned up the bottle and drank deeply.
Shauna watched the amber liquid as it disappeared into his mouth and marveled at the way he drank it like it was nothing more than water.
She knew better than to touch him, but she wanted to help so she kept her voice calm when she spoke.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
His eyes flashed an eerie yellow when he looked up at her. “What the fuck do you think talking about it would do?”
Shauna knew her voice would tremble, but she didn’t care. Ricky had helped her.
“You never know. Maybe I’ll see something you don’t.”
He laughed and it was an ugly sound. “Oh well, let me see… My alpha has been infected with some kind of hyena serum that does a good impression of giving him the fucking Sickness. He’s losing his shit which means we will all lose our shit. Which means there will be next to no one to fight the fucking sick bastards. How will you fix that one?”
As he spoke he stepped closer until she could feel the heat of him.
“I...I…” Then something hit her and her heart froze in her chest. “Is that what happened to Maverick?”
Her question hit him hard and he stepped back. “Why ask me that?”
“Because he was sick and I know that shifters don’t get sick, not like that. He’d mentioned hyenas… Just tell me the truth.” Bile churned in her stomach when he looked at her and nodded.
“It’s what happened to him.”
She swallowed that down, would think on it later. “What now? What will happen now?”
He let out a humorless laugh and paced away from her. “We look for a cure and hope like hell he can’t get out of where we locked him until we do.”
He was agitated, fighting for control.
“What can I do to help you right now?” She whispered.
The heat in his eyes scorched her. “Don’t offer something you’ll regret later.
Her heart pounded as he stalked her until her back hit the wall. Her body trembled, but less out of fear now than the need he was building inside her.
His eyes fell to where her breasts lifted and fell with her quick breaths.
He licked his lips and forced his eyes back up to hers.
She watched his nostrils flare, knew he could smell her need.
He reached out and traced a fiery line down her arm.
“How would you suggest you help me right now.”
“I...I don’t know.” She breathed as he stepped closer.
“I think you do.” His mouth was on hers and she was engulfed in his flame as he devoured her.
She couldn’t think. All she could do was feel as he pressed his hips against her.
She felt his teeth on her neck, his heated breath on her ear as he spoke.
“If you don’t want this. Tell me right fucking now while I have a shred of control.”
In answer, she buried her fingers in his hair and pulled his mouth back to hers. She might feel guilty later, but she wouldn’t regret.
He lifted her until she could wrap her legs around his waist. She could feel the thick ridge of his shaft pressing against the seam of her shorts. She moaned as the friction caused pleasure to flame between her legs.
He growled in response a
nd walked her to his bedroom. He’d been sleeping on the couch since she’d been in his home, she knew that would no longer be the case. She was allowing him to change the rules and she liked it.
Craved it.
He had her clothes in a pile on the floor before she could even take in a breath and his followed just as quickly.
“I can’t make this as tender as it should be.” He shook his head hard. “I can’t.”
“I don’t need you to.” She gripped his hair and pulled his lips back to hers.
She felt his teeth against her lips, tasted iron, but didn’t let him go.
He ripped his mouth from hers and leaned back on his feet, spreading her thighs, fixing his heated gaze on her slick folds.
He fisted his errection and pulled two long strokes as she watched. She felt her body pulse with need and saw the satisfaction in his eyes as he watched her greedy body water for him.
“Last chance darlin’. You want out of this?” He took one finger and ran it along her dripping slit before bringing it to his mouth and sucking her juices from his finger.
Shauna couldn’t find words. She shook her head, panting for breath as she watched him position the mushroomed head of his cock at her entrance.
“I’ll try not to hurt you.” He snarled as he shoved into her in one fluid stroke.
She cried out, but it didn’t hurt. His hips pistoned into her again and again. The slap of flesh against flesh was loud in the stillness of his bedroom. The scent of sex filled her nose as the pressure built in her belly.
She knew she wouldn’t last long and he was merciless.
“Now Shauna. Give it to me right fucking now.”
His words ignited her. She shattered around him, her body pulsing around him.
She heard his curse and vicious snarl and then the heat filled her. Jet after jet of heated liquid bathed her insides, scorching her, claiming her.
“Mine.” He snarled near her ear. “I don’t give a fuck who likes it. You belong to me.”
Shauna knew the wolf was in charge and she knew what he was saying. The wolf had claimed her and he didn’t care how Ricky felt about it.
The first inkling of unease settled over Shauna as she lay there under a man that was more beast than man. She felt the moment Ricky regained control. He slid his arms around her and planted kisses along her collar bone.
Ricky: Howlers MC : Book 2 Page 3