Safe Words

by Magnolia Robbins

  The next morning, the two of us made breakfast. After, Justine left early to go back home before work while I headed to Jason’s for a coffee. When I told him the good news about the job, he gave me the drink on the house to celebrate.

  An hour later, I was in the thick of things.

  “Natalia, I expect this to be taken care of immediately.” Kate, my new supervisor, was full of demands from the instant we’d met. She did not seem the least bit pleased to have a new intern. In fact, she seemed more annoyed than anything. “And while you’re at it, get Robert Sanford from the Journal on the line. And quickly, I don’t have all day.”

  Wielding a stack of papers in my hand, I rushed back to my cubicle, sorting through phone numbers to find Robert’s name in the Wall Street directory. I dialed, transferring the call as soon as it had started to ring. A moment later, I heard Kate pick up in her office. The rush of having demands thrown at me was coming back. Except it didn’t feel quite the same without Scarlett’s seductive allure. Instead, it became quickly overwhelming.

  By the time the weekend came, I was exhausted. After work, I took a taxi back towards the apartment, trying to recall if I had felt this tired when I’d first started at Stitch. I likely did, I just didn’t remember it. All my memories had been replaced by fonder ones. Ones that I began to long for the instant I thought of them. I had a job that I’d wanted for years, following in my mother's footsteps. Yet all I really wanted was to be back in the midst of fashion shows and designers. Strange how much I’d changed in a few short months.

  Just as the driver was pulling over in front of my apartment, I had a change of heart. I instructed him to another address and rode the ten blocks down the Manhattan streets to the Baker Publishing building. The moment I was exiting the car, Andrea was walking out. She was on the phone, distracted. I paid the driver and moved to catch up to her.

  Every part of me thought I’d want to rip her to shreds the minute I saw her. Instead, I watched her for a minute as she walked, realizing that was the last thing I wanted. Even if she had hurt both Scarlett and I, being vindictive wouldn’t solve anything. Instead, I opted for an even crazier solution.

  The moment she saw me her eyes went wide. She turned, hustling off in a different direction. Lucky for me, I hadn’t been wearing the feet destroyers and instead settled for a pair of comfy Mary Janes. It was seconds till I caught up to her.

  “They may not be in fashion, but you at least can’t outrun them,” I huffed. When I stopped in front of her, she came to a halt. Her gaze was intense and her lips turned into a snarl.

  “I’d suggest you stay away from me, Natalia,” Andrea threatened me, her voice low. “I wouldn’t cause more trouble if I were you.”

  “Why did you do that?” I asked her. She knew what I meant. We were silent for a moment as I caught my breath. Andrea pondered on what to say.

  “I don’t have to explain myself to you,” Andrea said in a huff, doing her best to skirt around me. I body blocked her as best I could, staring her down. “Get out of my way, Natalia.”

  “Not until you explain yourself. I thought you were my friend.”

  Andrea let out a bitter laugh, pocketing her phone in her purse. “Forgive me for not wanting anything to do with someone who prefers to cheat the system. Like I told you, Natalia. I work hard at my job. I’ve been Scarlett’s right hand since before you were even in college.”

  “I know that,” I tried to argue, but she threw up a hand to stop me.

  “Natalia, we aren’t friends. We aren’t friends because I don’t respect you. I don’t trust you. Now get the hell out of my way.”

  Andrea pushed through me again and this time I let her. As she walked away again, I felt a wave of emotion run through me. I turned around towards her, yelling after her. “Andrea, I am in love with her!”

  For a second I thought she’d keep walking. Then she paused. A moment later, she turned on her heel back towards me.

  “You love her too,” I said, walking back up towards her. “You care about her happiness. It’s blatantly clear. She deserves to be happy. This isn’t some play to get ahead. This is real for me. I would take all the work stuff back if it meant I didn’t screw things up so bad.” I trailed off for a moment. Andrea’s expression remained unreadable. “Andrea, you know how much Stitch means to her. Diana is going to take it all away. Everything. The Scarlett you love. The Scarlett we love, she’ll be gone.”

  Andrea still didn’t speak. I could hear her agitated breathing as she tried to formulate something to say. Just as I’d grew hopeful she’d heard me, her expression changed to a scowl. “Well then, Natalia, I hope you can live with that. Because this is all your fault.” Before I was able to utter another word, she turned away from me again, walking down the street. This time, I didn’t stop her.

  Even though it was late, I decided to walk home instead of catch another taxi. The weather had turned chilly, but my mood was so foul I didn’t think I would be able to stand being cooped up. As I walked I called Justine, chatting about my day, trying to keep myself distracted. By the time I’d made it the ten blocks back, I was drained, and I felt empty. All I wanted was to curl up in bed. To wish this entire nightmare away.

  When I’d made it to the bottom of the steps and into the apartment building, a chill came over me. I couldn’t explain it, but it sent my heart speeding up. The moment I’d reached my door, it had gotten worse. It wasn’t till I’d let myself in that I’d realized the reason.

  “Natalia.” Every time I heard her voice, it sent my stomach into fits. My entire body went cold. I fought myself to keep breathing. I turned, Megan and I coming eye to eye.

  “What are you doing here?” I barely managed to speak the words. My voice came out in a hushed whisper. Every part of me hated myself that I’d let things go. Knowing if I hadn’t, she wouldn’t be standing there right then.

  “Let’s go inside Nat, I just want to talk.” Megan said, her voice calm but eerie. The way she said it with an air of threat, made me hesitate.

  “Whatever you have to say, you can say it right here.”

  Megan stared me down. “Go inside.” Her voice turned quickly, and it made my entire body go into a panic. Before I had a chance to protest, Megan pushed into me, sending me staggering back into the apartment. She shut the door gruffly behind her. I backed up quick against the wall, my body trembling.

  “What do you want?” I managed to keep myself somewhat calm, staring her down.

  “I think you know why I’m here,” Megan said, her voice soft but lethal. She moved closer towards me and I inched along the wall, doing my best to keep my distance away from her.

  “I really don’t,” I admitted, sliding into the kitchen. Megan continued to move, and we made a terrifying dance across the apartment. “I’d appreciate it if you’d enlighten me.”

  “Natalia,” Megan said. The way she said it left a bitter taste in my mouth. “You think I wouldn’t find out about you and that horrible woman? It was all over the news.” She stepped out into the living space of the apartment, and I turned again, heading back in the opposite direction. Every step she took, I was a step further away.

  “It’s none of your business, Megan,” I said, still trying to remain calm.

  “I think you made it everyone’s business,” Megan replied. “What the hell got into you?”

  “You need to leave,” I said as sternly as I could, hoping that maybe she’d listen. Instead, she took a rapid couple of steps towards me. I darted back into the kitchen, scattering behind the island, hoping that was enough to separate us. “Why are you here? What do you want from me?”

  “I want to know why you did it,” Megan said. “Why you slept with her, of all people, and still had the audacity to make me feel like I was some terrible person.”

  It almost made me laugh when she said it and before I knew it, the words tumbled out of my mouth. “It’s because you are a terrible person, Megan.”

  The last speck of light left her ey
es. I saw it the instant she snapped. Even after all the years of fighting her, I never was quick enough to escape it. The room seemed to move in slow motion then. Megan came around the island in a furious rage. Her hand gripped my wrist as tightly as she could. My body snapped to the ground in a heap, my legs coming out from under me. First my head hit the floor, unable to stop myself. It bounced back up as pain shot through it. The world spun. I lost my bearings. Time slipped away from me. It felt like minutes had passed. Megan was pacing the floor.

  “I wish you’d just listen. You never listen.” I barely made her out over the ringing in my ears. She hovered over me, a glaring look on her face. “Get up, Natalia. This isn’t funny.”

  Even though she had asked, I didn’t budge. My body was aching. I felt Megan’s grip around the collar of my blouse. For a moment it was almost like I couldn’t breathe.

  Just as she was about to drag me from the floor, a loud banging erupted into the room.

  “HELP ME!” I screamed. My voice was hoarse, but I knew it had carried out into the hall. Megan stumbled back away from me as the front door flew open, still unlocked from when we had entered. From my vantage point, I didn’t see them coming, but I heard them.

  “Megan Tanner?” A deep male voice filled the room. My body sunk into the floor, feeling relief flood through me. She didn’t reply but I heard the scuffling of feet. A body came to kneel beside me, helping me off the floor. My head still spun as I was sitting up. The woman assisting me was talking, but I wasn’t able to hear what she was saying. Only the sound of handcuffs. “-If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be appointed for you if you so desire.”

  The officer leaned me against the cabinets, giving me a look over as I watched them bind Megan in disbelief. She turned to look at me. My cell phone laid beside me on the ground. Just as Megan was about to look away, there was a shout at the entry to the apartment.

  “Natalia!” Justine moved frantically through the police officer standing with Megan by the door. Even through the throbbing pain of my head, I managed to smile when I saw her. Before she came, she turned towards Megan, who looked confused. Justine held up her phone from her purse in front of Megan’s face.

  “I needed just one second to hear your voice.” Justine stared her down. “It’s over, Megan.” As soon as she said it, the police escorted Megan outside, while I was swiftly moved to the couch. Outside of a cut on my head, a bruised wrist, and a request to go get checked for a concussion, I’d made it out fine. If it hadn’t been for Justine, I didn’t know what would have happened. I didn’t want to think about it.

  As soon as Justine loaded me in her car to go to the hospital as I was instructed to do, we both managed to catch our breaths. I felt her take my hand in mine and she didn’t let it go the entire drive. “I’m glad you answered,” I said gratefully. “I wasn’t sure that was going to work. I’ve never blind dialed someone before.”

  “You were smart. I knew the instant I heard her. I’m so glad you’re okay.” She squeezed my hand just before she pulled into the parking garage to the hospital.

  I was taken back into a room in the ER almost immediately upon my arrival. While I waited for an MRI, Justine sat with me on the bed. The two of us watched the news on the television hanging along the wall. For a while, it faded in and out. Until I heard her name.

  “The Editor-in-Chief of the world-renowned Stitch fashion blog will be taken to court next week for rights to her nearly billion dollar empire. The dispute, which has been ongoing for a year now, recently took a turn when information was leaked earlier this week about the scandalous affair between her and a subordinate. While there is no—”

  “I suggest you turn that off, Ms. Ross.” The voice came from across the room. A voice that made my aching body melt into the bed. My eyes moved to hers and we both smiled.

  “Scarlett,” I breathed as she came. Justine moved back from the bed, letting her fall beside me, wrapping her arms around me. “What are you doing here?” After the atrociously long day I had, I found myself nearly crying, a few tears escaping my eyes. Scarlett wiped them away.

  “I called her,” Justine said. It must have been clear by my confused expression I was wondering how that was possible. “A high profile name like Scarlett Stone is easy to Google, Nat. Some woman from her office helped me get a hold of her.” The words sent a chill through me, realizing Megan had said the same thing. It dissipated when Scarlett pressed her lips to mine.

  “I don’t know what I would have done if something had happened to you,” Scarlett said. When we met eyes, I felt a strange feeling flow over me. She’d never looked at me that way before. I felt her hand gently stroke over my head.

  Finally, I shook my aching head. “You can’t be here, Scarlett. Not yet.”

  “I’ll do as I please, Natalia,” Scarlett said sternly.

  “I’m serious. You have to go.” I could feel myself panic. My voice turned angry. “Justine can take care of me. I can handle this on my own. You and I can’t be seen together.”

  “Ms. Ross?” A nurse stood at the doorway to my room. All eyes turned on her and she offered a small smile. “I’m here to take you to get your MRI.”

  My eyes turned back to Scarlett and my voice got low. I did my best to keep as firm of a stare on her as I could, as painful as it was to do. “I don’t want you here when I get back.” It surprised me when she didn’t respond. Her face turned expressionless. She pulled herself from the gurney as the nurse came around to unlock the wheels. When I started to roll, I turned to look at Scarlett one last time before I spoke.

  “Justine, make sure she’s gone.” There was a flash of emotion that struck Scarlett’s face, just for a moment. I’d grown good at catching them since I’d met her. It was something I wasn’t used to seeing in her. Something that plagued me with guilt. She looked hurt. And it was the last thing I said before I disappeared around the doorway. When I returned, Justine was waiting for me alone.

  Chapter Twelve

  WHEN I AWOKE THE NEXT morning in a hospital bed, the first thing I saw was Justine, curled up on the undoubtedly uncomfortable lounge chair across from me. I watched her for a long while, unable to contain my smile. It hadn’t occurred to me how big of a hole it had left in my life without her in it. I found my attention drifting after a while, noticing a glass vase of daisies sitting to my left on a side table. A beautiful array of reds and pinks. There was a note attached on top. I reached out to pluck it from its resting place.

  Quit getting yourself into trouble. Feel better soon.

  There was no name attached. I assumed it was likely from Scarlett, trying to be discreet. It was a sweet gesture, and I felt relief rush through me at the idea that she wasn’t as upset as I’d imagined she’d be. I lost myself in the flowers for a moment before the door to my room opened. Justine stirred in the chair and yawned.

  A few hours later I’d been discharged from the hospital after a night of observation. Both Justine and I were exhausted, so when she drove me home, we took naps and relaxed. I’d never been happier to see my bed, though I missed my weekends at Scarlett’s. When I thought of her, I fought the urge to call her and apologize for my brash behavior the day before.

  After I woke, Justine took us down to the police station so I could answer questions about Megan. She’d been released, and I’d been granted another temporary restraining order. This time there was no doubt in my mind I’d follow through with getting the official one. Justine insisted that I stay with her at her apartment until then, and I’d graciously agreed.

  The rest of the day was spent out being tourists in the city. I’d been so busy with working and then with my relationship with Scarlett, I hadn’t gotten the chance to see much of it. Once we’d devoured an entire cheese pizza for dinner, we made our way back to Justine’s.

  As we were walking inside, Justine checked her phone. I watched as she texted someone. It was obvious who she was talking to. “Tell her just because she can’t talk to me, doesn’t mean she can
bother you.”

  Justine looked up at me before finishing the message. “She was making sure you were okay. I’m not going to leave her in the dark.”

  “Any of this can be used against her, she needs to stop. If you don’t tell her, I’ll do it myself.” Aggravated, I reached to take Justine’s phone away from her.

  “That’s all she wanted, Natalia, I swear. I’m not texting her anymore.”

  It was settled after that and the two of us spent the remainder of the evening relaxing, my mind drifting away from thoughts of Scarlett.

  On Monday, Justine dropped me off at work. Luckily, Megan was unaware that I’d switched jobs, so it was unlikely that she’d show up. Kate was full of demands the minute I arrived. I found myself unable to keep up.

  “Natalia, this is sloppy. Fix all of this immediately,” She snapped at me, handing me back an article I’d written. It wasn’t much, just a small blurb for the entertainment section. Nothing I did seemed to appease Kate, however. Even with how demanding Scarlett had been, at least I knew how to get on her good side. With Kate, it seemed impossible.

  By the early afternoon I was already getting sick of work. After I’d finished up making copies, I passed another interns desk. I wouldn’t have bothered stopping if it hadn’t been for what was playing across his computer monitor. Scarlett’s face was plastered across it. When I paused to watch, he turned and looked up at me. “Can I help you?”

  For a minute I waved him off, trying to hear what was being said. It was so faint, I couldn’t make it out. I turned my attention back to him. “Are you doing a piece on Scarlett Stone?”

  He nodded and then studied me. It didn’t take him long to recognize who I was. Most of the office knew my face. “You’re Natalia Ross!” His fingers snapped together, and he broke out into a small smile. I ignored him, nodding to his computer.

  “Are they talking about her trial?”

  The intern looked back at the screen for a moment. “Yeah, it started this morning. We’re doing a piece on it. I’m supposed to be taking notes.” The way he looked at me was implying that I was interrupting him.