The Supervillainy Saga (Book 4): The Science of Supervillainy

by Phipps, C. T.

  I looked around, then back at him. “I like it. Who does your decorating? Satan? Al Pacino? Al Pacino as Satan?”

  “I was going for a John Galt meets art deco meets Doctor Who’s Master thing,” Other Gary said, his joke without mirth. He was going through the motions of being me, and I had to wonder if that was all it took to impersonate me.

  “Yes,” Other Gary said, reading my mind. “All I have to do is act like a horny fourteen-year-old playing dress-up, and everyone assumes I’m you. Ooo, Star Wars, ooo video games, ooo comic books.”

  “I resent that remark,” I said. “I’m at least a horny twenty-year-old. I knew plenty of jackasses in college who were every bit as lecherous and nerdy as myself.”

  Other Gary shook his head. “I have no idea how you’ve managed to survive even a quarter of the things you’ve encountered.”

  “It’s one of life’s great mysteries,” I agreed.

  “Like why a man as inane and vapid as you attracts an endless parade of beautiful superhumans?”

  “Wouldn’t you know?” I asked, curious. “I mean, you had the Betty and Veronica thing with Mandy, Gabrielle, and Cindy back in your world too.”

  “That’s three people.”

  “Cindy is Jughead, whom I always maintained had a thing for Archie. Honestly, I think he should have given him a chance.”

  Other Gary pinched the bridge of his nose. “I can feel myself getting stupider talking to you.”

  “You’re welcome.” I pointed to him. “The trick to romance is confidence, caring about your partner, and being very good-looking. Being a white-haired pretty boy is amazingly effective, especially if you keep your mouth shut.”

  “Money helps too.”

  “Now let’s not be shallow.” I crossed my arms. “In any case, I’m going to now explain in detail why you suck. Expect me to make comparisons to the Transformers, Cobra Commander, and Gundam.”

  That was when Other Gary reached out with his hand and telekinetically gripped my throat like a certain iconic cinematic villain I’m not going to name.

  “Shut . . . up,” Other Gary said. “Please.”

  “‘Kay,” I choked out.

  “No more inane banter,” Other Gary said. “This is a serious conversation for serious people.”

  “This is a local shop for local people,” I said, struggling for every breath.

  Other Gary squeezed harder with his powers.

  “This is a counselor’s ship,” I choked out. “We’re on a diplomatic mission.”

  Other Gary let go and I fell to the ground. “Why can’t you act like an adult?”

  I couldn’t move. “Because . . . you’re an asshole.”

  Other Gary sighed. “You remind me of the way I used to be, except a lot more annoying.”

  “I can’t imagine why that used to be,” Other Gary said. “Unless you were secretly a hippie protesting Vietnam in your time.”

  “I was, actually.”

  I blinked. “How would the timeline even work? . . . You know, I don’t even care. I’m probably a war-bonds-gathering sidekick if I go through enough alternate timelines. OK, Tyrant Me, you have five minutes of me not ridiculing you until you choke me like . . . a choky person.”

  “I’m here to make you an offer,” Other Gary said. “So that we may have peace.”

  “In our time?” I suggested.

  Other Gary narrowed his eyes.

  “Hey man, you’re the one who allied with the Nazi president and no, I’m not going to let that go.”

  Other Gary growled, literally growled. “So that he might fall farther and harder. What we have here is a conflict that could result in the deaths of people you care for.”

  “Why do you care about me?” I asked. “You haven’t shown any hesitation in murdering people before. Afraid killing me will qualify as suicide?”

  “I could kill you and the others, but I don’t because I’m trying to be the good guy,” Other Gary said.

  I snorted. “That is a dumb frigging justification. Not that I want you to kill me. In fact, give all the dumb justifications you want as long they make it easier for me to kill you.”

  “The measure of good you can do is often measured by the amount of evil you’re willing to tolerate on the path to it,” Other Gary said. “One man’s hero is another man’s monster. Look at Vlad the Impaler and ask how he appeared to the Romanians.”

  “I’ll ask him next time he shows up to bite my friends,” I said. “I’m stopping you, First Citizen, because the people need me to.”

  “Please, do not talk like you’re doing this for the people,” Other Gary hissed. It caught me off guard because the anger behind it was tremendous. Far more in excess of any other comment I’d made so far.

  “Who else would I be doing this for?” I said. “You’re the tin-pot tyrant ruling over my city.”

  “My city.” Other Gary laughed. “Do you know why I’m ruling over Falconcrest City?”

  “Because you’re a psychopath? Because you get to be the Man until you get enough energy to rebuild your universe?”

  Other Gary smiled. It wasn’t a good look for him. “Partially, but not entirely.”

  “I showed you your wife’s ghost. She doesn’t want you to do this.”

  Other Gary ignored me. “Do want to know what finally, truly, drove me over the edge? To believe all the things you’ve seen, all the deeds I’ve done, and more are justified?”

  “Not really.” I shrugged. “That’s between you, God, and your publicist.”

  “The people.” Other Gary said the word as if he were cursing. “The people who elected President Omega and endorsed his campaign of genocide against Supers. Who stood by while he isolated Falconcrest City during the Brotherhood of Infamy’s attack. Who let him kill refugees, abuse immigrants, and wage war across the globe.”

  “The people aren’t responsible for President Omega,” I said. “He had mind-control and time-travel—”

  “Neither of which he needed to become president,” Other Gary said. “He won the election fairly. They may not have known he was a time-travelling Nazi from the future, but they knew he was a ruthless businessman who would do everything in his power to suppress Supers.”

  I stared at him. “That’s . . . democracy, I guess.”

  “And when they came for your daughter, Gizmo?” Other Gary said. “For your niece, for your sister?”

  “I’d kill them all,” I said. “I never said I was a good guy. I never tried to be.”

  “I did,” Other Gary said, his voice low and soft. “After my universe was destroyed and I saw you were living my life—I followed you for years, by the way—I spent my time walking the earth.”

  “Like Caine in Kung Fu,” I said.

  “We’ll let that reference slide. Because, really, it’s not a bad comparison,” Other Gary said. “I healed the sick, cleaned up environmental disasters, provided comfort to the traumatized, and used my Life-granted powers to make the world a better place. I was driven by the belief that, even if it wasn’t my world, this was a world worth saving.”

  “And electing President Omega ruined your life forever,” I said. “Not really bowling me over with your logic, OG. I mean, we have checks and balances for a reason—not that they did much good with him.”

  Other Gary got a haunted look in his face. “It was something a bit more traumatic.”

  I paused. “You tortured me for five years. I’m not in the mood to be your confessor.”

  “Go with it, and I will free a thousand prisoners,” Other Gary said.

  “Go ahead,” I said, wondering why he felt the need to share it with me, of all people.

  “Perhaps you are the only person he thinks would understand,” Cloak said.

  “Shut up,” I said. “Really.”

  “I was living in a trailer park with a migrant family,” Other Gary said, his voice low. “Trying to stay off the grid and keep out of the way of the other heroes. I’ve always felt they’ve wasted to
o much of their time fighting villains when they could be putting their efforts into better causes. The mother of the group, Sofia, was lovely, and I admit to developing a fondness for her that troubled me. I shouldn’t have been able to put aside my grief, even for a moment, but I did. I learned to love her and her daughters as if they were my own.”

  “I take it this story doesn’t end with a breakup over your favorite TV show,” I said.

  “No,” Other Gary said, growling. “After the election, some drunken fools drove into the place and threw Molotov cocktails into the camp. They were exuberant from Omega’s victory and believed that he would strike at illegal immigrants as well as Supers. Which he did, mind you. I was shopping for groceries when I returned to find the place ablaze and most of the camp dead. The tragedy was ruled an accident. After all, the sheriff was one of said drunken fools.”

  I stared at him. “I’m sorry.”

  “I killed those people and I used the energy from their deaths to raise Sofia and her daughters . . . or tried to. It didn’t work well because I was inexperienced with necromancy. Life, however, was kind to me and shared the secret of how to bring back the dead with the deaths of others. She also showed me just what would happen with President Omega.”

  I stared at him. “Different from starting World War Three and getting twelve million people killed?”

  “It was originally five billion,” Other Gary said. “President Omega thought I made sure his plan could go through, but the truth was, he didn’t need me. Ultragod refused to overthrow a democratically elected Chief of State until it was too late. When he finally was ready to move, his wife was already dead and he was not in the right head space. President Omega killed Ultragod and the rest of the heroes before his century-long reign of terror.”

  “So, you just helped him do his twice and reversed time,” I said. “Instead of, you know, stopping him!”

  I didn’t even bring up the fact that Other Gary was the one who killed Ultragod in this timeline. He was the one who had eliminated the world’s greatest superhero. Death had told me it wasn’t Ultragod’s time either, which meant Other Gary had seriously misread the situation, or he was lying to himself as well as to me.

  Other Gary’s eyes became cold. “Mankind put that monster in power. They needed to be punished for their choice. Even as I gathered all that energy from their deaths, I was making sure they paid the full consequences for their sins. They put President Omega in power, and even if their conscious minds don’t remember, their souls will.”

  “Never mind the people who voted for the other candidate,” I muttered. “So, what, you saw he was going to win so you helped him win? Yes, that’s such a great defense.”

  Other Gary looked down. “You may not believe it, but my actions are justified. I will rebuild my universe, but first, I’m going to give this world what it needs: direction. The millions who died in World War Three have already had more than their number saved. I’ve redrawn the world map and placed the superheroes in power. Soon, we will have a world directed by those who are genuinely good rather than politically powerful or rich.”

  I snorted. “And screw freedom.”

  “What use is freedom if people use it to hurt others?” Other Gary said. “Rulership belongs in the hands of the worthy.”

  “Which you qualify as, despite your statement that you want to punish the world for not voting the way you wanted them to as it tangentially related to a personal tragedy.”

  “Gary—”

  “Don’t even try to justify it. People may suck, but you’re worse.”

  Other Gary raised an eyebrow. “Please. How many thousands of people have died, even millions, because you decided to play supervillain instead of using your powers for good?”

  “I saved the world twice,” I snapped.

  “Did you? Or is that just what you tell yourself?”

  Other Gary’s words turned my stomach because they struck at one of my biggest personal fears: that I hadn’t done anything with my powers. Mandy had been the one fighting against the Brotherhood of Infamy during the city’s zombie apocalypse, and Gabrielle had been leading the charge against President Omega. I’d been the one to finally put down President Evil McEvilPants, but it had only been because of Diabloman’s sacrifice. What, exactly, had I done with my powers other than kill a bunch of people and rob others?

  “Don’t listen to him, Gary,” Cloak said, surprising me with his presence. “He’s mani—”

  Other Gary snapped his fingers and Cloak went silent.

  “What did you do?” I asked.

  “I made him sleep,” Other Gary explained. “Probably the first time he’s had a chance to rest since his death. Now, please, hear my offer out.”

  “Save it,” I said. “There’s not a damn thing you can offer me that I would be interested in.”

  “A safe place,” Other Gary said. “For you and your loved ones.”

  I opened my mouth to speak before closing it.

  Other Gary smiled. “Being a father changes things, doesn’t it? I, too, had children.”

  “Yeah, I saw your robots,” I said.

  Other Gary frowned. “They are just reminders. Dolls in the shape of the dead.”

  “Do they know that?”

  Other Gary ignored me. “I want to offer you a ticket, if you will, out of this reality. You, Mandy, Cindy, Gizmo, Amanda, and a healed Diabloman will depart from this universe into a nearly identical one without me. It will have all the superheroes and villains of this world, but no doppelgängers of you or me. You’ll be able to rob and steal to your heart’s content without ever having to think of this world again.”

  “You’ll forgive me if I find this sudden burst of generosity suspicious,” I said. “You know, what with keeping me imprisoned and tortured for five years.”

  “Undertown was designed to be a gilded cage.” Other Gary sneered at my ignorance. “It was identical to the neighborhood I lived in, with robots designed to do your bidding. Frankly, I was surprised you didn’t have the place a Roman orgy within a week.”

  “A gilded cage is still . . . you know, I don’t know why I even bother arguing with you. I’ve had conversations with internet trolls that were more productive. Nothing I say is going to change your mind about anything.”

  “No,” Other Gary said. “However, think about what I’m giving you. Diabloman will die unless my power heals him. I also know where your little underground base is. I’ve always known. It fits my plans to let resistance to my reign fester until I smack it down.”

  I narrowed my eyes. “You’d threaten a place where my daughter is?”

  Other Gary closed his eyes. “I’d threaten a place where Cindy is. Where Mandy is. Where—”

  I punched him in the face and sent him falling backward.

  Other Gary’s nose bled. He pinched it and laughed. “You have a chance to keep your family safe and avoid my fate. Because really, who are you fighting for? Because it’s not the people. They’ve already asked me to run for president. The only reason I won’t is because I’m already drafting the plans for the one-world government. I plan to put the bill through during the finals of the next reality-TV-show craze.”

  “I won’t accept your offer.”

  “You will,” Other Gary said. “Because if you don’t by tomorrow at noon, I’m going to kill everyone you care about, and we both know you’ll do anything to protect them.”

  With that, Other Gary was gone.

  And I awoke.

  Chapter Thirteen

  MUSINGS ON THE LOSS OF FRIENDS AND LOVE

  I woke up on the couch of the Crystal Palace’s lounge, staring up at the ceiling even as Other Gary’s words echoed in my mind. I was wearing a pair of boxer shorts and a t-shirt that Mister Inventor’s machines had generated for me. He had a whole big replicator system down here, which made me wonder if Other Gary really was releasing all the science he was claiming to.

  Getting up, my primary thoughts were about his offer. T
he chance to just leave this reality with my loved ones and forget it all. Was I willing to take it?

  Hell no.

  Still, I couldn’t say I wasn’t tempted. There was nothing like five years of being a prisoner in not only your body but also your mind to let you know you weren’t invincible. I’d successfully killed the worst president since Andrew Jackson and brought an end to World War II, only to get smacked down within seconds.

  Honestly, the biggest thing preventing me from picking up my ball and going home was that none of the others would go for it. Mandy wanted revenge; I could tell that by the subtle tics in her movement. Amanda also wanted revenge; she said so. Gabrielle was missing, and I wasn’t about to leave her behind until I knew what was happening. Cindy?

  Well, Cindy would go if she could stuff her picnic basket full of gold or diamonds. Diabloman couldn’t go since he was dying and the only thing that might save him was Other Gary’s reservoir of magic. I didn’t know this Mister Inventor Guy well enough to say what he’d do, but I suspected any man willing to go against the Society of Superheroes on moral grounds wasn’t likely to cut and run.

  “I don’t think you’re likely to run either, Gary,” Cloak said, in my head.

  “I’m a father now,” I said. “Like you said, that changes everything.”

  Cloak was silent.

  Picking up a black bathrobe with a big M on the back, I put it on and walked down the hall, looking for Mandy. Vampires didn’t really sleep, contrary to the whole coffin myth, and mostly just hibernated when they weren’t eating. One decent thing about Undertown was there were plenty of people who enjoyed being snacked on. That was probably the only thing I liked about the place since, for whatever reason, biting wasn’t one of my kinks. The aftermath? Yes. The actual throat gnawing? Not so much.

  Much to my surprise, I found the robot-manned kitchen and Amanda instead. Amanda was sitting in a pair of house shorts with a goth Hello Kitty shirt on and her hair tied in pigtails. She was eating a bowl of cereal with Guinevere on as the mascot.

  “Hey, Gary,” Amanda said. “Having trouble sleeping?”