Secrets of Innocence

by V.

  Alexander stared solemnly into the boy’s eyes and nodded. “You guessed, huh?” He glanced away, seeming reluctant to go on. He turned back. “You sure you can handle the truth?”

  Danny nodded almost imperceptibly.

  “Well then, no lies. I’ll tell you the truth. But I warn you—you’re not going like it.”

  Danny swallowed hard. “I can handle it. I knew it was bad.”

  Alexander placed his drink down and grabbed Danny by the shoulders, squaring him off. “I had the same thing years ago, when I was in Spain. Almost killed me. It’s a very rare parasite. It’s called Granulona Inguinalis over there. No idea what they call it here. Now, I don’t mean to scare you, but you need to face the truth. It’s dangerous.. .or it can be. There’s only one possible cure, and it’s not going to be fun. Are you man enough to do it?”

  “I am,” he muttered with a look of terror etched on his face.

  Alexander placed his hands on Danny’s shoulders and looked him sternly in the eyes. “Are you absolutely sure?”

  “Yeah, yeah.”

  “Okay, you asked for it. This is what you have to do: first, shave off all the hair around your groin and up here, like this.” He ran his hand from his groin up to his belly.

  Wide-eyed, Danny stared.

  “Then, you pour some...” He shook his head. “No. I shouldn’t tell you.” He turned away.

  “I can handle it. Please, go on.”

  “Okay.” He faced the boy. “Well, you pour gasoline on it.”

  Danny scowled with disgust. “Gasoline?”

  “There you have it!” He threw his arms up in desperation. “You’re not ready. Never mind, forget it. It won’t kill you for several years anyway.” Alexander stormed off toward the dining room leaving Danny to ponder his possible fate.

  “No, no. Go on. It’s only that.. .I don’t think I have parasites. But if you say so.”

  Alexander turned to Danny. “Okay, there’s only one way to find out. Come here. You need a table. The next step is the hardest but also the most important. Once you’ve shaved and poured on the gasoline, you get a really sharp knife and put your dick on the table. Then you light a match and set the whole damn thing on fire.”

  “What?”

  “And when the little bastards come running out, you stab them one by one like this.” He demonstrated, stabbing the table in desperate random thrusts. He exploded into laughter, laughing so hard tears streamed from his eyes.

  Insulted and thoroughly embarrassed, the boy glowered at Alexander who continued to laugh uncontrollably. Unable to bear the humiliation, Danny turned and fled from the cabin.

  “Told you you couldn’t handle it!” Alexander yelled after him between laughs.

  “Alexander, are you the one showing me this movie?” asked Sarah.

  The attic offered only silence.

  “It’s been months now, and all you’ve shown me is corruption and lies. I need you to confirm if these incidents are in Daniel’s past. What happened to him? What am I supposed to do with this piecemeal information? Is all this even real? Whoever you are, tell me that at least.”

  Silence.

  “Either tell me or leave me alone.”

  Abruptly, the image of a much older Alexander flashed before her as he made his way down a wooden staircase, his face contorted in pain and shock. His left hand gripped the bannister, his right hand clutched at his chest as he felt his life slip away. His eyes focused ahead of him, searching, inquiring, fear and curiosity entangled as one. He slumped to the floor.

  That scene vanished only to be replaced by an image of Daniel, staring in disbelief up the same staircase. He had none of the facial blemishes and scars caused by the beating.

  Without warning, a tornado of shadows came crashing down the staircase while flashes of blood and violence exploded incoherently. There were hints of a knife, splatters of blood, and flashes of fists, all intermingled chaotically in the dark chasm that swallowed Daniel. The images vanished as abruptly as they had appeared.

  A stunned Sarah clutched the arms of the chair, catching her breath.

  “Good God, what was that? Please.”

  Silence.

  “You can’t do this to me. It’s imperative that you tell me. Did Daniel perpetrate this violence? No. He couldn’t. But.. .what then? Is Alexander dead? Did Daniel see him die? Did he kill him? No, that can’t be what I saw. But he was in the same house, on the same stairwell. Those shadows.. .are they the attackers? Did they kill Alexander and try to kill Daniel?”

  Silence.

  “Alexander, are you the one talking with me?” With a heartfelt sigh she leaned back and released her grip on the arms of the chair. She glanced around, closed her eyes, and listened.

  Silence.

  “It’s okay,” she whispered. “I won’t judge.” She waited. “What do you fear, Alexander? Why not speak to me openly, clearly?”

  Silence.

  She inhaled again. Then, she exhaled and smiled. “You’re here to help Daniel. I get that now. You’re searching for your soul, aren’t you? He has it and you need it back.”

  A creak. At long last, the attic had allowed the exchange.

  “Okay, then, I’ll help you find it, but you’ll need to give me more. I don’t understand what you showed me.”

  Silence.

  “All right. Small steps until we’re more at ease with one another.”

  Illuminated by the moonlight, she stood and moved toward the door.

  “Thank you, attic. Keep him safe, Alexander.”

  A soft creak whispered good night.

  She stroked the wood of the doorway and closed the door gently behind her.

  CHAPTER 15

  A crystal-clear day on Amaray Lake flickered into focus.

  At one end of the lake, Danny and Hugo, fishing rods in hand, sat in a small boat that rocked to the rhythm of the waves.

  “Robert is getting on my nerves,” Danny said.

  “How come?” Hugo reeled in his line to check the bait. Satisfied that it was fine, he slung it out over the water.

  “All he talks about is girls, girls, and girls.”

  “That’s what all boys your age talk about, isn’t it?”

  “But he’s so vulgar about it.”

  Hugo laughed. “So last night you were defending the behavior of those disgusting women in the movie, and today you’re an authority on decency?” “No, it’s not that. It’s that there’s more to girls than being sex objects.” Hugo stopped laughing and looked away. “You’re too young to be talking about sex.”

  “I’m not too young.”

  “Yes, you are. When I was your age, I didn’t even know what the word meant.

  “That was then. Now we know exactly what it means.”

  Hugo gave his son a condescending glance. “You don’t either. How could you? We haven’t even had our talk yet.”

  “That’s old fashioned. Nowadays we learn about it from magazines and books, and school and from those who—well, who’ve done it. Really Dad, you need to be more in tune with my generation.”

  Hugo shot an angry look in Danny’s direction. “Don’t get smart with me. Is this what you had in mind asking me to fish with you? To talk to me about sex?”

  “I know all I need to know about sex.”

  “Danny, for Pete’s sake, how could you say that? You’re a kid.”

  “I’m a lot more experienced than you give me credit for.”

  Hugo was visibly taken aback. “Don’t tell me that you and that neighbor girl are—”

  “No! Of course not, I’m in love with Ellie. I wouldn’t have sex with her. I mean.. .not until we’re married. That’s the point.”

  Relieved, Hugo smiled and shook his head. “Well, that’s a good way to look at it, but you’re losing me, son. I don’t understand what you expect from me.” “Well, there are women you love from afar, and then there are women you don’t.”

  “Is that so?”

  “You’re n
ot taking me seriously, are you?”

  “I am. I’m simply not sure what you are asking.” He pulled in his empty line and frowned. “First let me row farther out, we’re not catching anything here.”

  Danny reeled in his line while Hugo grabbed the oars and rowed further into the lake.

  “It’s about figuring out who is who,” Danny explained.

  “I still don’t get you.”

  “Dad, was Mom your first.. .love?”

  Hugo stared inquisitively at Danny. “What’s this all about? What are you getting at?”

  “I can’t figure out how to handle Ellie, and I—”

  “Handle? You mean you wonder if Ellie cares for you?”

  “She does, that’s the trouble.”

  Hugo spread his arms in dismay. “Now you really have lost me.”

  “Okay, so I love Ellie, but I also love.. .well, this other.. .well—”

  “You love two girls?”

  “You can say that.”

  “Well either you do or don’t. Which is it?”

  He nodded emphatically. “I do.”

  “And they both care for you?”

  “Yes, in their own way they do.”

  Hugo smiled. “Some would say that’s a nice problem to have, but not at your age. Put a stop to it all and stay away from girls until you grow up. You’re way too young to be talking about love and getting involved with girls.”

  “How can you say that? I’m fifteen. And learning about girls and love is a part of growing up. It must’ve happened to you too.”

  Hugo frowned. “No, it didn’t. I would never have permitted it.”

  “But you told me you fell for Mom in your teens.”

  “Yes, but that was different. I knew we’d be married. You’re far from that.” “But I do have these feelings and I need your advice.”

  Hugo allowed his son a fatherly smile. “Listen, I understand your dilemma. I don’t like it, but I do understand it.”

  “So what do I do?”

  “I take it you can’t make up your mind as to which one of these two girls you prefer?”

  “Well, not exactly.. .I.. .well—”

  “What is it?”

  “One of them is innocent and pure, and the other is a bit on the wild side.” “Wild?”

  “Fun. Like crazy, like wow. I’d like to be with both of them, but I can’t bring myself to do that.”

  “That’s good, son. I’m glad to hear that.”

  “I somehow can’t be with the innocent one because I’m.. .well, I’m more mature than she is and I can’t cross the line with her.”

  “That’s good.”

  “But I can’t leave the wild one because she’s lots of fun.”

  “Fun as in ‘having fun, right? Let me make sure I understand. When you say wild, she’s not one to get you and her into trouble, is she?”

  Danny blushed and looked at his feet shaking his head. “No.”

  “You care for both the same?”

  “No, not really.”

  “Then what’s the problem? Choose the nice and pure girl. She should be the one you care for the most. It’s holier and safer.”

  “I love them both the most, it’s a different ‘most.’”

  “Son, you’re not making sense. You’re completely confused. Like I said before, forget about love altogether. You’re too young to take things so seriously. Enjoy life for as long as you can without the complications that women bring into the picture.”

  “You love Mom.”

  “I do.”

  Danny gazed out at the horizon. “I want to have what you have with her. The same as what Wesley had in Rainbow. I told you about that book.”

  Hugo squeezed his son’s shoulder. “You and your books. Life is different from books.”

  “Dad, books are life. They’re written to show us how—”

  “Those books are fantasy, like that movie the other night. They’re made-up stories. You can’t live your life according to a book.”

  “You do.”

  “I most certainly don’t.”

  “You do, Dad.”

  Hugo turned crimson with anger. “Now you’re being ornery to make your point.”

  “Dad, you follow the Bible. That’s a book.”

  “I follow God’s teachings, that’s different.”

  “God’s teachings were written in the Bible. You follow the Bible’s written words.”

  “Son, you can’t compare the Bible with a novel, a made-up story, a book of fiction. The Bible is not pretend. I’m offended that you’d make such a comparison.” Hugo’s brow furrowed. “This discussion is over. I forbid you to compare The Bible to a book of fiction. Understand?”

  “I do, Dad, but I’m not comparing. Honest. I’m telling you that sometimes a book—well the story in a book—inspires me, the way the stories in the Bible inspire you. I’m after what Wesley found in Rainbow.”

  “And what is that?” Hugo said forcing himself to regain composure. “Love, pure love. The kind of love that you told me you and Mom have.”

  “And what do you think that is?”

  “I don’t think, you told me all about it.”

  “I did?”

  “You once told me that the love you and Mom have ties you forever to one another and doesn’t let anything come between you. The love of soul mates, you called it.”

  Hugo looked stunned. “How could you quote me so well? That was a long time ago.”

  “Because they were true and sincere, like the words in Rainbow. C’mon, Dad, don’t get sad about it. Look at me. I’m a bit confused, but happy to be in search of that. Isn’t that good?”

  Hugo turned back to his son, his eyes conveying a blend of sadness and tenderness. “It is good, son. I’m certain you’ll find your soul mate when the time comes, but for now, be a kid.”

  “Too late for that, Dad,” Danny muttered under his breath.

  Hugo shot the boy a look of concern. “I hope what you said doesn’t mean you’ve crossed the line with this wild girl you speak of.”

  “What exactly do you mean by that?”

  “Do not play word games with me, son. This is not a conversation where your bookworm know-how will impress me. Have you—”

  Danny interrupted his father. “The wild girl is a doll, she’s nice and cares for me, she gets me, understands me. She’s easy to be with. The other girl is... well.. .a bit more.. .reserved, and I’m nervous with her, it isn’t so easy, yet she’s a doll too.”

  Hugo shook his head. “I don’t like this business. Not one bit. Care for my advice?”

  Danny nodded.

  “Will you abide by it?”

  With a hint of reluctance, Danny nodded again.

  Hugo smiled thinly. “Good. Stay away from this wild girl you’re so fond of before you’re tempted to do something you’ll regret forever. Something that could ruin both your lives.”

  “I won’t—”

  “Oh, you will. Believe me, you will be tempted,” Hugo said sadly. “That’s our lot in life, to be enticed and tested. God keeps an eye on us to make sure we stay away from temptations.”

  “No sermon, Dad—”

  “This is not a sermon.” Hugo glared at his son. “Pay attention. I’m speaking the truth.” He turned away, staring into the waters of the lake. “You’re too young to understand what temptation is and what it does to a man’s soul. You don’t know what it means to realize you’ve been lured into sin, and can’t help yourself. You can’t stop. You’re enticed over and over again, and each time you give in you slip deeper and deeper toward hell. You’re aware that it’s wrong, and nevertheless you crave more.” A tear appeared on his cheek, and Hugo wiped it away.

  Danny stared at the anguished face of his father. “I’m sorry Dad. I didn’t mean to remind you of the lost souls you’ve had to help.”

  A pathetic smile appeared on Hugo’s face. “I’m the one who’s sorry. That was uncalled for.” He paused. “My point is, stay away from g
irls as long as you can. Enjoy your youth.”

  “Okay, Dad, no sweat. I dig your meaning. Don’t get upset.”

  Hugo laughed, and at that moment a fish tugged on his line, and he proudly reeled it in.

  In the Fosters’ garden, a shirtless Danny pruned the rose bushes. He removed the dead leaves and patted down the newly dug soil around each rose bush, sweating heavily in the hot summer sun.

  From her window, Mrs. Foster studied him as she ran a fingertip sensually along her lips.

  Danny reached for the hose to water the roses, but first brought the stream to his lips, bent forward, and held the nozzle over his head to cool himself. He straightened up, shook the water from his hair and sprayed the roses.

  He glanced up at the window and spotted Mrs. Foster.

  She slipped her hand under her blouse and caressed her breast.

  The boy dropped the hose, shut off the water, and raced toward the back door.

  “He chose Mrs. Foster over young Ellie,” Sarah told her husband with raised eyebrows. She’d stopped by the store hoping to ask Daniel a few questions, but had found Conrad alone.

  “He’s very young, and he’s struggling with tough decisions. He clearly distinguishes right from wrong, but Mrs. Foster’s seduction is too powerful a temptation for a teenage boy.”

  “He’s on his own. Alexander’s been no help at all. He’s the one who enticed him into living the life of a libertine in the first place.”

  “But he told the boy that he and Mrs. Foster were after the same thing, his innocence.”

  “But Danny didn’t catch his meaning. Why would they do that to an adolescent boy?”

  “Power, I would imagine.”

  Sarah considered it for a moment. “She definitely enjoys the power to have him satisfy her lust. But Alexander’s different. He seeks inspiration and is smitten by the kid’s youth and innocence. He envies him.”

  “Same difference. They’re both selfish and immoral. Poor kid. Anyway, what brings you here?” Conrad said. “You could’ve told me this last installment tonight at dinner.”

  “I came to chat with Daniel. Where are they?”

  “Tom is making deliveries. Daniel is with Elisabeth fixing dinner for Doc. This will be his last visit with Daniel. He’s all healed.”