Complicate Me

by M. Robinson

  A part of me knew she did it on purpose. She wanted to provoke some kind of emotion out of me, wanting to make sure I noticed her changing.

  When I called her out on it she said she wanted to find her own way, her identity, outside of us boys. Or some shit like that, I stopped paying attention after she pissed me off saying she was going bikini shopping with her mom that weekend.

  All of our families were pretty well off. Not to sound conceited, but none of us had to work, that's just how it was. Alex chose to work, she asked her parents for a waitressing job at their restaurant and they excitingly jumped on it.

  Again, we didn’t discuss it. Not even when we were at our abandoned house. When I asked her why she hadn’t mentioned it to me, she said it slipped her mind. The truth was she knew I wouldn’t like it and she didn’t want to fight with me. We had been bickering enough. I didn’t understand why she wanted to spend most of her summer working when we could have been hanging out, exactly how we always had. That was the point of summer, to get to spend more time together and do whatever we wanted.

  She decided to work full time, as in forty hours a week, basically working every day, and long ass eight-hour shifts. We spent most of our time surfing or hanging out at the restaurant while she worked. At times, it felt like nothing had changed. Other than the fact that she took our orders and served us food, always serving me first, and I would be lying if I said I didn’t love the fact that she fed me. Sometimes without me even putting in an order.

  “My feet hurt,” she whined, laying down on the blankets and pillows of our abandoned house. She had worked another eight-hour shift and it was already almost nine o’clock, her curfew was soon.

  “You should quit,” I simply stated, grinning and putting her feet in my lap to rub them.

  She giggled, “No.” She hated her feet touched, ticklish to no end.

  I massaged them anyway. “Anything interesting happen today?” I asked.

  “You would know, you spent the entire day in there,” she mocked in a condescending tone, so I tickled her foot.

  “Stop!” she shouted, laughing. I went back to rubbing them, prepared for the next sassy remark.

  “Maybe you should get a job.”

  “Nah, then who would feed me?”

  She grinned.

  “No funny stories?”

  “Nope. Nothing I can think of, ask me again when I’m not so tired,” she yawned.

  “You work again tomorrow?”

  “Why do you ask when you already know?”

  “That’s it.”

  I dropped her feet and made my way to her ribs, where I knew she hated. She thrashed, screaming and laughing all at the same time. I sat on her thighs and gripped her wrists, placing them above her head. She whipped around a few more times to no avail and finally gave up, laughing too hard to fight. I laughed too. She was contagious. We both found our bearings and it was then that I realized our compromising position, and by the look in her eyes she did, too.

  I smiled, looking down at her while she was gazing up at me with a look that I couldn’t quite read. There was emotion behind her eyes and it was the first time I had sincerely seen her guard come down since before. I pulled her hair out of the way to see her face. It did it to me every time. My hand caressed the side of her cheek and I fucking knew I was sending the wrong message, goddamn it, I couldn’t help myself.

  I grabbed the back of her neck and brought her up to me, she came effortlessly. Her lips were just as I remembered, if not fucking better. Tasting of cherry flavored lip-gloss, and it stirred my dick in ways that now the mere smell of it would arouse me. She knew Cherry Coke was my favorite, and at that moment I realized she did that for me. I sought out her tongue before she had the opportunity to find mine.

  She moaned in my mouth.

  Both my hands found the sides of her face and her hands found my hair, pulling at it. I took in the feel of her pouty lips while framing her face that I adored so much. Moving my hands down her body, fuck if she didn’t feel unbelievable. Her dress had hiked up and her thighs were exposed, her skin was soft and silky-smooth.

  I needed to stop…

  We needed to stop…

  I wanted nothing more than to keep going. I wanted to be with her, but shit she was barely almost fifteen, it couldn’t be this way. I wasn’t going to let desire change everything that I worked so hard to get back. Our lips were devouring each other as if we were both making a memory to take with us, not knowing when another chance like this would happen again. I wish I could describe the intensity that I found myself feeling with her in my arms. Only I couldn’t even do it justice. I couldn’t even put it into words what I felt in my heart.

  What had always been there.

  It overpowered me. This was the third time I let it take control and a huge part of me wanted to throw caution to the wind and just go with it.

  I didn’t.

  I had enjoyed the sensation of her lips against mine one last time before I pulled away and she whimpered at the loss.

  “Alexandra,” I breathed out, inches away from her mouth. My forehead placed on hers with my hands holding me up on the sides of her face.

  She immediately opened her eyes. They appeared dark and dilated. It was the first time I had called her by her whole name.

  “Lucas,” she panted back, luring me in again. I softly pecked her lips, rubbing mine back and forth on hers.

  “Please,” she huskily pleaded, her voice soft and torn.

  What was she asking for?

  Did she even know?

  “What do you—”

  Her cell phone rang, cutting me off, both of us jumped at the sound with me flying off, and her reaching for her phone.

  “Mom,” she answered. “Yeah no, I know. I know, Mom, I’ll be home soon. Okay love you, too.” She hit end and sat up against the wall as our eyes locked from across the room.

  Neither one of us said anything. Our intense gazes spoke for themselves.

  “I gotta go,” I said, breaking the silence.

  He nodded. “I’ll drive you home.”

  “Okay.” I got up first and he quickly followed.

  We rode in dead silence on the short ride back to my house. He parked his truck out in front but didn’t turn off the motor, the diesel engine vibrated beneath me.

  Or maybe that was my body that shuddered?

  “I’ll pick you up in the morning,” he announced, breaking the silence.

  “You don’t have to.” Most of the time, he was the one who dropped me off and picked me up from work.

  “I want to.”

  “I’ll see you in the morning.” I opened the door about to step out, but he gripped my arm making me turn to face him.

  “Sweet dreams,” he smiled, lovingly.

  “You too.”

  I made my way up the steps to the front door and then to my bedroom. I looked out my window, knowing he was still there. Once he left, the wind around me stayed, the emotions and confusion wrapped around me, engulfing me.

  The hurricane left.

  Except this time…

  It took me with him.

  A few weeks went by. The boys were surfing, but it was around the time they would be heading back soon.

  Hungry.

  I put all their orders in and went to take care of the new table that was outside on the deck. Amber said it was a party of one, so I carefully placed a glass of water, chips and salsa on the tray with my eyes intently watching the movement of the glass. I hated using this damn thing.

  It wasn’t the tray this time, just my plain ol’ clumsiness as I accidentally hit the glass, knocking it over and into the customer's lap.

  “Crap! I’m so sorry!” I ran to get more napkins and when I came back he stood, wiping off all the water from his board shorts. It was then that I noticed how tall he was, as tall as my boys.

  He hovered above me. “It’s okay, accidents happen,” he said, sitting back down and looking up at me for the first time.<
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  He seemed around my age, bright green eyes and blond hair, fair skin. A dimple on each side of his cheeks, I noticed them and he wasn’t even smiling. The complete opposite of Lucas, but I still found him very attractive.

  I blushed when I realized I hadn’t stopped staring at him. “Sorry.” I bowed my head, cleaning up the mess from the table and handing him the napkins. “Your lunch is on me.”

  “That’s not necessary.” His voice was deep, also like the boys. With a crooked grin exposing the dimples in his cheeks, catching me off guard, he asked, “What’s your name?”

  My hand wiped small circles on the clean spot while I tried like hell to regain composure. My name? What was it? I could only think of one thing. “Half-Pint!” I yelled out in realization.

  My new friend laughed a cute, raspy laugh while I felt the crimson burn in my cheeks, knowing they were visibly glowing.

  “I think you misunderstood. I was asking for a name, not a measurement.”

  I felt the red color leaving my face when I laughed, too. “Yeah, sorry. Everyone calls me Half-Pint.”

  “Cole, Cole Hayes,” he nodded with an extended hand and the same boyish grin, exposing the cute little dents in his cheeks again.

  “Alex, my name’s Alex,” I reaffirmed as my small hand slipped into his. I could still feel the damp, wrinkles in his palms from surfing in salt water all day. It felt like Lucas’s hand. The unfamiliar handshake was a nice change of pace. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d shook someone’s hand. Maybe the Pastor from church? This handshake was different. It was nice. I let my hand linger in his while the name Cole rolled silently off my tongue.

  “Alex? What’s it short for?”

  “How do you know it’s short for anything?” I questioned with my hand on my hip, rag in hand, still holding his hand, or was he holding mine? I think we both held the grasp.

  “You’re too pretty to have a boy name.”

  That’s when I pulled my hand away. That’s when I tried to be cool, keep my eyes from expanding, and reel in the crimson burning my nose, hoping like hell he didn’t notice.

  “That color of red looks really nice on you,” he acknowledged in a teasing tone.

  I grinned, peeking up at him through my lashes and catching my bearings. “Alexandra, Alexandra Collins.”

  He smiled, big and wide. It lit up his entire face. “Well then see that’s a beautiful name, it fits you. Nice to meet you, Alexandra Collins.”

  I nodded, not being able to form the words to describe what his flirty banter did to me.

  “You from around here?” he asked, leaning back into his chair with his arms casually placed on the sides.

  “Yeah born and raised. My parents actually own this place.”

  “I’m here on vacation. Well actually my parents just bought a beach house a few miles down the road so I’ll be here every summer until I go away to college, I guess.”

  “I know,” I blurted out, immediately shaking my head in astonishment of my crappy flirting skills.

  His eyes widened, surprised, making my belly flutter and my palms sweaty.

  “No, I mean I know you’re not from around here. I would remember you.”

  He grinned, all knowing.

  “No… not in that way… I mean… just in general…” I stuttered. “You know because I live here… and it’s a small town… and everyone knows everyone… not in a stalker… crazy girl kinda way…” I sighed from my own mumbled banter. “I’m going to stop talking now.” Highly embarrassed with my babbling.

  “How old are you?” he replied amused.

  “I’ll be fifteen in a few months. You?”

  “I’ll be sixteen in a few months. Freshman?”

  “Going to be. Sophomore?”

  “Soon to be,” he admitted at the precise moment his head cocked to the side and his eyes scanned my body. For the first time, I felt like the center of someone’s world, someone besides my boys.

  He smiled with a dimply grin. “I like fresh meat.”

  “Me too, motherfucker,” Lucas roared from behind me, making me spin so fast it may have caused whiplash. I should have known better, but I guess I was gluten for punishment. I saw the look in his eyes. The eye of the storm stood before me, but this time it wasn’t directed at me.

  It was directed at Cole.

  This wouldn’t be the first time and trust me when I say, it damn well wouldn’t be the last.

  He put his arm around my shoulders, tugging me into his body. I immediately placed my palm on his chest in a calming gesture. It usually worked, and for the first time. It didn’t. “Bo,” I softly warned as I looked up at him with pleading eyes.

  He grinned not paying me any mind with his intent stare focused solely on Cole. “Let’s get one thing straight so we don’t get off on the wrong foot or anything. You already made an asshole of yourself on your board the other day. But seeing as you clearly don’t know the rule of cutting another man’s wave, it’s the same as fucking with another man’s girl,” he paused to let his words sink in. “We clear?” he challenged with raised eyebrows and a confident demeanor.

  I took a deep breath while shaking my head. If I hadn’t been embarrassed enough before, this definitely took the cake.

  “She your girl?” Cole responded with not a hint of intimidation in his voice.

  “Damn straight,” Dylan declared, standing beside Lucas. I knew Jacob and Austin weren’t far behind.

  “Alex here is off limits,” Jacob added, his arms folding over his chest, walking up next to me.

  See? Told you.

  I never wished for the ground to swallow me whole as much as I did in that second.

  Cole stood tall, firm, and wide. Not backing down in the least, and I swear I thought this boy must have a death wish or something. No one squared off to my boys.

  No one.

  He didn’t falter. “Well seeing as Alexandra here didn’t tell me she was off limits.” He arched an eyebrow. “Or that she was your girl,” he retorted only looking at Lucas, who I swore was ready to jump over the table and pounce him like a lion. The only reason he didn’t was because I was still firmly placed on his side. He wouldn’t have let me go even if I wanted him to.

  “Until Alexandra tells me otherwise, I’ll be seeing her around,” he added once again, emphasizing my name like he knew it would piss Lucas off.

  He provoked him.

  I didn’t understand at the time what happened, other than normal testosterone fueling through the air. I realized later that this is where the animosity between Lucas and Cole began, this is where the line was drawn and I had to choose a side. I didn’t. I couldn’t. I would spend years trying to remain in the middle, neutral to both of them. At least I thought I did. Lucas never saw it that way, saying I always leaned toward Cole.

  He backed away, but not before he flaunted a smartass smile for the boys and then a kindhearted one for me. If I noticed it, I knew damn well my boys did, too.

  Especially Lucas.

  Cole left, Austin sneering as he walked past him. I watched him leave with scornful eyes, and anger quickly replaced the embarrassment that I felt in my core. I was livid, and as more minutes passed it only added fuel to the fire I felt for the boys.

  Particularly Lucas.

  I instantly pushed off of him. He staggered a bit and looked at me like I was crazy. The eye of the storm now directed at me. I didn’t care. For the first time, I let my emotions get the best of me and they would each hear the wrath of my reaction.

  “Who the hell do you think you are?”

  Their eyes widened and their faces frowned, a domino effect of confusion and shock from my outburst.

  “This. Ends. Now. Do you understand me? All of you?” I shouted while putting my hands on my hips, coming to an upright position to accent my pissed off composure.

  “Half-Pint,” Austin mumbled.

  “No.” I fervently shook my head. “Don’t Half-Pint me. I’m sick of this. There is not ONE boy in
this town that will even talk to me. Not one! They’re all scared of you, and it’s not fair. How dare you embarrass me in front of him?”

  Lucas scoffed, “Who the fuck cares about him?”

  “I do!”

  His eyes narrowed at me with hurt and sadness all in one.

  “I want a friend. I want a guy friend outside of you. Outside of all of you.” I glared at each of them, one right after the other. “He didn’t do anything wrong, he was friendly and being nice. He wasn’t hurting me for you to act like that. For any of you to act like that. I’m a big girl. I’m going to be fifteen in a few months and you keep treating me like I’m five, I’m over it. I can make my own decisions. I don’t need any of you to babysit me or tell me what to do.” I stood taller, clenched fists at my sides.

  Lucas mirrored my stance and Dylan reached out for me.

  I backed away, placing my finger out in front of me. “No! I’m not kidding. You can all do whatever the hell you want. You can date. You can kiss. You can even have sex! And I don’t say a damn thing. I have accepted that you’re growing up, and I’m still there for you when you need me. I’m not going anywhere. I will always be your Half-Pint, but you can’t do this to me anymore. It’s not fair,” I argued, my trembling voice breaking. My throat burned and tears crept into my eyes so I blinked them away, folding my arms over my chest to keep from shaking.

  “Fine,” Jacob stated.

  “Fine what?” I snapped.

  “I understand where you’re coming from.” He cleared his throat like it pained him to say that. “But. We’re doing it to protect you, Half-Pint, that’s all we ever do. It’s not coming from a bad place. Boys are assholes and they fucking suck. Do you understand that?”

  I shrugged, not wanting to admit that he was right. Instead I met Lucas’s heated glare, hoping that he realized he was one of those boys, and by the look on his face he knew what I thought.