Secrets of Innocence

by V.

  “We got home yesterday. What have you been up to?”

  Danny drew in the sand with his foot, unwilling to make eye contact. “Not much. You?”

  “I got really bored. Kept thinking of you.”

  He nodded. “That’s nice.”

  Clearly taken aback by his demeanor, she furrowed her brow ever so slightly. “Are you okay? You’re acting—”

  “I’m not acting,” he snapped.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

  “Well you did.”

  “Suit yourself, then.” With that, she ran back to her friends, plunged into the lake, and swam away from the beach.

  Danny’s eyes followed her, tears trickling down his cheeks.

  “Ellie, I don’t deserve you. I’m going to die for lust, not for a noble cause. Since it’s my first big sin I hope I’ll be forgiven. I promise to watch over you from heaven.” He placed his hand over his heart. “I love you, and I’m sorry.” The camera tilted toward the sky and faded to white.

  Mrs. Foster’s clothes lay scattered all over the white carpet intermingled with Danny’s. The comforter and blankets also lay on the floor.

  Naked on the bed, Danny rested next to Mrs. Foster, both their faces shiny with perspiration, and their breathing heavy with lingering passion. “You learn fast, young man. I like it.” She kissed him softly. “Better now?” “How did you talk Mr. Foster into hiring me to take care of your roses and garden?”

  She gazed into his eyes. “Let’s not talk about him. Tell me about Ellie.” “She’s angry with me.”

  “Whatever for?”

  “I sort of ignored her this morning.”

  “Why?”

  “I felt really uncomfortable around her. I shouldn’t be with her while I’m with you.”

  “Why not?”

  It isn t proper.

  Mrs. Foster laughed and rolled toward him, playfully kissing his nose. “You’re so pure.”

  “Pure what?”

  “Pure, as in untainted. Wholesome.”

  “I don’t get what that has to do with Ellie.”

  “You and I,” she explained deliberately, “are lovers. You and Ellie, on the other hand, are boyfriend and girlfriend. Would you ever go beyond merely kissing her?”

  “No, of course not. She’s not that kind of girl. Sorry, I didn’t mean to imply—”

  “It’s okay, don’t worry. I understand. That’s actually my point—two completely different relationships that shouldn’t interfere with one another.”

  He closed his eyes. “It’s so easy to be with you and talk to you.”

  “Always remember how it was with me.”

  “As if I could forget.”

  “Promise.”

  “I promise, I promise. I’ll love you forever.”

  “No, not that. You won’t do that. But promise you won’t forget me.. .ever. My touch, my smell, my skin, my lips, my—”

  “Tongue, your—”

  Her lustful kiss drowned out his words.

  “She’s corrupting him through and through,” a visibly irritated Sarah told Conrad.

  They were strolling along the Methow River on a warm Sunday morning. The twins slept in the hiking wrap-slings that each of them wore, while Elan and Nina scampered about them.

  “Don’t get upset, you’ll wake Kaya,” Conrad urged Sarah, squeezing her hand.

  “She’s fast asleep.”

  “If you get angry Kaya will feel it.”

  Sarah nodded and took a deep breath. “Mrs. Foster is a monster. What’s with all the immorality?”

  “I’m with you. It’s not like you can save him, so why show you the corruption of this teenage boy? What’s the point? Where is this heading?”

  “Trouble, nowhere but trouble.”

  “But why?”

  Sarah shrugged. “What if the Danny in the movie is our Daniel?” “Where are you going with this?”

  “Nothing specific, but the more I learn about this boy and how this woman is twisting him around, the more I fear that our Daniel somehow may have been running away from these painful memories. The boy in the movie is certainly heading toward disaster with this relationship. Who wouldn’t prefer to forget something like that?”

  “But if all of this happened years ago, somewhere in the Midwest, what is Daniel doing here in the Northwest?”

  “Maybe he came looking for someone connected with whatever happened back then. What if this someone is his attacker?”

  “Well, that’s a possibility, but there’s no way to be certain until you have more clues.”

  Sarah sighed in frustration.

  “Look at it this way, you’re getting more and more information as the movie plays out. It’s speeding up, too.”

  She nodded in spite of herself. “I would certainly like to be of more help to Daniel, though. The attraction between him and Ellie may get—”

  “Ellie?”

  “What?”

  “You said ‘the attraction between him and Ellie.’”

  “I did? I meant to say Elisabeth.”

  “I know you did.”

  “Oh dear. What if this slip of the tongue is more than a mistake? Could the movie be about our Daniel and our Elisabeth when they were teenagers? Do you realize what that means?” Sarah stopped and faced her husband. “I should ask them.”

  Sarah’s burst of enthusiasm caused Kaya to stir for a moment.

  Conrad shook his head. “I knew you’d wake her.”

  “She didn’t quite wake up. Anyway, I should—”

  “Stop. You should do nothing. We’re speculating. For now keep it in the back of your mind. Don’t do something that you might regret later.”

  “You’re right.” She stared into his eyes. “Thank you,” she whispered.

  “Whatever for?”

  “For loving me. I’ve been tough to cope with lately.”

  Conrad laughed, and little Tadan stirred in his wrap-sling. “Oh-oh.” Conrad gently coaxed his grandson back to sleep. “You may have pushed me to my limits a couple of times, but don’t forget that I’m also learning to deal with this gift of yours.”

  “Learning? You?” Sarah asked as they closed the distance between them and their frolicking grandkids. “You had years of experience with your grandmother and your aunties.”

  “That was different. I grew up with it. They knew when and how to listen to their visions, but most importantly, when and how to act on them. You on the other hand, are just learning. And so am I, but where you and I differ is on how to act.”

  “But we shouldn’t be at odds over that.”

  “Nevertheless we are. My instinct is to protect you, and when you run off and do things that make that more difficult, it unnerves me.”

  “My parents were after protection when they forced me to bury my abilities. I’m wary of that.”

  “You have to understand that it’s tough to be on the outside. You shouldn’t deny your gift, but I simply can’t let any harm come to you.”

  Sarah took her husband’s hand. “We’ll have to learn how to keep this teeter-totter balanced, won’t we?”

  “As long as we take it slow, we’ll be okay.”

  Sarah sighed and nodded. Hand in hand, the two strolled back to their little valley bookended by the twin houses, with their grandchildren trotting playfully about them.

  CHAPTER 14

  “Sarah and Conrad would disapprove of us being alone. But here we are, two disobedient children,” Daniel told Elisabeth with a wink.

  She blushed and giggled. Having finished their Sunday picnic, they relaxed on a blanket in the middle of a flower-filled meadow with a spectacular view of the Cascades.

  “How did you ever find this place?” he asked her.

  “When I decided to bring flowers to my patients I took short hikes around the area in search of wildflowers so I wouldn’t go broke. One day I stumbled upon this meadow. It’s stunning, isn’t it?”

  “It is. It reminds me of something but I
can’t put my finger on it.”

  “You’re remembering something?” Elisabeth reached for Daniel’s arm, but aware of her forwardness, she immediately retracted it.

  “Don’t be embarrassed,” he chuckled. “It’s alright. I don’t mind you touching me.”

  “I’m well aware that it’s not right. Anyway, what is it that you felt?”

  “A sensation that I’ve been in a place of natural beauty like this one. It gives me a sense of belonging, as if within it I’m safe. Makes me feel like a kid again, with no worries, no problems, nothing but joy.”

  “That’s wonderful, Daniel. With a little luck maybe something will shake loose and more will come out.”

  After a long pause, Daniel replied, “Maybe.”

  “C’mon, don’t get down again. Let’s take a stroll before the sun sets.” Daniel folded the blanket and took in a deep breath. “This should be allergy heaven with all this pollen floating about, yet it doesn’t affect me, or you.” “I’m immune, somehow. Are you allergic?”

  “No, not really. No idea why I said that. Common sense, I guess.”

  They walked in silence to Elisabeth’s car, put the basket and blanket away, and turned back toward the meadow, making their way toward the mountains. “What’s on the other side of that boulder?” Daniel asked.

  “Good question, I never walked that far. Should we take a look?”

  “Sure.”

  They walked in awkward silence for a few minutes until Daniel asked timidly, “Elisabeth, why do you have so much interest in me?”

  She smiled and almost patted his shoulder, but decided to place her hands in her jeans pockets instead. “You’re my patient.”

  “It’s okay to touch me, it won’t lead to anything more. And I’m not your patient.”

  “Of course you’re my patient. I may not be a doctor, but I’m someone who cares for those in need and you’re one of them.”

  “I agree that I’m in need of help, but you stopped volunteering at the hospital and are devoting yourself entirely to my care. Why?”

  “To begin with, I’m actually back to work at the hospital. I only stopped during the last part of winter. It was too much to handle with the roads so icy, plus I needed to make sure that your injuries were healing properly. Anyway, Doc was happy for me to keep an eye on you.”

  “Elisabeth, you’re avoiding my question.”

  They reached the boulder and walked around it. Beyond was a ravine leading down to the sparkling waters of a rushing river. They stood staring, intoxicated by the vista’s beauty.

  “Oh, wow,” Elisabeth uttered.

  “Gorgeous.”

  “It’s the Methow River.” She pointed to the Cascades. “It originates up there. It’s a tributary of the Columbia River, the largest river in the Northwest.” “Spectacular.” He reached for Elisabeth’s hand. “C’mon, answer my question.”

  She took a deep breath. “I’ve connected with you,” she said softly, entwining her fingers with his. “There’s something about you that I can’t.. .well.. .I can’t resist.”

  “Exactly the answer I’d hoped for,” he tightened his grip on her hand. “I feel the same.”

  They stood in silence, absorbing the raw power of the wilderness around them as the sun disappeared behind the peaks, their hands speaking to one another, their hearts heavy with the knowledge that their emotions were forbidden.

  Sarah reached to turn on the attic light, then stopped. She let her eyes take in every corner of the room. The soft moonlight poured through the window so she left the light off, smiled, eased into the armchair with a sigh, and closed her eyes.

  Danny snuck out his bedroom window late at night, and made his way to the cabin.

  The light of the lone lamp Alexander used when he wrote shone through the window. Danny snuck up quietly to surprise his friend, but when he peered through the dusty pane he saw Alexander slumped over his typewriter. He appeared to sleep soundly. An empty bottle of whiskey, a dirty glass, and an ashtray filled with cigarette butts sat beside him. The quantity of crumpled papers covering the floor and table had grown.

  Danny stepped through the door and tiptoed to the easel. His portrait was almost completed and captured the boy’s blend of youth and maturity. He sneaked toward Alexander and, as quietly as he could, gathered up the wadded paper from the floor.

  The subtle noise was enough to wake Alexander, who straightened up and placed his elbows on the table and held his head with both hands. “Oh shit.”

  “Sorry to wake you. I need your advice. I’ll clean up and make you some coffee first.”

  “Don’t touch anything.”

  Danny stopped. Alexander arched his head back, stretched and rubbed his eyes. “Pour me a whiskey with ice.”

  “But—”

  “Do it.”

  Danny hesitated a moment before taking the glass. He disappeared into the kitchen and reemerged with ice, and reluctantly poured the drink.

  Alexander snatched the drink and ambled over to the easel to contemplate his work. He sipped the whiskey and frowned with disgust.

  “Why do you drink that stuff if you don’t like it?”

  “Because I have to write.”

  “What’s that got to do with it?”

  Alexander walked to the door, and slammed it. “Don’t leave the front door open, my soul can run away.”

  “But it can’t.”

  “Ever ponder if when your soul gets sick of you it might try to escape?”

  “No. Why would my soul be sick of me? My soul is me.”

  Alexander attempted to laugh, but the throbbing in his head stopped him instantly. He raised the glass to his temple and ran it across his forehead and back. “You’re right, Master Danny, your soul is you. But for me it’s different. I’ve trapped my soul for years in a cavern of mediocrity, and now—thanks to you—it demands to get out.”

  Danny considered the concept for a few seconds and then shrugged. “I don’t get it.”

  “Good. Don’t even try. It might infect you.” He turned back to the painting, running the cold glass across his forehead. “What did you ask me?”

  “I asked why you drink if you don’t like it.”

  “Ah, yes. Do you understand what a book really is for me? It’s the result of becoming completely and utterly fed up. I need to get angry enough, fucked enough, guilty enough, scared enough and, most importantly, drunk enough, before I can surrender to the need to write and spill my guts all over the page. Then, just like that”—he snapped his fingers—“as if by some ghastly magic, a book is born. Plain and simple, it’s the spawn of gluttony, overindulgence, and satiation.” He gulped his drink with a grimace and extended his arm toward Danny for a refill. The boy obliged.

  “Glad you didn’t die,” Alexander called out as Danny stepped into the kitchen again. “But you shouldn’t come out here this late at night. My soul needs to recharge with meaningless sleep once in a while.”

  “Oh, yeah. Sorry for coming so late,” Danny said returning from the kitchen. “Turns out the whole thing was about having her husband give me a job so we could be together.” He poured the whiskey. “We made it four or five times. I lost count.”

  “You did her husband too? Man, talk about gluttony.”

  Danny laughed. “No. Don’t be ridiculous. I did it with Mrs. Foster. Her husband hired me to work on his rose garden. He’s gone a lot so he can’t tend to the roses.”

  “So, you’re getting paid to prune his roses and prod his wife. Nice twist.” Danny frowned and handed him the drink.

  Alexander took a sip and walked up to him and patted his cheek. “Is that what brings you to Hell City this late at night? Your conscience is clamoring for forgiveness?”

  Danny backed away. “No. What’s happened to you? You’re acting really weird.”

  “I don’t act. I am. Cough it up. Why are you here?”

  “I need your advice. I was going to ask my dad, but after tonight, I never could ask him.”


  “What happened tonight?”

  “He told me I have no morals.”

  “He knows you’re fucking a married woman?”

  “No! Oh God, no! He hated the women in a movie Family Plot, but I didn’t mind them. He kept telling me how sinful they were and stuff like that.

  He’s too.. .well too—”

  “Preachy, uptight, religious, moral, and a fucking fake.”

  “He’s not fake. He’s the real thing. That’s the problem. Anyway, you’re the only one I can ask. But you’re in a strange mood, so—”

  “I’m not in a mood, young man. I am a mood. Don’t analyze me, or you’ll get lost in my cavern, and my soul will crawl deeper and deeper never to be found. On the other hand, it might jump into your pocket, join with yours, and run away. I’m sure she’d like that.” He slumped onto a chair and closed his eyes, holding the ice-cold glass up to his forehead. “Never mind all this shit I’m spewing, spit out your problem and leave me be.”

  Danny stared at the floor. “I have.. .well, maybe I have.. .but I don’t have the symptoms in the book. It’s red and sore, but no discharge or burning or itching or anything like that.”

  Alexander peeked at Danny through one eye. “What book?”

  “The Medical Guide.”

  Alexander opened both eyes wide and exploded with laughter, winced, and squeezed them shut. “Oh, that’s rich. Medical Guide, eh?” He chuckled a bit more then squinted at Danny and said, “You’re probably irritated. Hell, four times in one afternoon! I’d be sore too. Happy, but sore.”

  Danny rushed over and grabbed his arm, spilling some of the drink over Alexander’s face. “Are you sure? That’s all? Are you absolutely certain?”

  Alexander laughed as he dried his forehead with his hand and licked his fingers. “There’s nothing certain in life, my friend. Only what we choose to believe. Rub some ointment on and keep it zipped for a day or two. If you can,” he added, with another chuckle.

  Danny gripped Alexander firmly. “Tell me the truth. Please. Has this ever happened to you? Is it normal? Are you sure it’s not a—”

  “A what? Don’t stop. A what?” Alexander came to his feet, a serious look upon him.

  The boy managed to whisper, “A venereal disease?”