Atlas

by Alanna K Puzak

  I looked around and could not find him, he had left to go to the restroom I think, but I really did not care anymore at that point. My drunk ass was done for the night. I grabbed my clutch and started walking down the stairs to leave.

  I was walking down those cracking wood stairs so steep a drunk person would probably think it was a slide, noticing the dark like walls they have set up matching the blacked out entrance and exit. I see him. Atlas walking right for me, that red light that darkened this place accenting his skin in such a luxurious way.

  “I have been waiting for you all night.” He said while cornering me on the staircase.

  “What the hell are you talking about? Don’t you have to get back to your showcase Barbie doll upstairs? And I thought you had too much work to do to take a chance with me.”

  “Oh shut up.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “It might have taken me a little bit but I know what I want. And it is you.”

  He grabs my hips and brushes his left hand up the side of my cheek. He grabs my face and pushes my lips ever so softly against his. He moves his body so close to mine I can feel every breath he takes and beat of his heart as if it is in sync with my own. At first, I wanted to resist but it just felt so right. I wrapped my wrist around my clutch and put my hands on his hips and pulled his groin closer to me. He slightly pulled away still nose to nose.

  “I have wanted to do that all night.”

  My heart was fluttering like I have never recalled it doing before.

  “What does this mean for us?” I tried to say attempting to catch my breath.

  “Well we want each other, right?”

  I bit my lip as he lifted my chin to look into his eyes, “yeah.”

  “Well then will do just that. We will be with each other, but nobody can find out. Everything I have is on the line.”

  He gave me one last kiss and I just let him walk back upstairs. I just watched it in slow motion through my memory. That was the moment I knew this might be more than a mission. I did not know what to say or do at that point. I walked out the door thinking that was all.

  I got back to my room and contemplated going back for hours. The pros and cons of everything. Passing back and forth talking to myself like a crazy person. I just decided to leave it where it was and just go to sleep.

  “Maybe it will all make sense tomorrow,” I whispered to myself while wrapping myself in the river of sheets and closing my eyes.

  CHAPTER SIX: LOST PATH

  F lash forward, another few months down the road from that night at the bar. I never thought I could love for real. But Atlas really showed me the real feeling of love. It was so amazing. I would always smile when he was around, I could just never have a bad thought of anything when thinking of him. This was a first.

  We had to keep our relationship in secret because of RED’s laws but it was great. RED absolutely forbade anyone in the higher custody of RED to date or have any type of romantic relationship with a newcomer.

  I am guessing the night at Maulano did not count since there were plenty of people, including us, not obeying that law. But nobody ever spoke of that night after.

  Atlas and I loved seeing each other but it had to be at all wakes of the morning. He would sneak to my place and me to his. Since it was in the transitioning time frame of my training we would just play it off as last minute “work”. And I figured since James wanted me to hook up with him he would find a way to hide it from RED anyway.

  On this particular night, Atlas had come over around 11 pm. He walked in wearing his dark grey thin sweatpants, black shirt, and black zip-up hoodie with a white line upon the zipper. His hair in messy waves and his glasses on. I loved when he was just himself around me.

  He quietly shut the door behind him, locked it, took his hood off his head and whispered, “come here!”

  I ran over to him jumping on him. He grabbed my ass so hard lifting me to make our lips meet, he turned me to push me against the door. “I’ve missed you,” I said as he kissed my neck.

  He slowly put me down while kissing me. My shorts riding up my ass and my shirt halfway to my chest. I fixed myself and gave him a peck on the cheek.

  “I’ve missed you too baby.”

  That night was just about us. We sat out on the porch drinking beer and gazing at what we could see of the stars and of course the city lights. This night was important because it was the night I truly knew I loved this man.

  I remember sitting there watching him look up to the sky telling me again about his dream to just be a family and leave this behind. He took a sip of beer, sighed, sat farther back into the chair, he put his hood back on, looked to his left right at me, gave me that smile with those gorgeous white teeth, and those ever so slight dimples peeking by his lips, that was the moment I knew I truly loved this man.

  After a few drinks and light conversation he invited me to come sit on his lap. I wrapped my legs around each side of him and put my beer down. He slowly caressed my left leg and pointed to my tattoo.

  “I have always wanted to know … what is this for?” His fingers softly tickling the birds as if they were ready to play.

  “Well as you know our families cannot know what we really do.” I continued, “on my last day at home I went and got this. They are two ravens dancing with each other.”

  “Why ravens?”

  “Promise not to laugh?”

  “Maybe …” He said with that beautiful smile and deep voice while taking another sip of beer.

  “Well in the belief of Odin it is said that he had ravens. Those ravens would follow and protect the ones he loved and come to him with any thought of harm to those who they were watching.”

  He took a sip of his Corona and itched the scruff on his cheek, “Ok …”

  “So having two ravens one for my family and one for me, I feel as though I will be watching over them and them me. Just a mental comfort blanket that they are really ok while I am gone. And if they are not then somehow I will know and can run home to them.”

  He looked at me as if that was the most beautiful but cheesiest thing he had ever heard.

  “Wow.” He put down his beer, tried not to laugh, smiled, then grabbed my ass picked me up and started kissing me. He opened up the door and I shut it, one hand holding me up on his hip bones while the other so aggressively on my neck and fingers grabbing my hair as if he didn’t want our lips leaving each other. We closed the blinds and I pulled down his hood as we headed to the bedroom. He laid me so softly on the bed while closing the door behind him.

  The next day I woke up in my bed, sheets everywhere, pillows scattered, blinds closed, and Atlas gone. Figures, he thinks we cant be seen together so he probably left in the dead of night when nobody would see him or even care to look at the cameras. I knew it was time to get back to work so I got up, got ready, and headed to training.

  I was really falling for this man. I knew it was wrong and it was against everything I had worked so hard for but there was just something about him that drove me crazy in such a decent way. You all are probably thinking, “What the hell is taking you so long to just be with him and kick the CIA in the ass?” Trust me those things are going through my head as well. I just need to play this mission longer.

  If I keep doing as told and find out the truth, I can make things right where they need to be. I am a rebel and I do things my way, hello, that is why RED wanted me in the first place, I go against the rules for the greater good.

  I got up to the gym and saw Atlas just standing there. He looked at me with a blank stare you would expect to see from a person who just saw a ghost. He stared at my face like he had never seen me before. I just bit my glossed lip and turned away. Nobody could know about us besides the CIA so it is not like I can even look excited to see him.

  My heart thought to myself, “how did I get so stupid to fall in love and betray him like this,” while my brain was thinking, “don’t fall for this man, stay focused, you have too much at stake here fo
r a real fling.”

  I was going back and forth between myself that day of training. I could not understand why after just a short time with him why I was truly falling for this man.

  It was not too serious yet for him but for me it was turning into something. I was head over heels falling for this man. I mean two years with my ex and nothing. No time at all with this man and I am crazy.

  A few weeks later we were finally coming to the end of RECD. Each day to that moment had been like the last. Hours upon hours of physical distortion, people dropping and not showing the next day. Day after day walking back to my room drenched in a pool of sweat and blood.

  Atlas would nod at me every day after training and we would go our “own ways.” We started not to see each other on a normal basis anymore. We wanted to be together but his time in Rio was escalating and my training was taking up all my time. I know when he was my superior, we could do more with each other but now that I was moving on to the next division and him being gone all of the time, we knew we would not get as much time together. I knew I had to make something happen and fast.

  I thought to myself to just stay on my mission because even though I had not heard from the CIA for a bit I was not sure if they had anything else planned for me or if I was 100% part of RED now. My whole life was just up in the air.

  The second to last day of training, I was nice and thought maybe I should help him clean up after class, as all the other students just left everything everywhere and did not care who had to take care of it afterward. He didn’t seem to mind at all. We stayed in and finished right after sunset. We closed all the blinds to all the walls and started heading back down.

  He asked, “What floor?”

  “24 please.”

  “Still at the same place I see.” That smirk wrapping his entire face.

  “Nice for you to notice”

  He pushed 30 and 24.

  The elevator ride was so awkward. I could not tell if I should talk. I had to play it as a double agent. One who wanted him but had to pretend not to, and one who had to pretend not to want him, but actually did. My job was getting confusing.

  Then out of the blue, as I am zipping up my hoodie, he pushed me against the wall of the shaking elevator. He ran his finger up the middle of my leg while my hands were pinned above me.

  “What the hell do you think you are doing?” I yelled while twisting out.

  Though my voice was not shaking or scared he could tell I was pissed and I was not going to put up with this. I thought maybe this was some type of training. I didn’t think anything more of it.

  As we spun together he hit the emergency stop button, knowing that there were no cameras in the elevator. He ripped my bag off my shoulder and threw my stuff on the ground, grabbed both of my wrists, and twirled to push me against the other wall.

  As I was about to pull the move, choker flip as he called it, where you have both arms up against a wall not able to move, so you push your legs to the back run up the wall and spin around them pulling their arms to their back, he lifts his evil eye and winks.

  “Is this funny to you,” I aggressively ask.

  He pulls both wrists into his left hand, puts his right hand in my hair lifting it up in on the back of my head, leans in closer to me, stares into my eyes, “do you trust me Mel?”

  I paused because I have no clue what the hell he is doing. “Sure asshole.” I take a deep breath not knowing what to expect. He bites his lip, lets his left hand go of my wrists, put his left hand on my back, pulls me in, and kisses me.

  What the fuck is up with this man and kissing me! Seriously! He is like the most out of moment person I have ever met in my life, ever!

  He kept kissing me! It was like he never went anywhere. Every single thing I pushed down came rushing back. This man had some kind of hold on my heart and I had no clue how. The path of work and heart were merging as one and the trail was getting a little too foggy to see which way was right.

  It was him and me again and nothing in the way. Something so magical that I thought only stupid love books and movies told you actually existed. It felt so right and I did not want it to end.

  He hit the stop button and the elevator starts moving while we are kissing. The elevator beeped, 30th floor, he pushed his forehead on mine, kissed it, and left.

  I really do not know what happened then. I felt as though I was a lost dog in an unknown territory. Do I ask him about it? Do I wait and see what happens? Seriously what the damn hell.

  I walked back to my apartment wondering, what does this all mean? I get that we are sneaking around but when you do not see someone for a while and they act like where they have been is not a big deal, it is kind of a big deal.

  The next day was the very last day of training and we were almost done. Only a handful of us were still left in the class. Atlas asked me to stay after class to help clean up. I looked at him and just shook my head yes. Of course, we had not spoken since the elevator. I just figured he was weird about it, so I ignored it. After all, he had a thing of getting me when he wanted me now.

  In my head I am thinking, “Wow great face Mel, he probably thinks you are some sort of nerd.” As the last part of the class was happening he turns on the song, a remix but the song we first danced to. I did not think much of it until he walked by and winked, just like the elevator, saying, “this is for you.” My stomach dropped just like it did the first day I met him and my cheeks leaked like a pink wine onto the sand. I did not know what to think. It had been days since we kissed, let alone talked about anything. I wasn’t sure what was going on.

  I am trying to run two lives while trying to discover my own true self was getting exhausting. I was lost and confused. He was all over the place but so was I. You know, I knew things in this line of business would be complicated with work and pleasure. But when your work becomes your pleasure and you are not just faking it anymore, shit gets real.

  “Alright fuckers, the class is over, go back to your rooms and get ready for RECD “graduation” tomorrow. After that real life starts.” Atlas had a look on his face that I only saw the first time he looked at me. I did not know how to feel. Those dead eyes he had for me for weeks were finally gone.

  “Mel don’t forget you’re helping me clean up after this,” Atlas whispered.

  “You got it,” I said.

  I just continued to ice the back of my head as people left. Sweat and blood was dripping down my face and ending up on the floor. I was so tired. My muscles aching from getting my ass kicked and kicking ass.

  Just imagine a full day, every day, of taking multiple weapons and beating the shit out of one another. Learning how to get out of any situation and put someone into it. It was a great experience and things I will use every day in my line of work, but at the end of the day, it still beat the shit out of you.

  Atlas started picking up, as I was watching him that is exactly what I started to do on the other side of the room. I started putting guns, ninja stars, knives, and ropes away. He was working on the blocks, swords, planks of wood, climbing tools, and weights.

  As the sun was setting making the building lights in the distance twinkle like stars, he looks at me and says, “Mel, did you ever notice how beautiful the city looks up here at sunset.”

  I turned away to the wall of windows, “Yeah it is gorgeous isn’t it, it is my favorite time of day, all the lights coming on, the sky a rainbow of colors, it is just everything beautiful about a city in one moment.”

  I turned back around to look at him, to confront him about what I knew about him and everything that had been going on. We haven’t had time alone since the elevator, and even though it was only yesterday I still do not know what to think. As you can tell this man made me question myself a lot, not very common in my kind of lifestyle.

  That was the night I knew I could not be without him. As he looked at me, he kissed me on my forehead and I knew my life had just changed.

  “What was that for,” I asked

 
; “I have missed you like crazy. I have not been able to barely cope the passing time without you.”

  “What?” I gasped looking dazed and confused.

  “I have been on a pretty top secret job and anyone I was close to I was scared that they would be hunted if my cover was blown. I had to keep you safe.”

  “Atlas I am so confused right now.” I whispered as I put a few more rifles away.

  He grabbed my arm pulling me into him and causing me to drop the guns that were left in my hands, “Mel there is something fishy going on here. I do not know what but I am going to find out. And until I do I have to keep you safe. Just know that I do like you, a lot, and I am doing this for you. RED is being watched by the CIA, and they are up to no good.”

  Holy shit! He is on to the CIA. Is he on to me? Is this why he had the picture of me on the map? No, of course, he is not. Why would he be trusting me if he was on to me? Is he the double agent or is the CIA?

  Since I already knew all of this it felt as though all of that went in one ear and out the other, so I focused on a bigger issue, not getting my cover blown. I had to change the subject and fast.

  “If you care about me so damn much why the cold shoulder and acting like I am just another person. I mean I know we can’t publicly flaunt our feelings but still …”

  “I know … I …”

  I told myself it was time for some full blown drama queen. As I pushed his hand off of me I started yelling, “No! You don’t get a word in this! You keep abandoning me Atlas! One minute we are falling for each other with stupid spur of the moment prince charming fucking acts and the next I am your everything and in the damn blink of an eye you are gone. I mean I know you have your stupid mission in Rio but for God sakes Atlas you tell me nothing not even that you were becoming my trainer! I don’t fucking understand!”

  I burst into tears pushing him against the wall screaming. The emotions were filling me up and I was hoping to get some kind of answer out of all of this.