by Jessie K
“No one can prove anything, right? I mean, we’ve been careful. Maybe they were just suspicious … or jealous …”
“Jealous?”
He watched her lips twitch, and then she shrugged. “You never know. You’ve been dubbed hottest teacher at the school. But without photographic evidence, they can’t pin anything on us.”
“Not a single thing.” She was chewing on her lip again. Matthew didn’t like what could possibly be stewing inside her head. “What?”
“You need to cast Aria as the lead in the next play.”
Did he hear her right? “Um, what?”
Lynn sighed heavily and flopped against the rock they’d just dirtied. “Look, if all this person has is an assumption, we can’t feed into it.”
“No, but—“
“So we need to take the heat off of us at the school for a while. Show you aren’t playing favorites or whatever. That your coaching is just that—coaching. I mean, it might throw a red herring out, right?”
God, he would kiss her again if they weren’t discussing the potential end and ruin of his career/life/sex life. “You’re incredibly brilliant. But I hate the thought of someone else taking your place. I want the world to see you on that stage, not Aria.”
“The world will never see our tiny auditorium.”
She smiled sadly. Matthew stuffed his hands in his pockets and chewed on the inside of his cheek. Lynn was right, they needed distance at school. And Aria really was talented, it’s not like this would be the end of his educational reign as the best director ever. Simply, Aria wasn’t Lynn. And not to mention, their history …
“You’re right. You’re right.” He smiled tightly, tried to be encouraging. She was right, but it didn’t mean he had to like it. He was the king and commander of his life, and altering course because of enemy forces just made him want to rally his army, so to speak. Unfortunately, he couldn’t do anything to a student. Unless that student was Lynn and handcuffs were involved. “I’ll do it for us.”
She still looked sad and Matthew missed her dimples. So he claimed her again, letting their sex overshadow the growing worry in their minds. Problems for the school week. On the weekend, he was a man and she was a woman, albeit a young one, and all that mattered existed between them. Later, he would take her out for a real date, one with dinner and dessert. He would make her laugh and squeal and then fuck her some more.
All this shit would be something to worry about later. At least until she was safe at home, and he could resume digging to find out who the fuck was trying to ruin his career. All signs pointed away from a fellow staff member; his ass would have been in the principal’s office so fast, his shoes would have fallen off. In the event it was a student, with no evidence, he wouldn’t admit to a thing, he never would. He’d watch them pack up their shit long before he did.
Matthew enjoyed almost all of his students, truly. It was incredible to work with such enthused young minds and train up the future stage stars. But when it came to his life, Matthew’s loyalties sided exactly in one spot: his reputation.
He just hoped, more than anything, it wasn’t who he thought it was. Guilt told him he should come clean to Lynn, but there was too much at stake there. She wouldn’t understand, not yet, not really. Maybe he was wrong. Hopefully he was wrong. He’d cross his fingers and throw salt over his shoulder if needed.
Once he had more information, he reasoned. Instead of allegations, he’d get truths. No point in further upsetting Lynn until he knew for sure what he was dealing with. So he watched his classes intently, making mental notes about who stayed too long in his class or who couldn’t look him in the eye.
Keeping away from Lynn for the next week of dress rehearsals, and the final weekend of performances, though, was hard. Lynn knew it was what they had to do, but it killed him to watch her large eyes downcast when he finished a pep talk and immediately left the stage area. They couldn’t give anyone any reason to up the harassment.
He didn’t want to tell her, but every morning and between every period, he held his breath in anticipation of another note, or even photographs. In part because he wanted to see who it was, but also because every day that progressed, his nerves frayed all the more. It wasn’t like he had chosen to fall head over heels for this beautiful girl.
Hell, at the time he was under the impression she was perfectly legal and in college. Would things have ended differently if he knew she was still a high school student? Hard to say. It didn’t matter. He was wholly hers. Everything she could ever want was hers, no matter how he had to get it.
But it would have been really great if there wasn’t a phantom breathing down his neck, making him paranoid to take a piss or say three words to a student. What if someone took offense to his private rehearsals? He made a point to keep them in groups, but there were plenty of horror stories to go around about infatuated students who fabricated lies about a teacher who didn’t reciprocate their star-crossed affections. Lynn couldn’t get caught in those crosshairs.
Announcing the spring play didn’t help, either. He was thrilled about obtaining permission to put on Spring Awakening, but knowing his Wendla wouldn’t be Lynn hampered the overall tone of the production. And then there was dealing with teen sexuality with a bunch of cavemen adolescents. Come to think of it, he wasn’t really sure why he chose this musical …
“Spring Awakening?!”
A squeal threatened to burst his ear drums. Matthew looked up from his curriculum notes to see Aria Levens dancing in front of his door.
“We’re seriously doing this musical?!”
He nodded, grim. Hello, Wendla. “That we are. Heard of it?”
The look she gave him. She was going to make her future husband very miserable one day. “Do you seriously even have to ask that?”
“It’s not for everyone.” Matthew shrugged and straightened his papers. “The administration wasn’t exactly thrilled, but they were thoroughly impressed with how you guys handled Romeo and Juliet. So, congratulations, Miss Levens, you had a hand in bringing Germany to New York.”
Her ego easily increased ten-fold. Holy hell, did he ever dislike her. “Thanks, Mr. F. It was easy with a director as awesome as you.”
“Are we going to fuck in this one?” Brad asked. “We got seriously screwed in the last one. Literally.”
“Figuratively.”
“Whatever. Are we gonna get it on onstage? That’s what this show is about, right?”
Matthew rubbed the bridge of his nose as the rest of his class filtered in. He noticed Lynn was last. She took her new seat in the far left of the room, far from him. His gut lurched to his shoes. After this many days, he should have been used to it by now, but having her so far away made the class significantly more difficult to endure. He’d never realized how vital she was to his enjoyment of teaching. Maybe it wasn’t the students he enjoyed, but teaching Lynn.
“All right, class. As I was telling Miss Levens, your killer production was the push we needed to get approval for Spring Awakening. For those who don’t know, it’s a classic German play dating back to the 1880s. It discusses the huge disconnect between teens and adults, and explores the concept of teenage sexuality.”
Brad whistled and the class broke out in laughter. Lynn’s dimples showed. Goddammit.
“No, Mr. Smith, there will be no active relations on stage.” Matthew struggled to keep composure as the guys groaned. He understood. What guy didn’t want to get frisky on stage, especially with some of the girls in the department? Never mind that he was scaling back some of the scenes expressly so Lynn wouldn’t get too frisky on stage herself. “But it’s a powerful musical, and there will be plenty for you to giggle about in the wings.”
“Dudes don’t giggle, Mr. F.” Dave chipped in. “That’s a girl thing.”
“Really? So explain the noises I heard coming from the boys dressing room last weekend?”
More catcalling and whistling. Matthew laughed along with them but rolled his eyes. Wha
t struck him the most was the sheer difference in maturity between Lynn and the rest of the class. But everything came back to Lynn.
“All right, all right.” He clapped his hands. “Auditions are tomorrow. Remember, this is a musical. Guys, get over your fear of tight pants and dancing, because I promise this will be the one to make it all worth it. Mr. Lewis, please stop humping your desk.
“This production will be part of our ongoing lesson about what theater is really all about. It’s not all classical productions and people dressed as cats. Historically, plays were used to express the feelings of the common man. Lessons were taught, uprisings were funded, ideas were explored, just as in artwork, except this was dynamic. Instead of looking at a two-dimensional piece of artwork to represent the feelings of a group of people, plays rallied the masses. This was their lifeblood.”
“So … we’re talking about lifeblood in guys’… you know …” More laughter.
Matthew shook his head. “Um, no, Miss Anderson. It’s not that kind of lifeblood. Come on guys, you are all almost adults. This play is absolutely saucy, but it’s also empowering and destructive. It highlights the growing divide between childhood and adulthood. This is something you should all be able to relate to.”
“I understand it, Mr. F.” Aria chimed in, shooting her trademarked nasty towards the giggling boys in the class. She was surprisingly effective. “And we’re so close to Broadway, so we need exposure to a higher realm of theater than what is traditionally taught in the high school circuit.”
“Yes!” Matthew dipped down low and put his hands over his heart. “Yes! Thank you, Miss Levens. I’m here to expand your horizons and shatter everything you know about theater. This is part of it. While I was looking through your history of department productions, I noticed a pretty sad line-up of musicals. Time to fix that. Broadway is about life and music. Life is about music. Let’s make another killer show, yeah?”
Brad and Dave whooped, his personal cheering section. Despite their inherent raunchiness, he enjoyed them in his class. Even if it was sometimes like teaching seven-year olds.
“So! For auditions, I want all of you to bring your best pieces. I want vibrato and passion in those voices.”
“Can we sing for crew sign-ups, too?” Dave asked.
“Absolutely, gentlemen. I look forward to hearing what you’re bringing.”
“I’d bring earplugs,” Lynn snorted from her seat.
Matthew kept himself in check, despite wanting to laugh. She hadn’t participated in class since they found the note. He hoped this meant she was growing increasingly more comfortable in his class, despite what was going on. The idea of losing her was painful. This class needed her. “Oh, come now, Miss Viggiani. They can’t be that bad.”
Brad nodded his head. “Yeah we can.”
Lynn held out her hands as if to say, See?
He allowed himself to laugh along with the rest of the class. “Perhaps I will take your advice. Here are copies of the script. I want you to start reviewing them. You don’t have to audition with a scene from the musical, but it is encouraged. I’d like to see what you all can bring to this production. It’s an intense one and I’m excited to see what magic we can stir up.”
“In my …”
“And that’s enough, Mr. Smith.” Matthew checked the wall clock, conveniently located above Lynn’s chair. She wasn’t looking at him. Goddammit, this sucked. “Okay guys. Hit the scripts for the remainder of class.”
“Hit the scripts in my—”
“Enough.”
He returned to his desk and pretended to sort through more papers while they worked. Or pretended to work. Matthew began jotting down cast notes, something he had meant to start earlier, but he’d been too distracted waiting for someone to spring a scandal on him. Lynn was going to have to be a chorus member. She’d steal the show there, but it was necessary.
On the other hand, it was a good warmup for entering the theater world. He spent a lot of time climbing through the sludgy choral ranks before he started landing supporting roles. This was how he would justify this whole, terrible thing: Spring Awakening would be the next gamut in Lynn’s training. She would learn to be a part of a company, and make the smaller roles just as impactful. That was the benefit of this show, and, truly, part of the reason why he picked it.
He was here to teach, after all. Everyone needed to learn how to shine, regardless of their role, even if he wasn’t as invested in them as he was Lynn. And then it struck him—was this how someone found out? Did he truly play favorites that poorly? Looking out over his class, he saw the eagerness some of the other students as they browsed through the script. Was he doing a disservice to them because he was sleeping with one of their own?
Matthew needed to take a minute and reassess his priorities here. School was school. Personal life was personal life. He learned that lesson the goddamn hard way with Nadia, making him a hypocrite in his own classroom. That was pretty shitty, Flint.
So he tweaked his desired cast list, no matter how much it pained him to put Lynn near the bottom, and studied his students. McKenzi would do well in a main role. He’d heard her singing to herself during rehearsals and tech days, and she was pretty good. Aria, despite her ego or because of it, would definitely not disappoint. Brad and Dave would actually add a whole other level to the performance. April nailed the desire to rebel.
His shoulder blades twitched with the knowledge he was being watched. Very carefully, he snuck a glance towards the door. It was empty. He looked back out over the class, and there was Aria, studying him just as he studied them. When their eyes met, she winked.
Well … fuck.
PART THREE
chapter three
LYNN
So she wasn’t going to land the starring role like she wanted, and her final year in the department wasn’t going to meet her expectations. Her thirst exceeded an auditorium stage and she was a fighter. If therapy had taught her anything, it was that she was able to overcome the bullshit holding her back.
Really, Lynn should have been no different than Aria: snooty, obnoxiously egocentric, lording wealth and stature over the high school peons. She didn’t because she was better than that, better than her parents, better than her upbringing. Now she would be better than the pathetic scrap of a role Matthew would throw at her. It would be a lie to deny how much it sucked, especially when she knew what she was capable of. The local newspaper wrote a glowing review of her performance in Romeo and Juliet. Superintendent Davies sent her a personalized letter of congratulations. Lynn had the chops and the talent.
Remembering why she was doing this—and that it was her idea to begin with—was a struggle, but she clung to it. Aria couldn’t take Juliet away from her. She couldn’t take Matthew away from her. So, let the bitch have a puny role in a high-school production. Whatever. She didn’t care.
“God, I can’t wait to see you blow her the fuck out of the water.” Dana settled into her seat in the auditorium and pulled out a sketch pad. “I live for this shit. Rest in pieces, Levens.”
“I don’t know.” Lynn scratched her arm, hating that she had to keep all of this from her best friend. It was eating her up, every last bit of it. She and Matthew had to severely limit their interactions, especially with her parents breathing down her neck about early admission possibilities and studying for the ACTs. She had no idea when to tell them none of it was going to happen because she was going straight to the City. “Aria is a really talented singer. You heard her at the talent show last year.”
“I heard cats meowing.” Dana scoffed and chewed on her pencil eraser. “Don’t be nice to her. You’re Team Us, remember. Fuck her. She sucks.”
Lynn laughed. “Right. Well, we’ll see. You know what the play is about. She’s definitely very ... awakened.”
“Right. By half the football team. Extracurriculars don’t mean you get the role. Duh. Now face forward, I need to work on my profiles.”
Lynn obliged and resisted the
urge to chew her nails to pieces. She felt the need to cry and pee all at the same time. Tryouts never made her nervous, not here in the school that she practically dominated. But this was different and there was no sense in pretending it wasn’t. She should make it realistic—she wouldn’t get the lead, but she was also using this to prove Mr. Flint didn’t play favorites and was fair, right?
She wanted everyone in that damn school to know she deserved every fucking lead ever, in every production, but that her sexy lover of a teacher wanted to teach everyone, not just coddle the sexy superstars like herself. The constant warring about it, though, made her queasy.
Dana had a point. Aria was their enemy and letting her just walk off with the lead would make her horribly unbearable. The stakes were high, but Lynn couldn’t force herself to allow Aria to walk all over her. She wasn’t that much of a martyr.
“I hope that face means you’re getting ready to murder Aria. You know, like, musically.” Dana interrupted her thoughts. “Because I’m otherwise terrified of what is going on up there.”
Lynn squared her jaw. Aria was going to have to earn it. End of story. She had no idea the gift she was about to be given, and she better deliver. Lynn turned to smile at her best friend, best cheerleader, and tiny savior. “Oh, she’s going down.”
Dana clapped. “That’s my GIRL. Please tell me you decided to do Defying Gravity. Aria could never hit those notes in her freaking dreams.”
Lynn flashed a sharp grin and said, “I need to join the others up front.”
“Ooo, kill ‘em!” Dana called after her. “Metaphorically!”
Matthew, looking as scruffy and delicious as ever in his plain button-down and tight jeans, cast a glance backwards. “Let’s keep the violence staged, shall we?”
“I just meant musically!” Dana hollered. “A verbal onslaught, if you will!”