Numb (King's Harlots MC Book 5)

by J. M. Walker

  I still hadn’t seen Dale. But I felt him.

  Through the whole ceremony, I could feel his eyes burning into my skin.

  But he never did make an appearance.

  I sighed, kissing my God daughter’s cheek again.

  “All right, baby girl, let’s go find your parents.” I walked through the crowd at the back of the clubhouse in search of the newly married couple. Finding them standing by Asher and Meeka at the door, I kissed Angelica’s cheek before handing her to Meeka. “You leaving already?” I asked her.

  “We are,” Asher answered for her, hooking his arm around his girlfriend’s neck. “Gotta get my girls home to bed.”

  “Or boys.” She winked, a slight flush spreading up her neck.

  “What?” I screeched.

  “Are you fucking kidding me right now?” Jay cried. “And you’re only just telling us this now? Twins?”

  Meeka nodded, a small smile splaying on her lips.

  “I’m the twin and I only get one,” Jay pouted, brushing her hand down her daughter’s cheek.

  “Hey, I’m all for making another one.” Angel patted her lightly on the butt. “You know. Since it is our wedding night and all.”

  “I’m getting drunk. I pumped enough breastmilk to last Angelica a lifetime. You’re going to have to peel me off the floor, remember?” She poked her husband in the ribs. “I need to get drunk,” she repeated slowly, jabbing him with her finger after each word.

  Angel grabbed her hand and kissed her knuckles. “My wife is so demanding.” He shook his head.

  She let out a dramatic sigh, her eyes twinkling with mischief.

  We all laughed.

  “Congratulations,” I told Meeka, pulling her in for a hug.

  “I’m happy to see you smiling again,” she whispered, returning the embrace.

  My heart thumped.

  “Are you sure you don’t mind watching Angelica for the night?” Jay asked, hopping from foot to foot.

  Meeka laughed. “You’re antsy. Get a drink. And no, we definitely don’t mind. It’s good practice.”

  Jay patted Angel’s chest. “Get me a drink, my husband? Pretty please?”

  He grinned, placing a hard peck on her mouth.

  Clearing my throat, I kissed Angelica on the head and left them to their goodbyes.

  “Max,” someone called out. “Great reception, girl.”

  I waved, smiling at the compliment but that smile only went so far. It stretched across my skin, turning my lips up at the corners but it never reached my heart. A smile meant you were happy but in my case, it meant I was fake.

  I put on a good show but that was just it. It was all just a damn show.

  “Max.”

  My heart jumped to my throat, my feet stumbling over themselves. Just when I was about to land on my ass, Dale stood in front of me with his hand wrapped around my arm.

  “Steady.” He smiled, helping me regain my balance.

  “Thank you.” I pulled from his grasp and stared up at him. Somehow, he looked different. A light smattering of scruff covered his strong jaw. His hair had grown in. But, it wasn’t that. He looked … happy. Refreshed. Looked like the time apart did him some good. That made one of us.

  My stomach sunk to my feet. Maybe he had met someone.

  “How are you doing, kitten?” he asked, pushing a strand of hair behind my ear.

  “I’m …” I swayed toward him when he pulled his hand away. Shit.

  A wicked grin spread across his face. “I see I still have the magic touch.”

  Oh, God, yes, the voice inside my head screamed. Clearing my throat, I composed myself and stood taller. “I’m doing well. How about you? How was your trip?”

  He grunted, leaning against the wall. “It was lonely at times but it was needed.”

  “Where did you go?”

  “I had no intention of going anywhere specific but the next thing I knew, I was at the airport. I backpacked through Europe.” He shrugged. “It was fun and enlightening but I would have preferred to do it with someone.”

  I looked away, my cheeks heating. “I’d love to hear about it sometime,” I blurted. As soon as the words left me, I snapped my mouth closed. “I mean … if you want to.”

  A cheesy grin spread across his face. “Yeah, I want to.”

  “Okay.” A breath left me on a whoosh. “Well, it was nice seeing you.” As soon as I took a step forward, rough fingers wrapped around my arm, pulling me back into the darkness behind the building.

  “It was nice seeing me, Max?” Dale asked, brushing his nose just under the soft spot beneath my ear.

  “Yeah.” I leaned against him. “It was.”

  He spun me around and cupped my face. “It was nice seeing me,” he repeated.

  “Yes.” I pulled from his grasp. “What did you expect me to say?”

  “How about something more than that shit, Max? Maybe, I’ve missed you and I can’t sleep or eat or … fuck if I know, but it’s nice seeing me is a fucking lie and you know it.”

  “I don’t know what the hell you want me to say.” I placed my hands on my hips, jabbing a finger in his chest. “You left me, remember?”

  He grabbed my hand, pulling me against him. “Yeah and I haven’t been able to sleep since. I’ve missed you. I’ve missed everything about you. I have to force myself to do anything. I try not to think about you but I can’t stop myself.”

  “What are you telling me?”

  “I’m …”

  “Dale,” I whispered.

  “Do you know what today is?” he asked, searching my face.

  My eyes widened. “What … wait … do you?”

  “Yes.” He kissed my forehead, my nose and then the corner of my mouth before brushing his lips over the shell of my ear. “It’s been a year and a half since we conceived her. I missed the official anniversary but I thought of you. I thought of you so damn hard.”

  My eyes burned, the back of my throat tightening. “How can you remember that?” I gripped his arms. “No man would ever remember that.”

  “I did the math, baby.” His eyes shone. “I know we have our issues but it’s been six long months without you.”

  “I can’t …” I swallowed hard but I needed to know something. “Has there been anyone else?” I whispered, looking down at my feet.

  His finger pinched my chin, tilting my head to meet the soft impact of his mouth. “No. It’s always only been you. I know I was a dick, an asshole and I can never make up for what I did but there has been no other woman for me.”

  My eyes welled. “There’s been no other man for me.”

  A cheesy grin spread across his face. “It’s been a long six months without your warmth wrapped around me, baby.”

  “Way too damn long,” my breath hitched. “I can’t believe you remember.”

  “How the hell can I not remember?” his hand curled around the back of my neck. “I remember everything about you. Every moment we’ve shared. Every word we’ve said.”

  “Oh, God, Dale. The time apart has been awful but I realize now that it was needed.” I wrapped my arms around his waist. “Please don’t leave me again. Stay with me.”

  “I’m never leaving. Not again. We can work on this now. Tomorrow. The next day. Fifty years from now. I don’t give a fuck. I’m not leaving you. I’d rather be in a toxic relationship with the woman I love then to be alone and miserable.”

  A sob escaped me. “You want to do this?” I asked him, looking up at him through unshed tears.

  “Fuck yes.” He crushed his mouth to mine, lifting me in his arms.

  I laughed against his lips, wrapping my legs around his waist. “God, I love you, Dale. I love you so damn hard.”

  “Good.” He kissed me repeatedly, placing tiny pecks all over my face. “Love me even harder, kitten, because I’m sure as fuck not going anywhere.”

  ***

  (Dale)

  Her giggle was what I lived for. Making her laugh was my sole purpose
in life. I loved this woman with her arms wrapped around my neck and the look of adoration in her beautiful eyes. She looked at me like I was a hero. Her hero.

  “You’re not mad?” I asked, sitting on the picnic bench and pulled her down beside me.

  “Mad about what?” she kept a firm grasp on my hands.

  “Me leaving and then coming back after all this time. Come on, Max. Most women would have kicked my ass long ago.” I didn’t want to fight but I didn’t want her to go into this with any intention of leaving. Ever. Again.

  She chewed her bottom lip. “Maybe so.” She smiled up at me. “Although I have kicked your ass in the bedroom.”

  Fuck me. My body stirred.

  Her smile widened. “I don’t know.” She let out a slow breath. “You leaving made me realize something else.”

  “What?” I asked, my heart jumping.

  “That I need you. Angelica showed me that. I love that little girl like my own and I am honored Jay and Angel asked me to be her godmother. Getting to know her has shown me how life is too damn short. You hurt me, yes. You hurt me so damn much, Dale, but you’ve also loved me. You showed that when you walked away so I could be happy.” A lonely tear strolled down her cheek.

  I itched to kiss her, taking her tears on my tongue but I didn’t. Not yet.

  “I love you,” she whispered.

  I pulled her into my arms, pushing my face into the crook of her neck.

  “I love you, Max.”

  We sat like that for a while. I leaned my forehead against hers, holding her hands between us and kissed her knuckles and fingertips.

  “I’m not perfect. We both know that. I …” I swallowed hard. “Fuck. I’m not good at this shit.”

  She laughed lightly. “Just be honest.”

  I took a breath and said the first words that came to mind, “The only thing I’ve ever been good at is loving you.”

  “I LOVED YOU before I even knew what love was. I loved you when you hated me. I loved you when you pushed me away. Every time you smiled for me, I realized that my sole purpose in life is making you happy.

  “We had a long road between us and we still have a long way to go but I’m willing to work for it. I’m willing to keep those smiles on your face.

  “I look forward to growing old with you. To have our friends by our sides. Our children, our grandchildren, everyone we love close by as we live out our days. Together.

  “I love you, Maxine Stanton. And nothing is going to get in my way of showing you just how much I do, in fact, love you.”

  Max’s eyes shone as tears fell down her rosy cheeks. Her smile had never been so bright as she stared up at me on our wedding day.

  A year later and I was professing my love for this woman in front of our friends and family. We still had so much to work through but as each day passed, it only got easier.

  Max grabbed my hands, not waiting for instructions from the priest. “I love you, Dale. I love you so damn much. You fought for me even though I pushed you away. You never gave up on my love for you. You knew how I felt before I was brave enough to admit to those feelings myself. When I hated you, you loved me. When I yelled and screamed at you, you spoke to me with gentleness in your voice. Not always, of course.” She winked. “You were patient. So damn patient, I didn’t deserve it. But I love you more for it. I understand now. After everything we have been through. I get it. I …” Her breath hitched. “I …”

  Not waiting for the priest, I pulled her into my arms and crushed my mouth to hers.

  I heard him say that we were now man and wife and that only made me kiss this woman harder.

  Slipping my tongue between her lips, I swallowed her moan.

  Cheers and hollers sounded around us followed by clapping.

  I had let my love for Max be known in front of all our friends and family and now I was staking my claim.

  I cupped her cheeks, pulling back a bit, and placed kisses all over her face.

  She giggled, smiling up at me through unshed tears.

  “I love you, kitten. So fucking much.”

  Her smile grew. “And I love you.”

  Wrapping my arms around her, I pushed my face into the crook of her neck and inhaled. The scent of vanilla and roses wafted into my nose.

  She smelled delicious.

  She was beautiful.

  She was perfect.

  And she was mine.

  ***

  Many years later…

  The first time I met you was when I looked into our mom’s eyes. I saw pain, anguish, and worst of all, fear. She was terrified to let you go. Scared she would forget you if she opened her heart again.

  You were the first. The one who got away.

  I pleaded for them to love me just the same but you took that from me.

  This was what I thought even though none of it was true. I didn’t understand. I probably never will.

  You have always been a part of me. That little piece that would stick with me for the rest of my life. You were a dark cloud for most of my childhood. Hovering over my head and threatening to explode into a thunderous roar if I wasn’t careful. You were the pain and heartache. The suffering my parents went through.

  But I reassure you, our parents are happy now. They had a long road and travel it together hand in hand every single day. They were honest with me about everything. They brought me to see you when I was just a small girl. I knew from that moment that if you were alive, we would be friends more than sisters. You would be my best friend. A girl I could count on and trust. We would gossip, do girly things together, and drive our parents nuts.

  It would have been perfect.

  Without you leaving, our parents never would have found each other and I can’t help but be grateful to you.

  You brought them back together again.

  I no longer resent you.

  I’m thankful to you.

  And for that, you will always be a part of me. But I can’t come back. As much as I want to visit you again, it can’t happen.

  I love you,

  Your sister

  Brushing my fingers over the stone, I said my goodbyes and headed down the middle of the graveyard.

  A sense of calm had washed over me. I felt no regrets. No resentment. It was all taken from me the moment I finished reading my letter to my sister.

  “You good?”

  The deep voice pulled me from my thoughts. I smiled at my boyfriend. “Yeah,” I said, sliding onto the bike behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist.

  He grabbed hold of my hand and kissed my knuckles. The scruff on his jaw scratched at my skin, sending a hot shiver racing through my body.

  He winked, his deep blue eyes twinkling in the midafternoon sun. “Ready, baby?”

  “I am.” I held onto him and brushed my fingers over the patch etched into his leather jacket.

  Knowing we would probably never be back, a lonely tear rolled down my cheek. But this was it. I could finally move on.

  I could be with this man and be free. Be us.

  Thanks to her.

  Continue reading for the first chapter in Rust, the final story in the King’s Harlots Series.

  *Unedited and subject to change*

  Rust

  King’s Harlots, #5

  Creena & Stone

  The final story

  Chapter 1

  Creena

  A STABBING PAIN thumped inside my head, trembling down the length of my spine. I groaned, rolling over onto my stomach when I felt another body shift beside me. My heart gave a start. I picked through the memories of the night before, trying hard to remember what the hell had happened but came up short. All I knew was that I was hungover as fuck.

  My stomach churned, stale bile rising to my throat. I would not throw up. I would not throw up. I didn’t even know where I was.

  The body beside me shifted again, turning towards me and wrapped a heavy arm around my middle.

  At that point, everything inside of me c
ame alive. It was like the warmth from the man in bed with me, sucked the hangover right out of me.

  But with my mouth as dry as a desert and the alcohol from the night before leaving an awful taste in my mouth, I ignored my body’s reaction to the guy and pushed out of bed.

  The room spun around me.

  It had been a long time since I got that drunk but celebrating a friend’s wedding, it was almost a given that it happened.

  Rising from the bed on shaky legs, I glanced back at the still form behind me. Sheets hung low on the man, just barely covering his ass.

  Desire unfurled deep in the pit of my belly. I only wished I could remember what we had done. And also find out who he was. The dim lighting of the room hid that fact. All I could tell was that he was huge, taking up most of the bed.

  Squinting in the early morning darkness of the room, I searched until I found a t-shirt but as soon as I slipped it over my head, a breath escaped me. The scent of man, leather and sex wafted into my nose, tingling every waking desire I’ve ever had for another person of the opposite sex.

  Holy. Shit.

  I had never reacted like that to a man’s scent before. Having my fair share of one night stands, slipping into their shirts and stumbling in the dark the next morning, was normal for me but this…this was so much more.

  Feeling around in the dark until I found a door, I opened it and slid my hand up the wall coming in contact with a light switch. Flipping it on, I winced, the light burning into my retinas.

  After my vision cleared, I gasped. A large ensuite bathroom stood before me. Who the hell was this guy?

  I pulled the door closed behind me and went in search of toothpaste. The jungle in my mouth needed to go and I needed to get home. Home. I hadn’t been living at home in weeks. My stomach tumbled. Taking a deep breath, I pushed the horror of the past couple of months back into the deep recesses of my mind.

  When my gaze landed on the old-fashioned claw bathtub, a whimper left my mouth. What I wouldn’t do for a bath at the moment.

  Instead, I searched through the drawers until I found a tube of toothpaste and brushed my teeth with my finger. After I cleaned myself up at least until I felt somewhat human, I opened the door, ready to meet the guy who took me home.