The Clash (The Permutation Archives Book 5)

by Kindra Sowder

  “They’re out in the hall until I can bring you down,” he said with a grimace as if the words didn’t sound right to him at all. “You can control this. I’ll just need to teach you how.”

  Shaking, I whispered, “How do you plan to do that?”

  I squinted at him, attempting to block out even the miniscule light coming into the room that caused my head to pound like a bull ran around inside my skull. It was all too much. There was too much light. Too much sound. Too much everything. Even the clean scent of the sheet covering my legs was nauseating.

  John moved closer to the bottom of the bed, moving as quickly as he dared while keeping his footsteps light. He barely made a sound – the only thing I heard from him being his rapid heartbeat, short gasps, and a slight tap of the soles of his boots. He approached the bed and came to sit next to my feet. The pressure of the shifting weight on the mattress was slightly uncomfortable against my skin, but I pushed past it to focus on him as best I could. Sweat glistened on his upper lip, and I swore I could almost hear a drop of it slide across his skin. Squeezing my eyes shut, I shook my head to rid myself of the sound. The air that whooshed past my ears with the motion nearly sounded like a torrential wind. Something was still absent inside of me – a hollowness in my chest and belly that I recognized. I wanted to sob, believing that the procedure hadn’t done anything to solve the issue with my ability.

  “Mila, open your eyes and look at me,” John demanded, still in the same hushed tone.

  Slowly, I opened them and did what he asked. I looked at him. Really looked at him. He wasn’t as large as I remembered him. I’d had the same thought occur to me before, I remembered that from one of my first moments back with the Fallen Paradigm.

  “I know you want to lead your people. I know you wanted to get your power back, but you need to listen to me – follow me – if you really intend on doing any of those things. Listen to me. Do as I do,” he continued.

  Do as I do. I nodded.

  “Now, I want you to close your eyes.” He closed his eyes, expecting me to follow suit.

  I did, not only because I wanted for the pain of the excess stimuli to go away, but also because I wanted to learn if I could. Apparently, there was a learning curve with this procedure – with the Nano-Tech. It healed me, and it came with its own set of growing pains. First, I heard nothing. When I cracked my left eye open, all I saw was him staring back at me. I closed my eye again as searing pain moved in behind the socket. I hissed and soon felt the feather-light touch of his fingertips on my lids, heavy as weights even though I knew that wasn’t truly the case.

  “Keep them closed, and just listen. It works better if your eyes are closed.”

  “Okay,” I muttered.

  The sensation left me, and I felt the bed shift as he sat back where he had been. Focusing on just the sounds of him, I heard his lungs expand and then contract with a deep breath. The air moved out of his lungs with a whoosh, and his blood pumped through his veins. I mirrored him again, taking a deep breath while focusing on the same sounds that moved through my chest. It was unsettling in a way, but amazing in others. Something I couldn’t have heard before sounded as if it were in stereo now. As I concentrated on the air that moved in and out of my lungs, John and I taking interchanging inhalations, it was much easier to tune out everything else. The sensation of the sheets on my skin, the smell of our sweat and bodies, and the odd alkaline taste of my saliva that coated my tongue began to dim – almost like turning down the intensity of an overhead light.

  “You hear that?” he asked. “How the air moves in and out?”

  “I do.”

  “Focus on that and everything else, all that white noise, will kind of fade. You can do this with everything if you just concentrate. You can turn off any sense and dim any sensation. Or you can turn it all down at once, kind of like a television.”

  “All right.”

  “So, what I want you to do is concentrate on something deep inside you. Energy that you know. Deep, deep down.”

  My eyebrows raised, but I never opened my eyes. “What?” I asked, skeptical.

  “Just do it. You’ll see. It’s something that you recognize easily. Something you feel when you use your ability. We’re going to search it out. The Nanos have removed the serum from your system and amped up everything you’ve got. It was just drowned out by everything else. All you have to do is focus on the sensations, like when you use your power, and it’ll come back to you. It’ll start as something just on the fringes of your mind, then become clearer as you control all your senses.”

  I sighed but did as he suggested. I took another breath through my nose, pulling the air in deep, and then pushing it out through pursed lips in an attempt to bring my focus down into the recesses of my mind. Before, it would lay just beneath the surface. Always there, but not always active. There was only a cold and dark emptiness.

  I felt nothing. Not even a faint hint of the warmth I felt before the serum.

  I shook my head, denying that this could ever work. “I’m sorry. There’s nothing.”

  I wanted to cry – even felt tears burning the backs of my eyelids at the thought of missing a piece of myself for the rest of my life. King had already taken my mother, my father, and my leg. I couldn’t let him have this too.

  “You’re not diving deep enough. Keep trying. I know it’s there.”

  I pressed my lips into a straight line and furrowed my brow, trying to gain even more focus. Bringing my mind to center, I did just as he suggested. I pushed myself even farther down into the blackness – right down to my subconscious where it used to lay dormant when I wasn’t using it.

  Then I felt something warm. It was faint but grew stronger at the recognition. Elation bloomed in my chest as the heat grew, spreading throughout my body. I smiled, and laughed with joy, opening my eyes again to see John grinning back at me.

  “Told you,” he said. “Now, you want to see something even cooler?”

  My smile left my face in a flash, confused as to what could be better than the resurgence of my ability.

  “Cooler?” I asked skeptically.

  “Yeah,” he replied, “much. Trust me. If you thought the prosthetic was a hindrance before, you won’t think that after you see what the Nanos did to it.”

  My eyebrows rose, and the pace of my heart picked up a few beats. “What the Nanos did?”

  He sighed. “Instead of repeating what I say, how about I just show you? It’ll be a shock, but the doc is just outside if you need her. So is everyone else.”

  Anxiety pounded in my skull, and I felt myself losing the control I just gained over my senses. That was when I noticed something that I either ignored or hadn’t perceived altogether. Below my knee, I had only been able to feel the stub of my leg that remained – nothing below that point at all. Only the pressure from the prosthetic. This was different. This was something I hadn’t been able to feel since the attack that took my leg in the first place. My eyes widened as it finally registered. I felt the cool, rough sheets against my calf somehow, but I couldn’t make myself move. I froze in place, staring at Baker as my mouth hung open slightly. He grinned, placing his hand on where I knew the prosthetic rested. The pressure of his hand on top of it above the covers was welcome.

  It hadn’t felt as it had before, which was how I knew my leg hadn’t been regenerated, but the Nanos had done something else. They created a miracle regardless of what I would see.

  “Baker, move the damn blanket,” I choked past sobs that I attempted to hold back.

  “Did you feel something?” he asked.

  “Yes, move it, God damn it,” I almost shouted impatiently.

  “As you wish,” he said, his smirk only growing into a Cheshire cat grin.

  His fingers gripped the blanket and moved it away slowly, the fabric moving against the prost
hetic. I felt it with stunning lucidity, and I nearly choked on the cries that threatened to escape. I knew it wouldn’t be the same as it had been, but that didn’t matter. It would be close, and that was good enough for me. Much closer than the emptiness below the knee prior to the procedure.

  What I saw when the blanket finally revealed my new leg filled me with glee as well as trepidation as I began to contemplate how my life would change after these moments. I was astonished into silence as I took it all in.

  The metal I saw wasn’t the dulled, scraped, and dented metal of the prosthetic I came in with. It was sleek, shining, and brand new – following the same lines of what my leg used to be. All the plastic was gone, having folded into the metal – becoming it as the Nanos had worked diligently to rebuild my body as best they could. Seemingly, they used my genetic blueprint, making certain the leg and foot itself were the right shape, height, and functioned properly. Every curve followed the same lines as what had been there before with perfect joints and functionality. There was one startling difference. A soft blue light emanated from around the knee joint, illuminating it only enough to be noticed, but not a hindrance.

  I flexed the foot, bringing it up toward me, then down. It moved smoothly and perfectly, and I felt each movement as I would have with my natural limb. Thanks to the Nanos, and thanks to John, it was more advanced than anything I could have gotten from the Fallen Paradigm. I laughed with happiness. Now I could function without having to worry, but something else felt different about it. Something I couldn’t put my finger on at the base of where my stump met the metal. I had seen it melt, fusing before everything went dark, but what did that mean?

  “Something feels…,” I said, frowning.

  “Different?” he interrupted.

  I nodded, unsure how else to answer.

  “That’s a question only the doc can answer.” He held up one finger, signaling for me to wait a moment. He moved to the door and opened it. “Come on in, everyone. We’re past the worst of it. And you’re up, Doc.”

  I watched as everyone filed in, watching me carefully with soft, deliberate smiles. Gaia and Ryder came toward me, hugging me gently and sitting on either side of me. Caius, Ajax, Genevieve, Fairbanks, Cecilia, Julius, and Ruckus stood on the other side of the room along with John. Doctor Aserov walked toward me, sitting at the bottom of the bed where Baker had just been.

  “Mila, how are you feeling?” she asked, scanning me with a medical eye through her glasses.

  I wasn’t certain how to answer that, so I said nothing – only stared at her and letting my expression speak for itself. Ryder’s hand grasped mine and squeezed, trying to comfort me as Gaia’s hand came to rest on my shoulder.

  “I’m sure you’d like for me to explain a few things.” She cleared her throat, clearly uncomfortable. “When the Nanos worked through your body, they did as we expected. They removed the serum from your body, but they did much, much more.”

  “And that is?” I asked.

  “Well, they,” she paused, trying to think of how to phrase what she said next, “caused some enhancements. Your senses, as I’m sure you noticed, are heightened, which was why we needed John to help walk you through the process as soon as you woke up. You will heal much faster than you did previously, but the Nanos cannot heal mortal wounds in your case. Like a bullet to the brain, for instance. Also, you will be much faster and stronger than you were before. More powerful in a lot of ways.”

  “And my leg? It feels…different.”

  “Ah, yes. The prosthetic has also fused to your existing skeletal structure in what remains of your leg. It is now a part of you and has restored the nerves. You can feel everything from the knee down. You, my dear, have a new lease on life. And, I’m sure, a new appreciation for it.”

  The room went completely quiet except for the insignificant signs of life that I could hear coming from those in the room.

  “How does that make you feel, Mila? Do you think you can help us win this? Can you be the leader your mother knew you could be?” Fairbanks asked, stepping away from everyone else to stand behind the good doctor.

  My gaze shifted to him, and my eyes met his.

  “I feel like I can take on the world, Sergeant. And, yes, I sure as Hell can.”

  I meant it as I looked at my comrades, meeting each pair of eyes with resolve. I stopped, smiling at my two best friends who smiled in return with pride on their faces.

  Chapter

  TWENTY-ONE

  I felt renewed as I called a meeting among the major players that remained in the Fallen Paradigm. Unfortunately, that consisted of everything left from Kiawah Island and Myrtle Beach. Genevieve had seen and been involved in so much since Kiawah Island, and I trusted her immensely. Her power was strong and could help in so many aspects of what needed to happen next.

  We needed a plan before we went any further, and we needed it quickly. There was no telling how much time we had left before King would enact some other terrible tragedy like he did while I was locked away in his plane – on our way to Washington D.C.

  The room we met in looked to be an old guidance office with a long, solid wood conference table and rolling chairs. A lot like the conference room on Kiawah Island, but less sleek and modern. Everyone was seated, and I stood at the head of the table, each pair of eyes scanning the room nervously. The next step of all of this was all-out war, so I couldn’t blame them for how they felt. I felt the same emotions, my heart pounding at just the thought of running across enemy lines to save our people and the country. At the thought of being close to King again – close enough to kill, which I would, but I also wanted to get my hands on Nero. I was certain Julius did as well, but I wanted his death more than anyone. His betrayal had caused countless deaths, and he was directly responsible for my mother’s passing, being the one who sucked every molecule of life-giving oxygen from her body. I couldn’t forgive him for that, especially since he had also beaten me to a pulp along with my brother Valdus.

  I looked from each face to another, making certain my eyes met theirs. They all wanted vengeance – I could see it beneath their apprehension. Ryder’s green eyes watched me with sheer pride, as did the others. They were proud of the step I was taking. What other purpose would there be to meet with those that practically led our resistance now? Settling on John Baker, with Gaia seated quietly beside him, I opened my mouth to begin the meeting.

  “I wanted to meet with all of you so that I could do two things. I want all of you to know that I am taking my seat as the commander of the Fallen Paradigm,” I looked at Gaia, who smiled softly at me – blue eyes sparkling with fresh tears, “just like our mother wanted.”

  I cleared my throat as sadness began to choke me, burning as I blinked back my own grief.

  “Also,” I began, addressing the entire room, “I wanted to meet with you all to formulate a plan of attack on King and Fuji-O’Hara.”

  Fairbanks leaned forward, leaning on his elbows on the tabletop. “Do you have any suggestions?”

  “I don’t care what we do. I just want to take that fucker down,” Ajax muttered, his voice gruff with barely-concealed anger.

  “Same here,” Ruckus, who remained quiet in the room even after John’s arrival, looked at me with such tenacity that it gave me a chill of anticipation. “I served in the military under a much better leader, never once going to war for any reason. I only doled out corporal punishments because that was the only purpose we had. Now, I have this, and I’ll do whatever I have to to bring that maniac’s time to an end. Don’t you doubt that.”

  While he wasn’t integral to the resistance as far as I was concerned, he meant a lot to John and Gaia, which made him important enough to help our cause. Plus, he seemed to hate King as much – if not more – than any of us if the speech he just gave meant anything. His hardened face spoke to the seriousness of his words, eyes ablaz
e with the heat of wrath.

  “We’re all on board with whatever your plan of attack is,” Cecilia stated.

  “I just want a shot at my brother for what he’s done. So, what do you want us to do?” Julius asked, piggy-backing off of Cecilia’s statement.

  “Trust me, so do I even want at my own brother.”

  The room went silent, stunned faces with mouths opened in shock. I had said something about him when I was being debriefed, so their shock didn’t make any sense to me. All of them had to have known after I said something to Fairbanks, Ajax, Gaia, and Ryder. I shook it off and looked back at John Baker, ignoring it and pushing forward. Valdus didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. Nero barely registered – the only reason I wanted him dead being that he killed my mother and caused so much pain and death, making him difficult to ignore altogether.

  “Actually,” I pushed a few strands of my dark hair away from my forehead, “I am hoping that Baker has some information that we can use to formulate a plan. John, how much information were you able to get from Fuji-O’Hara’s systems? Any kind of information like blueprints, schematics, security systems…?”

  John’s eyes widened as if I caught him off guard. He knew I would’ve come to him for anything he could possibly have. He sent us so much in regard to video and official documents that there was no way possible he didn’t have anything else. Of course, I hadn’t seen much of what he sent encrypted originally, so I wasn’t certain if anything else was received.

  “Uhhh…Ummmm…yeah. Well, I mean, I sent a lot of stuff in that encrypted file that I sent to Kiawah Island.”

  “None of it survived. The entire system crashed and burned in the blast,” Ajax stated.

  “How are you sure?” Caius asked, leaning forward. “How did we not have a back-up?”

  “Everything is gone, man,” Ajax snapped, then looked at me. “Everything on Kiawah Island is gone. We were so well hidden your mother didn’t believe we would need some kind of alternate storage.”