Chaperoned

by Dora Heldt

  His voice sounded so dejected. I was tired but didn’t need too long to figure out what the conversation was about; it was fairly obvious. As I sat up, my alarm went off.

  “Darling, I have to stop now, did you hear the alarm? She’s woken up.” He had been speaking in a whisper, but now he cleared his throat and almost shouted, “Yes, great…yes, everything here is fine, we finished it all this evening… No, everyone’s doing great and we’re all happy… Yes, the girls are fine, of course… Okay, we’ll talk later then. Bye, give my love to your new knee.”

  He hung up and walked briskly into the living room.

  “Morning! Did you sleep well?”

  He sat down next me with a bounce, and the upper section of the guest bed sprang up.

  “Oh!” My father jumped up, and the bed crashed back down. “Crikey, that’s a rickety old thing, isn’t it.”

  I pulled some socks on. “Only when two people sit at the bottom of it.”

  “Should we swap beds?”

  Amazed, I looked up at him. He was rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

  “I still need to shave. It was just a thought, with the beds I mean. Or would you really like to? I mean, if you really…”

  “Dad, what’s wrong?”

  “Oh, nothing. I’ll just go and shave. Oh, by the way, I brought over a thermos of coffee—I know how much you like a cup right after you get up. Have a sit down on the terrace and relax, wake up gradually, I’ll go over to the restaurant.” He pushed the terrace door open and walked out. “Such a lovely breeze. Just like a kiss, as your mother always says. Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to…I’ll fetch your coffee, shall I? Here, I’ll put a chair here for you so you can put your cup on it…”

  I watched as he ran eagerly past me into the kitchen. If he brings me an ashtray now, too, I might just faint. He came back balancing the pot and cup and pointed at the chair. “Coffee is served. Okay, I’m heading over now.”

  “But I thought you wanted to shave first?”

  “Oh yes.” He stroked his chin again. “Well, I can do that later. I read somewhere once that men look more dominant with beards, and that certainly can’t hurt when we’re having to deal with these furniture delivery men from the mainland. Otherwise they’ll think they can just order us islanders around. Okay, take your time, and I’ll see you later. Maybe you can give your mother a ring.”

  “Why?”

  His answer sounded almost too innocent. “Oh, no reason, but I thought you liked having some girl talk now and then? You know how much she loves talking on the phone. Go on, give her a call.”

  He left with a smile, followed shortly by the sound of the door closing in the lock. I took the phone out to the terrace with me and dialed the number of my mother’s hospital room. She answered after the first ring with that particular voice mothers have when they sense their children are having a rough time. Just hearing it brought tears to my eyes.

  “Oh, Mom, it’s all gotten so complicated.”

  Her answer was tactful. “Your father mentioned something was going on. What’s happening?”

  As if some valve had been opened, it all just poured out of me. In no logical order, I just started talking, about Johann, the best man I’d ever met, his eyelashes, Gisbert’s phone, the night we’d spent together, his eyes, Bremen, Gesa and the old woman in the hotel, Hubert, who was in on it now too, Marleen, who was against it, Kalli spying, the argument, Mechthild and Hannelore acting as decoys, my broken heart, and my father, who had started bringing me coffee, and for a moment had even offered to swap beds.

  When I finally stopped for air, I remembered how old I was and felt embarrassed. I could have chosen to just tell my mother—who, after all, was recovering from an operation—my nice holiday stories. My nose was blocked and I didn’t have a tissue; the noises I was making were embarrassing even to me.

  “Do you have a tissue?”

  “Yes, just a minute.” The struggle to open my purse and fish out my tissues with just one hand gave me time to pull myself together.

  “Sorry, I didn’t sleep well.”

  My mother didn’t react. “I really don’t know why you’re all turning this into such a big thing. There are only two possibilities: either this Thiess is a criminal, and then it’s a matter for the police and Dad and his troop will get into the paper. If it’s all just hot air, then you can carry on falling in love in peace, and the men will have to apologize to him. Where’s the problem?”

  I hated pragmatism when it came at the wrong moment.

  “Mom, it’s not that easy to—”

  “And besides, you’re both there to help Marleen out. You have to be ready today, and the opening’s tomorrow. You don’t have time to be playing the Hardy Boys.”

  “I’m not the one playing.”

  “You should watch out for your father. He watches too much television. He always gets swept away by these crime stories. You know what he’s like. So, pull yourself together, things aren’t as bad as they seem. And I really can’t believe my daughter would fall for some con man. We brought you up better than that.”

  She paused. I tried to think of something to say to lighten the mood, but my mother beat me to it. “When I think about it properly, it’s all just nonsense. Christine, you’re forty-five. Just ask the young man if there’s something you’re not sure about, and don’t let a load of old retirees put ideas into your head.”

  “Mom, I—”

  “And stop sounding so weepy. Go and get some work done, otherwise the opening tomorrow won’t be up to much. And watch your father and Kalli. Don’t let them get into any more trouble.”

  I blew my nose and promised. She was right.

  When I got to the breakfast room, Gesa had already done all the work. I started to apologize, but she laid her hand on my arm and looked at me sympathetically. “I woke up really early today,” she said. “Go and have breakfast, there’ll be enough to do in the restaurant afterward.”

  A little taken aback, I sat down at our table. My father was already gone, and in front of my plate was a schnapps glass with four daisies in it. The twins were looking over at me curiously from the next table.

  “Is it your birthday?” asked Emily.

  “No.” I pushed the glass to the side a little. “Are the flowers from you two?”

  Lena shook her head. “Your dad put them there. Is it really not your birthday?”

  “No, it really isn’t. So Heinz did it?”

  “Yes.” Emily nodded emphatically. “He said it was ‘just because.’ I want some, too.”

  “I’ll tell him.”

  As I was spreading butter on my roll, Dorothea came into the room.

  “Morning, Christine. I’m in dire need of a coffee. They’re unloading the furniture over there. Nils stuck the plan to the bar showing exactly where everything needs to go, so we can have breakfast in peace.” Dorothea reached for the coffeepot before she even sat down. “Oh, look at those flowers, how sweet! A secret admirer? Or still the old one?”

  “Dorothea!” Nils’s tone sounded a lot like my mother’s. “Morning, Christine, may we join you?”

  My mouth already full, I gestured to him to sit down.

  “Thanks.” He sat opposite me and looked at me attentively. “Did you sleep well?”

  “Yes, why?”

  His answer was hesitant. “Oh…just because you weren’t feeling that great…and…”

  I looked at him, but he avoided my gaze. Dorothea shrugged. “Your father informed us rather dramatically last night that you were in the throes of a personal crisis and that we should all go easy on you.” She grinned; I nearly choked.

  Nils gave her a kick. “Dorothea, that was said in confidence.”

  My roll fell from my hands and landed on my plate. “Ugh, why didn’t you tell me? My private life isn’t up for public debate, you know.”

  Dorothea pinched the rest of my roll from my plate and started eating it. “Heinz will have less time for espionage if he’s looking aft
er you.” She pointed at the daisies. “Are they from the children?”

  “No.”

  I stroked the flower carefully. One petal fell to the table. He loves me…

  Maybe Heinz had put them there so I could consult the oracle. As I pushed my glass aside, another petal fell. He loves me not…

  It was such a silly child’s game.

  “I’m going over there now.” I got up and picked up the schnapps glass. “And the flowers were from Heinz, by the way.”

  We all stared at the four daisies. The next petal fell. He loves me…

  Oh, for heaven’s sake. I put the glass back down carefully and made my way over to the restaurant, trying my best to hold my head high.

  A moving van with Hamburg plates was parked diagonally in the courtyard. A few men were heaving plastic-wrapped furniture down from it and carrying it into the restaurant kitchen. I pushed through the door behind a blond man who was carrying a table on his shoulder.

  The noise inside the restaurant was deafening. The radio was blaring out, Hubert, Kalli, and Carsten were barking out orders from three different corners, the delivery men were shoving the various pieces of furniture here and there, and somewhere, a cell phone was ringing. With my hands over my ears, I crossed the room and turned down the radio, which made the cell phone sound even louder.

  “Phone.” My father, who was standing in the middle of the room holding a sketch, looked up briefly.

  “There’s a phone ringing. Hello, young man, that chair there goes in the corner on the right. Always ask first. Now will someone please answer that phone!”

  “Oh, it’s mine.” Carsten pulled a cell phone from his shirt pocket. He must be deaf. It had rung at least ten times. “Yes, hello?”

  He held the phone a distance away from his ear. “Nils! I can’t hear you. What? Nearer? Are you nuts? That’s how you get cauliflower ear… Heinz read it somewhere… What? Of course we know where things go, we’re not stupid. You can take your time, we know what we’re doing… Yes, yes, the plan, it’s fine… Bye.” He stared intently at the phone, pressed one of the buttons, and then put it away again. “The Master Interior Architect is worried we’re going to do something wrong. Well, you should have seen his bedroom when he was a kid. He didn’t have a plan then, old Dad did it all. Without me it would have just been a room full of junk.”

  “Well, that’s what children are like.” Kalli pulled the plastic off a chair. “They’re very quick to forget. But they always think they know better.”

  My father had appeared next to me and gave me a nudge.

  “Well? Are you okay?”

  “Thanks for the flowers.”

  He waved nonchalantly. “Oh, they were just standing around. I dropped my key and saw them. They were a little tired-looking, so I rescued them. They’re really pretty, aren’t they?”

  I nodded. “Yes, very. Now show me the plan, then I can help out.”

  My father pressed the drawing to his chest. “It’s best if just one person gives the instructions, otherwise it gets confusing. Why don’t you help Kalli? He’s taking off all the plastic, but not doing such a good job of stacking it all up.”

  “Why? It’s just going to get thrown away.”

  “Are you crazy? It’s really good plastic, someone could make use of it. Marleen will want to keep it, I’m sure.”

  I had my doubts, but was distracted by Hubert, who was shouting at one of the moving men. “Are your fingers clean, young man? That’s a white chair—make sure you only touch the plastic.”

  The “young man” put the chair down where he was standing and looked around for help. His colleague made an appeasing gesture and waved him back outside. Hubert stared after them, shaking his head.

  “They’ve got a nerve. Oh, good morning, Christine. Is everything okay?”

  “Of course, good morning. So what can I do?”

  “You could fetch some coffee and tea perhaps.” Kalli’s suggestion was a little hesitant. “We did ask Gesa, but she hasn’t had time yet. But only if it’s not too much trouble for you. I mean, given that you’re not feeling too well.”

  I began to realize just how theatrical my father’s description of my predicament must have been.

  “Kalli, I’m not ill or moronic. Fine, I’ll go and get some coffee then.”

  He gave a start. “Oh, no, that’s not what I meant, I mean…could you bring tea too, perhaps? Only if it’s not too much trouble, though.”

  Onno knelt down in front of his toolbox, which was on the floor between me and my father. “When my sister’s dog died,” he said as he rummaged through it, “she was really unhappy too. So my brother-in-law bought her a new puppy. That really helped.”

  Irritated, I wondered whether Onno meant what I feared he did. He wrinkled up his forehead and took the words right out of my mouth.

  “But then, Thiess isn’t dead.”

  “And besides, what’s Christine supposed to do with a puppy?” my father added. “An animal like that needs lots of time, training, and so on. She doesn’t have time for all that.”

  I bit my lip and went to fetch the drinks.

  Gesa was pouring coffee into a thermos flask and only looked up briefly as I came into the kitchen.

  “Can you take the coffee over for me quickly? I haven’t had time yet. Frau Weidemann-Zapek dropped the bowl of cream cheese and it’s gone all over the radiator bars. I could have smacked her. And she just asks me to bring her a new one right away. Who does she think she is?”

  “A decoy.” I opened the fridge and took out the milk. “They’re part of the plucky home guard.”

  “That stupid article actually is in the paper today. Have you already seen it?”

  I put cups and the jug on a tray. “No, but I don’t need to. Hearing it read out was enough. I’ll just bring this across then.”

  “Christine?” Gesa reached out and touched my shoulder.

  “Yes?”

  “I’m sorry. If I can help you somehow, just say.”

  The cups clinked together as I slammed the tray down on the table.

  “Gesa, I don’t know what my father told you all yesterday evening, and I don’t think I want to. But I am in full possession of my mental capabilities and not on the edge of a nervous breakdown. Johann Thiess is not the first man I’ve made a mistake with—although that isn’t even proven to be the case yet—he has neither damaged me nor fleeced me, nothing sensational at all has happened, so please stop with the pity party. It really is ridiculous. My father’s picking daisies for me, Onno wants to buy me a puppy, and Kalli jumps if I go anywhere near him. Just leave me in peace to be in a bad mood if I want to be. I’m taking this over, and then I’m going to have a cigarette in the garden.”

  I put the tray down on the first available table in the restaurant and turned straight back around again, fleeing the melancholic love ballad blaring out of the radio. The moving men already looked distraught. My father was directing them loudly and with sweeping hand gestures into the right corners, then Hubert and Kalli were pushing things into the right place. The layout looked strange somehow, but I didn’t care right now. Gesa came through the door with a second tray.

  “I put some coffee out by the lounge chairs for you. I’ll have a cigarette with you in a moment. My God, what a racket!”

  I went slowly out into the garden. The sun was shining down brightly. I held my face up to it and jumped in shock as Gesa appeared and sank down beside me.

  “So, the troops are having a coffee break. By the way, do they actually know where all the furniture’s supposed to go?”

  I lit a cigarette. “Yes, Nils drew up a plan.”

  “Mhm…” Gesa played with the lighter. “But for some reason it doesn’t look quite right. They’re putting everything in one corner.”

  A bicycle bell made us both stub out our cigarettes quickly. Only then did we lean forward to see who it was. Marleen put her bike in the shed and came over to us.

  “Hi, I’m back. Do you
have some coffee for me?”

  Gesa stood up. “I’ll get you a cup. Next time perhaps you could shout out that it’s you. We wasted those cigarettes.”

  “Seriously, how old are you guys?” Marleen sat down in Gesa’s seat and leaned back. “I hate these bank appointments. And they always last longer than they’re supposed to. So? How’s it all going?”

  “The furniture van is almost empty. We’re doing good time-wise. Hey, couldn’t you have stopped my father last night? Everyone’s treating me as though I’ve lost my senses. What on earth did he tell you all?”

  “A lot.” Marleen grinned and started drinking from my cup. “He told us about all the times your heart’s been broken and that it was hard for him that he wasn’t allowed to thrash the guys. And then Kalli and Carsten chimed in, saying that their daughters had suffered too, we—”

  “Frau de Vries!”

  The voice sounded loud, impatient, and angry. And belonged to the blond moving man I’d seen earlier when they were unloading. Now he was standing in front of the lounge chairs, his jugular pulsing.

  “I saw you come in. I have to speak with you. We just can’t work like this.”

  “Hello, Herr Keller. What happened?”

  “We’re supposed to deliver the furniture. We carry it all in, too; that’s part of our service. But I refuse to move everything around for the third time just because the men you have helping you can’t agree on anything. And now they suddenly want everything in a U formation.”

  That didn’t sound good. I took another cigarette. Herr Keller wiped the sweat from his brow while Marleen looked at him, baffled.

  “But there’s a plan of exactly where everything goes. I don’t see what the problem is.”

  “Plan?” He was practically shouting. “What plan? The man with the cap on has some funny little scrap of paper, and the others keep on making new suggestions. We have to be on the ferry again in two hours. And they’re refusing to give us the plastic wrapping back—I thought we were supposed to take the trash away with us? This is all too much. Either you sort it out with them or we’re leaving right now.”