Incineration (Heart of Stone)

by Sidebottom, D H

  He jumped when he saw me and he narrowed his eyes, his pupils were shot and bloody, he had a few days growth and his clothes were crumpled…he looked like shit! “Hey Darling” I smiled sweetly “What the fuck are you doing up at this time? you need your sleep” he said “As though you care” I scoffed and he glared at me “What the fuck Ava, of course I care” he hissed and turned round to grab the whisky bottle but his reactions were too slow and I got to it before him, grabbing it and storming into the kitchen I poured it down the sink

  “What the fuck are you doing?” he shouted and grabbed my arm, trying to pull the bottle back. I slammed the empty bottle on the counter “I think you’ve had enough Mason” I told him and he grabbed both my arms “What the hell is wrong with you?” he snarled and I narrowed my eyes at him “What the hell is wrong with me?” I scoffed and pushed him back but his grip tightened on me “Let go of me Mason” I said slowly but he stood glaring at me, still gripping my arms in a painful hold which I knew would bruise by tomorrow.

  I pushed him more forcibly and he stumbled back this time and I stormed into the room, him hot on my trail and the pure rage coursing through me was the only thing giving me courage to stand up to his fury. He rushed round in front of me, his face full of rage and his fists clenched. I regarded him and shook my head sadly “Why won’t you talk to me Mason?” I asked sorrowfully and I saw a flicker of remorse in his eyes but he quickly shut it away and glowered at me “Ha! She wants to know why I won’t talk to her” he scoffed and gestured to nobody in particular and then settled his gaze on me again. He started slowly stalking me, leisurely walking towards me and as I backed into the wall I was starting to get a little afraid.

  It was obvious he was high and I was unsure of what he would be capable of in this state. His hands slammed at the side of my head as he caged me in and I swallowed heavily “You want me to talk to you Ava? Cause all I wanna do is fuck you till you shut the fuck up” he said coldly, the maliciousness in his voice turned my blood to ice and my eyes widened and my breath halted at his vicious words.

  He cocked his head but then grasped my chin harshly in his thumb and finger and pierced my eyes with his dead empty ones. My breathing sped up along with my pulse and he crashed his mouth on mine, kissing me roughly and I refused to give him a reaction so I stood still as his tongue tried to force its way in but I remained tight lipped. He pulled back slightly “Kiss me damn it” he ordered and came back down for another, bruising my lips and pulling at my nearly healed stitches; now it was getting painful and I pushed him back and slapped him hard across his stony face. His eyes widened with shock and then he growled viciously and I wondered if I had gone too far. I gulped as my eyes filled with tears but I refused to let them fall, denying him a reaction to his callousness.

  He pulled his lips angrily between his teeth and punched the wall beside me “FUCK YOU AVA!” he roared and he stepped backwards and I took the opportunity to slide past him, not wanting to be caged in again “What do you want from me Ava?” he thundered and I turned to him and flung the DVD at him “ANSWERS MASON, I WANT SOME FUCKING ANSWERS!!” I screamed and his face paled as he saw the disc fall at his feet.

  He looked up at me, his face now showing pain and horror “Where did you find that?” he rasped and I shook my head “If you don’t want me to see things Mason you should learn to hide them. You left it in the DVD player” I said quietly and he raked his hands through his hair “FUCK!!!” he hissed “You weren’t meant to find that” he cringed and I scoffed “Well fucking obviously. What is Mason, you wanted to keep it to yourself? You like to sit watching us fuck eh?” I asked full of disgust

  “ARGHHHHH” he screamed and swiped the contents of the sideboard onto the floor and punched the wall again…twice! “Oh for fucks sake Mason” I slammed and turned to leave but he grabbed my arm again. There comes another fucking bruise! He swung me round and stared straight into my soul “Ava” he whispered and lifted his hand to my cheek and I flinched. He gasped and pulled away “Ava…I wouldn’t hurt you” he breathed and I laughed bitterly “What the fuck do you think you’re doing now eh? What is it Mason? What are you hiding?” I yelled and he spun round pulling at his hair “You won’t understand” he snapped and placed a hand on the wall, resting his forehead on it “Try me Mason. We can’t work this out if you won’t tell me” I said, calmer now but he shook his head and sighed “No Ava, you won’t” I bit my lip, preparing myself for the answer to my next question “Are you fucking somebody else?” I asked quietly and he turned sharply “No! No Ava” he swore but I shook my head sadly, hurt at his refusal to talk to me “I’m sorry Mason. I can’t do this anymore” I sobbed, the tears now finally flowing. He dashed over to me “Ava please” he begged but I just shook my head “I can’t deal with secrets and lies Mason. Your fucking mood swings are killing me and you are obviously back on the coke and I refuse to let you make me suffer with you” I choked out and he stood silently begging with his eyes. I sighed sadly and turned to leave “Ava…” he breathed and I paused waiting for an explanation but he remained silent.

  I let out a sob and carried my weary legs up the stairs and pulling my case from the wardrobe, flung some clothes in it; not caring that they would be crushed and creased. The need to get away from him spurring me on and after retrieving my toiletries and ramming them into my case I yanked the zip round, snagging it twice in my haste.

  Pulling it behind me I descended the stairs and saw him stood in the kitchen doorway looking broken “Ava Baby please…” he choked out and his eyes broke my heart. The pure need and desperation in them giving me reason to reconsider my decision.

  I walked over to him and cupped his cheek gently and he rested against it, closing his eyes and pressing a kiss into my palm “I love you Mason, I always will. You helped heal me and give me back the confidence I needed and I will love you for eternity for that alone” I whispered and he opened his eyes “Then stay” he begged softly but I shook my head slowly “I can’t Mason. You’re crushing my heart. You make it bleed Mason, drop by fucking drop and soon you’re gonna squeeze it dry, destroying it completely” I sobbed and he grabbed my hand “Please…” his own tears were falling now and I broke for him “I can’t live with secrets Mason, I can’t. I’m sorry” I whispered and turned to leave and walked away.

  “Rebecca’s pregnant” he choked out and I froze my heart finally shattering to the floor with my suitcase “W....w.what?” I stammered, paralysed to the spot, the sight of him might suddenly crumble my composure “What did you say?” I asked calmly and I closed my eyes as he repeated his words “Rebecca’s pregnant” he said softly and sadly. Like the tenderness in his voice would make it alright.

  I lifted my chin in determination, refusing to break down “How far?” I asked and he remained silent “HOW FAR?” I thundered “Four months” he whispered and my throat closed in. Why did that bitch get the one thing I desperately wanted? I sucked in my lips, trying to hold back the tears.

  I clenched my fists tightly “I thought you said you always used a condom with the others” for some reason it was this lie that hurt the most; he had said that the lack of protection with us was down to the raw passion we had, but obviously he had the same fucking raw passion with Rebecca and it was this that choked the sob from my throat.

  “Oh baby” he breathed as I heard him approach swiftly and I spun round “DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME!” I hissed acidly and he reared back at the pure hatred in my eyes “I’m so sorry Ava” he cried and I gagged “My baby is dead you bastard, possibly helped along by your fuck whore, yet you…you…you and Rebecca…” I couldn’t finish as the pain ripped me apart and I held my hand up as he reached out to me “No! No! No!” I screeched and turned, walked calmly to the door and left, left him sobbing on the floor and I left my shattered heart right there with him.

  CHAPTER 38

  I was banging on Courtney’s door, loudly and repeatedly “Courtney” I screamed “Courtney…please!” I begged and slid dow
n her door, sobbing uncontrollably on the step. I eventually heard her locks slide and she opened her door and gasped at the sight of me “Fuck! Ava” she cried and bent down, lifting me against her and steered me onto her sofa “Ava babe, what is it?” she begged but I couldn’t calm down “Ava please” she sobbed, the sight of me breaking her heart.

  I was struggling to breathe and was making myself retch with the extent of my crying so she sat embracing me and stroking my hair until I calmed down “Please Ava” she wept as I screamed and sobbed and moaned as my heart tore me in two with the physical pain. “Shush Ava, shush sweetheart” she soothed as she held me tight.

  It took me an hour to calm down and by the end Courtney was pulling her hair out in distress “Ava please babe” she pleaded once more and I finally managed to look at her “Rebecca’s having Masons baby” I choked out and her face expressed every thought that tore through her; her skin paled, her eyes blazed and her breathing sped up. She couldn’t speak through her own fury and she inhaled sharply but stroked her thumb across my cheek gently and tipped her head in sadness. I nodded in understanding and we wept again together as her heart broke for me, along with my own.

  “How far gone is she?” Courtney asked softly as we were sat cradling coffee an hour later “Four months” I said, no tone or emotion in my voice. She sighed heavily “Well that’s one thing. At least you know it wasn’t while he was with you” she huffed and I nodded once. Her hands rubbed her pale face “Oh Ava, I don’t know what to say babe” she sighed sadly and I shrugged “There’s nothing to say, is there? Rebecca gets the baby and the man I want so desperately. Maybe God doesn’t think I’m worthy of being a mother?” I said nonchalantly and took a sip of coffee “Ava, that’s bullshit and you know it!” Courtney scolded as my phone trilled a message

  MASON

  I know you won’t want to talk to me but I’m just checking you are okay, you weren’t really in any fit state to drive and I’m worried…I’m so sorry Ava. My heart is broken for you, for every fucked up thing I’ve done to you and I will never forgive myself for hurting you like this. I love you xxxxx

  ME

  I’m not dead! Sorry to disappoint you

  MASON

  DON’T FUCKING TALK LIKE THAT!!!

  I refused to answer and stood up “Can I borrow something to wear for the barbeque tonight Hun? I don’t want to go back to Masons” I asked Courtney as her jaw dropped “You are never still going Ava?” I frowned at her “Of course I am and I’m gonna get thoroughly fucking pissed” I grinned “in fact let me text Liv and see if she minds you tagging along and we can get drunk together. I bet there’s lots of hot guys” I teased and she nodded and stood, walking over to the kitchen to pop some bread in the toaster “Okay but I’m only coming to keep an eye on you” she winked and I laughed.

  At 7 O’clock we pulled into a semi-circled gravel driveway and looked in awe at the mansion in front of us “Jesus Ava” Courtney breathed and I just nodded “Yeah” I puffed. We managed to find a spot to park; the amount of cars in the driveway told us the party was already rocking and that Liv and Nate had lots of friends.

  We were guided round to the back of the house by an attendant as we approached the sight of the garden/meadow it took my breath. It was stunning; a real piece of heaven including a secluded brook.

  The garden was decorated with tons of tables, a marque and lots and lots of tiny fairy lights. There was an extra-long table set up as a bar and at least three ginormous barbeques were smoking away, the aroma from the food making my mouth water and my stomach grumble.

  “Ava!” Liv shouted and came hobbling over to us “Hey” she greeted and gave me a hug “Are you okay Ava? Nate told me about your baby, I’m so sorry” she said softly and I smiled and nodded “Liv, this is my friend Courtney” I introduced and they greeted each other “Come and get some food before the guys demolish it all. What is it with men and meat” she whispered and then she paused “In fact, what is it with women and men’s meat?” she winked and we all laughed loudly, already relaxing.

  She steered us to the bar and we grabbed a drink each and I piled my plate with steak, coleslaw and salad and went in search of a table. “So where’s Mason?” Liv asked between mouthfuls and I lowered my eyes “Mason and I aren’t together anymore” I shrugged and I felt a hand rest on my shoulder. I turned round to see Nate’s sad smile “I’m so sorry to hear that Ava. You two seemed perfect for each other” I scoffed “He seemed to be perfect with someone else too” I laughed bitterly and Livs expression softened and Courtney huffed “Yeah, let’s just say the bastard tossed Ava’s love and trust away painfully and horrifically!” Courtney slammed and Livs hand settled over mine “Oh God Ava, you have really been through it a lately haven’t you” she whispered.

  Nate reached over and kissed Livs forehead “Have you seen Beth?” he asked her and she shook her head “She’s working late but she’ll be coming later with the new boyfriend. I can’t wait to meet him, she seems smitten” she grinned at Nate with a twinkle in her eye and then turned to me “My best friend is the female version of a manwhore” she laughed “and at 41 I thought she would never settle down but, fingers crossed, she finally seems taken with this new guy” she revealed and we all laughed and then her face grew a bit serious as her eyes focused on someone in the background

  “Ava sweetheart, I should warn you” she grimaced a little “Kerrie, Mason’s sister is here tonight. Nate knows her husband so they were invited. If I would have known I wouldn’t…you know” she apologised “Hey, Liv its fine. I have a good relationship with Kerrie” she breathed a sigh of relief “Thank god, I thought things were gonna get ugly” she giggled but I shook my head, a little tremor running through me at the thought of Kade being here “Anyway, I better go mingle” she said and heaved herself out of the chair, her huge belly making the action difficult and Nate grabbed her hands, pulling her out “Bloody hell big mama” he puffed and she swat his arm “Hey you did this to me” she scowled and he grinned and pulled her into a side hug “Oh God Yes! and I thoroughly enjoyed it” he winked and we all laughed “Typical” Liv chuckled “See you two later” she beamed and wobbled off.

  “She’s lovely” Courtney said as we stood and made our way over to the bar for refills and Courtney went to refill her plate.

  I was stood waiting for the barman to prepare my vodka and cranberry when hot breath brushed my cheek “Hello again Ava” Kade whispered huskily and I was sure I could feel his erection against my thigh, my body lit up in recognition and I clenched my fists. I turned and plastered a fake smile on my face “Kade” I greeted and his eyes darkened as he took in my appearance.

  The only item of Courtney’s clothes that I could squeeze my large breasts into was a pale knee length green wrap around dress that gave my cleavage a lot of airtime and knee high cream boots “You look…exquisite” he licked his lips as his gaze settled on the swell of my chest and the darkness in his eyes made my knickers wet with arousal. Don’t go there Ava, this man is Kerries husband and the reminder suddenly filled me with rage

  “Where’s Kerrie?” I narrowed my eyes on him in warning but his lips curved and his smile was anything but chaste “She’s around here somewhere” he said but didn’t let his eyes move from mine. I smiled tightly and looked around until I spotted her “Kerrie” I shouted her over and the challenge in Kades eyes fired my insides

  “Ava” Kerrie walked over to us just as Courtney reappeared with a loaded plate of baked potato “You look familiar” Courtney said to Kade and pursed her lips but Kade just shrugged “Sorry, I don’t think we’ve met” he said to her and she pursed her lips, still regarding him…Oh Shit!!! I caught the humour in Kades eyes as he winked at me and I turned my attention back to Kerrie as she said something “Sorry, what?” I told her and she smiled “I asked where Mason was” and I froze immediately and looked away “Ava?” she narrowed her eyes and I sighed “Me and Mason aren’t together now Kerrie” I said frankly and she cocked her
head and held my hand “Ava, I’m sorry about the baby” she whispered and I nodded “is that the reason you broke up? Because grief can bring out a whole load shit in somebody” she said softly as though to make excuses for Masons behaviour I scoffed resentfully “Oooh no, nothing a simple as that” I shook my head in disgust “That I could deal with, what I can’t deal with is your brothers constant need to smash my fucking heart to smithereens” I snapped angrily and I saw the question in her eyes “What the fuck has he done now?” she asked sharply and I shook my head “You better ask him Kerrie” I sighed and Courtney’s hand settled on my arm “Come on Ava, we’re here to have fun and get slaughtered” she urged and I put on a false smile.

  I could feel Kades eyes on me and I gave him a quick stern glance but his expression shocked me; gone was the lust and desire, and it was replaced by anger and sympathy “Does that fucking man have to bollocks up everything he touches” he growled and everyone’s head snapped around to stare at him and he seemed miles away, but he suddenly shook his head to clear it and shrugged “Well he does Kerrie, it’s about time he stopped being so damn selfish and thought about other people’s feelings for a change” he argued and my eyes widened at his anger and hatred for Mason “Kade please” Kerrie sighed as though it was an on-going argument between them.

  Kade turned to me sharply, his gaze burning into me “What did he do Ava?” he demanded and I cowered slightly and looked away, my eyes filling with tears and I bit my lip harshly to stop them from flowing “Ava!” he insisted and I gulped as I lifted my eyes but refused to look at Kade, so I locked onto Kerrie’s sympathetic ones “He…he’s” I took a deep breath “He’s Erm…Damn it!” I raged at myself “Ava, do you want me to tell them?” Courtney asked gently and I shook my head biting my lip harder and piercing the skin. I could feel Kades intense gaze on me and I saw his fists clench through the corner of my eye.