All Piss and Wind

by David Salter

  But twice a day comes ‘truth or dare’ time. We crowd around the HF radio during the mandatory position-reporting skeds and watch as the navigator plots the positions of the other yachts as they each call in. How far behind is EZ Street? Have we taken some miles out of Cadenza? What about those buggers on Azzurro? Have they really shot through or are the cunning buggers just lurking over the horizon? There’s always plenty of fun to be had for a racing crew coming together in such a simple, common cause.

  And, barring major disasters, we get there. The pleasure of finishing the job. Light-hearted elation as we haul down the sails after crossing the line. Fire up the donk, someone, there’s jugs of rum waiting! For the older heads in the afterguard, the personal satisfaction of seeing careful preparation pay off. We made the journey, everyone got here in one piece, nothing failed.

  As we step off the yacht for the first time in days most of us will instinctively look back after just a few paces to check her nestling happily into the dock. That’s the moment when sailing boats seem most like people. Few experienced crew can resist some muttered words of thanks. ‘Well done, old girl. Got us here again.’ Boat-to-boat bets are settled in bottles of Bundy, the traditional currency of Australian offshore yachting. War stories are exchanged. We gloat over our final position, or moan about the boat’s unfair handicap. Wait until next year, you bastards!

  So, the rewards of sailing offshore are many, various and splendid. Yet, in the end, the single quality that draws me to the sea more than any other is – to wax a trifle pretentious – metaphysical rather than personal. It’s the sense that no matter how strong, clever or resourceful we may be, even the finest sailors in the world are powerless before the ocean’s might. When things get really nasty, smart sailors yield to the massive forces of the sea. They never fight it. Surviving that experience is always exciting, sometimes frightening, often fiercely beautiful, and – when the worst has passed – utterly humbling. Nothing puts me more in my place as a human being than completing a tough passage.

  We’re all insignificant offshore.

  Roll on, thou deep and dark blue Ocean – roll!

  Ten thousand fleets sweep over thee in vain;

  Man marks the earth with ruin – his control

  Stops with the shore.

  Lord Byron, Childe Harold, 1818

  This is not meant to be an exhaustive guide to nautical language. It confines itself to words and terms as used in this book, and their common Australian meanings.

  12-metre: international class of day-racing yacht in which the America’s Cup was contested from 1958 to 1987 inclusive. These elegant classics are much longer than 12 metres, most measuring between 65 and 70 feet (up to 22 metres).

  18-footer: spectacular development class of skiff raced predominantly in Sydney and Brisbane for the past 100 years.

  abeam: position roughly at 90 degrees to the yacht’s direction of travel.

  afterguard: senior crew responsible for tactics, usually residing in the cockpit (and usually wrong).

  America’s Cup: the most famous trophy in yacht racing, held by America from its inception in 1851 until Australia II defeated Liberty in 1983. Currently held by Switzerland, that well-known seafaring nation.

  apparent/true (wind): the two key indications of wind speed and direction as measured while the yacht is in motion. ‘True’ is the wind speed as it would be were the yacht not moving; ‘apparent’ is the speed of the wind as it seems to be as it passes over the deck with the yacht in motion, that is, the combined speed of the ‘true’ wind plus or minus the speed of the yacht as it travels either into, or with, the wind. So, in 10 knots of ‘true’, sailing on a square run at 5 knots, the ‘apparent’ will be 5 knots. Conversely, in the same 10 knots of ‘true’, with the yacht working into that wind at 5 knots, the ‘apparent’ will be around 13 knots. Confused?

  asymmetric: modern type of spinnaker cut more like a ballooning headsail with a fixed tack and only one clew that must be moved around the forestay during each gybe.

  Australia: in a coastal race, any part of the course that isn’t water.

  battens: thin strips of cane or fibreglass inserted into pockets sewn into the sail to provide control of the shape. Useful for disciplining recalcitrant crew.

  beak: end-fitting of a spinnaker pole that carries the sheets and braces. On larger yachts it can be remotely opened by a pull-rope that runs back towards the mast inside the pole.

  beam: the transverse dimension of a yacht at its widest point.

  beam (on the): when the wind is blowing at a direction of 90 degrees to the yacht, also known as a ‘reach’.

  bearing/heading: terms that are commonly used as synonyms, but aren’t. ‘Bearing’ is the direction, usually given in degrees to port or starboard, from a yacht’s track to another object. ‘Heading’ is the compass reading of the direction in which the yacht is moving.

  Beaufort Scale: now-neglected classification system for wind strength and sea states. It ranges from 0 (calm) to 12 (hurricane).

  bend: (v) (n); knot, or the action of tying that knot, which usually joins one rope to another.

  block: a common fitting that incorporates one or more revolving sheaves that allow a rope to be controlled under load.

  board: the distance and direction a yacht travels on one tack to windward.

  bolt rope: a rope sewn into the luff or foot of a sail, usually the mainsail, that allows it to be raised and lowered by feeding into a groove within the spar.

  bombora: shelf of rock just below the ocean surface designed to arrest the progress of unwary sailors wishing to ‘cut the corner’.

  boots: cockpit fittings designed to hold winch handles.

  bosun: contraction of ‘boatswain’. An experienced crew-member responsible for the general running and maintenance of a yacht.

  bosun’s chair: contraption in which unlucky crew members are hauled to the top of the mast to effect repairs, inspect the rigging etc.

  bowsprit: spar that protrudes from the bow of a yacht for the purpose of carrying a foresail or spinnaker. Also very useful for making large holes in other boats.

  brace: rope that controls the fore-and-aft movement of a spar, most commonly the spinnaker pole.

  brailing line: length of rope used to secure the reefed portion of a mainsail (sometimes the entire sail) along the boom in bad weather.

  bricks: where no yacht is meant to go.

  brig: abbreviation of ‘brigantine’, the durable sailing ship of the 18th and 19th centuries with two masts, square-rigged, and an additional gaff-and-boom sail on the mainmast.

  bulkhead: lateral partition within a yacht that divides the interior and adds structural strength.

  burgee: small flag raised by pretentious owners to flaunt their yacht club membership.

  cam cleat: ingenious spring-loaded device that allows a line to be held or released with great speed and the minimum of effort.

  canting keel: an abomination of modern yacht design whereby the keel is hinged fore-and-aft at the point of attachment to the hull. This enables the keel to be swung (‘canted’) to windward, providing huge mechanical advantage (see ‘righting moment’).

  car: a block mounted on a slide which can be positioned anywhere along a track fixed to the deck so that headsails can be sheeted at their most efficient angle.

  carbon: generic term for a range of exotic carbon-fibre based materials now used for the construction of yachts and spars with great strength for their low weight.

  casing: softer outer braided material of a rope that encases its load-bearing core.

  Category One: class of extended offshore race that includes long distances sailed well beyond land and therefore requiring the yacht and its equipment to meet stringent safety standards.

  centreboard: fin keel that can be manually raised and lowered in small boats. The term is also used as a generic description for any ‘off the beach’ class.

  chain plates: sturdy fittings at each side of the boat,
directly outboard of the mast, that serve to attach the shrouds to the hull.

  checkstays: secondary shrouds, often paired with runners, that assist in preventing the mast from toppling into the tide.

  chicken chute: the smallest spinnaker carried on a boat, deployed in moments of collective cowardice.

  chine: angle formed along a boat’s hull (usually those constructed of plywood) where the topsides meet the undersection.

  clew: aft extremity of a sail to which a sheet or outhaul is attached.

  clinker: method of small-boat construction in which the hull planking is overlapped and through-fastened.

  clipper bow: traditional design feature where the profile of the for’d overhang is concave, offering better support for the bowsprit.

  coach-house: raised central portion of the deck that provides headroom below and space for port-holes and hatches.

  coffee-grinder: type of winch on larger yachts where a system of rotating handles transfers power from one or two ‘grinder’ crew to the winch drum.

  companionway: access steps or ladder leading below from the cockpit.

  cringle: eyelet of stainless steel fitted into the corners of a sail to attach sheets, outhauls, downhauls, reefing lines, etc.

  cross-tree: strut protruding from the mast to help hold shrouds in position and transfer rigging loads (see also ‘spreader’).

  Cunningham eye: cringle set low into the luff of the mainsail that, via a tackle, allows the hoist tension to be controlled independently of the halyard.

  cutter: form of sloop rig with two headsails, each set on their own permanent stay.

  deadwood: in a traditional yacht, the vertical portion of the keel to which the lead ballast is attached.

  deck ape: crew member retained more for his physical strength than sailing ability.

  displacement: in deference to Archimedes’ Principle, the correct term for the all-up weight of a yacht.

  dodger/doghouse: contraption, sometimes demountable, that protects the companionway and the for’d portion of the cockpit in bad weather.

  donk: common vernacular term for the engine, because it does all the ‘donkey work’.

  double-ender: classic style of yacht in which the stern sections come to a point similar to the bow (also known as a ‘canoe stern’).

  downwind/upwind (downhill/uphill): yachts cannot sail straight into the wind. To make progress ‘upwind’ – in the direction the wind is coming from – they must tack in a zig-zag path, rarely sailing closer than 40 degrees to the wind. ‘Downwind’ – with the wind behind them – they can sail wherever they like.

  draft: depth of water a yacht needs to stay afloat, being the vertical distance between its waterline and the bottom of the keel.

  drogue: a device deployed on a stout line from a yacht to slow its progress in heavy weather or an emergency.

  EPIRB: Electronic Position Indicating Radio Beacon. The device no sailor wishes to activate. Each boat has one, there is another in the liferaft, and in bad weather each crew-member should carry their own small EPIRB in case of being washed overboard.

  epoxy: general term used to cover fixing and sheathing materials in which two ingredients are mixed to provide a hugely strong substance once they ‘go off’ (i.e. chemically combine).

  Etchells: a swift, three-person one-design class of international day-racer that has set a benchmark for testing pure sailing skill.

  eye splice: technique of splicing a laid rope back on itself to make a loop at one end.

  fall: the part of a halyard that must be hauled down onto the deck to raise a sail or spar.

  fantail: especially on classic yachts, the curved aft-most portion of the deck above the stern overhang. Crudely re-worked as ‘Fantale’, a caramel sweet that keeps dentists rich.

  fathom: six feet (1.82 metres), the traditional unit of depth in water.

  fender (fend off): simple padding device slung over a yacht’s side to protect it from damage when coming alongside a wharf or other yacht.

  fiddle: the raised edge of a horizontal surface on a yacht to prevent objects sliding off, but more generally now used to describe any small space or locker.

  fin-case: structure within a skiff or dinghy that holds the centreboard.

  flake: system of lowering sails, especially the main, by folding them back and forth in panels along the foot. Cadbury’s ‘Flake’ chocolate is made on the same principle.

  Flying Dutchman: long, boring opera by Richard Wagner, but also an international class of two-man centreboarder prominent in the 1960s and ’70s.

  foils: originally, underwater appendages on a boat designed to provide hydrodynamic lift. Now tends to describe any appendage, including keel, rudder, canard, dagger-boards etc.

  foot: bottom edge of a sail. Also (v), sailing slightly lower than close-hauled to gain a speed advantage.

  forefoot: portion of a yacht’s underwater shape from where the bow meets the waterline to the beginning of the keel.

  forestay: fixed line of rigging running from the upper portion of the mast to the bow.

  foretriangle: triangular area bounded by the mast, forestay and deck.

  fractional rig: style of sloop-rigged yacht in which the headsail and forestay do not reach all the way to the top of the mast.

  frames: structural members of the hull that run internally athwartships to which the planking is fastened.

  freeboard: the height of a yacht from its waterline to deck level.

  furler: device attached to the bow that allows the jib to be rolled up around the forestay.

  gaffer/gaff rig: many traditional yachts are ‘gaff-rigged’, having a quadrilateral mainsail rather than the conventional right-angled triangle shape. This requires an additional upper spar – the gaff – which is used to raise and lower the sail.

  galley: area below set aside for cooking. ‘Galley slave’ = cook.

  genoa: a style of large headsail whose clew, when sheeted, comes aft of the mast. More recently, the term is used generically to describe any headsail. Their size range is indicated by numbers, #1 usually being the largest and #4 the smallest.

  GPS: Global Positioning System, a marvel of satellite and computer technology that offers virtually instant information as to a boat’s position and speed, rendering the traditional sextant skills of navigation obsolete. First used by members of the ancient Fugawi tribe, as in ‘Where the f—k are we?’

  grab rails: hand rails fixed to the interior roof of a yacht so that crew can move about with relative safety at sea. Too many modern yachts don’t have enough of them.

  greeny: any large amount of water that falls onto a yacht without breaking. The ocean, at least when it fills the cockpit, usually appears green.

  grinder: person who does the hard work winding a winch.

  guesser: person who does the dry work below, working out where we are, and why.

  gunnel: outboard edge of a yacht where the topsides meet the deck.

  gunnel bum: unfortunate abrasive affliction of the posterior that comes to most of us towards the end of a long race.

  gybe: downwind manoeuvre in which to achieve a change of course the boat must bring its sails from one side to the other while passing through the wind. Potentially dangerous in anything other than the lightest breeze.

  Halvorsen: family of Norwegian-born boat builders whose brothers won many Sydney–Hobart races in yachts of their own design and construction.

  halyard: rope that is used to raise or lower a sail or spar.

  hank: (n) small clips fitted to the luff of a jib or genoa to attach the sail to the forestay. (v) The act of doing so.

  harden up: sail closer to the wind, which usually entails bringing on the sheets.

  head: nautical term for a toilet, also known as the ‘crouch house’.

  headboard: small plate sewn into the top of larger mainsails to help take the load.

  headsail: any fore-and-aft sail rigged ahead of the mast.

  heel: the angle to
which a yacht has been pushed from the vertical by the force of wind on its sails.

  high/low: terms used in relation to a yacht’s optimum angle sailing to windward. ‘High’ is closer to the direction the wind is coming from, ‘low’ is further away from the wind direction.

  hiking: action, in smaller boats, of crew leaning out from the high side to reduce the angle of heel.

  IOR: International Offshore Rule, a handicapping system that set the parameters of ocean racing yacht design for 20 years from the late 1960s.

  jackstays: lines of rope or webbing rigged fore-and-aft along each side of a yacht’s deck. At sea, crew attach their tethers to these lines by means of a snap-hook. This allows them to move about the boat with safety.

  jammer: lever-operated clutch fitting that enables a halyard or other line to be held and released without being made off to a cleat.

  jury rig: any improvised sail-plan constructed after a dismasting or other major accident to the standard rig.

  kicker: rope used to keep the outboard end of the spinnaker pole from rising when the sail fills. Also known as a ‘down haul’.

  kite: vernacular for ‘spinnaker’.

  knackered: technical term for crew’s physical state after any strenuous effort.

  knock: distinct change in wind direction adverse to the yacht’s intended track.

  knot: a nautical mile, the international navigational unit of distance and speed at sea. Roughly equivalent to 1.15 land miles or 1.85 kilometres.

  knots: general term used to signify any intertwining of rope. Generally divided into three main classes: knots are used to tie a rope to itself or to another rope of identical dimensions; bends tie different types of rope to each other; hitches tie a rope to another object.

  laid deck: traditional surface of narrow lengths of timber (usually teak), fixed in curves along the deck with a sliver of sealant between each row.

  layline: theoretical track which needs to be reached so that a boat can then arrive at a rounding mark or clear an obstruction without having to tack again.