The Clash (The Permutation Archives Book 5)

by Kindra Sowder

  The walls were a coffee-like cream color, more having to do with age than anything, and the furniture reminded me a lot of what Famke sat in front of in Myrtle Beach before that stronghold also fell. I had also shattered her arm with my ability, and that still filled me with a strange feeling of pride that welled in my chest at the image in my mind of her terror.

  My leg shook under the table, and my palms began to sweat at the mere mention of reliving what had happened to me at the hands of King, Nero, Valdus, and Doctor Tee. I didn’t want to, but I knew the importance of the information. Sadly, that meant this must play out.

  My eyes locked on the Band-Aid at the bend of my elbow from the IV they gave me, as well as the blood sample Doctor Aserov took to learn more about the serum. My eyes still glowed that stunning blue but was much softer now. I could see it in my reflection in the metal of the table – distorted and hazy.

  “Mila, while Madeline is working on your blood, can you tell us what happened with King?” Fairbanks asked, the tone to his voice soft and reassuring.

  I snapped out of my reverie at the sound of his voice and looked at him across the table. Concern and determination shone in his eyes and the set of his jaw as he clenched and unclenched it, obviously grinding his teeth. The sound of bone-crunching on bone was subtle, but still made me flinch on the inside. I sat there for a while, eyes locked with his deep browns as my mind raced frantically in an attempt to put it all together and form my experience into words.

  “Can’t this wait, Sergeant? Look at her,” Gaia began, “she’s not ready.”

  “She doesn’t have a choice but to be. We’re running out of…” Fairbanks started.

  “Gaia’s right,” Ryder interjected, taking my hand firmly in his. “Mila’s not ready for this. She couldn’t even get out of that bed until this morning.”

  My gaze jerked to Ryder, his profile strong and resolute past the point of stubbornness. Ajax sat coolly, leaning back in his chair and watching it all unfold before him. The quiet observer among us all, able to read others in such a way most couldn’t and most felt was magical in a way. There was no magic to it. Not like when Doctor Aserov could link with those who possessed a clairvoyant ability on occasion. There was just insight into the human condition based on years and years of observation and experience.

  “I’m fine. I can do this,” I mumbled as the others began to shout amongst each other.

  Every time something like this happened, yelling and arguing ensued. It never failed, especially when it came to me. Yes, I may be the one to lead the Fallen Paradigm into battle, but that didn’t make me fragile, and it damn well didn’t make me worthy of fighting over. If anything, they should be readily listening to me and what I felt I was capable of.

  Ajax just continued to watch, waiting for my eventual explosion when my words were completely ignored. I saw his chest rise and fall, each breath quickening with pent-up irritation and interest.

  The rising cadence of their voices turned into a jumbled mess of words and syllables.

  That only made my own frustration and rage shoot through my body. I slammed my fist into the table top, drawing all eyes to me as silence fell over the space. Ajax only grinned, as if he knew how I would react to being practically overlooked as they fought. Leaning forward, he placed his hands palm-down on the metal table and looked directly into my eyes. Neither one of us flinched when he spoke after careful consideration and appraisal.

  “Oh, she’s ready, Fairbanks. I know her well enough to know that,” he stated, his tone even. “You ready, girl?”

  Girl. He always called me that, and I only speculated why for a second before realizing he was giving me an into the discussion.

  Taking a deep breath, I sighed, “I’m ready.”

  The silence in the room was deafening as everyone settled down, Fairbanks crossing his arms over his chest as Gaia and Ryder sat on either side of me in shock at my outburst. Not like they hadn’t seen plenty of them, but there was typically an undercurrent of power underneath. There was no such thing now, which made me feel empty. There was no heat. There was no energy. There was no hum. There was just quiet. Not even a spark remained, causing doubt to surface, but I had to have faith that Doctor Aserov knew what she was doing. Caius had fallen prey to its effects, but that didn’t mean it couldn’t be reversed in my case. At least, I hoped.

  “Lay it all out for us, and don’t forget anything, you feel me?” Ajax pushed.

  He hadn’t backed away from me like the others. They had seemingly relaxed into their respective seats, but I saw the apprehension in their eyes and their posture. Each one of them seemed to fear what I may do even without my ability. And maybe that was the reason why.

  Pounding resided behind my ribcage, each beat of my heart driving my fear at reliving the experiences, but the information was pertinent enough not to matter how it affected me. I needed to get it out of my system before it had a chance to swallow me whole with terror and regret for the things I couldn’t change.

  Tears pricked at my eyes, but I pushed forward no matter how much speaking the words would hurt me. That was the only way to work past the pain.

  Ryder touched me, but I didn’t look away from Ajax’s crisp eyes. “You don’t have to do this,” he said. “It can wait.”

  I shook my head and forced my gaze away from the man who had become so much like a father to me in such a short amount of time, then into the startling green eyes of the man that meant more to me than the world. He hadn’t slept, that much I could tell. The bags under his eyes were a shocking contrast of deep purple against skin that was still slightly tanned. He was sick with worry. It was obvious in the way he looked at me, tears brimming his eyes and shining with the same ferocity of his terror. I heard it in his voice, but he wasn’t right in this instance. We had too much on the line for me to hold anything back, no matter how painful.

  “King locked me in a cage made of lead. There were no windows. Only a hole where food could be passed in and out, but I don’t remember ever getting anything. And there were speakers so I could hear them when they wanted me to. Mostly so King could belittle me, and Nero could tell me over and over again how this was my fault. And, in his own sick and twisted way, that he loved me.”

  Tears began to spill from my lids, burning more than any others I had cried before, and probably would after. Ryder’s eyes burned with an intense fire of hatred that I recognized in myself from time to time. His hand trembled around mine as he listened, and Gaia’s hands came to rest on my shoulders. I couldn’t look at anyone else but Ryder like I felt ashamed.

  “He had his scientists with Fuji-O’Hara drug me, and they only took me out of the cage twice before we got to D.C. They – Doctor Tee – injected me with a serum that would concentrate my power so they could harness it…”

  “How do you know that?” Fairbanks interrupted.

  I turned to look at him and spoke with so much passion I almost felt the warmth of it in my bones and my soul.

  “They didn’t believe I’d make it out of there,” I stated. “So they told me a lot of things they probably shouldn’t have.”

  “I can see why,” Ajax replied, staring at Fairbanks beside him. “That reactor is a beast of a machine. We still haven’t broken down everything, but we know enough of the basics.”

  “That makes sense.” Fairbanks leaned forward and folded his hands together. “Please, continue.”

  “The serum caused seizures. I think I had,” I paused, counting, “two or three while I was there. It felt like torture, especially one of the last ones. I was awake, and I remember it all. It burned. And Nero hit me.”

  My palm went up to my head, my temple, and surprise registered through me. The pressure and the sting felt fresh.

  Gaia gasped.

  “That bastard,” I heard Ryder mutter under his breath.

 
; “Some of the details are fuzzy.” I ran my fingers through my oily hair and felt myself suddenly tire. Turning to Gaia, the image of Valdus popped into my mind. “I have a brother. Valdus. King loves him. I could tell by how he treated him.”

  “Is there anything else? Anything we may be able to use?” Gaia asked.

  Looking to her, everything seemed disconnected somehow – like what they did to me left me in a state of dissociative awareness, but nothing was as it seemed. I was still foggy, and I could barely focus on anything. Just looking into Gaia’s eyes, I saw the years and years that weighed upon her. I saw our mother, whom she had always looked more like than I ever would. I had my lunatic father to thank for that. His genes had won out.

  I closed my eyes and opened them again. The feeling of disconnect had been there in the background when I awoke, and we entered the room. As we sat, it seemed that it surfaced even more the more I spoke about the experience locked away in King’s plane. It made me believe I was going insane. I touched my palm to my forehead where a headache began to twinge dully. It almost felt like an oncoming seizure, but different somehow. There was no pressure, just pain, and detachment.

  I shook my head and sighed, “No, nothing else. Not that I can remember. I think I need to lay down.”

  Ryder reached around me and gripped my shoulders tight, lifting me from the chair.

  “I told you she wasn’t ready,” Ryder spat at Fairbanks and Ajax.

  “She gave us more intel than we’ve had in days. I think that’s a win,” Ajax drawled.

  “Yeah, but at what cost?” Ryder almost yelled. “She isn’t fucking ready. Hell, her eyes still haven’t changed back.”

  I squeezed my eyes shut as searing pain shot through the right side of my head. The lights, even though there were only a couple bulbs burning, were far too bright. My body swayed slightly, but Ryder held strong, pulling me to lean against his chest while moving me along with him as he made his way to the door.

  “I’m taking her to our room.”

  “I’ll come with you,” Gaia stated.

  Her chair screeched on the floor as she pushed it back and stood, her footfalls soft as she followed us out of the room. I didn’t even bother attempting to look at the others anymore. As soon as we crossed the threshold, Fairbanks said something from within the room.

  “We’ll send the doc. Maybe she’s got this figured out by now.” His voice came much closer, practically at my back as we walked. “And what about Baker and that older man? Ruckus? Was that his name?”

  “Yeah, what about them?” Gaia asked, padding along beside me.

  “I don’t need them wandering around my facility. You keep them on a short leash until I say otherwise. Got it, kid?”

  “Sure, Fairbanks. I got it. I’ll have them guard the room or something. Now, I’m going to politely ask you to fuck off so I can help take care of my sister.”

  My gaze shot up to my baby sister, who I had just heard curse for the first time since she was able to speak. Her eyes were hard, but she never wavered as she stared at Fairbanks, keeping perfectly in step with Ryder and me. In stunned silence, I continued to watch the two while bore a hole him. He raised his hands, dark eyes flicking to me for a fraction of a second before he stepped off to the side and left my line of sight around a blind corner.

  After another moment or two, it was hard to tell for sure, we arrived at a wooden door. It was dark and contrasted against the light walls. The bottoms of my shoes – obviously brand new – squeaked against the slick tiles when I adjusted my stance. When I looked down, the mossy green of them was just dull enough to save my retinas. Gaia moved swiftly past me and opened the door, turning the nickel knob and pushing the door wide open, guiding it through the motion so it stopped just before it would hit the wall.

  While the light coming from the two lamps wasn’t overly bright, it was just bright enough to sting. I squeezed my lids shut and hissed, bringing my hand up to cover my sensitive eyes. More pain lanced through my head and nausea rippled through my belly.

  “Jesus Christ,” I gasped.

  “I’ll get the lights,” Gaia muttered.

  All I heard were her footsteps and Ryder’s breathing, altered with frustration, anger, and fear. I felt one of Ryder’s hands leave my shoulders only to come up to my forehead, his fingertips delicately – lovingly — brushing my hair away from my face. A soft click – followed by another – told me the lights were off, but I kept my eyes closed and shielded regardless. The nausea began to fade, but my legs felt as if they could fall out from underneath me. I used all the energy I could muster to hold myself up in his strong arms.

  “Come on, honey. Come lay down,” he crooned while walking steadily, pulling me right alongside him. “You’ll feel better soon.”

  “Is that a promise?” I asked as I stumbled.

  Ryder caught me, and a light chuckle left his lips, “That’s my girl. Already getting your sense of humor back.”

  I could hear the smile in his voice, which caused me to smirk. My knees met the edge of the bed. Turning, I lowered myself down with Ryder’s assistance and felt steady enough to open my eyes again. The room wasn’t what I had expected. The same mossy green on the floor in the hallway covered the walls, cream carpet below my feet. I had barely noticed the change. It was a pleasant surprise considering the lead and concrete I had grown accustomed to over the last few days.

  The comforter on the bed was the same green hue, soft and forgiving under my fingers. I caught a glimpse of Ryder’s face as he helped me lay down, slipping the shoes off my feet once I was horizontal. He looked worried, and he tried not to show it. I just knew him too well to be fooled.

  I hadn’t even heard Gaia cross the room or anyone approach the door, but when my eyes leveled with the open doorway, Gaia, John Baker, and who I assumed was Ruckus stood there and spoke in hushed whispers. John was as I remembered. Strong, capable, and lean. Dark skin that contrasted with that of my sister’s – and tall. I didn’t remember him being that tall. Of course, no one seems tall when looking at them from the ground, do they?

  The other man, Ruckus if I had to guess, was tall and stocky, with a pot belly that spoke of heavy drinking and unwise decisions. His face was solemn and ragged, beaten down by experience. He was weary too as he listened and responded quietly to Gaia and John. I still wasn’t certain what to make of either one of them.

  John’s eyes moved away from Gaia and settled on me — filled with a mixture of the same concern as well as weariness. He had seen what King could do. Hell, he was a product of his capabilities, but there were still a lot of unknowns about my condition from what I had gathered. But I knew the concern the man felt had nothing to do with me. His posture, the way he leaned into Gaia as they spoke, told me who exactly he was worried for. That was hint enough at the kind of relationship that had developed between them, but even I could admit I couldn’t decipher anything truthfully in my current state. Nothing felt real — all of it felt surreal just as it had when I writhed and bucked in Doctor Tee’s lab. I rolled onto my back, meeting Ryder’s eyes as he sat beside me on the bed, and then squeezed my lids shut as tightly as humanly possible. Dread filled me, and I was tired — so tired.

  “Something’s not right,” I whispered. “It’s all wrong. Everything is wrong.”

  “What do you mean, baby? What’s wrong?” Ryder pleaded.

  I shook my head and replied with a sob, “I don’t know.”

  Soft footfalls approached the bed, and after a hushed moment, there was the brush of fabric, and a warm hand touched my arm. Then another pressed against my forehead. I was beginning to sweat, and the air was frigid —my teeth began to chatter.

  “Is the doctor on her way?” Ryder asked in a hushed murmur.

  “Yeah, she should be here any minute,” Gaia answered. “Jesus, she’s burning up.”

>   There was a soft click, and then my eyelids were being pulled open one at a time while Gaia shined a penlight into them. Searing pain lanced through my head again, and I jerked away from her in a weak attempt to hide from it.

  “Mila? Mila, I need you to look at me,” Gaia ordered in a doctorly tone — demanding but not harsh.

  My eyes glazed over her but never focused. Just moved over her face in a blur of pale skin and blonde hair. My body felt like a lead weight, being dragged even further down by a current, and I couldn’t move my arms no matter how much I willed them into motion.

  “Mila?” Ryder exclaimed.

  I didn’t register Gaia’s movement, only the sound of her voice, barely able to make out the words she shouted toward John and Ruckus.

  “I don’t care if you have to drag her ass in here. Fucking find Doctor Aserov and bring her here, now! She’s about to seize!”

  “Are you sure?” Baker asked, his pitch almost matching Gaia’s in intensity.

  “Yes, I’m sure. Go! Find her!” I felt Gaia shift against me as everything went black, turning to face Ryder. “I’m going to need you to be strong for me, okay? You’re about to get a crash course in seizure first aid.”

  “Oh, God,” I heard Ryder choke out.

  “Don’t wimp out on me now, soldier. She’s going to need you now more than ever. You hear me?”

  I didn’t hear his reply, but I assumed he nodded because Gaia continued.

  “First, we need to turn her on her side so she doesn’t aspirate.”