Fianna Kelly Versus the Jeebees: A Collection of Steampunk Stories

by Harry Dodgson

  I asked him, "How far away is the jeebee with the railway gun?"

  1125 YARDS

  One man said, "It's out of our range."

  I smiled and replied, "'Tis not too far away for me." Bradan tapped me on the shoulder.

  INTRUDERS 185 YARDS

  "That is not unexpected. How many jeebees are there?"

  TOO MANY TO TRACK

  They were all staring at me again. It was making me nervous. I took a deep breath. "You guys shoot the ones that get close enough in the head. Once I have a clear path, I'll try for the one with the railway gun. History has shown killing the leader stops the rest."

  I risked a look over the tree trunk at the oncoming army. It was a new battle and they had new tactics. They were in groups of three. The group would all move left, stop and all fire at us, then move right and repeat it. Each time they got a bit closer. The men were trying to make a clear path for me, but the jeebees kept filling it in.

  The firing was almost continuous when I realised my mistake. The railway gun had a near flat arc and would have to fire through their army to hit me. However, in order for my bullets to reach that far, I'd be firing my rifle over their heads. Once I got the commanding jeebee in my sights, it wouldn't matter what moved in my way as long as it wasn't on top of me.

  I rested my rifle barrel on the tree trunk and took four shots before I hit the jeebee commander. I only knew because all the jeebees hesitated for a second. I kept firing until all the jeebees simply slumped to the ground. I took a deep breath to relax before I could think about what I was doing. I ran behind a tree to spare the men from seeing what I was about to do. It was like Captain Benton said; I did not have the stomach for killing.

  I composed myself and advanced towards the railway gun. The men were following behind me, ever cautious, while Bradan was burying the jeebees.

  The Major said, "Put a shot in each of the ones that dropped. If we can't tell if they are alive, we'll make sure they are dead."

  I added, "You needn't shoot them when a sharp blade will work as well."

  I stood upwind of the jeebee commander and pointed at the left control panel. "Could one of you men please open that up for me? There is a long blue box inside with cables at each end. Unplug the cables and bring me the box."

  I took the box and inspected it before handing it to the Major. "This gun will not fire without this box. It's like a key and a lock."

  He asked, "What does it do?"

  "They tried to explain it to me. All I recall is that it has something to do with turning magnets on and off."

  One soldier asked, "So we just leave the gun here?"

  "Once you five men can lift it up, I'll bring the wagon here. Meanwhile, I will enjoy watching you try."

  "How about your automaton?"

  "I don't interfere with him while he buries them. We can return to the exhibition and he will follow once he finishes but we need to find shelter soon."

  One man, who was keeping watch, called to me, "Is this box over here part of it?"

  I looked where he was and said, "No, that is my cousin's anti-flood device. You can bet he'll be buying the first round tonight when we return with it."

  I was feeling better. We had found both the railway gun and my cousin's anti-flood device. I had personally killed another jeebee commander and I had helped reduce the jeebee population by several dozen. I could tour the area looking for any remaining jeebees while waiting for my airship to be repaired again.

  Felix was overjoyed to see his device in the wagon. He practically ignored us as he checked out the controls. As usual, he either talked to himself or his inventions as he worked. He said it helped him to focus on the task. I didn't tell him what I thought.

  He said, "We have power. Wow! We really have power now. Let's get to work and show those clouds who's in charge."

  He was working the controls like a portrait painter. He'd make a few tweaks then step back to inspect his work. He had reduced his speech to assorted sounds of wonder, like what people do at a firework's display. Then he got serious and spun a few dials and flipped a switch with a flourish. The colanders spun around the pole. They hadn't done that at his demonstration. He was working the controls with both hands and the colanders spun much faster. They were spinning so fast that the air going through the tiny holes made a shrieking sound like a hundred children trying to play the same note on toy recorders. The men covered their ears and ran inside, but I was too fascinated to move.

  Felix was encouraging it, as if telling it to go faster would work. He tapped a button and the pitch changed. At the same time, lightning flashed between the dark clouds above. A moment later, I felt the thunder followed by a few sprinkles. I pulled my goggles down so I could look up without the drops falling into my eyes. It was a wondrous sight. With each adjustment he made, the clouds reacted with a bolt of lightning. The image of each bolt was fleeting, but as soon as one had faded, He created another one. The pitch and intensity of the whistling seemed to keep rising as he worked.

  Felix took a deep breath and I noticed the clouds were not as dark as they had been. It was as if they had lost something. It was even more enjoyable to watch the lightning with a lighter backdrop. My eyes did not have to adjust as much to the changes in brightness. He was making continual changes now and the sky responded in turn. This was so much better than a fireworks display. He stopped for a few seconds to check his work. I looked at the sky around us and was surprised to see so few clouds remaining.

  I yelled to him, "That was wonderful! Turn it off and we can get into some dry clothes and celebrate!"

  He yelled back, "I have to slow it down before I can stop it."

  • May 3

  I woke up on my back. This time it was too dark as well as too quiet. I tried to sit up and regretted it. I got very dizzy and fell back on the bed. I heard a muffled voice say, "Don't try to move. I'll fetch the doctor." I didn't remember doing anything that would require a doctor. In fact, the last I remembered I felt more alive than I'd ever felt before. I went back to sleep.

  The next time I opened my eyes, it was not dark. It was also not quiet. "Could you keep your voices down? It must have been a wonderful party considering how I feel."

  "Never mind the party," someone said. "You are lucky to be alive."

  I said, "I feel that way often. What makes today any different?"

  Mary said, "The doctor said you might have some memory loss. What do you remember?"

  "I remember Felix working his machine and the storm calming. I had never seen anything as beautiful as those lights in the heavens before."

  Mary replied, "One would think that between the two of you, there would be one smart enough to get out of the rain during a storm. The men tell me he was blown back from his device and you went to help him. The two of you were either hit by a lightning bolt, or caught up by the blast when his device exploded, or both."

  "I'm sorry to be such a nuisance. How is he feeling?"

  "Much better than you. He has some sore ribs, but is back at the castle trying to sell the plans to his device. I guess you got the worst of it as you were standing between him and his device when it happened."

  Someone said, "There is talk at the exhibition as to giving him an award for best presentation."

  I said, "I think that is a wonderful idea. He should also get something appropriate for clearing up the storm and allowing the exhibition to continue."

  "It's obvious that you can still hear. How is your vision?" asked a man.

  I said, "If this room is full of people, then I am not seeing things. If everyone could stop swaying, I would appreciate it. You guys are making me dizzy."

  "You heard the lady," he said, "She would like some quiet and probably needs some fresh air. Let's keep it down to two visitors at a time. Her cousin's wife and I count as two, so all of you guys wait outside until I am done examining her."

  The examination was the same as always; a bunch of poking and prodding while asking questions
. That was followed by listening to whatever they listen to with a stethoscope. I wondered if I hummed very softly while he did that if he would think that I had a tiny woman inside of me singing. Doctors and I seldom got along as they would tell me not to do something shortly after I had done it. I expected to get another lecture about standing in the rain and was not disappointed.

  He picked up my goggles from a table and dangled them in front of me. They looked in bad condition. "If you hadn't been wearing your goggles, you would be sightless now. You won't be wearing these again. But needing new goggles is better than needing new eyes, yes? God smiled on both you and your cousin."

  I asked Mary, "How do I look?"

  She said, "You look like you always do in the morning, but that is perfectly okay given where you are and why."

  Mary and the doctor left to let other people come in, two at a time. I had no idea that I had acquired so many friends in the last few days. Many people that I didn't know came in to wish me a speedy recovery. Eric came in holding a large vase with water in it. He opened my window and stood next to it while Bradan reached in holding a red rose and dropped it in the vase. I was laughing and crying as they filled the vase with a dozen roses. Eric placed the vase on the sill and I beckoned him to come close so I could hug him.

  I whispered in his ear, "Do you know what red roses mean?"

  He said, "Yes." So I kissed him full on the lips and held him close until I had to breathe. I was feeling dizzy again but it was my own fault.

  Gerald had brought only a small flower arrangement. I said, "Thank you for the kind thoughts. I am sorry I got mad at you yesterday. It was yesterday wasn't it?"

  "Yes, it was yesterday," he said. "I promise you that I will have a talk with Mr. Balfour about keeping secrets. You deserve to know everything that happens to the railway gun now that you have rescued it twice."

  "Where is it now?"

  "I assure you it is very safe. The Major won't even tell me where it is."

  I laughed at him. "Do you remember your lesson about trusting people? I don't think he trusts you."

  I was having a great time; meeting new people and talking with those I knew. A nurse interrupted my flow of visitors with my dinner. She asked them to return in an hour when I had finished. The portions on the plate were so small, it took me less than five minutes to eat. Fortunately for me, I didn't have to sit by myself with nothing to do for an hour. I dropped a hint to one of the men that had been in the fighting. Shortly thereafter, Bradan was given breads, smoked meats, and cheeses to pass through my window. I was feeling much better and when the doctor came back, he said I was fit enough to leave after a good night's sleep.

  • May 4

  Bradan and I got a wagon ride from the hospital to the guest house in the morning. It took an hour or two before I felt like normal again. We walked to the castle, I talked nice to a few soldiers, and they ran around the castle to find Eric. A few minutes later, one returned with him.

  I said, "I recall an invitation from a charming man to escort me through his greenhouse."

  Eric replied, "I was wondering if you'd remember that. The invitation still stands."

  "Is now a good time?"

  "I suspect the entire castle has heard that my girlfriend is here to see me by now."

  "Have I done something wrong?"

  "No. I have. I should have been at the hospital when you were discharged."

  "I learned long ago that the world does not stop based on my wishes. I can come back when you are less busy. I have my own work to do."

  He said, "As long as we are both here, it is the perfect time to inspect the tulips. We may not have another chance."

  It was a short walk and I danced around him, enjoying the sunshine and the gentle breeze. He took my hand and brought me to his side. I think I was making him dizzy.

  He said, "To be truthful, it is not my greenhouse, but my mother's. She chooses the arrangement of the flowers and I see that they get enough water."

  "I wouldn't think that giving them water would be a problem."

  "Perhaps I should have said that they get just enough and not too much."

  The greenhouse was open on both ends and I turned to Bradan. "We do not wish to be disturbed by anyone or anything."

  I turned back to Eric, "I heard that tulips come in all the colours of the rainbow. Is that correct?"

  "Not to be prideful, but we have colours that you won't see in the rainbow. The scientists say they are actually there and we just don't see them. I prefer to think that those colours have been reserved for flowers."

  I ran over to one flower bed. "I love the colour of purple; the perfect mix of red and blue. The colour reserved for royalty. Add gold accents for women and silver for men. Had I been born into a different family, I would have purple gowns, and purple party dresses, and purple corsets; all with gold trim."

  I ran over to other ones, smelling them and trying to tell if different colours had different fragrances.

  I waited for him to catch up to me before running off again. "I also love this shade of blue. I wore a dress of this shade the night before we met. I had to return it as it was on loan. I wore white slippers with it and danced all night."

  "I must invite you to a dance soon."

  "I agree. If you wish to dance with me, you must invite me. I am not one to invite myself."

  "Shall I send you a written invitation or will a simple 'please join us tonight at nine' suffice?"

  "I accept your simple, yet gracious, invitation... I see you are wearing what I bought you."

  "They are very nice but may be a bit extravagant. They must have cost you a lot."

  "You would not believe what I paid and I'll not cheapen the gift by telling you."

  "I have not given you a gift."

  "This is not an exchange. When I travel, I buy things for my friends to remember it. I would like it if whenever you look at them you would remember me and red roses and purple tulips."

  "I think you have that backwards. From now on when I see roses or tulips I will think of you. These are nice but you are unforgettable. I don't need them to remember you."

  "You say that now, but once I am out of your sight, you'll be engrossed in your work and I'll be a fading memory."

  "I will remember everything about you, just as if you were standing here."

  I turned away and asked, "What colour are my eyes? Is there a colour of tulip here that reminds you of them?"

  He strode over to a selection of dark green ones while I was careful that he did not see my eyes. He picked one up, came over near me, and said, "While the shade of this one is close, it does not match the brilliance of your eyes."

  I turned to look at him. He pulled me close and kissed me. I felt like a flower and I wilted in his arms. We ended on the ground between beds and he was pulling petals off the tulip and rubbing my nose with them. They tickled and I almost swallowed one while laughing.

  "While I'd love to spend hours here with you, I need to search your country for any remaining jeebees. Do you know places where people invent things? The jeebees like to steal devices. Bradan and I will check around those places. As you know, he can sense them."

  "The first place we should check is near where your airship is secreted. Major Meyers has posted six men to patrol that area at all times, but it can't hurt to check there."

  "Did you say 'we'?"

  "Spare me a few minutes to collect my rifle and I shall join you. It is my country, you know, and I'll not have it said I was too busy arranging dinners to help defend it."

  I waited by Bradan as he ran off. He came back with a rifle that bore an uncanny resemblance to mine. "Where did you get that?" I asked.

  "I had to call in a few favours to have this built to the same designs as yours."

  "That seems like a lot of trouble to me."

  "While I'm still not in your league, my scores have noticeably improved."

  "Do you have a pistol like mine too?"

  "No,
I have a volley gun."

  "What does that do?"

  "It shoots six bullets at once in different directions. Were we to be overrun, it might be useful. Anyway, I was thinking on my way back here that we need to make a stop in the city before heading out."

  He must have arranged for a wagon too as one pull up beside us. We got Bradan loaded, took our seats, and he drove us into the city. I slid as close to him as I could without interfering with the reins. I couldn't tell what kind of shoppe we stopped at as the sign was not in English and had a lot of words on it.

  Eric spoke to a man for a minute. He went in the back of the shoppe and returned with a felt-lined case containing goggles. These were not simple round lenses inside leather straps though. These were beautiful. The lenses were large and egg-shaped so one's vision was not restricted. Rather than leather, they were mounted in brass wires woven together as if lace. Set along the edges were tiny stones that I suspected were diamonds and emeralds.

  I looked at Eric. "I doubt I could afford such extravagance, even as practical as they look to be."

  He smiled and said, "Do not cheapen the gift by asking the price. You wouldn't believe what I'm paying for them. Which one would you like?"

  "You can't just ask that. I must try them on and then you must tell me which one looks best on me."

  "I'm not so much concerned about their appearance but your safety. After seeing what happened to your last set, I cannot think of you going anywhere without a good set."

  "Since these all look to be equally practical, we can choose by how wonderful they look on me. No matter which one is chosen, you will have to look at me wearing them, so choose well."

  I thought they all looked about the same. Eric picked the fourth one I tried. The lenses were a bit larger on that one and their curve matched my eyebrows as if made for them. I looked closely in the mirror and noticed that the stones matched my eyes.

  It was amazing how much more I saw out of these than my previous ones. It was almost as if I weren't wearing anything. I admired them in the mirror while Eric talked with the man for a bit. I couldn't understand them, but the tone sounded like Eric may have been praising his craftsmanship. I asked Eric to tell him that I loved them.