Fianna Kelly Versus the Jeebees: A Collection of Steampunk Stories

by Harry Dodgson

  When the applause died down, I told them a story from my first shooting lessons. I had loved Jim's stories and I hoped they would like mine. For the next target, I fired eight shots at it. I tried to walk around one of the rings finishing with one in the bulls-eye. Someone brought me the target again and I told the audience another story.

  For the last target, I shot a large X shape and put another X inside it. The audience was giving me a standing ovation as I cleaned my rifle and put it back in its case. There weren't that many people watching and I hoped they weren't disappointed seeing me instead of Jim.

  Eric had gotten my targets and caught up to Bradan and I as we were leaving the range. He said, "That was truly an exhibition of superior marksmanship."

  "That was good weather, an exceptional rifle, and close targets," I said modestly.

  "I thought you were having difficulties hitting the bulls-eye at first, but these prove that I was mistaken."

  "If I had shot for the centre every time, people might have thought I had missed the target entirely. Unlike Robin Hood who had an arrow sticking out of the target, my bullets go through them."

  "You are an artist and I'd love to display these in my room. If you would be so kind as to sign them first, I will send them off to be framed today."

  I was flattered and could tell I was blushing. It was a simple request and impossible to refuse. He ran off with his souvenirs while we went back to the exhibition. I discovered that we had become celebrities in that short time and attracted a small group of people wherever we went.

  I had dinner at a German restaurant inside the exhibition and we got a ride to where Mary and Felix were staying. It was a new hotel, built just for the exhibition. It had a huge lobby with plants and flowers suspended from the ceiling. The two of them joined the two of us and we shared stories of our day and the pavilions we liked the best. As always, people came by our table and asked about Bradan. It was hard to be inconspicuous with a ten-foot tall automaton standing near you.

  It had been dark for about an hour when a soldier rushed through the lobby and stopped in front of us. "Mr. Kelly, I regret to inform you that your device has been stolen from where it was locked up. The guards say they were rushed by several creatures that had pistols which fired sparks."

  Felix looked stunned so I asked, "How are the guards doing?"

  "They have several burns and nasty headaches, but are otherwise unharmed."

  I told the soldier, "I'd appreciate it if you don't talk about this. You wouldn't want to scare away the tourists, would you? I'm sure we can handle this quietly."

  He left us looking relieved and trying to act casual. I could see Felix was having difficulty dealing with the news. Mary was holding his hand and being supportive.

  I pondered aloud. "I wonder what the jeebees will do with your device."

  Felix responded, "There are many nefarious uses possible if its secret is discovered."

  I said, "Don't worry. I am going to make it a habit of taking things away from them."

  Jim had recovered by the time we returned to the guest house. As I had guessed, it was something he had eaten. I told him what I had done in his place and asked what I could do to improve on it for my performance tomorrow. His first suggestion is that we work together. He said his shows always did better if he had a female partner.

  He told me about a trick where his partner would be holding his targets and he'd shoot them. I suggested we find something else to do. In the end, we decided that he'd do most of the show with me assisting at the beginning and returning for the finale. He asked me what I'd be wearing which confused me until he explained it was good for us to wear matching colours on stage.

  • May 2

  The show began like yesterday with the translators introducing me. The range was almost full of spectators today. I guessed the word had gotten out that Jim and I were both performing. I received a lot of applause when I went on stage anyway.

  I introduced Jim and he came on stage taking large strides. He bowed to me and the audience, and put five shots into a target like the points of a star about a foot apart. He hadn't even waited for the applause to die down. He turned to me and smiled.

  I announced, "I am not so good with my pistol; so could you guys please move the target closer?" Two men near the stage pulled on a rope and the target moved until it was almost close enough to reach. We all laughed. "That's funny, guys." I waited for the audience to quiet down. "How about 20 yards out. Isn't that customary distance in the wild west of America?"

  Jim said, "I've seen two gunfighters take 20 steps apart. More often than not, they miss each other on the first shot. They get in a hurry and forget they have to aim their guns."

  The men pulled another rope and the target moved back to half of what Jim had it at. I faced it and carefully lined up my shots to put one next to each of his. I turned to the audience. "That wasn't so difficult," I said.

  He quickly drew his other gun and put five shots next to each of mine as fast as he could while looking at me.

  I looked at the target, then at Jim, then at the audience. I said, "I seem to be shy one bullet to do that trick so I guess I'll have to cheat."

  While I was saying that, the guys pulled the rope to move the target closer. I flipped the lever and fired the shotgun shell into the centre of all our shots. I curtsied to Jim and then the audience. I left the stage while he continued with his performance.

  He was wonderful. He told stories and shot an assortment of targets. I was engrossed and spellbound with his performance. I almost missed my cue to return on stage. He reloaded both his revolvers and I stood by a table with a dozen tiny glasses. I tossed them in the air, one at a time, as fast and as high as I could. He shot them all, alternating hands. He bowed to the audience and we walked off stage.

  The audience applauded while he reloaded again. He had one last thing in his act that he saved for an encore. It was a large wheel that spun on a frame with sparklers along the rim. He had told me that he ignited them while it spun. It was covered with a sheet and I rolled it onto the stage. I pulled the sheet off and stared at a doll dressed just like me, complete with gun belt. I turned to the audience and said, "I told him that I wasn't getting on this wheel no matter how good a marksman he is. It looks like I've been replaced."

  Jim came on stage as the people laughed. I spun the wheel and scampered over next to him. I expected him to shoot the sparklers as they reached the top, but he shot them wherever they happened to be when he was ready for the next one. He holstered his guns with a flourish and bowed to the audience again. When the sparklers fizzled out, I took the doll off the wheel, held her out for all to see, and said, "Not a scratch on her." There was a cute Dutch girl in the front row. I coaxed her to the stage and gave the doll to her. She looked happy to have it and hugged it tight to her chest. I was happy to never see it again.

  The three of us went back to the exhibition and attracted more people than the day before. We could hardly walk once they surrounded us. We were trying to get into a restaurant when a woman pointed over my shoulder to something she had seen. I turned around and saw a silver dot in the sky far off. As it neared I could see it was an airship. When it was close enough, I could see it was my airship. I addressed Bradan, "Please find Gerald and bring him to me. I believe he went to the Belgian pavilion with that woman he met."

  People were now running towards an open field. I could see a man signalling for my airship to land. I strolled in that direction as if I had all the time in the world to get there; which I did. I didn't want to be part of the crowd. One of the aviators jumped out and organised the people into two groups; one at each end. They pulled the mooring lines tight while he secured them. My airship was properly tied down before I reached it.

  The pilots must have seen me as they got the crowd to open up so I could get through. "I didn't expect to see you guys for a week," I said.

  "Who would have thought that in the land of windmills, there would be steam engines ev
erywhere. We were able to find a nice unit that wasn't put in service yet. It's not as powerful as the original one, but it's lighter, and that balanced out nicely."

  "Well, I am happy to see you here. Come to the exhibition with us and enjoy yourselves."

  "I'm not sure we can do that. We saw a nasty storm over the sea headed this way. We should take the Clover back up or find a hangar for her until it blows over. We only stopped to review the options with the authorities."

  Eric and the Major arrived in time to hear the last part. The Major spoke first, "There's not an available hangar in the country due to the exhibition. Your best bet would be to take her up as high as she'll go and let the storm pass beneath you."

  Suddenly, I heard a series of loud cracks. I couldn't place where they were coming from as I heard echoes from everywhere. It continued for a minute as people were panicking and running for cover. I had my rifle in hand, but nothing to shoot at. Then I heard a hissing sound. I had a bad feeling. I was certain now that I had heard these sounds before. I looked at my airship and saw a geyser of steam spurting out and rising from the midsection.

  I looked at the Major. "We don't seem to have that option anymore."

  Eric asked, "What just happened?"

  I started toward the nose of my airship, motioning them to follow. "Come with me gentlemen. It is safe now."

  When I was sure no-one could hear us, I explained, "What you have just seen is the effect of a weapon that the jeebees tricked the British Army into building for them. The battle in London last year was for possession of it and I thought we had won."

  The Major interrupted, "What kind of weapon does this?"

  "It is a type of railway gun that fires small mortars for miles as quickly as a Gatling gun fires bullets."

  Eric asked, "Are you sure we are safe here? They could destroy your airship at any time."

  The Major addressed Eric, "I believe that is why she is sure. If they can do it at any time, they are waiting for the right one."

  I didn't know if my airship was the first one to venture in range or the jeebees had been waiting for mine out of spite. I was getting mad. This was like when I was on the train. Everything was going along fine until they arrived to spoil it. I made sure they didn't get the railway gun then and I will take it away from them again. Should any survive, they will know to hide when they see me.

  I said, "I do so hate asking this as I didn't like the answers the last time, but what are the options for my airship now?"

  The Major thought for a moment before answering. "One. We can wait for either the jeebees or the approaching storm to ignite the gas cells. Two. We can ignite them ourselves and have a controlled burn. Three. We let all the gas out of the bags and hope the storm doesn't ignite it"

  I sighed. "Do what needs to be done. If anyone asks, I will tell them the engine on my airship failed again. I suggest you do the same for the obvious reasons. No-one could have seen those shells before they impacted and prove otherwise. Just let me take down my flag before you start."

  Eric spoke quietly, "Major, you and I know there is another option. We only have a short time if we are to take advantage of it."

  The Major called to me, "Leave your flag there. Run as fast as you can to the exhibition and bring back as many horses with their harnesses as possible. We are going to tow your airship to safe harbour again."

  It was an impressive sight. We had over two dozen horses lashed together pulling my airship. I could see the pilots inside working the controls to keep it just off the ground and pointed towards the horses. I could now see the dark clouds approaching and hoped we either made it where we were headed or were a safe distance away should the worst happen.

  They stopped on the other side of a small hill. I stood on top of it and looked around. I didn't see any difference between here and where we had started. The hill was not big enough to hide my airship behind nor did it provide shelter from the elements. The Major had his men secure the mooring lines onto two large metal hoops embedded in the ground and motioned for everyone to move away from my ship. I heard the sound of a steam engine and watched the ground move under my ship. It split in half revealing a well-lit cavern. They wasted little time in pulling my airship down under the ground and closing the seam again.

  I hadn't noticed when, but I was sitting on the ground staring in amazement at what just happened. I could see my pilots at the bottom of the hill talking with a few soldiers. The Major walked up the hill and spoke to me. "I am not sure if we did the right thing in the long picture, but I believe it was the right thing to do today."

  "I don't understand."

  "As far as we know, these jeebees of yours didn't know we had this base. The one you shot may have been trying to find it. I am sure they know where it is now. The exhibition will continue without a major disruption though because if they want a fight, they'll come here for it."

  I thought for a moment and asked, "How well protected is your base from flooding?"

  He started to say something and changed his mind. He began again, "If your cousin's device works as advertised, and they figured out how to subvert it, and that is a major storm headed this way; the answer to your question is 'not enough'."

  I heard Bradan coming. He had brought Gerald with him as I had asked. I stood up as straight as I could and confronted him. "When were you planning to tell me the jeebees had stolen the railway gun from the army?"

  He replied, "Never... I was told not to tell you about that."

  I was getting very mad. "Is there anything else that you were told not to discuss with me? Anything that might get me more upset than I am now when I find out?"

  He looked down at his feet. "No... May I ask what happened to the Clover?"

  I looked at the Major, "That is not my secret to share. Bradan and I are going hunting for jeebees. Had I known they had the railway gun, we would have skipped the performances and spent the time riding about the countryside looking for them."

  The Major asked, "Would you like some military support or is this a private war?"

  "I will welcome any help I can get, but Gerald is paying me to be discreet."

  "I know just what you need. How about four strong men who marched in the parade earlier wearing traditional uniforms?"

  "Fianna..." started Gerald, but I didn't let him continue.

  "You will stay out of my way. The time for persuasive techniques is over."

  As I started down the hill, I called to the Major, "Send your men to where the Clover was attacked. That's where we'll be starting. Make sure they have plenty of ammunition. "

  I was seething most of the walk back. If anyone had gotten in my way, they might have run away screaming. Bradan always had a calming effect on me and I was more in control when we arrived at the landing field. I stood in it looking lost. I had always relied on Bradan to sense where the jeebees were hiding. Now that they had the railway gun, they could stay beyond his range.

  I probably looked like Bradan does when he paces. I hadn't a clue where to go from here. It didn't take that long for the Major to gather his men. It was an impressive sight to see them marching quickly down the road. Anyone else watching would have thought they were still performing at the exhibition. I took a closer look and noticed their weapons were neither ceremonial nor traditional. They formed a line and stood at attention facing me. I thought the Major should be giving the orders, but he was in line too, waiting for me to say something.

  "We have an enemy with a weapon that fires a small mortar shell with a near flat trajectory. I have seen this weapon hit a target two miles away. It was used to disable an airship where we are standing in just a few seconds. I welcome all suggestions on locating it."

  One man asked, "How big is it? Is it very heavy?"

  "I would guess the gun by itself is four feet on a side. The control panel is six feet high and perhaps a foot thick. The British Army required a locomotive to power it and a flatcar to carry it."

  "That narrows our search. Th
e enemy has likely deployed it on solid ground."

  Another one walked over to where my airship had been moored. "If the airship was struck amidships and it was hit on this side, then the shells had to have come from the North. You said it fires a flat arc so we can eliminate any angles with obstacles in the way."

  Another man said, "I saw that the airship came from the Southwest. They waited for it to land before firing."

  "Let's concentrate on the Northeast then."

  We were walking that way when Gerald drove up in a long wagon pulled by four horses. "I'd like to apologise and offer this to prove my sincerity."

  We took the wagon and left him behind. About ten minutes later, Bradan gave the first warning.

  INTRUDERS 2510 YARDS

  I asked, "What direction?"

  STRAIGHT AHEAD

  The Major urged the horses to go faster while his men readied their revolvers. I crouched down in the back under Bradan. I remembered from my last battle that I did not hit moving targets well and my ammunition was not endless. I figured that I would get ready once we got closer.

  I heard the distinctive sound of the railway gun and saw a tree fall behind us. The Major was now driving the wagon erratically to make it harder to hit. It seemed funny to me that the jeebees had the most advanced weapon I knew of and they were trying to hit us with sticks; albeit large sticks. It stopped being funny when one tree came too close and panicked the horses. The wagon slid sideways into the tree followed by Bradan and I sliding out of it. The Major and his men were like cats; landing on their feet.

  We all scrambled behind the thickest part of the tree to hide. I felt that the jeebee wouldn't fire the railway gun at a person, but I wasn't as confident as I was earlier. I checked on Bradan who was okay, but covered in dirt.