Safe Words

by Magnolia Robbins

  “Don’t let me bother you then,” I said, pulling up a chair behind him. “Turn it up though.”

  I was given another odd look, but he did as I asked. There wasn’t much news. It had only just started. When I saw Kate trying to hunt me down, I tucked the seat back where I’d gotten it and darted back to her. Once I’d been assigned a half a dozen mind-numbing chores from Kate, I sat back down at my desk and fished for my phone. As soon as I called Justine, she answered.

  “I need a favor.”

  WHEN JUSTINE GOT BACK to the apartment, it was late. I’d had the news on since I’d arrived but there still hadn’t been much details. As soon as I heard keys rattle in the hallway, I jumped to my feet. A small part of me was anxious when I heard noises outside, remembering the petrifying experience with Megan a few days prior. It would take me a while before I would be comfortable again. Justine made it inside and I could tell by her expression that whatever news she had to tell me wasn’t good.

  “It’s bad,” Justine admitted once she’d locked the door. She met me on the couch, falling back against the cushions. It looked worse than bad by how she was acting.

  “How bad?” My heart sank into my chest. The look that followed when I asked that question was strange. Justine studied me over for a long time without speaking. I grew so nervous that I cleared my throat. “Justine?”

  “Nat,” she started, looking almost as if she was hesitant to speak. “How much do you know about Scarlett?” I watched her adjust herself on the sofa until she was facing me. The way she said it made me feel even more anxious than I’d already been feeling.

  “What do you mean?”

  Justine paused again. I watched her fingers twiddle while she bit her lip. Before she answered my question, she took my hand in her own. “I don’t want you to freak out, okay?”

  The fact that she said those words was beyond freaking me out. “Justine!”

  “Nat, Scarlett’s ex-wife is filing abuse charges against her.” Justine could barely get the words out. The instant I heard it, I let out a harsh sounding laugh.

  “You’re joking,” I replied.

  “Not in the least,” she responded, her face looking worried. “That’s why she’s being sued. She wants the company and damages for emotional and physical abuse.”

  “That woman has lost her mind.” It was all I could think of to say. My heart was beating painfully hard in my chest. “That is ridiculous.”

  Justine didn’t seem to have the same thought process as me. In fact she looked concerned. Before she even spoke, I knew what she was going to ask. “Nat, she never did anything to you, did she?” She hesitated for a moment. “You can tell me anything, you know.”

  I barely hesitated to respond, feeling somewhat offended at the accusation. “Are you kidding me?” My ears were starting to ring. “Never.”

  “Even with all your...” Justine trailed off, too embarrassed to finish her thought.

  “It was always consensual,” I argued, seething. My anger wasn’t so much at Justine as it was the absurdity of the situation. The idea of Scarlett hurting anyone was ludicrous. “Scarlett would never hurt anyone.”

  “Her wife seems to think differently and she has a compelling case,” Justine looked uncomfortable. “I don’t think Scarlett is going to win the trial. From my understanding after today, I doubt she has a job anymore.”

  I felt sick. It was all I could do to keep breathing. When I got to my feet, the world spun a little. I grabbed on to the back of the couch for a minute before I paced the floor. Suddenly I was sobbing uncontrollably. Justine rushed to me, wrapping her arm around my shoulders.

  “You need to take a breath,” she said, squeezing me. The trouble was, I almost couldn’t. I left her grasp, moving towards the kitchen to retrieve my purse from the counter. After I’d dug through it a moment, I found my phone.

  “I have to call her,” I said, fumbling with the keypad. My hands were shaking so bad I could barely dial. Justine came up beside me, putting her hands over mine.

  “Natalia, if those allegations are true...”

  “They aren’t!” I hadn’t meant to snap at her, but it came out loud and angry, regardless. “I need to talk to Scarlett.” Justine released my hands and stood as I dialed. It went straight to voicemail. My hands raced straight for my purse and jacket.

  “You aren’t leaving,” Justine said firmly. “Especially not in the state you’re in.”

  “Justine,” I begged her, feeling my anxiety destroying me. “Please.”

  “There’s photographic evidence,” Justine put her hand on my shoulders. “Scarlett’s ex-wife has photographs of the abuse.” I stood frozen in my tracks after she’d said it. “There’s no way in hell I’m letting you go near her.” Her voice had gotten eerily serious. I backed off, resting my back against the island in the kitchen. “I don’t think you can fake photographs, Nat. Even Scarlett’s lawyer didn’t know what to do.”

  My head spun for a long while. Justine let me stand there, trying to catch my breath. Processing all the information. I still couldn’t believe it. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind she was innocent. The only problem was, I didn’t understand where the allegations had come from.

  Then it hit me. The way Diana could make such claims against her. It was the absolute only logical explanation. As soon as I realized it, I looked to Justine. “I have to see her.”

  Justine looked ready to argue with me again. It must have been apparent by the look on my face that I wasn’t going to take no for an answer. I was going whether she liked it or not.

  “Fine. But I’m going with you.”

  The two of us rode across town to Scarlett’s condo building. Once Justine had found a place to park, we walked down the block, heading inside. When I buzzed up, no one answered. I tried twice. Three times. I grew so anxious that I skirted by security and into the elevator with Justine. I may not have had a key, but I’d seen Scarlett enter the security code enough times to remember it. Justine eyed me as I did.

  “You’re going up without her permission?” Justine questioned me when I finished. I didn’t look at her and instead I fell back against the elevator. It was just the two of us riding up. We didn’t speak the entire time. The elevator came to a halt, and the doors opened.

  The condo was dark inside. For a minute I wondered if Scarlett was even there. I turned on the light by the entry way, calling out for her down the long hallway. There was no answer at first, only silence. As Justine and I drew further towards the living room, I saw Scarlett coming in from having been out on the balcony. That familiar bottle of Laphroaing scotch from her office in her hand. It was nearly empty. When we met eyes, she paused.

  Before Justine could say otherwise, I ran to her, wrapping my arms around her. For a moment she let me hold her. When I realized how stiff and off putting she was being, I stepped back from her.

  “Scarlett, what is going on?” I asked her when we met eyes again. She looked beyond exhausted.

  “You shouldn’t be here, Natalia,” Scarlett warned me, a strange tone to her voice. She wobbled, and I gripped onto her, helping her over to her couch. Justine came to sit beside us. Once she’d settled, I took her hand in mine and she let me hold it. I felt the familiar stroke of her thumb against my skin and it relaxed my anxious body.

  There was no time for chit chat. I needed to know. Needed to be sure I was right. “Diana was your submissive before me, wasn’t she?” When I asked Scarlett outright, she looked shocked. Justine’s expression looked just as baffled. For a minute I thought Scarlett wouldn’t answer me. Finally, she nodded.

  “I never hurt her,” Scarlett choked on her words. While she didn’t cry, I could tell how ferociously she was holding back her emotions. I squeezed her hand.

  “She’s framing you with the photos,” I assumed.

  “Saying I did it out of anger. That she never consented.”

  I could see Justine staring between us confused, but I didn’t bother explaining. “Jason can�
��t prove that she’s wrong, so they’re saying you were abusive.” Scarlett nodded again when I said it, hardly able to look at me. Every fiber of my being hated Diana in that moment. I never thought I’d be angrier at someone than I’d been at Megan, but she came close.

  “Why haven’t they asked why she didn’t come forward to the police sooner?” I wondered aloud.

  Instead of Scarlett answering, I heard Justine from behind me. “She claimed she was under duress and too scared to. When she found out you two were together, she wanted to come forward for your safety.” The words made me sick. My body fell back into the couch, unable to fathom words to say. This time I felt Scarlett run her hand up the length of my arm. The allegations that Diana had made explained why Justine had been so worried.

  “They’re giving the verdict tomorrow,” Scarlett explained, still unable to look me in the eyes. “Jason had me resign this afternoon. The company will be out of my hands once she has it.”

  “There has to be something we can do,” I argued. “She can’t get away with this. It’s wrong.” I was seething with anger. My mind raced for some solution and my heart was breaking when I couldn’t think of one.

  “It’s over, Natalia,” Scarlett said, finishing the last bit of scotch in the bottle. “I’ve lost.”

  Scarlett didn’t say much after that. Before long, she’d curled up, laying her head in my lap. My hand rolled over the side of her face and into her hair. She didn’t speak, only breathed quietly. It was the most vulnerable looking I’d ever seen her and it was killing me inside. Eventually I heard her soft snores. Justine and I hadn’t spoken until I was sure she was asleep. When we looked at one another, she got to her feet and went to grab the throw from the back of the couch. Justine covered Scarlett and then put a hand on top of my head for a moment.

  “Are you okay?” She whispered, sitting back down beside me.

  “Not really,” I replied, a knot in my stomach. Even though it had nothing to do with me, the fate of Scarlett’s life made me feel as if my life too, was over. When I looked down at her sleeping, I couldn’t help but run my hand over her again.

  “Did she leave marks like that on you?” Justine asked me, when I looked back up at her. “When you two were...” She trailed off, and I could tell she was embarrassed asking.

  “Sometimes,” I admitted. “But I was always well taken care of. It wasn’t anything I didn’t want. I always had the control.” My mind thought back to the first time she’d used the riding crop with me. How meticulously she’d looked me over afterward, examining every spot she’d touched. It had been the same every time. Scarlett was careful, conscientious of everything she did. The idea that some horrible woman was claiming otherwise made me so sick to my stomach I couldn’t settle it.

  “It sounds like she was the one in control,” Justine argued. “I mean, she was the one... doing everything.” Even amidst the million emotions I was feeling at the moment, I broke into a soft smile when she said it. “What?” Justine studied me.

  “It’s just funny how it embarrasses you to talk about it,” I shrugged. “I was like that at first too. I’d never have expected myself to end up where I am now.”

  “Me either,” Justine agreed.

  “I guess neither of us are in control anymore,” I said, stroking my hand over Scarlett again. Justine and I shared another glance before she laid her head against my shoulder. Before long, I heard her breathing lightly, having fallen asleep too.

  Time passed slowly for a while. I sat in the darkness, staring out into the city lights. The last time I’d laid on this couch, Scarlett and I had been taking a lazy Saturday nap. My world had felt complete. Perfect. Now it felt as if it was falling to pieces. I surprised myself in that moment, wishing that it was a few weeks prior. That I could be at Stitch again, instead of at a job with an angry woman who hated me. That Scarlett and I were swallowed up in our relationship, without a care in the world. That Megan and Diana weren’t a wedge between us.

  My mind silenced. I looked down and over to my two favorite people. Somehow, even with the world falling apart around us, it wasn’t so bad with them there.

  WHILE I HADN’T IMAGINED that I would get any sleep that night, somehow I’d managed to. When I woke, I heard chatting behind me. Justine sat at the island in the kitchen while Scarlett cooked breakfast. I got to my feet, wandering over. They both turned their attention towards me as I drew closer. Scarlett still seemed preoccupied, but she offered me a small smile as I sat down beside Justine.

  “It smells good,” I said, trying my best to smile back to her. As soon as I said it, plates were dropped in front of Justine and me, filled with eggs and vegetables. Scarlett joined us soon after, sitting beside me. She and Justine continue their conversation with one another while I sat quietly eating my breakfast. They’d been talking about Justine’s job, of all things. I grew so uncomfortable with the random discussion that my hand slammed on the counter. I might have been a little grumpy too.

  “Natalia,” Scarlett said. Two sets of eyes were staring at me and I let out a long drawn out sigh.

  “Aren’t we going to talk about what we’re going to do today?” It felt as if I was the only person in the room that cared about that fact. Their nonchalant attitudes were making me anxious. All I wanted was for someone to acknowledge that this wasn’t a dream.

  Scarlett was still looking at me when I turned to face her. Her hand reached out to take mine. “There’s nothing that can be done.” When she said it, I felt sick. My hand ripped from hers.

  “So you’re just going to let her win?” I said angrily, standing up from my seat.

  “What choice do I have, Natalia?” Scarlett said as I started to wander off.

  “Nat,” Justine called after me, but I ignored them both. Instead, I found myself heading out onto the patio. It was still dark and early. The city lines shined around me. I’d never get sick of the view. The two left me alone for a while. When I turned to look, Scarlett had made her way outside to stand beside me.

  “You’re just going to let her destroy your life? You aren’t going to fight her?” I stared at her in disbelief. Scarlett pulled me close, and I laid the side of my face on her collarbone while she rested her cheek against the top of my head.

  “She hasn’t destroyed my life, Natalia,” Scarlett said, running her hand over my shoulder. For a minute neither of us spoke. I didn’t know what to say. It was as if she was refusing to see the truth, even with it right in front of her.

  “Your entire life's work is about to be taken away from you,” I argued, breaking from her so I could meet eyes with her once again. “Everything you’ve known for twenty years. All because of some stupid lies. She’s taking away everything.”

  Scarlett’s hand cupped under my chin, tilting my head up to look at her. In the city lights, the outlines of her face were beautiful. I could still make out the hint of blue of her eyes as they stared into mine. “Not everything,” she argued. We stood there paused for a moment before I leaned up to kiss her. “Now come eat,” Scarlett said, turning to hold the door open for me. Even amidst my anxiety, hearing that slight hint of commanding tone would never stop getting to me. I nodded, trailing my way back into the house.

  A plate of eggs and a French pressed coffee later, I’d started to feel a little less grumpy. Once I’d called in sick to work, the three of us gathered our belongings and headed down to meet Henry at the front of the building. I introduced him to Justine, and he helped her inside. Before Scarlett and I entered, I reached for her wrist, and she turned. We stared at each other for a long time neither of us speaking. Finally I felt tears rolling down my cheeks.

  “I’m so sorry.” It was all I could think of to say. Scarlett placed a hand on my cheek, using her thumb to wipe away tears. I leaned into it for a moment, sighing. “I wish this wasn’t happening to you.” Scarlett studied me for a moment, a small smile breaching her lips. I couldn’t understand why. Everything was falling apart. Instead of questioning her, I let h
er take my hand in mine as Henry opened the door for us. The two of us sat inside and I watched the high-rise disappear as we headed down the Manhattan streets towards Scarlett’s fate.

  Chapter Thirteen

  THE COURTHOUSE LOOMED in front of us. Scarlett, Justine and I had just left Henry. It had been a while since I’d seen it, though not long enough. I trailed behind them, my mind plagued with thoughts. James Reed waited for Scarlett at the top of the steps. The chilly weather had started to settle in. A cold breeze blew by and sent a shiver through me.

  Before Scarlett left with James, she turned to look at me one final time. “I’ll see you soon?” She asked, and I could tell by the way she spoke it was all she could manage to say. When I nodded, she gave me a soft smile before she separated from me. I stood and watched her till she’d made it completely inside. After she left, Justine wrapped her arm around mine and squeezed me softly.

  “Let’s go inside,” she suggested, shivering.

  If it hadn’t been for the fact that I’d been here on two separate occasions now, both of which were not pleasant, I would have enjoyed the ambiance more. It really was a pretty place. Marbling abound, very open and spacious. Justine and I made our way through the large entryway towards the courtroom that Scarlett’s case had been assigned to. We sat outside for a few minutes waiting with a small group of people. Finally they let the crowd in. Justine and I settled in the front. Scarlett and James were already sitting together at a desk. Across from them, I noticed Diana and her lawyer. Seeing her face made my fists clench. When Justine noticed me staring, she held my hand.

  The morning dribbled on with the proceedings. Most of the time I couldn’t focus, keeping my eyes on Scarlett. I couldn’t read her expression. After over an hour of discussion, James announced a final witness. Justine looked to me and I shrugged. When they were fetched from outside the courtroom, I felt a lump in my throat.