Light as a Feather

by Cameron James

  “Why is everyone up so early?” he asked, Max laughed as he turned his head to look at Cameron.

  “We’re dancing.”

  “Ugh.” Cameron moaned, “I’m going back to bed.” He said, I laughed more as Max nodded and pulled his phone out of his pocket.

  “We’re not taking you until ten. Go back to bed, get some more sleep.” He said nodding to me, I began to nod with him. “It’ll be fine.”

  “It’ll be fine.” I repeated then I stood from the table, I walked around the table to the door, then went back, wrapping my arms around Max’s shoulders, he laughed and rubbed my hands as I hugged him.

  The drive to school really wasn’t that long. My case had been packed for a number of days, it had been stood in the corner of my room, just there.

  It wasn’t too full, Max had pointed out with me returning on Saturday’s I only really needed a week worth of clothes at a time, so I had packed all my dance wear and training gear and some clothes to wear out of hours. We’d packed every pair of flat ballet pump I had that still fit, and Max had taken me to Cory’s shop to buy another pair, and a new leotard. Cory had given me them for free, as he was so proud of me for getting into the National Ballet School.

  “Are you ready for this?” Max asked, as he parked up the car, I took a deep breath in, then I began to nod.

  “Let’s do this.” I said,

  “You heard him, let’s do this.” Cameron said, opening the passenger door. Max looked at me over his shoulder as Cameron got out of the car.

  “You sure?”

  “As sure as I can be right now.” I said, then opened my own door. I saw Max smile at me as he also got out. I took my suitcase out of the boot, then walked in front of them towards the reception. The receptionist seemed happy as I stepped through the automatic doors, she seemed to prepare herself, poising her hands above the box with multiple folders in.

  “Good morning. Welcome to your first year.” She said her voice light and cheerful, I laughed softly as I walked closer to the reception desk. “Name please?” she asked, I swallowed.

  “Jacob Kennedy.” I replied, she nodded flicking through the folders until she smiled.

  “Kennedy, Jacob. Fantastic.” She said then lifted the folder out, she handed it to me then didn’t let it go. “Inside is your code of conduct, your uniform, correct attire, and rules and regulations. Your room number is on the front and your key is inside. Any questions?” she asked, I shook my head then looked at Cameron and Max over my shoulder.

  “I don’t think so.” I said, they both agreed.

  “If you need anything just ask.” She said happily then released the folder, I took it from her reading the little sticky note that had my name and room number on. I waited at the second set of automatic doors. Reaching in my folder for my key, I tapped it against the door and it opened.

  I took a deep breath as Max and Cameron came to stand beside me. We walked together down the corridor and towards the number I had on my sticky note. The corridor looked almost bare, with royal red carpets and cream-coloured walls. I’d expected there to be more students with suitcases but the hallways were deserted. I couldn’t quite work out if I was early, or if I was so late that everything had started without me.

  “Relax.” Max whispered squeezing my shoulder, I nodded to him then tapped my card against the door with my number on. I pushed it open then let out a deep breath.

  It was a reasonably sized room, with two beds on the walls. The room itself was white, with light wooden floors. There was a cream-coloured shag rug in-between the two beds, and every piece of furniture was a light wooden colour.

  “It’s nice.” Max said, Cameron scoffed.

  “Nice. It’s amazing. We had five beds stuffed into a room half the size of this.” Cameron stated as he walked towards the window, he moved the light curtains to look out at the view.

  “Cameron you sound a bit bitter, my love.” Max said, I laughed as I sat on the bed closest to the window Cameron was looking out of.

  “I will be bitter. I got to know every inch of those boys in those seven years.” He said, turning to look at Max.

  “I haven’t heard you complain about that before.” He teased, Cameron winked at him then began to laugh as Max did, then they both looked at me.

  “Well?”

  “I like it.” I said nodding, “it’ll do.” I added amused, I watched as they smiled at each other.

  “You call us if ever you need to, even if it’s just to talk to us, yeah?” Cameron said, I nodded to him as I took another deep breath in.

  “And of course. I’ll see you Saturday.”

  “Of course.” I agreed grinning at Max then I stood, I hugged Cameron first. I felt as it surprised him, but he hugged me back.

  I was as tall as him now, but I’d been gaining on him since I was fifteen. He laughed into my ear as we hugged, it sounded slightly sad but I decided not to look at him, at risk of him making me cry. He squeezed me again then turned me by the shoulder, so I looked at Max. I saw him wiping his eyes as I turned, I pretended to ignore it.

  “We got you something. As a home warming gift.” He said then held a bag to me, it was a paper bag but big and square, I took it frowning at both of them. “I thought we’d get you something you need, and can use. Even if you can’t use it in school.” He said, so I took the box out of the bag, I stroked my hand over the top because I recognised the name, I lifted the lid off then covered my mouth as I smiled.

  “Thank you.” I said, then looked at Cameron and nodded, “thank you.” I repeated then ran my finger down the black pointe shoes that sat in the box.

  “Now, come here and give me a hug.” Max said, I smiled putting the box back on my bed and walking towards Max, he cuddled me tight almost lifting me off the floor as he did. I didn’t want to let him go. When he kissed my cheek, I let him go. I took a sharp intake of breath.

  “Don’t cry.” Cameron said pointing at me, I laughed instead. “We’re really not that far away. Not at all. Okay you need us; you call and we’ll be here.” Max said, I nodded then I smiled at them both.

  “I know.” I said, they smiled back at me.

  “Now, we better go. Let you get settled in.” Max said, I nodded because if I hugged them again, I most definitely was not letting them go.

  “Have fun.” Cameron said, “I’m sure you will.” He added, I nodded to him almost laughing then I sat back on my bed stroking over the duvet as they left my bedroom.

  My roommate appeared as I unpacked my case.

  I was in the wardrobe when the door opened. I closed the wardrobe door over, as the boy that had walked in closed the bedroom door. We smiled at each other. He was cute, definitely cute. He was about my height, maybe a bit taller, with black hair, which was shaved at the side and curly on the top, he had brown eyes, and his face was covered in freckles. Apparently, I liked freckles. He had big button earrings in both ears, and simply wore a hoodie and jeans. I finished looking him up and down, when he finished looking me up and down. I awkwardly pulled my t-shirt closer to my jeans as his eyes travelled back up my body.

  “Kian.” He said letting go of his suitcase and holding his hand out to me, I smiled taking his hand.

  “Jacob.” I replied, he nodded then came further into the room.

  “So, what’s your story Jacob?” he asked as he lifted his suitcase onto the other bed, and he began to unpack.

  “My story?” I asked, he nodded then waved his hand in a circular motion at me, “age, ballet history. You know.”

  “Oh I’m eighteen.” I said, he nodded. “I’ve been doing ballet since I was fourteen.” I added, only his head turned towards me. “My…” I said, “my ballet teacher adopted me.” I said, he smiled.

  “Cute.” He said nodding,

  “Yourself?”

  “I am also eighteen.” He said, then smirked at me. “Obviously.” He added, I laughed as I continued to fill my wardrobe, “I’ve been doing ballet since I was about four. I still do
n’t know fully why I started, but I’m good at it, and well I guess I enjoy it.” he said nodding, I nodded back to him. “Only four years ay?” he said, I nodded again but slower as I looked at him. “You must be a natural.” He added then winked at me, I looked down then closed the wardrobe and opened the drawers.

  Kian decided he wanted to have a shower once we were fully unpacked, so had opened the en-suite door and stated that I had to see it. It was worth it when I had, then he laughed and went in.

  I decided to use the time to sew the ribbons onto the pointes Max had given me, so I sat on my bed, after sending a text to Cameron, Max and my group to tell them I was officially unpacked. I spent most of Kian’s shower trying to thread the needle, he reappeared, his boxers on and drying his hair as I finished the first shoe. He ruffled his hair as he walked towards me, little droplets of water splattering against the mirror he walked past, then he frowned at me, I tilted my head back at him.

  “Pointes?” he asked, I nodded as he sat on his bed. “Explanation, maybe?”

  “I dance…” I said then waved my hand towards the pointes. “On pointe.” I added, he smirked at me so I shrugged. “Max, my ballet teacher slash father taught me how to, he’s been dancing on pointes since he was sixteen.”

  “Cool.” He said nodding, as I lifted the second shoe to begin sewing the ribbon on. “Must hurt.” He said thoughtfully, then he began to get dressed.

  “It does.” I replied, then I shrugged. “Or it did. Now it doesn’t hurt as much.” I said, “and my ankles are very strong.” I added, he smiled.

  “Impressive.” He said nodding then dropped a checked shirt over his head, it fell nicely over him until it stopped around the top of his thighs, he sat back on his bed to put some socks on. “We should go out.”

  “Out, where?” I asked, he shrugged at me obviously in thought as he reached for his shoes.

  “For a drink.”

  “A drink?”

  “You drink right?” he asked, I looked back at my shoe as I tied off the thread. I had drank, a couple of times with Connor, and I’d had wine with celebratory meals before today. I looked back at Kian.

  “Yeah.” I said, he nodded.

  “Well come on then, let’s go out, have some fun.” He said as he stood, he smirked at me as he held his hand out to me. “Get to know each other a little better.” He added, I laughed putting the pointes back into their box then taking his hand.

  “Hello Ladies.” Kian stated as we walked down our corridor. We’d crossed through another door that required our key card, which apparently meant that we’d crossed through to the girl’s end of the corridor. He’d said hello to every girl we’d walked past, only two had responded.

  The girl nearest to me had long blonde hair that was currently resting over her shoulder in what looked like an overly complex braid, she wore a summer dress with vertical stripes across the bust, and horizontal stripes down the skirt. She was smiling at me, when I felt like she should have been smiling at Kian. The second girl had long black hair which she was wearing down, she wore ripped jeans, with a vest top and a grey checked shirt open on top. The sleeves were rolled up to her elbows, her arms full of braided bracelets.

  “Margo.” She said, offering her hand to me, I looked at her face as she smirked at me, I took her hand shaking it once.

  “Abi.” Her blonde friend said quietly, I nodded to her as Kian grinned at them both.

  “We’re going out. For a drink. Would you lovely ladies like to join us?” he asked, Margo nodded without a moment’s thought, then she looked at Abi who looked a little more apprehensive.

  “Oh, come on Abs.” Margo said, “we need some fun before lessons start.”

  “Exactly.” Kian stated, “my thoughts exactly.” He said happily to me. I nodded back to him because that seemed to prove that he’d thought this. Margo grinned at him, as she closed their bedroom door behind them, then she began to walk with Kian who had started to walk ahead. “Well, Margo love, age and ballet history please.” Kian said, I laughed as I began to follow them as I now figured he was going to ask everyone that.

  “Eighteen.” She replied, then looked at me over her shoulder. “Of course.” She added, I laughed. “And I’ve been dancing since I was seven.” She added, Kian began to nod back to her.

  “You don’t look like the run of the mill Ballet Girl.” Kian teased, they both turned, so I also did we seemed to be looking at Abi.

  “No.” Margo said, “but I dance better than them.” she added as I turned back to look at her, she winked at me so I laughed.

  There was, conveniently a pub a few doors down from the school, which we had managed to leave without too much trouble. We took a seat in the booth with a little round table between us.

  “Now, it’s your turn” Kian said as Abi slipped into the booth, she looked at him, she appeared to be very confused.

  “For what?” she asked, Margo and Kian laughed together,

  “Age, ballet history.” Kian said happily, it made me smile.

  “Eighteen.” She said, then she frowned, “isn’t everyone in first year eighteen?” She added, I nodded as Kian waved his hand at her,

  “Yes, yes but it’s better to ask two questions, than just one. Gets us talking.” He added, Abi nodded back to him, then she looked at me, she smiled at me, so I smiled back at her.

  “I’ve been doing ballet since I could walk.” She said. “My Mum was a part of the Royal Ballet.” She said,

  “Wow.” I whispered, she grinned at me.

  “Jacob’s Dad is a ballet dancer.” Kian said helpfully, I nodded to him,

  “Really? Where did he perform?” Abi asked, I stuttered lightly,

  “He was a competition dancer. World Champion.” I said, I heard as Kian and Margo both gasped, Abi instead frowned at me,

  “So not a real ballet dancer then?” she said, I frowned straight back at her.

  “No, I think you’ll find Max is a real ballet dancer.” I replied, “he trained in a ballet school for seven years. He competed and won gold. He performs in musicals, like Billy Elliot, like Cats, and he also teaches.” I stated, Abi’s eyes narrowed at me.

  “Drinks.” Kian stated, I looked away from her and at him. “Let’s get some drinks. What do you feel like Jacob?” he asked, I didn’t quite want to shrug at him.

  I didn’t like beer. A party when I was fourteen had proven that to me, at that same party I discovered I had a liking for WKD, but I didn’t want to ask for that. I remembered Jack, a boy from the home Connor and I lived in telling us we could only drink WKD until we were sixteen, otherwise people would judge us hard for not drinking proper alcohol.

  “Coke.” Abi said simply, I looked at her then turned back to Kian.

  “Vodka in it?” He asked, I began to nod to him. “One shot or two?” he asked amused, so I smiled.

  “One.” I replied, he nodded leaving the table and going to the bar.

  “Your Dad taught you?” Margo asked me, I nodded to her. “That sounds both horrendous and amazing.” He said, I laughed.

  “He was my ballet teacher first, so it was just amazing.” I said, she frowned at me, I glanced at Abi as she was also frowning at me.

  “He adopted me.” I cleared up, Margo laughed, but it definitely wasn’t a mean laugh.

  “That’s so cool.” She said nodding to me. “Did he adopt you because you were a ballet prodigy and he felt it necessary to keep you close?” She teased, I laughed but nodded.

  “I was a threat.” I replied, as Kian returned placing a little round tray on the table then sliding the drinks to each of us.

  We were back before midnight, not because we tried to be but because it fell that way. We left Margo and Abi at their bedroom on our way back down to our own. We got ready for bed quietly, working around the bathroom without a problem or a word. He was sat on his bed in bed shorts and a bed shirt when I came out of the bedroom in my pyjamas. I sat myself on my bed, looking briefly at my phone then taking off my glasses
and resting them on the bedside cabinet.

  “I don’t agree with Abi.” Kian said as I pulled my duvet up and got into my bed, I frowned in his general direction as he was now a fuzzy shape. “I think it’s far more fun to be a competition dancer and do musicals, and everything else. If I don’t get into a company, that’s where I want to go, that’s what I want to do.”

  “When he talks about it, it sounds like it was the best time.” I said, then lay on my back looking up at the ceiling. I covered my eyes.

  “Margo said she was well out of order for saying he wasn’t a real ballet dancer.” He said, I nodded.

  “Do you like Margo?” I asked,

  “She’s cool.” He replied, I turned my head to look at him again, I tried to focus in on him it didn’t really work.

  “No, I mean. Do you like her?” I asked, he laughed.

  “Jacob.” He said, I nodded. “I’m gay.” He said, I covered my eyes again as I smiled. “Do you like her?” he asked, I shrugged, I heard him laugh. “Goodnight Jacob.” He said, I sighed.

  “Goodnight.”

  “Welcome First Years.” Our technique teacher Madame Rose said as we stood in lines against the barres. The boys were on the middle two barres, whilst the girls were on the barres near the mirrors, all of them in raspberry coloured leotards and skirts, their hair all perfectly placed into a bun.

  I’d spent a lot of Madame Rose’s opening speech looking around the room at everybody in my class. I’d just about started listening again as she began the warm-up. My eyes followed her as she walked around the room whilst we warmed up. She fixed people as she walked past them, arm placement, leg placement, turnout.

  Everyone had something to fix, then she started up the boy’s barre. I didn’t dare turn around as we moved through the positions of the feet and the arms. I felt my heart quicken as she stopped next to me.

  “Jacob.” She read off her clipboard, I turned my head to look at her, as I figured since she’d addressed me, I could look at her. “Can you wear contacts?” she asked, I felt my eyes drop then I began to nod, even though I’d never thought about it beforehand. “Okay. From next week I will expect you not to be wearing your glasses during dance lessons.” She said, I nodded again. “And, I feel you should spend any frees, or spare time in the gym.” She said, I met her eyes.