Sinners Football 02- Wish for a Sinner

by Lynn Shurr

  Cassie seemed startled by the suggestion. “Up until a little while ago I thought I was going to marry the daddy. Nell, I can’t afford this. My parents barely get by now. They don’t need another baby and a high school dropout to support.” Panic invaded her voice.

  “Cassie, dear, Joe will pay for this examination and the ultrasound. When you get home, you’ll talk to your parents and come to a decision together. As for your being a high school dropout, I’d say they’re more likely to make you repeat the eleventh grade than look for a job. Don’t be afraid.”

  Once out under the turquoise blue Arizona sky, Nell suggested they go shopping for maternity clothes in order to return Joe’s pinstriped dress shirt that Cassie wore, tails out, cuffs rolled, over her unzipped jeans.

  “The money…” said Cassie.

  “My treat.” They shopped for cute coveralls, wild tops and maternity jeans. Nell insisted on getting the girl a bathing suit and two party dresses versatile enough to be worn for any special occasion that might come up in the next three months. Nell piled on stretchy underwear and low-heeled shoes so soft they would be kind to swollen feet.

  “Enough!” Cassie declared. “I’m hungry.”

  They sat outdoors at an ice cream parlor and ordered banana splits. Cassie polished off her concoction and the half Nell didn’t eat.

  The teenager leaned back and let a small burp escape from her lips. “Excuse me. That was so good, Miss Nell. Thanks, thanks for everything.”

  “I wanted to do it. Now you can go home in style.”

  “Miss Nell, Joe said you lost your babies the other night. When I asked the next day, he said you’d be fine and not to say anything about it to you, but I need to know.”

  Nell studied the dry landscaping across from their table. A tiny hummingbird drawing nectar flitted among the sharp-needled plants and avoided all hazards.

  “Joe and I were here because of the fertility clinic. My sister donated eggs to be fertilized with Joe’s sperm so I could try to have a baby.”

  “A test-tube baby?”

  “More like a petri dish baby, but yes. We were waiting to see if the implants took when we found you. I guess my body rejected them.” Nell blinked her eyes a few times and concentrated on the hummingbird, so delicate but so tough.

  “It was my fault you lost them, wasn’t it? When that guy who hassled me pushed you, that’s when it happened.”

  Nell could tell Cassie wanted her to say it wasn’t so. She could grant that wish at least.

  “We don’t know. It might be I’m unable to carry a child. I wasn’t ready to have a baby anyhow. You sat for Deanie, so you know I have a wonderful adopted son at home—if he remembers me after all these weeks. Joe and I, we can try again later if we want. It’s not that big a tragedy.”

  Cassie nodded as if she didn’t believe a word of Nell’s story.

  “What do you think about finding the best beauty salon in Phoenix and seeing what they can do about your hair?” Nell said brightly.

  “If you want to, I guess.”

  The novena brigade had gathered to greet them on arrival. Nell made out Nadine pressed against the window of the upper deck in the Lafayette Airport as she went down the steep and narrow mobile stairs pushed up against the small commuter jet from Houston. She could barely see over Joe’s head. He insisted on going down first in front of the two women he treated like delicate Royal Doulton figurines in case either should take a fall. Deanie patted his small hands against the window with excitement. For the first time since finding Cassie and losing her babies, Nell felt warm and happy inside.

  Joe lifted her down the last few steps making her feel weightless and airy. She seized her carryon bag from the porter and started eagerly for the terminal before Joe swung Cassie safely from the steps. He caught up with his wife in no time and snatched away her bag as if she were too weak to carry it inside. Nell kept going. By the time she was inside the building, all of Joe’s sisters, a couple of brothers-in-law, PawPaw Billodeaux and Nadine carrying Deanie clustered by the entry. Deanie’s young, male cousins stopped playing on the escalators and joined the group. The bored teenaged family members pulled themselves from dawdling in the snack bar and made their way to the reunion.

  Deanie bucked in his grandmother’s arms when he sighted Nell and held out his arms. She went directly to her son and buried her face into his sweet, baby-powdered neck. Deanie made everything fine again. After a few minutes of nuzzling and telling Deanie how much Mama had missed him, Nell became aware some expected people were missing from the crowd of greeters.

  She turned to locate Cassie who hung back. Deanie spotted his father and strained and held out his arms in that direction. Joe scooped him up and held him high in the air, not caring about the ribbon of drool making its way from his son’s smiling open mouth to the front of his shirt.

  “Nadine, where are Cassie’s parents? For that matter, where are mine?” she asked her mother-in-law.

  “Oh, yours are back at the house setting up a dinner. I think Episcopalians ain’t too good at showing feelings in public. Ca c’est dommage, no? Didn’t know Cassie’s parents were coming. Where is that girl, anyway?”

  Nell could understand Nadine not recognizing the teen. The best the stylist could do with Cassie’s hair had been to shingle it in close to the head. A red-gold fuzz was beginning to grow over the shaved areas, but the permanent black dye permeating the rest of her strands presented problems. In the end, the stylist stripped a few long center locks and re-colored them in red hoping to blend the two colors as the hair grew out.

  Knowing how much it would mean to the girl, Nell sprang for a makeup makeover, too. Cassie’s freckles had been lightly subdued, her eyes lined in a subtle gray-blue shade and her lips glossed a light tangerine. Cassie wore small gold hoops in newly pierced ears. She’d covered her pregnant belly with a black maternity T-shirt crisscrossed by glittering silver and gold streaks and worn over black leggings. Probably, her own mother wouldn’t have recognized her either.

  “The pregnant one, Nadine. I think she’s too embarrassed to come forward.”

  “Yeah, I remember you telling me. Damn Bijou!” Nadine pushed through her extended family and gave the girl a loving hug. “Welcome back, cher.”

  So many volunteered to carry baggage Joe didn’t have to lug his own golf clubs. He did insist on keeping Deanie, not giving him up to Nell either. The procession of trucks, vans, and sedans exited the parking lot and moved on to Chapelle where the tearful Abbotts waited to serve a hot cooked meal.

  The many Billodeauxs filled the trestle table in Joe’s kitchen and spilled into the game and living rooms with overflowing plates in hand. Cassie followed the other teens to the game room with enough food for two in her possession. Deanie sat happily in a highchair and oozed mashed bananas from the corners of his mouth. Nell suppressed her heartburn and declared this to be Thanksgiving all over again.

  She was more than glad when the bulk of the relatives left. In the kitchen with only Nadine and her own mother, Nell felt free to let her guard down and say what no one else had mentioned all evening.

  “I’m so sorry about the babies. I should have been more careful.”

  “We are, too, dear, but Joe said you can try again someday when you are both ready.” Mrs. Abbott dabbed her watering eyes.

  “We done prayed our knees black and blue at the novena, cher heart. You might still catch a baby. Joe says you could still be pregnant but wanted to come home so bad he couldn’t stop you. You supposed to check in wit’ a doctor here, now mind.” Nadine seemed absolutely positive her prayer efforts had not been wasted.

  Cassie entered carrying dirty plates and collapsed soft drink cans from the game room. She ducked her head as soon as she saw Nell about to question her.

  “Honey, did you tell your parents when our plane was arriving like I told you to?”

  “No,” the girl answered in a small voice. “I didn’t tell them about the baby either.”

 
“Cassie, you were on the phone for an hour yesterday. What on earth did you tell them?”

  “About how kind you were to me. About Joe rescuing the ponies and having them transported to the ranch. How you got me new clothes and a makeover. I told them you let me pierce my ears. Mom wasn’t too happy about that, but then said she didn’t care so long as I was well and safe and coming home soon.”

  “When did you say that would be?”

  “When Joe finished his business in Phoenix. I didn’t say why you were there.”

  “Cassie, you can’t handle things by pretending they didn’t happen. I want you to call them right now and tell them you are in Chapelle.”

  “But they’ll come here!”

  “The next thing you are going to tell them is that you’re pregnant, no matter how hard that will be. Cassie, you’ve never been a coward. You overcame cancer. You stood up to Bijou about this baby. Your parents aren’t going to throw you out after they just got you back. Call.” Nell held out the phone and Cassie took it.

  “Mom?” she said hesitantly when someone answered on the other end. “Nora, go get Mom. This is Cassie.” She took as deep a breath as her baby belly allowed. “Mom, I’m in Chapelle with Joe and Nell. Mr. Joe and Miss Nell. Yes, I know. And Mom, I’m pregnant.”

  Joe stood in the doorway of the kitchen with Deanie wrapped around his neck. He patted the baby’s bottom and watched his wife as she stood beside Cassie.

  “I want to stay in Chapelle, Mom. I don’t want to embarrass you and Dad and my brothers and sisters. I can’t face the nuns and the girls at school. Please let me stay here until my baby is born, please! Nell, she wants to talk to you.”

  “It’s no imposition. We’d be glad to have her. I’ll see she gets tutoring and goes to church, yes. No, no, the company will be great. This house is such a big empty place with so many bedrooms. Come visit us when you can. Have one of your older girls take care of the others. We’ll work things out.”

  Nell sounded incredibly cheerful. Joe didn’t say a word to disagree. He went to her side and placed Deanie in his wife’s arms.

  THIRTY-TWO

  Nell shook hands with the couple who sat across from Mintay’s desk. She knew she had done some good in explaining what the coming months would bring in the way of treatments and emotional ups and downs for their leukemia-stricken daughter. The impoverished family had two younger children being entertained in clinic’s waiting room by Cassie. How wonderful to help someone else instead of dwelling on her own problems.

  “Dr. Green is going to contact this great children’s hospital and do all she can to have Starla admitted. Your daughter will get the best of care at no cost to you. I’m living proof your daughter can recover. You saw the young pregnant woman in the lobby? Another cancer survivor. Here’s my card. Use the cell phone number to call me at any time.” Nell rose and walked her new clients to the door.

  Mintay waited in the office when Nell returned for her purse and car keys. “Tell me, who does a psychologist talk to when she has troubles of her own?” Dr. Green asked.

  “What troubles?”

  “Sit. Talk to me, Nell.”

  “Cassie is waiting.”

  “She’s picking up the toys in the waiting room. We got time.” Mintay leaned back in the office chair to show just how much time she had.

  “Fine, then. Joe is still treating me like I’m going break if he touches me. He can’t accept I lost the babies. He’s so full of hope I’m still pregnant when I cuddle up next to him and whisper dirty nothings in his ear, he says—not now Tink, I’m not in the mood.” Nell deepened her voice and assumed a stance, a dead-on imitation of her husband.

  Mintay crowed, “Joe Dean Billodeaux, that walking case of ragin’ Cajun hormones, said that? I’ve lived to see the day! Hallelujah!”

  “Maybe I shouldn’t tell you this, but I’ve always liked it when Joe played a little rough with me. Then, I wasn’t poor little Tink, the fragile cancer victim, but a woman he wanted very badly. Now, he doesn’t want me at all—since I lost his children.”

  “Bullshit, pardon my French! The man is so worried he actually talked to Rev about his feelings. Of course, Rev talked to me and asked me to talk to you. Now, how about that?”

  “You are good friends, and I appreciate your concern but…”

  “No buts. Joe says you still show symptoms of pregnancy and you’ve been home three weeks. He’s says you are grouchy and your stomach is upset all the time. He says your nipples are getting darker. Let me test you and put both of you at ease.”

  “I cannot believe he discussed my nipples with Rev!

  “No big deal. The test, Nell.”

  “I’d rather not know right now. It would be failing all over again. As for the rest, having Cassie around is sort of nerve-wracking. That would account for the indigestion and the grumpiness. She isn’t any trouble exactly. Since she can’t ride she spends most of her time in the barn grooming the horses and those poor old ponies. I overheard her apologizing to Boo and Buttercup about leaving them with the carnival. Jet and Jazzy, the new ones, are thriving under her care. They aren’t nearly as decrepit as we thought. As long as Cassie brings them carrots and sugar cubes, they all seem inclined to forgive and forget.” Nell and Mintay smiled at each other.

  “Cassie likes her tutor and does her homework. She helps where she can around the house. She offers to babysit Deanie if I have to go out. Really, she is a model guest.”

  “Except she’s struttin’ around with a big ole belly full of baby right in your face all day. Joe said he thought it was a bad idea to let her stay, not that he begrudges the money you spend on her. He’s a generous man, but he says he sees this look on your face sometimes. He thinks you are in pain. Is he right, Nell?”

  “Maybe. I’d hate to think I am so small and envious of a pregnant teenage girl.”

  “That would be natural. Heavens, I envy her when I watch her eat the entire office’s supply of Easter candy I put out for the little ones…and not get sick. I’ll bet all that baby weight slides off of her like jelly from a knife once she gives birth, too. Speaking of which, has she decided to keep the baby?”

  “She hasn’t said otherwise though I know she has talked about it with her parents. I’ll ask Mrs. Thomas this weekend. She’s supposed to collect Cassie for Easter.”

  “Fine, then. Nell, I’ll give you three more weeks, but then I expect you to get a pregnancy test. Just in case, let me give you some vitamins and…”

  “Speaking of pregnancies, I was supposed to mention a little something to you when I could work it into the conversation.”

  “Don’t tell me Rev has gotten Joe on his side.”

  “He’s returning a favor, I believe. Though as far as I can tell, Joe thinks families should be started as soon as the ink is dry on the wedding certificate. He gave me three whole months before deciding radical action was necessary. You and Rev have been married a year now and the age of thirty looms ahead for both of you. Why do you want to wait?”

  “Nell, being both Dr. Arminta Green and Mrs. Revelation Bullock is not as easy as I thought. Before Rev took me down like I was heading for the goal line with his team’s football, I wanted to devote my life to medicine in a poor rural parish.”

  “Aren’t you?”

  “I am, but when it’s the off-season, Rev wants to play around, go places, do things, and I can’t simply take up and leave. Then, there’s his family. Don’t get me wrong, I love each and every one, but they are so churchy. I’ve always put my faith in modern science. After his career is over, I know Rev wants to assist his father and later, take over the congregation at the AME. One of the things I admire about Rev is his faith and his vision of life beyond football, but I can’t quite see myself as the minister’s wife.” Mintay sighed. “Adding children to the mix would be too much right now.”

  “I understand, but sometimes both God and modern science sends things our way more quickly than we anticipate. In vitro for me and a hellava guy
with a big religious family for you. I think starting a family would take care of one of your problems. Rev is more likely to stay home and socialize less if you have children to keep him occupied. On the other hand, don’t be pushed if you aren’t ready. I know how that feels.”

  “But you did it for Joe?”

  “Yes, and he would say he did it for me. That’s love, I guess. Call if you want to talk some more.”

  “And vice versa.”

  Mrs. Thomas arrived in the battered family van to retrieve her seven months pregnant daughter for the Easter holiday. None of Cassie’s many siblings had been allowed to ride along and Mr. Thomas had not wanted Joe to drive his daughter to New Orleans. “You’ve done enough,” he told Joe.

  Joe wasn’t sure if Mr. Thomas meant that in a good or bad way, but he did not argue. In the chaos of loading luggage and Easter gifts into the van, Nell was unable to speak to Cassie’s mother alone.

  Once they were gone, the huge house grew awfully quiet. Joe had taken L.B. out for some exercise. Later, he would ride Fatima around in the ring. Though expecting, the rotund little mare didn’t appear much bigger than usual and she certainly wasn’t as grumpy as Nell. When Nell suggested she exercise Fatty, Joe said quickly he would do it as soon as he finished with L.B. All this protection was driving his wife mad. Joe still had hopes for adding to his family and would not let go.

  When Joe, smelling of the barn and letting in a heady whiff of spring air, came for lunch, Nell lay in wait. As soon as the Thomas van turned on to the county road, she’d gone upstairs and found her under-used burgundy nightie. She didn’t even bother with the bikini panties, just placed herself between Joe and the ham and pepper jack cheese sandwich waiting on the counter.