Elemental Fear

by Ada Frost

  Johan coughed at my sudden and completely off the wall question. “Erm...no. You know, I don’t.” He looked up at me, and the mischievous grin he sports on a regular basis spread across his face. “Why you wanting to ride the Johan express?” He winked at me.

  “What? No! That’s...I wasn’t...” I spluttered, then he burst out laughing.

  “Eve, babe, I'm joking. No, I don’t have a girlfriend. Nor do I have a boyfriend before you ask.” He pointed his fork at me.

  “Oh...I wasn’t...oh...are you gay?” I hadn’t considered maybe he would be gay, but the fact he mentioned it, made me think –

  He laughed again. “Jesus, Eve, you are on a roll today.” He shook his head joyfully. “No, I'm not gay, but I offered that up because it has been assumed because I don’t date women, that I am gay. But I neither date women nor men. I'm happy as I am, alone and content.” He smiled at me. “When I phone my parents, that’s the first question out of Mama-su’s mouth. ‘Have you found a good woman yet?’ I've told her about you, but I also told her that you broke my heart, because you chose another guy.”

  “You did not!” I shrieked at him, a little loudly, causing the couple to our left to look over at us.

  The little shit laughed again. “I did. But she cussed me out because she realised I wasn’t serious. I think she was ready to come over here and kidnap you on my behalf.”

  “You’re horrible.”

  ”But you love me, right?” He pointed his fork at me again. I smiled and nodded.

  “That’s my girl.”

  He was a little bit of an enigma really. I knew a little about his family. His dad was the CEO of Ealing US, and he has an older brother, Willem, who also worked for the company. He didn’t give much away about himself personally. But sometimes you could get glimpses, fleeting looks in his eyes that reflected a lost little boy who was searching to belong. Why he never dated was a mystery to me because I can safely say he wasn’t lacking in the looks department. He had a cheeky charm that immediately sucked you in. He was never intimidating, never seemed angry or unhappy. He had the sunniest disposition I had ever encountered, and I think that was why I enjoyed his company so much.

  He had short dark hair, and seriously dark eyebrows, they made his look seem menacing. He had a brooding look about him, as if he lived his life in shadow. He always had a shadow of stubble, and sometimes it was close to a beard. But for all the dark features of his hair, eyebrows and stubble he had the bluest eyes. He also had two small dark freckles on his cheekbone under his eye. They were so cute.

  “How’s the wedding plans coming along? Have you heard from your brother?” I asked. His older brother, Willem, was marrying his childhood sweetheart, Marissa.

  “Yeah.” He chuckled again. “She has turned into a bit of a monster bride-to-be.”

  “Bridezilla.” I laughed.

  “Exactly! Willem said he’s trying to talk her into coming over here for a visit to try to chill her out a bit, but she’s digging her heels and refusing. Will sounded a little stressed by it all.”

  “It would be nice to meet them.”

  “Yeah, they’d love you. I hope they do come over. I would like to see them before I go home for Thanksgiving.” He looked out of the window, seemly lost in his own world. He let out a loud breath and turned to me, and this was one of his moments when I saw the lost little boy inside. I smiled at him, and within seconds, his usual cheeky self returned.

  “So, are you going to tell me why the lovely Dominic has an even bigger stick up his ass today?” he asked.

  I shook my head. “I...to be honest, I'm not entirely sure what it is. He’s been off for a couple of days now. One minute we are...everything is fine, then he goes all sulky. It’s exhausting. I don’t know what is –“

  “He needs to get laid. And more specifically he’s desperate to do the horizontal tango with a seriously sexy lab analyst I know.” He smiled and winked at me. My cheeks flamed bright red.

  I started shaking my head quite violently.

  “Come off it, Eve. That guy has it bad. Why do you think he dislikes me so much? Because, come on – I'm totally adorable, and everyone loves me.” He held out his hands to his sides. I turned, seeing two women watching him. He followed my gaze, and when he saw them watching, he wriggled his eyes brows at them. “Ladies.”

  I groaned and couldn’t believe his cheesy antics. “Stop it,” I whispered across to him.

  “Is it true you two live next door to each other? And are related? Because I’m sorry, but the way he looks at you, and you at him, it’s a little creepy knowing you’re related. Incest n’all.”

  My cheeks heated again. “Technically, we aren’t related, not by blood anyway. And secondly, we do not look at each other in any other way than professionally.”

  “Well, then darling, I need to change my professional etiquette, because I can tell you now, I do not watch my secretary like I want to bend her over –“

  “Stop! Just...stop. Because for one, your secretary is like sixty or something, and secondly you are being crude, and it’s not like that. We are friends, nothing more. I’m...with his brother.” That didn’t hurt to say, at all.

  “Yeah, but why? And is it not weird he’s your boss, and you’re neighbours?”

  I smiled. “No, it’s kinda great, really. Dominic has been my best friend since...since I can remember. My mum married his uncle, my step-dad, Alan. I think I was about two years old or maybe a little older. I can’t remember, exactly. Not long after the wedding, Dad’s parents died and left him and Jill, Dominic’s mum, their house. Dad thought it would be a great family home, so he and Jill agreed he would buy her share, and we all moved in next to her. It worked out pretty great because unfortunately when Dominic was seven and Elliott was eight, their dad died in a motorcycle accident. So Dad and Mum helped out because, as you can imagine, Jill had a rough time. Especially Elliott, he was terrible.”

  “Poor woman, and boys for that matter,” he whispered. I nodded my agreement. “So what about your real dad?” he asked.

  “Alan is my real dad. My biological father wanted nothing to do with Mum when she told him she was pregnant. He gave her a choice, him or me. She chose me.”

  “Wise woman.” He smiled.

  “My dad...Alan...is all I have ever known. I adore him, and I think he feels the same. I’ve never felt different from Louise.”

  “And Ellie?” He asked with a frown, knowing I had a little sister also.

  “Ah, well...she is adopted. Mum and Dad wanted more kids in the house, but Mum couldn’t seem to conceive again. They didn’t want tests doing. Mum said it was too stressful. So they decided they would help out kids who didn’t have a loving home, so they became foster carers. We had a couple babies stay with us on short-term care plans, but then Ellie came to live with us. We were initially supposed to have her until she turned one, but then the social worker said she would be put up for adoption, because she couldn’t return to her biological parents. Well, Mum and Dad couldn’t let her go. So, long story short, she became a Beaumont. She asked Mum a few months back why she didn’t have brown hair like the rest of us, and Mum tried explaining everything but I think she’s a little too young. So mum told her that a special fairy brought her to our family because they knew we could love her extra special. That settled her down. I thought Mum would be terrified of telling Ellie she was adopted, but Mum said Ellie was brought to us for a reason, and we will face telling her the truth when she is ready to hear it.”

  Johan cleared his throat and looked away. He turned his attention back to me and looked at his watch. “Well, we best get back,” he said suddenly, taking me by surprise.

  “Have I said something wrong?” I asked.

  “Not at all. Thank you for sharing with me,” he said, standing.

  I stared up at him, frozen by my confusion. “Okay,” I whispered. I swallowed and tried to smile, but it came across I'm sure as more of a grimace.

  He settled the bill,
even though I insisted on paying for my half. And we made our way back to the office. Johan left me at my office and went into the lab, saying he had other results to gather. I sat and stared at the computer screen, feeling a little unsettled by his reaction. Did he feel that my family was broken somehow because we were made up of so many components?

  ****

  I walked into the lunchroom where Johan, Liam, Lucy, Evan and Rebecca, the other lab technicians were having their tea break. They were all engrossed in what seemed to be a titillating conversation. Liam looked at up when I entered and gave me sheepish look. He shook his head and nodded in the direction of the others. Johan was particularly quiet. He had his head down, reading a magazine as if he wasn’t part of their chat.

  I headed straight over to the kettle to make a tea.

  "Well, I still think he's gay. I’m never wrong," Evan announced proudly.

  "Pff, just wishful thinking, more like," Lucy scoffed. "He is not gay."

  "I heard he never has the same woman twice." Rebecca chuckled.

  "See," Lucy exclaimed pointing towards Rebecca. "He just hasn't had the right woman to totally rock his world."

  Evan snorted his indignation. "And I suppose you’re going to tell us that's you?"

  "Possibly. I'd have him any which way he wanted." The entire table erupted into laughter. "What do you think Johan?"

  "Hey, leave me out of it. I'm not partaking in the discovery of other men’s sexual exploits. Besides, I hear he’s on the verge of becoming engaged.”

  My heart spiked at that, and I realised they are talking about Dominic. I turned to pour the water into my cup, hoping I could go unnoticed.

  "What do you think, Eve? You know him better than anyone here? Is it true he’s shagged his way through the entire accounting department? Can't wait for him to reach our department." Everyone except Johan snickered.

  I frowned as I turned towards the table. Johan gave me an apologetic shrug and lowered his gaze back to his magazine.

  "Who?" I asked.

  "Who?” Rebecca scoffed with disbelief. “Dominic, of course. Who else?" I felt my cheeks flame red.

  "She knows something," laughed Evan. "No one innocent, blushes to that extent, without some juicy gossip. Come on, beauty, tell all."

  I shook my head and averted my eyes to the floor. "I...I...don't...I know nothing," I stammered.

  "It's a little inappropriate..." Liam offered but was quickly interrupted.

  "She knows who his latest conquest is. It's written all over her face." Rebecca clapped her hands, jumping up and down in her seat like an excited child. "Come on, who is it? The man of mystery has a chink in his private armour."

  "I..." I shuffled my feet, uncomfortable, and wished the floor would open up and swallow me.

  "Oh, come on for God’s sake, Eve. Stop dragging it out," snapped Lucy.

  I took a deep, strengthening breath. "It's none of your....our business who he dates. We should remember..."

  "Get lost! You are such a stuck up prude, Eve," Rebecca snarled. “Christ, we’re having fun here –“

  "Hold on a minute..." Leaning forward in his chair, Johan snapped.

  But Rebecca was not to be deterred. “What? We are only having a bit of fun, and Miss Stick in the Mud over there has to spoil it.” She crossed her arms over her chest and slumped back in her chair.

  If possible, my face heated even more. I turned and quickly headed for the door, quietly apologising.

  "I bet shagging that is like sticking your dick in the freezer," I heard a little way down the corridor. Three loud laughs and giggles followed. I closed my eyes and swallowed hard at the lump lodged there.

  "That was totally uncalled for. Inappropriate and bullying conversations regarding Senior managerial staff will not be tolerated. I’m all for a little banter and fun, but you turned so vile on another highly valued member of my team. I will not stand for that. Do I make myself clear? “I heard Johan’s loud commanding voice shout.

  I shuddered and quickened my pace down the corridor. I could hear quickly approaching footsteps.

  "Eve, wait," Johan called. "Wait, please." His voice was soft as he tugged at my elbow. "Don't listen to them."

  I couldn’t look at him. I stood with my hands clenched in fists at my sides. "I'm sorry; I don’t mean to be...a prude."

  "What? No! Listen, ignore them. They’re pathetic bitches who have zero chance of landing Dominic, and they know it. However, you - that's a different story." I still hadn’t looked at him, but I knew he was smiling at me.

  "You have a vivid imagination, Johan." I attempted to smile, but it ended up more of a grimace.

  "Sweetheart, you have no idea."

  I let out a small laugh and chanced a glance up at him. He cocked his head to the side and as usual, a cute smile plastered across his face.

  "There she is,” he said. "Don't let them bother you."

  I nodded my agreement.

  "Do I get a hug?” He held his arms open to me. I shook my head and smiled stepping toward him. His arms wrapped around me. Although Johan could be quite flirty and suggestive, his hugs never felt inappropriate or sexual. They felt safe and friendly, as I expect a big brother would protect his little sister. He was slightly taller than me, so I kind of curled into the nape of his neck. His cheek rested on my ear as he whispered soothing words and not so charming insults towards Rebecca. I could feel the weight of my sorrow lifting.

  Someone behind Johan cleared his throat. Startled, Johan turned us, still holding me. We came face to face with Alastair Ealing and Dominic. Alastair was grinning like he'd just caught two teenagers behind the bike sheds at school; Alistair was the most laid back boss I think anyone at this company had ever worked for. But Dominic -

  "Well, this looks cosy," smirked Alastair. "But may I ask that you keep your personal lives and....affections to out-of-hours. I cannot have my staff - "

  Sudden realisation hit me like a brick. He thought we were kissing, that we were...together. I suddenly looked over at Dominic, whose face was like thunder. His brows were furrowed so much, his eyes were almost closed. His lips had clenched so tight there was a white line tinting the edge. He looked furious.

  I looked at him, pleadingly, shaking my head, trying to explain telepathically, which I knew was futile. "We weren't...”

  "Eve, you don't have to explain. We've all been in love at some point. Am I right, Dominic?" Alistair teased, not realising the fierce daggers Dominic's eyes were shooting Johan.

  Alistair laughed and walked away, closely followed by an angry Dominic. When they were out of sight, I let out a sigh of relief and looked up at Johan who had a devilish smirk across his cheeky face.

  "Nothing going on between you two, huh?” He nudged me with his elbow.

  "Shush, you've caused enough trouble."

  "Saved your fine little ass, is what I just did."

  I laughed at him, relief flooding my body, and I will admit that a smile was plastered across my face for the rest of the day.

  ***

  When I got home mum was in the kitchen making dinner, dad sat at the dining table reading the newspaper and I could hear the TV so knew Ellie was watching her favourite TV programmes.

  “Honey I'm home” I called out in a sickly sweet voice. “Hey sweetie, have you had a good day?”

  “Yeah it was pretty good. I'm tired though” I answered hanging my coat under the stairs.

  “Is Louise home yet?” I asked looking at mum and dad.

  Dad shook his head “no, I think she’s gone to talk to Darren. Apparently he’s finished with her again. Why the hell she puts up with it I have no idea, he’s a total idiot. I would love to get my hands

  –“

  “Alan we have talked about this.” mum warned.

  “I agree with dad he is an idiot and she can do so much better for herself.” both mum and dad gaped at me as if I had sprouted another head.

  “What?” Dad shook his head “little advice for yourself baby
girl.” He returned to reading his newspaper and I stood like a statue staring at him.

  “Alan.” mum chastised.

  “I'm just saying, that nephew of mine is starting to grate on my last nerve. He’s hardly ever here and when he is he’s a moody little bugger. She goes days without seeing him and when he does show up he’s snapping and snarling at her.”

  “I said not to interfere.” mum said opening her eyes wide in a silent plea to shut dad up, and then she smiled an apology to me.

  “Interfere? She’s our daughter and...” I turned and walked away, leaving them to argue about me

  in the kitchen. As I entered the hallway I leant against the wall listening to them. I rested the back of my head against the wall. I closed my eyes and willed the impending tears to go away.

  “If she couldn’t deal with it Alan she would end things with him.” “I just don’t like how he treats her sometimes,” he said moodily.

  “You’re her dad; no man is ever going to meet your standards.” mum laughed.

  “I just...she’s changed so much since being with him. She’s quiet and shy, Marie, she was never like that”

  “Darling it’s called growing up. We can’t blame that on Elliott, he cares very much for her. I admit I don’t like how he talks to her sometimes, but sweetheart you are no prince charming when you’re tired.” She laughed “besides I’m her mother I would know if something was wrong.”

  I let out a shaky breath at her words, relieved neither had any idea what their daughter was really like, but I wanted to scream for them to see. Open their eyes and see what I lived through for them, I wanted them to break me out of this unending hell.

  “Dinner will be another half hour if you want a quick shower” I heard mum say and I quickly moved away from the wall and walked down the hall to my bedroom.