Sinners Football 02- Wish for a Sinner

by Lynn Shurr

  “Hello?” she mumbled still groggy from her nap and disoriented about her location.

  “Miss Nell? It’s Callie, I mean Cassie,” a timid voice claimed.

  Nell came abruptly awake. “Cassie, my God, are you all right? Where are you, honey?”

  “At the bus station in Phoenix. I only have enough money to get a ticket to Houston. Can you come pick me up there Saturday afternoon? Please don’t tell me to call my parents. I can’t face them right now.” The burst of words came punctuated with a small sob.

  “Listen, Cassie. I’m in Phoenix, too, with Joe. We found Copperhead and were looking for you. Stay put, we’ll be right there. Promise not to leave,” Nell urged.

  “I won’t. Oh Miss Nell, I’m so sorry.”

  “I’m coming. I’m coming immediately. Don’t be afraid of what anyone will say. We’ll get things straightened out.”

  “I don’t think even St. Jude could do that, I’m so messed up, Miss Nell.”

  “Don’t underestimate St. Jude, Joe would tell you—or me. I’m on my way.”

  She disconnected, shoved the phone back into her purse and groped for her shoes in the dim room. Flicking on a lamp, she saw the time was past seven p. m. and Joe had gone to see the police and offer the latest information. She had the doorman put her in a cab and once out in the stream of traffic, she called Joe with the news.

  When he let out a whoop, she cautioned him, “Don’t say anything to the police about finding her yet. Cassie sounds shaky and I don’t want to upset her anymore tonight. We’ll report to them in the morning.”

  “I’ll meet you in a few minutes then.”

  Joe closed his phone and looked at the officer who was dealing with the new information. “Whoopie! My wife found a place that serves boiled crawfish. We’re eatin’ there tonight in half an hour. Call me at the Sheraton if you need me. Got to go.”

  As Joe charged for the front door, Officer Rivera shook his head. “Cajuns and their crawfish,” he remarked to no one in general, but he stuffed the notepad full of Joe Dean Billodeaux autographs for all of his relatives in a shirt pocket and picked up a phone to call the Border Patrol.

  The cabbie knew the city and got Nell to the bus terminal in short order. She tipped him generously, but said he didn’t have to wait as her husband would be coming soon. She stood looking up and down the bus docks for the slim, redheaded girl she knew, then shook her head and substituted mousey brown hair and chubby. The only teenager she saw leaned against a pillar and stared into the on-coming night.

  Nell’s heart went out to the kid. She wore a man’s v-necked undershirt that spanned across her pregnant belly. Her low-slung jeans were half unzipped to accommodate the size of her stomach. The girl pulled an over-large denim jacket with the cuffs rolled up tighter against the chill desert evening.

  The teen’s hair looked as if it had chopped off above the ears in a bowl cut and the rest shaved leaving her neck naked and vulnerable. The top knot was dyed that dead black color so popular with Goths, and her makeup had the whiteness of a corpse with a thin red slash for a mouth. The girl seemed ready to weep under her tough exterior. A middle-aged man, unshaven and bald, unclean and unsightly, approached and whispered in her ear.

  Nell turned her eyes elsewhere and scanned for Cassie, but a commotion snapped her head back to the pathetic Goth girl. “Let me alone! Go away!” The teenager pushed her hands against the chest of the guy who waggled a twenty-dollar bill in her face and crowded against her swollen belly. Nell recognized the voice.

  “Cassie!” she cried out and came running. Nell grabbed at the molester’s arm and shoved him away. His bourbon breath said the fellow had been drinking. It out-stank his body odor.

  “Get lost, bitch! You too young to be her mama.” The drunk eyed Nell’s petite frame and large eyes. “Unless this is your corner and y’all want to give me a twofer. I got more money in my front pocket if you want to dive in and get it. It’s a great big bill.”

  He laughed at his wit. Cassie turned her head aside and tried to move away, but he grabbed at her wrist and held on. His other arm shot out and smashed Nell against his crotch. Nell reached down with her small hand between his legs. The drunk gave her a “knew it all along” grin that lasted only until his alcohol numbed body registered the pain as she twisted his testicles. He shrieked and flung Nell away. Cassie escaped and ran awkwardly for the street while glancing over her shoulder. Nell collided hard with the pillar and crumpled to the cement floor.

  Clutching her stomach and gasping for breath, Cassie got as far as the corner where she waved her arms and shouted for assistance. “Someone, please help us! Help, please help!”

  A luxury car in the turn lane came to a sudden stop. A tall man all dressed in black jumped out and bucked the signal light, the curses of the other drivers, and a melee of cars attempting to go around the obstruction. He dodged, twisted, made the curb next to Cassie and ran right by her toward Nell.

  “Mr. Joe,” Cassie said. “Thank God.”

  Nell pulled herself up, shaking her head and gulping air, as Joe bore down on her. The drunk limped off into the darkness bent over like a stock hunchback in a B-grade horror movie. Cassie watched, forlorn and helpless, as Joe knelt beside his wife, ran his hands over her from head to toe, his face stark with fear.

  “It’s just a bump on the head, Joe. Please, get Cassie and let’s go.”

  “Cassie?” He looked blank.

  “There, on the corner.”

  “Jesus,” he swore, taking in the changes. “May Bijou rot in hell and I’ll help send him there if he ever tries to come back to Chapelle. You sure you’re all right, Tink?”

  “Fine. I hear sirens. Let’s go!”

  Joe ran the gauntlet of automobiles and verbal abuse again to move the rental car to the curb. One driver gave him the finger with an up-held cell phone and shouted, “I gave your license number to the cops, jerk!” Nell and Cassie piled in and they made tracks for the Sheraton. Joe pushed a large tip into the doorman’s hand and asked him to see the vehicle was returned to the rental agency at the airport tonight.

  In the safety of the suite, husband, wife and runaway breathed easier. While Joe seemed unable to take his hands off of Nell, she turned to Cassie. “Are you hungry, honey? Would you like a warm bath before we talk?”

  Cassie nodded. Joe called in an order to room service while Nell put the girl into the second bedroom and showed her the voluminous terry robe hanging on the back of the bathroom door.

  An hour later, Cassie put away an evening breakfast of ham and cheese omelet, toast, juice and milk. The robe came down to her ankles but barely closed over her belly. With the ghastly makeup washed away, her freckles reappeared. Her eyes emerged from the black shadows, blue and ashamed. Nell helped herself to a pot of hot tea laced with lemon and let the girl finish eating.

  “It’s not that Bijou didn’t feed me. I’m just hungry all the time.”

  “Yes, I understand why.” Nell continued to sip her tea calmly, but Cassie’s naked face turned a fiery red under the dreadful cap of wet black hair.

  “I wasn’t sure for a long time about the baby. I mean you told me I might be sterile like you. That’s what I told Bijou and he said it was fine by him because he hated using condoms.”

  If possible, Cassie’s face turned even redder. She smashed a maraschino cherry inside of the fresh pineapple ring garnish with her fork and continued to talk into her plate.

  “I know you said not to rush into things with boys, but Bijou was a man. He kept telling me I was pretty and spunky and a great rider. We didn’t do anything at first, you know, just talked. He said if I was older we could go out on the rodeo circuit together. He’d be my manager and we’d win championships with Copperhead. We did win at the smaller competitions. I had ribbons and buckles and some cash prizes, but it cost a lot of money to be on the road all the time and pay the entrance fees.” She hung her head even lower.

  “The sex started a few weeks after he bega
n coming for me in New Orleans. I told my parents you were staying in Chapelle and you would be there all the time to watch out for me, Nell. We kept doing it even after you caught me staying at the old house with Bijou. A hundred times I must have lied to everyone who cared about me.”

  “Don’t worry about that now. Go on.”

  “By Christmas, I knew I was going to have a baby and told Bijou. He said Joe would beat the daylights out of him or have him up for statutory rape, and he was getting the hell out of Chapelle. I begged him to take me along. He said sure, why not stick it to old Joe Dean all the way? You’d probably lose your temper and blow the playoffs and the Super Bowl. Joe, I’m so sorry.”

  “You’re not the villain, Cassie. Goddamn Bijou.”

  “I was pretty skinny so I didn’t show for a long time, then it was like my belly just popped out. I stuffed my shirts with rags to make my top look as big as my bottom so I could keep riding, but I got heavier and couldn’t keep my balance as well. It threw Copperhead off. Wasn’t his fault we lost that big event. Bijou got really angry because the entrance fee had eaten up most of our money and I didn’t bring in a cent.”

  “You shouldn’t have been riding at all. You could have injured yourself or lost the baby,” Nell said outraged.

  “I know. I don’t think Bijou cared. When we were traveling with the carnival, he asked around about doctors who could fix things. I told him an abortion would be wrong, especially since he loved me and all. He took me to one of those places anyhow, but I cried and cried and told them I didn’t want an abortion. I think he was afraid someone would recognize me even with my hair dyed brown because he hauled me out of there really fast. We stayed with his folks for a while. They gave him some money for a wedding gift when he said we were going to elope to Texas, but we never stopped at a Justice of the Peace. I was so stupid.”

  “There isn’t a woman in the world who hasn’t been stupid over a man once in her life, honey. Some of us are just luckier than others.” Nell patted Cassie’s hand, but looked over at Joe. They smiled across the remains of the omelet.

  “When we finished out of the money here in Phoenix, Bijou said there was no sense keeping Copperhead because I had lost my touch and might never get it back after I had the baby. It was best to change our appearance again and head for the border because we could live cheap in Mexico on the money from the sale. I cried and begged, but he didn’t seem to care about how I felt anymore. Once he cashed the check, he went out and got some things at the drug store, straightened my hair, dyed it black, cut it off and used the mane clippers on my neck. I was already wearing lots of makeup to make myself look older and hide my freckles, but he wanted me to look the way you saw. He dyed his hair back to black, too.” She paused to gulp orange juice and went on.

  “We were staying at this cheap motel south of here with the truck and the trailer parked out back. He met some men there who wanted to play poker. He wanted me to sit by him for luck. One by one, he lost all his rings, then the old carnival ponies and the trailer, trying to win this big diamond pinkie ring one of the men kept flashing. They wanted him to put up cash or the truck. He said hell no, he needed those things to get to Mexico, but the winner could have his sister for the night if he lost again. I started to say all his sisters lived in Louisiana, but then I understood. I was so scared.”

  “Did he win?” Joe asked.

  “No.” Cassie turned pale under her freckles at the memory. “He lost and just walked out of the room, unhitched the horse trailer with the ponies in it and told the men he’d be back for me in the morning.”

  “Dear God!” Nell whispered.

  “It’s okay, Miss Nell. Isn’t there a saying about God looking out for fools? These men, they wanted the cash and the truck, not me. They thought Bijou would keep going on as he had, not walk out. One of them called me knocked-up jail bait and said he didn’t want any part of me. He went out to find a real woman. The second guy had been drinking and fell asleep with his face on the table. The third said he had a sister around my age and couldn’t do it. Bijou drove off. I didn’t know if he would come back at all. I told the last man my story. He dropped me off at the bus station and gave me some money. Told me to go back to wherever I came from. When I tried to buy a ticket to Lafayette, the ticket seller told me I only had enough to reach Houston. That’s when I called you.”

  “Everything is going to be fine now. Let’s get some rest. We’ll make plans in the morning.” Nell took Cassie to the bed, tucked her in and gave her a kiss as if she were her own wayward daughter come home.

  “Miss Nell, will you see about the old ponies? It’s not their fault Bijou deserted them, too.”

  “We will. Sleep tight.”

  Back in her own room with Joe, she sighed deeply and feeling bone tired, went to shower. Joe was stripping down when the bathroom door reopened. Nell swayed on her feet.

  “Joe, I’m bleeding. Call the clinic.”

  THIRTY-ONE

  In the commotion to get Nell to the hospital, Cassie woke and wrapped herself in the terry robe. She caught Joe by the arm as he charged out the door after the hotel wheelchair carrying his wife. “Please, what’s wrong?”

  Joe shook free of her grasp. “Nell is losing our babies. Stay put. I don’t know when we’ll be back.” He slammed the suite door closed.

  Shaken, Cassie sank down on the sofa nearest the door. She replayed the scene at the bus terminal in her mind: the drunken man soliciting her for oral sex, Nell coming to her rescue and being slammed into the pillar.

  “What have I done now?” she whispered. “How can I ever make it up to Nell and Joe?”

  Crying again, she hugged her belly with both arms and rocked herself back and forth in anguish. She always seemed to be crying, pitying herself for the results of her own stupidity. Her baby rolled and kicked under her hands. Everyone said life wasn’t fair. They were right.

  The clinic doctor gave one of those enigmatic hmmmm’s after completing a very gentle, non-invasion examination of Nell’s belly and nether parts.

  “And what does that mean?” Joe demanded as he loomed over the examination table. Nell lay perfectly still with her eyes closed as if she were afraid to open them and face the facts. She had his hand in a white-knuckled grip again.

  “The bleeding has stopped and was not excessive. Three weeks into a pregnancy, a woman may lose the fetus and assume her period simply came late and a bit abnormally, especially if she wasn’t planning for a baby. In your case, Nell, we knew the risks. You say you bumped your head and had a fall?”

  “Yes, earlier this evening. You can feel the lump on the back of my head, but it didn’t bleed.”

  “You had no cramping before you experienced the bleeding?”

  “No. I’ve had some stomach problems. An encounter with bad tamales, I thought.”

  “Nell, that was two days ago!” Joe blurted out.

  The doctor gave him “a shut up or go outside look”, then turned benignly back to Nell. “There is no doubt you lost at least one of your implants. The fall might have caused it, but there is always the possibility this one just didn’t attach firmly to the uterine wall. What we don’t know is how the other fetuses are doing. I’m reluctant to try anything invasive at this point. We took blood for a pregnancy test, but with the loss so recent it may not give a true reading regardless of the status of other eggs. I’d like you to get a few days of bed rest, then continue on normally for another week or two after which we will test again. How does that sound, Nell?”

  “I’d like to go home,” Nell said.

  “After we are sure you are stable, you could do that. No rough activities though. I can recommend a few obstetricians in the New Orleans area to oversee your pregnancy once it’s confirmed. A nurse will be in to get you settled for the night.”

  Feeling the physician was putting a positive spin on the matter for her sake Nell nodded and refrained from telling him that she did not feel expectant. She allowed her hand to slip free of Joe�
��s snug grip.

  “I guess I’ve failed you, Joe—you and your mother, the entire Billodeaux clan and their ancestors, the Virgin Mary and St. Jude and all the saints in Heaven.” She blinked her eyes to keep the tears away.

  Joe raised her limp hand and kissed it. “You win some, you lose some. We got three more in reserve, remember?” he said lightly. “We can try again one day. Rest and don’t worry about this.” He stayed until she was asleep in a clean and sterile hospital bed before he drove back to the hotel.

  Cassie slept on one of the suite’s sofas. Her robe had fallen open slightly and a wedge of her ripe belly showed. Life had always been more than fair to Joe Dean Billodeaux. He couldn’t complain over this one disappointment, but he wanted to for Nell’s sake more than his own. He pulled the robe over the bulge of Cassie’s baby and thought about his wife having to come back to the teenager who had conceived so easily and thoughtlessly. At this moment, he wished the girl had never been found, and that was so wrong. Ponies, he had two mangy old ponies to rescue, probably frying in the trailer behind some run-down motel. He’d better go find them.

  As soon as Nell returned, she insisted Cassie call her parents and at the very least, tell them she was in good health and safe in Phoenix. Then, she dragged the girl to the clinic for a physical. Willing to indulge Nell after her disappointment, her doctor performed the exam.

  He had a blood sample taken, palpated the girl’s stomach and let her listen to the normal rapid chugging of the fetal heartbeat. Cassie’s eyes lit with the wonder. He scheduled an ultrasound for later in the day. As the doctor scribbled prescriptions for iron pills and pre-natal vitamins, he asked a few pertinent questions.

  “Well, Cassie, I’d say you and your baby are doing fine and dandy. You are a little anemic, but the iron pills will take care of that. Judging by what you’ve told me, I’d say you are going to be a mother around the end of June, say the twenty-seventh, give or take. Have you given any thought to putting the baby up for adoption? This is a fertility clinic and I can tell you many, many couples would be willing to pay your expenses and consider an open adoption where you could stay in touch with your child.”