Light as a Feather

by Cameron James

  “No. In fact I’d like to learn as much as I can about you.” Elijah said, then fastened the button on the pair of ripped jeans he’d stepped into. He then sat to take off his pointe shoes.

  We left the campus to find a coffee shop, which was unsurprisingly easy. We walked through the queue all getting a cold drink then taking a seat on a little round table, so our knees bumped against each other.

  “How is it then?” Kian asked as he stirred his frappé with the straw. “Australia?” he added, Elijah smiled as he scooped cream out of his cup with his own straw.

  “It’s amazing. It’s like a completely different world. The ballet is something else, and I’m weirdly good at hip-hop.” He said raising his eyebrow, Kian laughed.

  “Hot though?”

  “Sometimes. I’ve come to fully appreciate air conditioning. There was only once, it was in February or something stupid like that, it was so hot, something like eighty-six degrees… which is about thirty here. We were all soaked through and not even in the fun way.” He said quirking his eyebrow at me, it sent a shiver down my spine.

  “How thankful are you to be back?”

  “It’s freezing.” Elijah snapped, it made me laugh, he smiled at me so I took a sip out of my mixed berry cooler.

  “Are you going to see…”

  “Mr. Nurse Man? I am.” Elijah replied, they both laughed so I frowned at him. “My Dad.” He said, “my Dad’s a nurse. Granted not my nurse because that’d be weird, but, a nurse.” He said then nodded to Kian, Kian nodded back.

  “Dad didn’t know I was coming back until yesterday morning, then he got all annoyed because he’d have paid for the flight and he’d have sorted everything out. I told him I’d see him soon, and hung up on him.” He replied as he rolled his eyes.

  “And my tutor, my God. Madame Florence was so pissed at me, because our scholarship auditions are literally the week after Spring break, and I decided to come here.” he said grinning, it made me laugh so he looked at me. “Enough about me. It’s your turn. Jacob, tell me all about you.” He said, I stuttered lightly, then looked at Kian for help. He shook his head at me drinking from his frappé, so I looked back at Elijah, as he grinned at me.

  I lay looking towards Kian’s bed, which I knew would be empty. I hadn’t even looked at the time but I knew his bed was going to be empty, I yawned burying my head into my pillow before reaching for my glasses, putting them on then looking down at Elijah as he lay on the floor between our beds. His arms were up above his head as he scrolled through his phone, until he saw me.

  “Good morning.” He said softly, then he sat up, looking at Kian’s bed. “He still goes for his Saturday run.” He said as I rolled onto my back, resting my hands on my head.

  “I don’t know how he does it. I have minimal motivation to get on doing that, or anything at this time of morning.” I said, he laughed as I closed my eyes.

  “I’m sure.” He replied, “no problem setting up camp though.” He said, I opened my eyes turning my head to frown at him, he grinned at me nodding towards my bed so I looked down. “Unless it’s for me of course. Then I am flattered.” He said resting his hand on his chest. I sat up, making him laugh almost instantly.

  “I just need to pee.”

  “Bullshit.” He said amused, “it’s okay, don’t be embarrassed.” He cooed at me as he looked back down at his phone. “It’s why Kian runs. Purely to run off the erection.” He said, a little smirk at his phone so I got out of my bed, going into the en-suite, I turned to look at him before closing the door. “I won’t tell anyone.” He whispered then he winked at me, so I turned away seeing my blush in the mirror above the sink.

  “I hear you dance en pointe.” Elijah said, as he picked up a tote bag. I nodded back to him almost frowning as he grinned at me. “Want to join me?” He asked, reaching into his tote bag and showing me his pointes, I began to nod, then I stood.

  “I just need to get changed.” I said, he laughed.

  “Don’t worry. You don’t have to wear your uniform with me. I’m going like this.” He said, so I looked down him. He wore joggers and a vest top. “My theory is, if you can lift your leg, you’re wearing the right clothes.” He said amused, I smiled back at him. “Come on.” He added, holding his hand out to me.

  I smiled at it, then went under my bed getting the box with my pointes out before taking his hand and letting him lead me to a studio. He let us in, then sat in the middle of the floor, so I went to sit beside him.

  "Oh, black pointes, you're a man." He said, I laughed shaking my head at him.

  "My Dad brought me them, as a replacement for my practically destroyed ones."

  "Practically destroyed." He repeated as he got his own out of his bag. "How many have you destroyed then?" He asked amused as he twirled the ribbon of his pink pointes up his ankles.

  "Many." I said amused, "there's my first pair from when I was fourteen, they were worn through, my second pair, they died when I was just sixteen, Connor and I spray painted them, made them a rainbow." I said, he laughed,

  "Amazing." He said amused,

  "Third, fourth, and the last were my fifth." I said, he laughed.

  "I used to wear through a pair at least once every two months." He said laughing, "we'd train every day, and nine times out of ten I was en pointe. It got to a point of being very rare I'd be in flat pump." He shrugged lightly. "But I love it." He said, I nodded.

  "I love it." I agree as he stood,

  "So, come on, show me what you've got." He said, I stood with him, watching as he searched through his phone, then looked towards the speaker, I laughed when Faith began.

  "I was not expecting that." I said, he shrugged.

  "Good warm up song, good fun." He said, then he walked back to me, he rose onto his pointes, so I rose onto mine. He rose his arms into fifth, I laughed and copied. "Ready?" He whispered, I grinned nodding to him as he lowered himself, and prepared to pirouette,

  "So ready." I said, Elijah raised his eyebrow at me then nodded in time to the beats.

  “So, how did you and Kian meet?” I asked, as we sat on the floor. He was twirling the ribbons around his fingers, it had started in an effort to take them off, but he seemed to give up with that.

  “I was his first Pas De Deux partner.” He said then he looked at me and grinned, “and his first girlfriend.”

  “Really?” I said, almost in a laugh. He nodded back.

  “We’re friends now because we dated then, we didn’t date because we were friends first, and like, I’m pretty happy with it. Considering Kian turned out to be gay.” He said grinning, it made me smile.

  “Why did you break up?” I asked, Elijah laughed softly.

  “We just did. We were thirteen. It wasn’t anything serious. We didn’t break up because I transitioned, and we didn’t break up because Kian came out. It was just, natural. I suppose.” He shrugged at me, then he smiled so I smiled back.

  "How did you know you where?" I asked, he laughed as he untied his ribbons.

  "It was hard, I'm never going to downplay that. I remember being hell-a confused because every aspect of my life was wrong except for ballet.

  Ballet was my serene. I was unhappy with everything else, but then I'd get to ballet and I'd love wearing the tutus, I loved the ballet dresses and the costumes, I loved dancing pointe." He said stroking his palm over his pointes. "I didn't get it, I thought I couldn't be Trans, I enjoyed the tutus too much."

  "So, what happened?" I asked, he laughed as he took off his shoe then started on the other.

  "It was my ballet mistress actually, she was amazing. She sat me down one day because she felt we needed to talk, and of course I did everything she asked. She told me she thought I was unhappy, and before I could protest, she stated she didn't mean in class.

  She didn't say that she thought I was Trans, she didn't say anything regarding that, all she said to me was that tutus, ballet dresses and pointe shoes are just objects. They do not determine my gender in anyw
ay shape or form. If I'm comfortable in them it does not change who I am." He said, I smiled into my knees. "Then she said, it might mean that I'm gay though." He added amused, so I laughed.

  "She was right. I am gay." He said amused, I looked at him. "And of course, pointes, tutus and ballet dresses ARE just objects. They by no means determine whether I'm a boy, or a girl. She whispered to me when I'd transitioned and I was dancing en pointe, that boys should be terrified of competing against me because I have this amazing talent that none of them have." He said, then he laughed. "Well, none of them but you." He said, so I smiled, "I still dance Pas De Deux with Kian sometimes, he likes to do it with me because I know him, and obviously he knows me. I danced with him this week, I helped him with your Pas De Deux assessment." He said laughing, I grinned. "I am not still his girlfriend." He added then looked up at me and winked.

  "You compete?" I asked, he nodded to me it was almost amused.

  "I've always competed. I usually compete against Kian. He is a bitter loser." He said laughing, so I also did, "if ever I won, he said it was because the judges knew I was Trans." He said then he grinned at me, so I smiled back. "He of course never meant it vindictively, he's my best friend he was forever taking the piss. We did a Pas De Deux from Dorian Grey in the competition we were in the summer before school. It was amazing."

  "But did you win?"

  "Of course we won." He replied, I laughed. "You don't compete?"

  "No. My Dad did. He adored competing, but because I've always said I wanted to be a ballet dancer, I wanted to dance on stage in productions, he never let me compete."

  "Have you performed before?" He asked, I nodded.

  "Besides the annual show my dance school put on. I was in a My First Ballet last year which was a lot of fun, and I perform regularly in schools with my Dad and his two best friends. They do a presentation with a dance medley, then a scientific presentation about pointes."

  "Cool." He said nodding, I nodded back to him grinning as I did. “So, am I allowed to ask why I’ve been resigned to the floor?” he said, I laughed as I looked down at my feet.

  “I came back.”

  “Where had you been?”

  “Sabbatical.” I replied, then glanced up, Elijah frowned back at me, so I frowned at him.

  “You don’t want to tell me?” he said, then he shrugged, “that’s fine.” He added.

  “I don’t know, my brain got a bit confused.” I said, then I sighed. “I began to fear that I wasn’t tall enough, or thin enough, or that I didn’t have a big enough dick.” I said, Elijah laughed it almost sounded like a cough.

  “I know what it’s like to feel like your bodies wrong.” He said, I winced. “Are you better now?” he asked, I sighed.

  “I’m getting better. I’m riding the tide.” I said in a deep breath, Elijah laughed softly.

  “I like the sound of that. Right now…” he said, his eyes sparkled when I looked at him. “I’m surfing the waves.”

  "Kian." I whispered, he hummed at me without turning to look at me, but that was okay as I was watching Elijah, ensuring he was still asleep. "Random question."

  "Sure?" He asked, although he sounded tried.

  "How likely is it that you might get back with Elijah?" I asked, he laughed it still sounded tried.

  "I love Connor, if that's what you're trying to get at." He said, I smiled.

  "It wasn't, but nice to know." I said, he looked at me,

  "It's extremely unlikely Jacob, we've been there, done that, got the t-shirt, and as I say, I'm happy with Connor. Is it because he's so touchy?"

  "A little." I said, he laughed.

  "You don't have to worry about your best friend’s heart." He said, I looked away from him. "Unless," he said, I remained looking away "Do you like Elijah?" He asked, I shushed him, he began to laugh, "Fantastic."

  ***

  "Come on, come on you need to come out with me. I am not going back to Australia before we have a drink."

  "Well good that means you'll have to stay." Kian replied as he sat on his bed, Elijah groaned at him kneeling on the end of his bed then bouncing on his knees, Kian moaned at him making me laugh, they both looked at me.

  "You'll come out won't you Jacob?" Elijah cooed at me; I bit my lip so I wouldn't laugh. "And drag this ballet bore out with us too." He added directing his attention to Kian who rolled his eyes.

  "Can Connor come?"

  "Yes." Elijah stated, then he smirked at me, "I look forward to meeting my best friend’s boyfriend." He added, I laughed. "See whether he's any competition to me." He added winking at me, I continued to laugh.

  "Do you have to ask Ash if you can come out?" Kian said, my laughter stopped instantly,

  "Oh I feel as if I've missed something." Elijah said, we both nodded to him as he frowned,

  "I'll ask Ash, but if he says I can go but can't drink, I just..."

  "Won't drink." Elijah said, he sounded appalled.

  "Elijah likes to get people drunk." Kian announced, "you've never been properly drunk, even if you've been one hundred percent intoxicated. You've never experienced being drunk with Elijah."

  "It'd seem I've got a reputation." Elijah said to me, I smiled back at him as he grinned.

  I got first hug with Connor when we found him in the, what Elijah was calling, pre-drinks bar. Margo had sworn she'd join us later but I didn't hold out hope, instead I just hugged Connor when I saw him.

  He laughed into my ear then let go off the hug and went to Kian, he kissed him then turned to look at me as if it had made him shy, I laughed shaking my head at him then I pointed at Elijah,

  "How do we begin?" I asked, Elijah grinned,

  "Pitches my love. Pitches." He said happily then grabbed my hand and walked me to the bar, we returned back to the table with two pitches of similar colours and four glasses. He poured one of the drinks into two of the glasses, and the other into the rest. "Drink up." He said, Connor and Kian did as ordered,

  "So, how does tonight go?" I asked, then laughed and took a sip out go my own glass, "drinks-wise." I added, Elijah smiled.

  "I perfected this recently, you know with calorie counting over there." He said, I smirked. "So, pitches, followed by beer and cider round. The main course is your choice of spirit drink, and as many of them as you like, followed by dessert."

  "Cocktails." Kian said, it was almost mocking, "which admittedly is my favourite part of the night." He said more to Connor who began to laugh into his glass.

  "I never had you as a cocktail guy." Connor said curiously, Kian laughed.

  "Probably the most homosexual thing about me." Kian said,

  "Hear, hear." Elijah said, I laughed.

  "Nee the ballet." Connor said, we all shouted back at him, he laughed.

  "Well, I didn't know how much I didn't want to see that." Elijah said, I laughed as we both stood watching as Connor and Kian enjoyed each other’s tonsils almost too much. "Let me get this straight." He said, I began to giggle immaturely, maybe the alcohol was going to my head.

  "My best friend, Kian, is dating Connor, who is your best friend?" He said, I nodded, "so, if your good self decides to put me out of my misery, your best friend will date my best friend, whilst I date my best friends boyfriends best friend, and you too." He said, I giggled as I nodded.

  "That was complicated." I said, Elijah laughed as he looked at me.

  "You're drunk."

  "I am not." I replied, he shook his head,

  "Spell my name." He said, turning to look at me, I laughed covering my mouth as he raised his eyebrow at me, "Go on."

  "E..." I said, he nodded "L-I-E-J-A-R." I said, he began to laugh shaking his head at me,

  "You're drunk," he accused, "they're horny and I have a full bladder. Let's move and come back for them." He said, then he nodded. "Yeah?" He asked, I nodded to him.

  "Yeah." I said as he took my hand, and made me walk. We walked pass numerous clubs that were closing, he had let go of my hand and had linked our arms, s
o our hips bumped together as we walked. "Oh my god I'm going to explode. Why does everything close at three around here?"

  "Because it's a Wednesday." I replied, Elijah growled at me so I laughed burying my head into his shoulder as he changed the direction we were walking in. Until he stopped at a staircase that was hidden behind a little wall, I frowned at him.

  "What?" He asked,

  "What?" I repeated back, so he laughed. "You needed to pee." I said, he nodded, and waved his hand towards the staircase, so I did the same, he sighed at me and climbed up a few steps until he sat, so I followed sitting beside him,

  "Go one up." He said, I didn't question him as I moved up a step, I did however begin to question him as he undid his jeans and pushed them down with his boxers. He just laughed until he touched my knee.

  "Shut up or this is never going to happen." He stated, so I zipped my mouth, he sighed, it sounded relieved then he looked at me. "It's perfectly hidden," he said, I frowned at him, "Doesn't put me on view to the entire town." He stated, I laughed, “like you shouldn't stand at the top of a hill and pee, I should seek out somewhere that doesn't require me to flash everyone." He stated, I frowned at him. "Oh and somewhere to sit down." He said grinning lightly, I laughed although I think it sounded drunk.

  "Don't you have a thing that you can use to pee with?" I asked, he cocked an eyebrow at me,

  "I have perfectly working genitals that does that for me." He said,

  "Right." I said, he began to laugh, groaning at me as he stamped his feet against the step they were on. "I meant like..."

  "Oh I know what you meant." He said, then he lifted his hips pulling his pants back up, then moving up so he was sat the step above me, I looked up at him. "You're obsessed with finding out if I have a dick, aren't you?" He said, I must've blushed so he laughed. "I know a perfectly good way to let you know." He whispered, I frowned at him, "which I'd most certainly let you do."

  “You like me, don’t you?”

  “Was that not obvious Jacob?” He replied, I laughed, “I’ve just let you sit next to me as I peed.” He added raising his arms up into the air,