by Jessie K
“Thank you, Miss Crofton.”
Matthew shook his head and shuffled through his notepads. Lynn watched him, waiting for the moment he came across the note she’d doodled on one of them before everyone else arrived and while he was in the light booth. Right on cue, the corners of his mouth tugged into a sweet smile. He tore off the sheet and folded it up. It went right into the pocket over his heart, which he loved to pat when the class did something he loved. He patted other things when she did something he enjoyed, but she loved that her series of hearts kissed the skin where his own beat.
Try to get that close to him, Aria. Just try.
“Welcome to the auditions for Spring Awakening!” Matthew said as he climbed onto the stage. “This is a great turnout today, and I’m thrilled to see what you’ve all got. I hope you all read through the script beforehand, but as a refresher for those who forgot, or lied—”
A chorus of snickers threaded through the auditorium. Lynn allowed herself to smile. He really was funny.
“—Spring Awakening is a story of rebellion, heartache, and lust. There’s art, there’s music, and there’s a whole lot of weird shit we’re going to be bringing to life.
“As a forward, I’d like everyone to know each role in this production is vital. Some of our supporting characters won’t be in every number, but still have a major impact on the story development. Every piece is here for a reason, just like Romeo and Juliet, but on a somewhat grander scale. There is no shame in any role. Moreover, I’d love to change up our cast and give some new faces time to shine. So hit me with your strongest auditions, guys. I want to be wowed.”
“In bed!”
“Thank you, Mr. Smith.” Matthew shook his head of beautiful curls. They were partially hidden in a beige slouchy beanie. He looked very hipster, in a hot way. “Okay! I’ll call your name, one by one, for your tryout. Please sign in now, if you haven’t already, in order to perform.”
A few people shuffled around his desk, set up in the center of the auditorium. Aria turned to her friend, Margaret, and whispered loudly, “He makes that hat look good.”
Lynn gritted her teeth. Oh, hell. This was going to be a long, torturous afternoon.
Overall, Lynn was impressed by a lot of the auditions. A lot of choir members showed up, and their vocal superiority over the most of the department was pretty evident. Not that Lynn was worried. Defying Gravity was her secret weapon. She’d let them know she could have spent her time in choir … if she wasn’t already too busy chasing down the starlit dreams of Broadway.
When it was her turn, all the churning in her stomach ceased. This was her home, under these lights. If the bastard who was out to ruin her life was here—ahem, Aria—it didn’t faze her any longer. This was her house and nothing happened here without her permission.
And she gave herself permission to knock it out of the freaking park and remind every last one of them who the hell she was. Lynn Maria Viggiani was, and continued to be, a star.
She plugged in her phone on the small radio on stage and paced for a minute to mentally prepare herself for the audition of her lifetime. Ophelia had nothing on her Elphaba. As the music began, she channeled every lesson Matthew had ever given her, let the auditorium and school fade away, and pictured herself in a place of perfect mental clarity.
And goddamn, did she nail it. The song was her anthem, her promise to break the shackles of high school and teenage bullshit and the petty drama everyone liked to stir, and soar into something better. Because she was better.
She channeled the first night she met Matthew, when they were twirling around the rooftop gardens. He had positioned her like the ballerina in the fountain, ready to break her shackles and soar off into the sky. Lynn felt like she really could, as the music swelled and dipped, rocketing her through the highs and lows of being shackled to her life.
She related so deeply to Elphie. Maybe she wasn’t an outcast, but she knew the pain of never quite fitting in, of being painted as something she wasn’t. Everyone expected her to be just like Aria, another snotty rich girl from the Island, with a golden spoon in her mouth and daddy’s wallet in her grasp. But Lynn wasn’t a part of that life, just as Elphalba wasn’t involved in the life society told her she had to have.
It was no longer a song, it was a personal anthem. She, too, would defy gravity and expectations and carve out the life she deserved, full of brilliant colors and bright lights and orgasmic sex with a man who loved her. As the song progressed, she matched its journey. She cried, she laughed, she felt the addictive rush of self-empowerment. It was incredible.
When she snuck a glance out at Matthew, she could feel his pride oozing towards her. This was her moment. This was her earth shattering promise to the world.
And then came the high C, because fuck you, Aria Levens.
The song ended, and Lynn bowed her head, soaking in the applause and cheering around her. Through her lashes, she saw the look of pride on Matthew’s face as he clapped along with everyone else. Satisfied, she curtsied and left the stage. Dana was waiting with a high five and a huge hug.
“I am so fucking proud of you!” She squealed in her ear. “Oh my god, I think Aria shit herself halfway through the song. And then that note at the end, oh my god, that note. You’re incredible. You’re a star.”
Lynn was so happy, nothing could take away her elation. That moment was incredible and intoxicating, and she fucking nailed it. It felt amazing. As if she could have ever doubted, but the hunger to tear up Broadway was further solidified in her mind. This was her dream and no one, not even Aria Levens, could take it from her.
“Very impressive, Miss Viggiani. That will be hard to beat. Let’s see what Miss Levens can do.”
Lynn snorted. Let her try.
Aria took the stage with a smirk on her face. The bitch didn’t even look ruffled. Well, Dana saw her freak during Lynn’s audition and that was all that mattered. Aria could peacock all she wanted, but it wouldn’t change the fact someone had already smelled her fear.
Aria set up her phone took center stage with none of the prep that Lynn did. She looked like she was ready to kill everyone with a single glance. It was sort of creepy, actually.
The opening notes played, and Lynn’s jaw dropped. She. Was. Not.
Last year, the theater girls had a sleepover to celebrate the end of the school year. It was tradition, where the senior girls symbolically passed on the torch to the junior girls. There were lots of wine coolers, popcorn, and dirty movies. On the list was Nine starring Daniel Day Lewis and Penelope Cruz, a saucy movie about an aging director. Penelope Cruz’s scene was one of the sexiest in the movie, and they spent all night crawling over one another while cooing, “I love you, Guido!”
And this bitch was already sliding around the floor, hands in her hair, and singing about how badly she wanted “Guido.” And it looked an awful lot like Lynn’s Ophelia monologue from the previous set of auditions.
That. Bitch.
Aria was pure sex on the stage, rubbing herself and moaning, which, Lynn noted, was entirely inappropriate for high school. And, she further noted, every last innuendo was aimed directly at Matthew. Every tit grab. Every ass grab. Every moan.
Lynn’s throat turned to cotton. It was impossible to separate fiction from reality because she had witnessed Aria’s flirting winks and hair twirls in class. As Aria spun around the stage, and the boys in the audience grew louder with hoots and hollers, hot jealousy poured through Lynn’s veins.
Matthew was completely captivated. His hands were clasped under his chin, his leg twitching, and he was glued to the stage. Did he look at her like that while she was getting ready to soar off the stage?
The sex appeal of A Call from the Vatican was undeniable. And, Lynn grudgingly admitted, applicable given the play they were auditioning for. But who did she think she was kidding? She blatantly ripped off Lynn’s monologue and was practically masturbating on stage.
Dana couldn’t work her jaw, either, until th
e music finally ended and all the boys and some of the girls leapt to their feet for thunderous applause and cat calls. Aria soaked up every second of it with her nose in the air. She sauntered off stage and flashed a shark-like smile to Lynn and Dana, and then winked at Matthew.
Lynn’s Matthew.
And that asshole, her asshole, actually stood and clapped as she took her seat. What. The. Actual. Fuck.
“Wow!” He said, and then whistled loudly to quiet everyone. “Thank you, Miss Levens, for that … interesting audition. Very nice vocals. You certainly met the challenge Miss Viggiani presented!”
Lynn kept her face pristinely clear, but in her head, she was using every nasty word she could think of and hurled them like arrows at the man she had previously liked to fuck. Oh, he was going to pay for this shit later. She would make sure of that.
“That was … ah.” Dana flailed her hands around in shock and finally just let them fall into her lap. “I got nothing.”
“Yeah.” Lynn nodded. She was afraid to talk because of the volcano smoking within her. “Yeah.”
“I mean, that can’t even be school-appropriate. She was like two inches away from fucking herself on stage. What the hell?”
“I … yeah.” Lynn knew, too, that Aria was dreaming of fucking Matthew in those moments where she was all hot and bothered. This wasn’t a love letter to their director, it was a slutty promise. And that shit was not okay.
“Okay.” Matthew cleared his throat. “Next up, this should be good, is Mr. Smith.”
Aria whooped and cheered, still looking smug as hell, tossing her hair around and grinning like an idiot to the crew around her. She clapped loudly and yelled out, “Go Brad!”
Brad mimicked a few tap dance steps, spun around in a circle, and bowed low. “Thank you, peons, thank you, thank you.” And then he rubbed his hands all over his chest and moaned loudly.
Matthew rolled his eyes and cleared his throat. Aria, on the other hand, clapped wildly and pumped her fist.
“I’m going to throat punch her if she doesn’t sit the hell down,” Dana muttered. “This shit is embarrassing.”
Lynn looked over at the drawing on Dana’s sketchpad. It was of Aria, impaled on a stiletto. She snorted in laughter and had to cover her mouth.
Brad theatrically cleared his throat with his hands over his heart, in a very Matthew way. “I’ll wait, guys.”
Dave whooped.
“So, I don’t have any music for this, because I’m not a goddamn professional like these hoes up here—“
“Fuck you!” Aria called out. Still grinning.
Lynn sunk into her seat and covered her face. This was a nightmare. Maybe she shouldn’t even do this goddamn show. There was no way she could endure this if Aria made lead. None. It was suicide.
Matthew stood and clapped his hands. “Guys, I appreciate the humor, but let’s keep in mind that this is an audition. Please be professional.”
“Sorry, Mr. F.” Brad shook his arms out. And sang Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. To his credit, he acted out the entire thing and was funny as hell, but it was still Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.
Dave followed. With the alphabet. His range, though, was surprising. Even Dana clapped afterwards and cheered for him.
The rest of the audition was much tamer. No one else fucked the stage or sang children’s’ songs acapella. The choir sent out their best people, who slowly chipped away the hard exterior Lynn was developing about the entire production.
But then there was Aria. Always fucking Aria.
Once everyone was finished, Matthew thanked them and said callback auditions would be held the following afternoon. “Be on the lookout for the list tomorrow after lunch. We’ll be running through songs from Spring Awakening, so be prepared for that. Callbacks will only be for leads, so don’t give up just yet if you don’t make the list. There are plenty of roles to fill, and they will all be a lot of fun to play.”
“I feel like I need brain bleach.” Dana packed her things and stretched. “That was … painful.”
“Not all of it.” Lynn didn’t move. She and Matthew were going to have some words once everyone cleared out. Screw whoever was following him. This needed to be handled immediately. If she went home like this, she’d probably burn the whole house down. “I mean, there were a lot of good ones.”
“True. And then a lot of … not.” Dana shrugged. “Let’s go get cheese fries.”
“I’ll meet you there. I need to talk to Mr. Flint first.” Dana pursed her lips to make an oooo sound. Lynn shook her head. “Not like that.”
“No?” Dana pouted. “I mean, you haven’t said anything, but I was hoping you were just holding out on me, because wow, can he rock a slouchy beanie …”
“Shh!” Lynn swatted at her. “And no. I have some time commitments tomorrow, so I need more information about the callbacks.”
“Ah, because you will totally have one.” Dana nodded and trudged through the rows of seats. “I’ll save you a seat!”
Lynn waved and collected her things, trying to wait patiently as everyone meandered around the auditorium, talking. It at least gave her a chance to work out what exactly she was going to say, because she didn’t want to scare Matthew off with her crazy. But she did want to scare him off Aria Levens.
Because, apparently, he had a type. That type may have been her, but Aria took it and ran.
Aria was the last of them to leave, spending ridiculous amounts of time fawning over their director. The bitch knew exactly what she was doing, because she kept throwing shade in Lynn’s general direction. Finally, he sent her away, with a promise to have the callback list out the second the lunch bells started ringing.
Lynn didn’t even bother watching her leave, just waited until the doors slammed shut. Once everything was completely quiet, she stood in front of her lover, who was dutifully sorting through his notes, like he had no idea what had just transpired before him.
Never before in her life, not even with her horrible parents and rivalry with Aria, had she felt this angry and out of control. She tried to be kind to herself; things were really stressful and there was someone out there stalking her and Matthew, threatening to ruin her life. But. But. There was an anger so profound within her, she was actually terrified.
“So.”
He smiled brightly at her, and it hurt her heart. “You were incredible. That high C! Lynn, I had no idea you could hit notes like that. You blew everyone out of the water.”
“Everyone but Aria, it seems.” She fought to keep her voice level, but it wasn’t working. “That was interesting.”
“A tad inappropriate.”
“A tad? Seriously?”
Matthew looked up at her, face scrunched up. “Are you okay?”
“Am I okay?” She hissed.
“Okay,” he smiled. “You’re repeating everything I say, so I’m going to go with no.”
“Yeah. Go with no.”
He paused and laughed quietly until she scowled so intensely he shut his mouth. “Look, it was incredibly inappropriate. She knew exactly what she was doing, everyone could see that. But, it was also topical to the play. I can’t tell her what to audition with.”
Lynn bit her lip and instantly hated herself for the tears welling in her eyes. “You looked like you enjoyed it.”
“Oh, oh Lynn.” He cupped her face and kissed her lightly. “No. Nothing like that, I swear. She isn’t even my type, and I have you. Remember? I love you. She’s a very talented girl. The end. I have to very visibly not play favorites, remember? I swear, that’s all I was doing.”
Inside, she crumbled and the tears breeched her lids. “It’s just so shitty to sit back and watch, and know that she’s practically eye-fucking you while humping the stage and she’s so goddamn conceited and I just don’t think I can handle her for an entire show, Matthew.”
He kissed her tears as they fell. “I’m so sorry, Lynn. I hate this, too. I hate seeing the stress it has you under. I’d strangle this as
shole in a minute if I knew who it was.”
“I just hate it so much. I miss you. I hate hiding. How am I supposed to deal with her for an entire rehearsal?”
His kiss was warm and tender. “I’m always here. I know we can’t physically be together like we want, but know that everything I do in this theater is for you. Aria can slut it up as much as she likes. You, not anyone else, are my girl.”
The jealousy monster retreated to its cave, but for how long, Lynn wasn’t sure.
PART THREE
chapter four
MATTHEW
He came back from taking a piss and found another slip of paper on his desk. Matthew froze in his doorway for a moment while his mind tried to process what he was looking at. This wasn’t an episode of Punk’d (did they even make that show anymore? He never had a chance to watch television) and there were no whispers of camera crews wandering around campus. So this had to be another note from the asshole. He forced his legs to carry him to his desk like nothing was out of the ordinary just in case someone was watching. Because, if he was a betting man, he’d bet someone was indeed watching.
And if losing half his savings in Vegas three years ago taught him anything, it was that he was very much a betting man.
He sat down and tugged at his beard. The paper was folded neatly into a square and completely blank on the outside, but it wasn’t the outside he was afraid of. Surging through his veins was the thick desire to crumple it up and hurl it in the trash without ever reading it, without giving whatever asshole this came from the satisfaction of knowing they got to him.
At the same time, he needed to know. Not just for his peace of mind, but for Lynn.
At least the note was too small to contain photographs … unless it was a promise of photographs. He couldn’t omit the chances this person was psychotic enough to lead him on a scavenger hunt through the school to find photos or video of him and Lynn fucking.
Matthew made a mental note to ask her how she felt about being filmed. For research.
He looked around for any scrap of evidence left behind, but all this mystery asshole left was the note. They had to know his schedule to drop it off when he wasn’t in the room. This was one of his work periods, the one he usually spent hiding in the teacher’s lounge, which meant the stalker either got lucky, or knew his routine. Knowing his routine was creepy as fuck.