Insufferable Weight of Silence

by Huggins, Carrie

  "Mathewson is awful. To be honest I don't see how he thinks he has a shot at a title or even made it this far." I point out as I watch the girls. "His ground work is lazy and unclean. He has no stand up skill and he throws a punch like a girl. Not to mention every time he throws a punch you know it because he always steps forward with his left foot, never fails." I add. When I finally look up at everyone they're all staring at me. "What?"

  "Considering the last time you went to one of Dex's fights I thought you were going to kill him and I had to pull you off of him, it's weird seeing you talk about them fighting and giving pointers." Jeremy points out.

  "That's because y'all took me to an underground fight and no one told me Declan was the main event. He just started removing clothes and jumped right in. Y'all should have warned me. Y'all freaked me out by acting like I was going into a den of murderers and rapists." I say flabbergasted.

  "You were." Jason says. "You were the only girl there and you were 17."

  "Oh." Is all I could manage. I reach over and smack Dex on the arm. "Stupid."

  "I'm sorry, if it helps I don't know what the hell I was thinking either." He laughs. "But considering you busted my lip I think we're even."

  "Fine, we're even." I smile and kiss his shoulder.

  "So y'all are getting married?" Lily asks noticing my ring.

  "Tomorrow before his fight." I reply.

  "Tomorrow! Don't you think it's a little sudden?" She asks.

  "Says the woman that got drunk in Vegas and came home married!" I point out.

  "Well that's different." She retorts.

  "How so? I've known Dex all my life! We have kids together and history. You and Kaseton had a fling after he and I broke up and then you followed my fiancé to Vegas and came back married to his best friend instead." I reply and pause. "Jesus!" I blanch and sit up smacking my hand down on the table. "What the hell is your problem with me?"

  "I just.... I." she stutters. I stare back at them all wondering if the reason why is because of how I left and then the way I returned.

  “Does anyone else have a problem with me?" I ask annoyed. "Lily might be a bitch about it but at least she's blunt and honest. So if any of you have anything to say now is the time to do it because I'm not going anywhere."

  "I have a problem with you." Amber chimes in. "I'm still waiting on that girl’s night out you promised me."

  "Well, keep on waiting because my body guard here." I say hooking my thumb over at Dex. "Has me on house arrest until further notice."

  "Funny," he retorts flatly.

  "Mhmm, hilarious." I reply.

  "Hadley is picking up the girls and keeping them the next two nights. Why don't we all go out tonight as a mock bachelor/bachelorette party to say goodbye to our single lives." I mention.

  "I'll take what I can get." Amber says. "But I still want a girl’s night at some point, that means no Jer, Jase, Dex, or Kase!" I lay my head on Dex's shoulder and look up at him intentionally pushing out my bottom lip to give my best pouty face.

  "You're insufferable." He replies with a kiss. "Sure we can all go."

  "Yay!" I smile and the annoyance of Lily sloughs away.

  After everyone eats, Giana and Hadley walk through the gate. The girls see her and start screaming excitedly. She kneels down with her arms open as they rush her and knock her backwards.

  "Aunt Hadley! Daddy says we are going home with y'all." Delia gushes excited. Giana reaches down and picks up Delaney to give her a hug. "Y'all sure are." Giana says to Delia as she bends over and touches her nose. The four of them walk over to where all us adults are and take seats.

  "Aunt Gigi, I want to go play with Jackson." Delaney says from Giana's arms. She puts her down and the girls run off to the play scape to join the other kids again.

  "Thanks for taking them, sis." Dex says.

  "No problem. It's not everyday your brother gets married. I mean, it's not like Giana, me, or your friends want to be there or anything." She frowns.

  "Sorry I'm not sorry." He says flatly. ".... but I'm not waiting until Miss Indecisive puts together a wedding. I've waited long enough."

  "Boo! Y'all suck." Amber chants from across the table.

  "Seriously, you don't want anyone there?" Jason asks.

  "No." I quip.

  "Nope." Dex agrees. "We'll text y'all a photo with the marriage certificate." He laughs.

  "Where's the fun in that?" Kaseton asks.

  "That comes tomorrow night when she nurses my bruises from my fight." Dex says perverse.

  "Ha! Hell yea!" Jeremy laughs.

  "Y'all are ridiculous. Is that all y'all think about?" I ask the guys.

  "Yes." Kaseton chimes in. "There are little naked stick men running around chasing naked stick girls with big boobs in our heads all the time." I laugh and roll my eyes at Kaseton’s absurdness.

  "Well then when Giana and Hadley get married we'll force them to give us all a nice big wedding." Amber laughs.

  "If we ever get married." Giana says annoyed looking over at her girlfriend.

  "What's the rush?" Hadley asks.

  "Ugh, what am I going to do with you?" Giana grunts.

  "Love me anyways." Hadley retorts.

  I step out of the shower as Dex is climbing in. I towel off quickly and put on my sexiest lace underwear and matching bandeau bralette.

  "You want to get back into the shower?" He calls out to me. I look at him through the mirror and seductively bend straight over showing more than I should. Putting on a show as I step into my tightest form fitting, ass flattering shorts.

  "Ahh," he growls. "You're killing me babe! Why do you got to be so damn sexy?" I turn and walk towards the shower and innocently put my finger in my mouth and press my all to large breasts into the glass. "Keep it up Amity, I'll change my mind and keep you in the house for the rest of your life." I giggle at him knowing he would never. Then I go back to the sink to finish applying my makeup as he's finishing up. I'm bent over the counter applying my mascara when he walks up behind me and presses his hips into my back side.

  "You're going to wear a shirt aren't you?" He asks seriously.

  "Yes, Dex." I huff. "I'm not that cruel."

  "Could have fooled me." He teases and smacks my hip.

  I exit the bathroom after finishing my makeup and throw on an open-sided burnout tank top. Dex is buttoning up his shirt and my mouth hits the floor. I don't think I've ever seen him look so amazing and put together.

  "Can you help me roll up my sleeves?" He asks. I nod unable to speak. He holds his arm out to me, I walk over to him and roll them up to his elbows one at a time. "You look amazing, Amity." He smiles down at me.

  "Not compared to you. I think I should change now." I reply.

  "No, don't." I ignore him as I make my way over to my closet and pull out some skinny jeans, a white three quarter sleeve button up shirt and my favorite black pumps.

  "You know every time I've ever asked you to change before, you didn't. Now I'm telling you not to and you are. Do you ever listen to me?" He asks as I change. Once I'm dressed I search for my black under bust corset vest and slide my arms through.

  "No, lace me up." I say as I adjust my breasts.

  "Holy Shit!" He says with lust in his eyes. I pull my hair out from behind me.

  "You don't like it?" I frown looking down at myself.

  "Don't like it? I don't think that's legal?" He utters stunned.

  "So you do like it? Come on, come cinch me up. Tight!" I say to him. He does as I ask pulling taught on the strings, starting at the top working his way down and finally tying the thick ribbon at my hips. I tuck in the bottom of my shirt, adjust my boobs again, and unbutton the top of my blouse. Then I turn to look at him.

  "Ok. Is this better?" He nods vigorously.

  "You're so beautiful."

  "Thanks, you're a doll!" I smile up at him. "It actually makes my ribs feel good too, being braced. Now I won't have a problem dancing all night." I say wiggling my hips at h
im.

  "Don't leave my side. Those heels are my new favorites, by the way."

  "I won't dream of it." I say as I pull the top half of my hair up, tease, and bobby pin it in place while the rest cascades down my back. Then I rummage through my jewelry box for the necklace. After fumbling with the clasp until I finally get it on I search for Dex for a final approval.

  "Let's go. You're going to make us late." I tease him. He grabs a hand full of my back side and squeezes.

  "I just want to bite you." He says with clenched teeth.

  "Later Casanova, Mama's got her dancing shoes on."

  We take my new BMW out to the pier and arrive at a huge warehouse that was once an old fishery now turned dancehall. Dex gets out and comes around to open my door and walks me in. I lace my arm through his and we enter the building together. The music, thankfully is country so I feel comfortable and at home, like the old days. He leads me towards a table where, Amber, Jeremy, Jason, and Kaseton are all sitting. I was about to ask where Lily was when she catches my eye out on the dance floor with another man whom I didn't recognize. Kaseton seems unfazed so I don't bother.

  "Wow! You look gorgeous Amity! I want to borrow that top sometime." Amber beams at me as we walk up. All the guys turn towards me and wear the same expression Dex had when I showed him my outfit. After looking at everyone I'm glad I changed. They are all dressed to the nines. Amber being in a skimpy form fitting dress and the guys dressed similar to Dex.

  "Thanks, Amber. Of course you can, I have a whole closet you can rummage." I smile at her.

  "Save a dance for me, beautiful." Jason calls over to me.

  "Will do." I reply and take a seat next to Amber then pear into her glass.

  "I want one. What is it?"

  "Mai Tai." She replies.

  "Oh, then I definitely want one."

  "I'll get a waitress when they come around." Kaseton says eyeing me from across the table.

  "Thanks, Kase." I smile at him and he reciprocates warmly. Jason stands up from around the table and comes to my side.

  "I think I'll take that dance now before you get liquored up. I've seen you drunk." He says pulling me up into his arms. "Thanks bro," he teases Dex.

  "Keep her close." Dex replies.

  "I ain't letting her go you'll be lucky if you get her back, looking this damn good and all." Jason calls over his shoulder.

  He leads me out onto the dance floor as the next song comes on. Before we start he spins me around then grabs my free hand with his other. "Progressive two-step?" He asks.

  "Hell yes!" I giggle up at him. He begins quickly pushing me around the floor.

  "How come you're single?" I ask curiously. He shrugs.

  "Because the Amber's and Amity's are all taken." He replies. "I don't want to end up with a Lily. That girl irks me. I don't like the way she talks to you but I don't say anything because you always know how to give it back to her."

  "Ha, thanks!" I say.

  "No problem...... I had a special someone once. One of the greatest persons you'll ever meet but was also married." He says out of no where.

  "What? You're kidding. Kind of sounds like a Lily to me." I say.

  "Not hardly. Riley is married to work." He interjects.

  "Ooh, ok. Well that's too bad. She's missing out." I reply as he pushes me away and spins me down around a corner.

  "It is what it is." He says when he pulls me back to him.

  We continue to dance a while longer. I look around noting all the people here. The warehouse seems pretty full but not so much so that you can't see through the crowd. I see Dex and everyone at the table talking, he has switched spots with Amber I guess so he can keep an eye on me. As if right on cue he looks up at me and smiles. The song ends and Jason takes me back to the table then grabs up Amber and pulls her out to the dance floor.

  "Here you go." Kaseton says pushing a drink towards me. I thank him again and take a sip. The fruity flavors and rum are heaven. I haven't had one in ages, I almost forgot how good they taste. It's a little heavy on the rum side but still perfect.

  Dex sits and talks with Kaseton while I watch people dancing and talking around us. I rest my hand on the table which he grabs on to and gives a squeeze. I don't know why but I can't help but think that I feel like I'm always looking out for someone or trying to find something. I just don't ever know what it is. It's almost as if I'm looking for him. He's here in my town somewhere. I know because I've already seen him once. I just find it odd that he hasn't tried harder. He's never been the type of person to not pursue something he wants with a morbid determination.

  By the time I finish my drink I'm surprisingly already feeling pretty good. Another one comes my way and I take it appreciatively. Amber has returned to the table with Jason and both are sitting down with us now. The guys are talking about Declan's fight tomorrow so Amber and I are off in our own little world chatting about the kids and her desire to open a small consignment boutique. Suddenly it dons on me that Lily hasn't been around all night. I perk my head up and look for her but don't see her.

  "Where's Lily?" I ask. Everyone either responds with a shrug or an I don't now.

  "She doesn't usually stay put when we go out." Amber informs me. I push her to the back of my mind and continue with the previous conversation. Dex stands from the table after some time and along side me.

  "Dance?" He asks.

  "I thought you'd never ask." I smile up at him and take his hand following him to the floor. Jeremy and Amber follow close behind us and stop next to us. I lean into him and put my arms around him as I wait for the next song praying it's a slow one. I'm jump for joy on the inside when it is. It also happens to be one of my favorites.

  "Enjoying yourself?" He asks.

  "More than you know." I look up at him. He kisses my forehead as his eyes are drawn away for a second. I almost think he's being perverted because he's looking down my chest. He grabs the elephant charm on my necklace and gives me that amazing dimpled smile.

  "You still have the necklace I gave you." He pulls me in closer and hugs me tight.

  "Of course I do. I have everything you gave me that night." I reply. "You remember it don't you?" I ask.

  "Like it was yesterday. It was probably the best night of my life." He grins.

  "Mine too."

  I spy Lily for the second time all night off to the side against a wall talking to a different man than the one I saw her with earlier. She sees me looking at her and narrows her eyes at me and leans in close to the guy in front of her. He turns and smirks at me. My heart literally drops to the pit of my stomach. I tense in Dex's arms and pull myself closer to him. In turn he squeezes me tighter. Suddenly I don't feel well and certainly don't want to be here. I turn Declan so I'm blocked from Brody's view. I want to tell him but I don't want him to cause a scene.

  "Declan." I mutter up at him.

  "Yea babe." He replies.

  "Don't look around, don't even cause a scene but Brody is here." I say quiet enough for only him to hear me. "I'll tell you where as long as you don't make it too obvious."

  "Just tell me Amity." He says his jaw ticking.

  "He's against the wall directly behind you, talking to Lily." I say. For a few seconds longer we resume our dancing. Nonchalantly he spins us both around. I see Lily still talking to him. This time she's flirting and has her hand on his arm laughing. She's an idiot.

  "Do you see him?" I ask and he nods. The song ends and he takes me back to the table. My heart is pounding in my chest. I don't want to leave because I don't want him to see my car or figure out where I live and follow us if he hasn't already. Dex sits me between Jason and Kaseton then turns and walks away.

  "Where are you going?" I ask panicked.

  "To have a little chat. Don't get up." He looks at both Jason and Kaseton making sure to get their attention. "Don't fucking let her move." He tells them angrily.

  "Alright man." Kaseton replies surprised at the sudden change in his mood.

&n
bsp; "Yea, no problem." Jason says. Declan walks away before I can say anything else. He goes off in the direction I showed him to find Brody and Lily.

  "What's going on?" Kaseton asks.

  "Lily is talking to him." I say to them.

  "Who?" Jason asks. I turn to Kaseton.

  "She's talking to him." I say looking him dead in the eyes. Kaseton looks at me knowingly and jumps up from his seat disappearing in the direction Declan went. As much as I love Jason, Kaseton made me feel safer. Now I have an eerie tingle running up my spine.

  "Who? Brody?" Jason asks and I answer him with a nod.

  "She wouldn't say anything to him would she, Jason?" I ask worried.

  "I wish I could answer that honestly." He replies worried now.

  "If he finds me alone he's going to kill me."

  "You're not alone and we won't let that happen to you." He tries to reassure me. "If I find out she's said anything at all I'm done with her. I'm not going to let her hurt one of my friends. I don't care if she is married to Kaseton."

  Kaseton returns to the table alone and grabs my hand. "Let's go, now!" He says yanking me from the table. I look up at him worried, I don't understand why do I have to leave this crowded bar. He wouldn't do something that stupid, would he?

  "What's going on? Where's Dex?"

  "I'll explain in a little bit once I get you out of here. Give me your keys. We have to take your truck. Here." He says tossing his keys to Jason and grabbing Jason's from him, he yanks me through the crowd practically carrying me. Is he really going to leave Lily here?

  We reach the large warehouse doors and Kaseton pulls me into his side with his arm around my waist. I see him looking around through all the cars and I catch myself doing the same. I don't see anything or anyone. He directs me to Jason's truck and I climb in the driver side door. He pulls out of the parking lot far too fast and nearly scares the hell out of me or I would have been if I wasn't use to his driving already.

  "Where are we going?" I ask him.

  "I'm suppose to take you to my house after we check on the girls. That's all Declan said." He informs me. "Lily fucked up big time, Amity. I'm so sorry." I stare at his profile, he doesn't take his eyes off the road and is dead set on getting where we need to be in a hurry. I've never seen him this worried. Scared is more like it. Nothing scared him but tonight something has.