Julia Jones - The Teenage Years: Boxed Set - Books 2, 3 and 4

by Katrina Kahler

  After leaving his side…trying not to appear too awkward, I attempted to sneak into my English class only to come face to face with Miss Bromley’s frown of disapproval at the sight of a student entering late. I kept my head down and discreetly searched for a place to sit. Gratefully, I spotted a seat in a corner at the back of the room and was extremely thankful to be partly hidden from her view. She was like a swooping eagle keenly searching for its prey and constantly monitored the class to ensure everyone was paying attention. If any student appeared distracted or off task, they bore the risk of the threat of detention, simply for not listening. She had to be the most hated teacher in the school and I was one of the many who could not stand the sight of her.

  The main issue for me right then was that I was finding it extremely difficult to concentrate on her lesson and although I pretended to be taking in her every word, my head was spinning with thoughts of Ky and our encounter in the hallway.

  Gulping deep breaths of air in an attempt to calm my nerves, I kept one eye on the clock and willed the hands to move. A double period of English was unbearable at the best of times but that morning, the time seemed to pass more slowly than ever.

  Finally, the bell sounded and I was able to make my way to the classroom door and out into the hallway. I really couldn’t get outside quickly enough and when I finally reached the exit door leading to the lunch area, I scanned the various gazebos and wooden bench seats of the grassy area where the students usually sat, in the hope that Ky might already be waiting.

  He was nowhere in sight however, so I joined Jess, Beth, Becky and a few of the others in our group, assuming that he’d know where to find me if he really was interested in hanging out. I also decided that there was no way I was going to wait on my own like an absolute loner in the hope that he would show up. That would just be too embarrassing and I’d already had enough embarrassing moments for one day, especially where Ky was concerned.

  As well, I knew that I shouldn’t appear too eager. That was a sure-fire way for him to lose interest. It was something my mom once said to me and although I’d placed little importance on what she was saying at the time, I recalled her words vividly.

  “If you like a boy, Julia, don’t ever show it. If you throw yourself at them, they won’t want to know about you or worse still, they’ll simply want to take advantage, and then you’ll find yourself being dumped. Act as if you’re not that interested and they’ll come running!”

  My mother’s words flashed through my mind and while the moment had occurred some time ago, the memory was very clear. I remembered rolling my eyes skyward, the way I usually did when she started ranting on as if she actually knew what she were talking about.

  “OMG!! Will you just shut up?” I’d murmured under my breath, all the while shaking my head with total disdain at her attempt to understand teenagers and teenage relationships.

  I could not believe she’d think I would want to discuss boys with her anyway! It had been one of those moments where all she managed to do was annoy me and I just wanted to escape from her presence and be as far away as possible.

  Recalling that scene, I thought about her advice and it all seemed to make sense in some weird kind of way. Maybe that was the secret behind the whole dating scene; if you wanted a relationship to last that was, rather than one that ended before it even had a chance to develop. I’d seen so many girls throw themselves at guys and when I really thought about it, I realized that often their ‘relationships’ didn’t last or never even took off to begin with.

  Perhaps my mother had known what she was talking about after all and perhaps there were many times when I should have listened to her advice rather than scoffing it offhandedly, and lacking interest in anything she said.

  Recollections of the years so long ago, when my mom had actually behaved in the way a mother should, sped rapidly through my thoughts; the years of my childhood, when she acted faithfully towards her husband and was someone whom we could all rely on.

  I felt a sudden loss right then, a loss for the mother I once had; the woman who was a constant trusting presence in my life, always there when I needed her. That was what I missed most and now craved for.

  The sudden twinge of nostalgia did not last however, as loving thoughts of my mom were abruptly replaced with familiar resentment. Visions of Dad and the loneliness he still felt over being deserted by his wife, as well as the fact that she had actually walked out on all of us, came rapidly to mind. How could I ever forget what she did? And how would I ever find it in my heart to forgive her?

  Desperately wanting someone to talk to, I searched the faces of the girls around me but their nonstop chatter and gossip reminded me of the shallowness that existed amongst them. They were fun to hang out with but they weren’t friends who I could share my deepest thoughts and secrets with.

  Four weeks! Four weeks and Millie would be back. I could barely wait for that day and to have a best friend in my life once more. I just wished that her family would stick to their plan. If they hadn’t decided to extend their holiday she would probably be back already. I was desperate for her return and had begun counting the days until I saw her again.

  As feelings of despair threatened to overwhelm me, I was struck by what seemed to be an apparition and all anguish instantly faded away. His figure was silhouetted by the afternoon sun but I knew it was him. The familiar outline of his muscular stance and the shake of his head when he flicked the long strands of hair from his eyes as he headed in our direction, created the accustomed stomach flutter that I had come to know so well. And I felt my mouth curve into a wide smile.

  “Don’t appear too eager, Julia!” I reminded myself silently as Beth shuffled along the wooden bench seat in order to make room for him to join us.

  Then, in typical Beth fashion, she voiced the thought that I had briefly dared to contemplate. “Hey, Ky! You should come to Julia’s Halloween party next Saturday night!”

  The enthusiastic look on Ky’s face as he glanced towards Beth and then at the expectant faces of the group, which was followed by a beaming smile directed towards me, spoke volumes.

  “A party at Julia’s? That sounds cool!”

  Trying to contain the smile that had spread across my own face, I offered him a portion of my sandwich, all the while, chatting aimlessly in an effort to control my racing pulse.

  Time to take control…

  The week passed quickly. Each day I discreetly searched the hallways and classrooms for the familiar figure that I very much hoped would appear, but each day the outcome was the same. Ky was nowhere in sight.

  At first, the frustration and disappointment threatened to overpower me. Where could he be and why was he not at school? That was the question that raced around and around inside my head. Beth, who had noticed my distracted state and also Ky’s absence, had questioned his whereabouts at one stage but I pretended disinterest and said that I had no idea where he was.

  I did not want Beth or the others to be aware of my huge crush. Although they suspected that I was keen and had teased me about it, I was not ready to share details, especially as I had no idea of his feelings in return. Perhaps, he just wanted to be friends, to have someone he could talk to and laugh with. We certainly got along well, that was obvious. But, although I could feel a connection between us, I was unsure of his true feelings so I avoided talking about him altogether. However, I remained on alert and constantly searched the school grounds in the hope of that beautiful face appearing unexpectedly at any given moment.

  It occurred to me that he might be ill or could possibly have even had an accident and I began to worry. Then I overheard one of his friends mention to the others in his group that he’d spoken to Ky the evening before and was planning to meet him that afternoon after school. I was tempted to question why Ky had been away but stopped myself just in time. I could only imagine the reaction from Ky’s friends, who I’d never actually spoken to or had anything to do with before and they would have thought it pretty st
range that a random girl who they knew nothing about, should be asking about him.

  It was all very mysterious and I wondered why he took so much time off school. What upset me most though was that my constant checking of Facebook was to no avail, as there was no sign of him using FB at all and the simple lack of any message from him led me to feel more disappointed than ever.

  I tried to remind myself that we weren’t even dating, so why would he bother to message me? We had just hung out at school a few times, that was all. But I was unable to remove him from my thoughts.

  Devastatingly for me however, I was obviously the last person he was thinking of.

  In addition to that cruel fact, almost everywhere I turned I was faced with the sight of Blake and Monica, who appeared to be completely infatuated with each other. Their obsession was noticed by everyone and it seemed to be another hot topic of the girls in our grade.

  “They’ve got to be the best looking couple in the school,” Beth commented during morning recess. “Don’t they look great together?”

  It was with a start that I realized Beth’s question had been directed towards me and she glanced my way, curiously waiting for my reply.

  Nodding with reluctant agreement, I managed to change the subject. Blake and Monica were not a couple who I wanted to spend my lunch break gossiping about. But Beth would not let the topic drop.

  “And did you hear about Sara?” she asked me enquiringly.

  Shaking my head, I replied that I hadn’t.

  “Apparently, she was furious when she found out! She’s still fixated with Blake and can’t face the fact that he actually dumped her!”

  “Ha, Ha!” Lisa laughed sarcastically. “I love it! It’s so good to see her shoved off that pedestal she had herself on.”

  “But it’s weird,” she added in a confused tone, “Because even though Sara looks like a skeleton, she still has such a high opinion of herself! It’s crazy!”

  “I know!” Becky responded, shaking her head in disgust, the frown on her face highlighting her disbelief at Sara’s noticeable loss of weight.

  And that was when Becky shared some news that I didn’t know. “I’ve heard that she’s definitely been diagnosed with anorexia and has to have regular visits with a psychologist. Apparently it’s pretty serious!”

  I, myself had noticed that Sara had been absent during the past week, but for me, that had come as a welcome reprieve. Whenever I was in the same vicinity as her I could feel my skin crawl. She had the ability to attract my attention from across a room and then death stare me until I looked away. She was a person who I was happy to have as much distance from as possible.

  However, even though I’d suspected the anorexia, I was shocked to hear that she had actually been diagnosed and was seeing a psychologist. That just made the matter so much more serious and I couldn’t believe that someone in our grade was genuinely anorexic.

  The girls continued to discuss Sara and the effects of her disorder; with Beth describing the outcome for a family member who had suffered the same condition when she was at school many years before. The worst part was that even as a mature adult, the woman still had concerns with her weight.

  Turning away then, in order to switch off from talk of Sara and her illness, thoughts of Ky filtered once more through my mind. The simple fact that I had not heard from him was making me seriously doubt that there was any genuine interest on his part and I was quickly coming to the conclusion that perhaps I was making a complete fool of myself.

  Glad that I hadn’t openly shared my feelings with anyone, I felt a flush of embarrassment at my obvious reactions whenever he was within sight. I was convinced that while others may not be aware, he must definitely realize how I felt and was simply enjoying the attention.

  “Wake up to yourself, Julia and stop dreaming of something that doesn’t even exist!” The voice inside my head had appeared from nowhere. But it was the wake-up call I desperately needed.

  When the bell signaled the end of our lunch break, I joined the girls on the walkway back to class. And by the time I reached my locker and found the books I needed, I had made up my mind, convinced I was doing the right thing.

  At my wits end, I had decided that it was about time I took control.

  Preparations…

  After promising myself to fully commit to the decision I’d made, I spent the rest of the week focusing my attention on the party that Matt and I had planned. I found that because I had something else to occupy my thoughts, the remaining days flew by and I was in a much happier state of mind.

  I’d come to terms with the fact that Ky was either not interested or was just playing games, and I could not cope another minute with the head spinning emotions that continued to torture my senses.

  “Just move on, Julia!” the words had come from nowhere but they were what I needed to hear, and although it was extremely difficult to take the advice that had been directed towards me, I knew that it was the right thing to do.

  Either that, or end up in an even more crazed frame of mind. It was all too difficult, and to continue on in that manner would lead to misery, for me anyway. I’d certainly had enough issues to contend with already without adding further to my already overwrought mental state.

  However, if I were to be truly honest with myself, I had to admit that thoughts of his handsome face still flickered through my mind during various moments of the day. And I’d found it impossible to completely eliminate the feelings associated with the images in my head. But at least I’d managed to regain some sense of normality, which was definitely reassuring. It was certainly better than the abyss I’d previously felt myself spiraling chaotically into.

  As it turned out, a party for Halloween was the perfect distraction and most of my spare time was taken up with preparation, especially as the party was rapidly approaching and there were so many things to think about.

  When Matt and I called Dad to explain our plans, he reluctantly agreed. This was mainly because, we assured him it would be a smallish party with only close friends invited. This was our intention and we were fairly certain that we could convince him to allow us to go ahead. We had considered not telling him at all, but knew that he’d be sure to find out. Our neighbors kept a close eye on what we were up to, which was pretty annoying as they always kept Dad informed. So we decided it best to just ask for his permission.

  Also, we were aware that his work roster would prevent him from being home that weekend, which was particularly fortunate for us and we were very grateful for the timing. As far as parents were concerned, our dad was pretty easy-going but we definitely preferred to have the house to ourselves. Having Dad there would just be awkward!

  “I can’t believe you actually told him!” Becky exclaimed when I told her about the conversation during one of our morning breaks. “My parents would never let me have a party and especially if they were going to be away. Your dad is so cool!”

  I nodded my head in agreement and her words made me realize how lucky Matt and I were. Although I knew that if it had been Mom in the same situation, we would’ve had to suffer a long lecture only to be given a definite ‘No’ as her final answer. When it came to compromise, our mother still needed to learn the meaning of the word. But with our mom currently out of our lives, and living with her new partner, she really didn’t have too much of a say in what we did.

  Thinking then of the creep she had chosen to live with, I felt a shiver of dislike run quickly down my spine. Just the thought of him made me feel uneasy and I shook my head with disgust in an attempt to brush away the vision of the sleazy smile and all too familiar up and down glance he had given me when I was unfortunate enough to see him last.

  But thankfully, the girls’ excited response to the party overtook all unsettling thoughts of Barry and we began an in-depth discussion of costumes, each of us tossing around ideas for cool outfits that we could possibly wear. This was something I’d been procrastinating over and was very grateful when Becky offered to le
nd me a Super Girl costume that she had recently purchased online. At the time, she’d been preparing in advance for Halloween and as she had since decided on another alternative, she offered the extra outfit to me.

  That was typical of Becky who was addicted to online shopping. It seemed she was always buying clothes only to find that she was often unhappy with her choices or that they didn’t fit properly and had to be returned; either that or she would simply give them away. I was amazed at the amount of money she was allowed to spend and it appeared that she was amongst several of my friends whose parents were very generous with their daughter’s allowance.

  But Becky’s shopping addiction proved to be a blessing for me and as we were a similar size, she assured me that it would fit perfectly.

  Pleased at the thought of how everything was coming together, I began to relax, comfortable in the knowledge that I had a cool outfit to wear which was probably one of the most important details of all.

  The girls’ infectious enthusiasm as they chatted excitedly about the party and their various costume ideas, totally lifted my spirits. The pleasure that resulted from being at the center of their excitement, was such a welcome distraction.

  One person who did not join in the excitement however, was Lisa. She’d been grounded by her parents for the foreseeable future over the Facebook incident, and her parents had refused to come to any sort of compromise.

  The ‘foreseeable future.’ What did that even mean? None of us could comprehend the despair that would result from being forced to remain in an almost lockdown situation until further notice. Her punishment seemed way too harsh to me and I was so relieved that I’d managed to escape the incident with only a warning from the deputy principal and a mild reprimand from my dad.