The Supervillainy Saga (Book 4): The Science of Supervillainy

by Phipps, C. T.

  “You could say that,” I said, looking through a half-dozen bags of imported expensive coffees as well as hand-ground beans for the cheapest strongest coffee Mister Inventor had. I then started making myself a cup, since he didn’t have a coffee pot but one of those Keurig things. “My bastard self from another reality said I should take you guys to another reality or he’ll attack this place tomorrow.”

  Amanda stopped mid-spoonful. “Does he know where we are?”

  “Yeah, probably,” I said. “I don’t think he ever didn’t. He’s a smug bastard that way.”

  “Dammit,” Amanda said.

  I started making my coffee. “It’s not a bad idea if we want to be like Klingons and stick to the exact letter of our agreement. We could go to the other reality, get a bunch of heroes or villains together, then beat the shit out of him later.”

  Amanda frowned. “I don’t think exile is an option.”

  “Then just evacuate anyone we care about,” I said.

  “I wish I’d done that earlier,” Amanda muttered.

  “So, what was Wyatt like?” I asked.

  “Wyatt Patterson.” Amanda shrugged. “A regular ordinary human being. Not a superhero or villain. Not rich either.”

  “Because I’d love for my girlfriend to open my posthumous description like that. Gary Karkofsky wasn’t a particularly smart, nice, or capable man. He didn’t succeed very often, but he was good-looking, and that’s really what counts in life.”

  Amanda gave a gallows laugh. “Wyatt was smart, talented, and good in bed. Galahad was all of those things too, but I guess I wanted a part of my life away from the crazy.”

  I finished making my cup of coffee and tasted it. Ah, bitter and black like my heart. “Yet you ended up pulling him into your resistance.”

  “Yes,” Amanda said. “I got him killed.”

  “You sure he’s dead?” I asked.

  “Yes,” Amanda said. “I am. That’s why I went to Undertown. I didn’t have anything else to lose.”

  “You always have something more to lose,” I said. “I learned that when I thought Mandy had died.”

  “But you never gave up trying to get her back,” Amanda said. “You made it work.”

  “Did I?” I said, sipping my drink. “So, what are you thinking?”

  “That I feel guilty having slept with Galahad,” Amanda muttered, confirming a suspicion I’d had upon seeing her. “When I should be mourning. Also, I’m considering your offer.”

  “Emotions are complex,” I said. “Besides, I didn’t exactly cover myself in glory with my awesome plan of going up to the First Citizen’s front door and trying to knock it down.”

  Amanda stared at me. “Yet you also got us linked up with the only other resistance group I know of. You have the luck of the Irish, Gary.”

  “First, my family is Polish, and second, the Irish have luck nearly as bad as the Jewish,” I said. “Which I don’t use as a comparison lightly.”

  “My family is Japanese and Caucasian,” Amanda said. “My bastard dad married a model when he made his million—which I lost.”

  “We’ll steal it back,” I said simply. “We’ll also fix Diabloman, save the world, and live lives of decadent luxury like the dwarves once they murdered Smaug.”

  “Most of the dwarves died,” Amanda said.

  “Which is why Tolkien is awesome,” I said, finishing my coffee. “He doesn’t sugarcoat these things. When people get into combat, people die. How was peace achieved among the elves, dwarves, and humans? By giving them someone else to hate. Hell, want me to blow your mind? The goblins were in the right. They were after a bunch of murderous assassins who killed their king. The Great Goblin hadn’t threatened the dwarves either until they discovered Thorin’s group had racist elven swords of minority killing.”

  Amanda stared at me. “It’s reached the point where you’re starting to sound wise to me. That’s how depressed I am.”

  “Since you’re foolishly listening to me, let me give you another piece of advice.” I took a deep breath. “Don’t ever feel guilty for taking what happiness you have in this world.”

  Amanda gave a half smile. “Mandy is down the hall, by the way, if you’re looking for her.”

  “Thanks.” I gave her a kiss on the forehead, then put my cup down.

  “You’re a good man, Gary. I don’t understand how one of you became the First Citizen.”

  “Don’t overthink it,” I said. “Other Gary tried to be a good man and became a very bad wizard. I’m a very bad man. I just am a very good wizard.”

  “Are you quoting that James Franco movie?” Amanda asked.

  “You’re dead to me.”

  Mandy was the only person still up in the palace. She was in the security room in a large chair set before a group of monitors. It was an expansive chamber with hundreds of screens showing scenes from all over the city in real time, as well as a few set to the various news agencies. CNN talked about how the last supervillain incident had happened months ago, with the one today at the Merciful Building being a false alarm.

  “What are you doing?” I asked, walking in.

  Fox News was having an interview with Sovi-Ape (now Ameri-Ape), who had the same glassy stare as some of the people brainwashed in Undertown. Sovi-Ape was discussing how meeting Merciful had changed his life and how he’d devoted his life to constructing life-saving sciences for the good of all. The local news was reporting a cat that had learned how to walk on two legs. So really, not everything had changed in this Brave New World.

  “Trying to figure out a strategy for dealing with Other Gary,” Mandy said, picking up a white box of Chinese food and eating a forkful of rice.

  “What are you eating?”

  “Maggots. I’m eating maggots,” Mandy said, turning around. I could feel her mental influence brush against my brain. Thankfully, I pushed past it.

  I stared at her. “Mind tricks don’t work on me. Only kisses.”

  Mandy smiled and leaned up to kiss me on the lips, then pulled away. “Did you have a good time with Cindy and your daughter?”

  “Yes,” I said. “We caught up on all the Star Wars movies we missed. Also, we’re set to watch the live-action version of Cthulhu Armageddon. Felicity Jones, Katee Sackhoff, and Idris Elba are the heroes, with David Warner as the villain. It’s past Gizmo’s bedtime, though, so Cindy went off to tuck her in before getting some shut-eye herself.”

  “Impressive,” Mandy said. “So, you didn’t have sex?”

  I stared at her. “You know I’m not actually comfortable with cheating on you, right?”

  “Unless I’m a soulless monster wandering around town, killing people.”

  “Yes, exactly.”

  Mandy shrugged. “I’m two hundred years old, Gary. I’ve been married to versions of you and Cindy. Just understand that if you want a relationship with another woman, I might too. Or another man. Also, if we’re going to construct harem chambers for slaves, then we’ll pick them out together.”

  “I’m really hoping you’re kidding, as otherwise, you’ve slipped further into the Dark Lord role than I have.”

  “All will love me and despair.” Mandy smirked. “I still believe in doing the right thing, but the past two centuries have been murder on my idealism. I understand, now, that we don’t live in the kind of four-color world I thought we did, but a much more dark and cynical one. It just had the garish colors of a comic book with a much seedier underbelly.”

  I paused, finally getting enough will up to ask. “Are you still the same Mandy I love? I mean, you’ve spent most of your life without me. In another time and another place. I mean, this is really strange to me.”

  Mandy looked over her shoulder at me. “Gary, you were the one constant in the war against President Omega. While I was fighting against the earth’s dictator, all I could rely on was you. Everyone else here I know and treasure as well, even if they’re not precisely the same people I knew. They’re close enough for me.”


  I blinked. “Wow, that’s really insulting.”

  Mandy shook her head. “You should take it as a compliment. I’m here, after all, working with you to bring down an empire.”

  “Empires are bad,” I said. “Pretty much by definition.”

  Mandy stared at the streets. “Our politics have always been different, Gary. You grew up among the poor and disadvantaged of New Angeles, while I was a daughter of a military family from Falconcrest City’s upper middle class. I’ve always believed the world needed a strong firm hand from those smart enough to know the truth of how the world worked. Administrating the human race’s future is something the smartest and wisest should do rather than the multitudes.”

  I stared at her. “Careful, Mandy. You’re channeling your inner fascist.”

  “Other Gary and the Society of Superheroes are doing a spectacular job with the limited democracy enforced here in the United States,” Mandy said. “The Foundation for World Harmony has the authority it needs to dismantle crime as well as threats to civilization. Technology and the basic standard of living are on the rise. Medicine, education, and a living wage are not issues.”

  “All it required was to ignore the people in the prisons and underfoot.”

  “That’s how all societies work,” Mandy said. “In any case, we can improve the lives of the bottom rungs of society once we take over.”

  “Once we what now?”

  “In any case, I’ve found Other Gary’s weakness.” Mandy put away her Chinese food, then typed on the keyboard in front of her. I wondered how Mandy ate regular food as a vampire and how she’d managed to get it a hundred miles below the earth’s surface, but then decided it didn’t matter.

  I did a double take. “Eh? Just like that?”

  An image of an old abandoned power plant appeared on the computer screens in front of us.

  “There’s only one person who knows him better than me—you,” Mandy said. “I just had to think about what you’d do if you didn’t always hold yourself back.”

  “Are you sure you’re not Anti-Mandy? You’re coming off like my own personal Lana Beniko, here.”

  “Who?”

  I tried some other options. “Mara Jade? Ada Wong? Fiona Vulpe? The Baroness from G.I. Joe?”

  Mandy rolled her eyes. “Just look.”

  Mandy continued typing until all the screens showed a single image of an abandoned coal power plant that was marked for condemnation. Metal fences surrounded it and there were numerous other abandoned buildings around it. Even so, there were things about it that didn’t quite sit right.

  “Let me guess—this was made to look like crap because it contains something important,” I said.

  “Yes, I think so,” Mandy said. “It’s the only part of Falconcrest City there’s been no work on for the past five years, except there are signs that a massive amount of work was done on it. It’s also centrally located over a collection of ley lines linking all the locations for Other Gary’s crystal towers and the power network he’s set up across the East coast. It’s the source of the free electricity he’s given the United States.”

  I stared at her. “He’s using life-force to power the country?”

  “I don’t think so,” Mandy said. “I think he’s just storing whatever is powering the East coast in the same place he’s keeping the necromantic energy he’s collecting. I can’t say what that would—”

  “Gabrielle,” I said.

  “What?” Mandy said.

  “How do you keep the Woman of Titanium imprisoned without killing her?” I said. “You keep her drained of power indefinitely.”

  Mandy blinked. “He wouldn’t.”

  “It’s what I would do,” I said. “If I was a complete monster.”

  “Son of a bitch,” Mandy said. “He loved his version of Gabrielle, though, didn’t he?”

  “Other Gary doesn’t love any of us,” I said simply. “To him, we’re all just pale imitations of the people he loved. Still, that power plant is perfect as a target. If we can destroy the place, maybe we can release all that energy or use it against him.”

  “It won’t be that easy.”

  I slumped my shoulders. “It never is.”

  “I hacked into Other Gary’s database to divert some of his drones for a scan before crashing them.” Mandy frowned, looking deep in thought. “What I saw indicates the place is crawling with laser implants and has a good . . . oh, thousand robots guarding it.”

  “Great,” I said. “Let me guess, the place is also rigged to explode like Undertown.”

  “Probably.” Mandy looked back at me again. “We need an army to take this place down.”

  I stared at the place. “I know where to get one.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  WHERE WE HEAD TO CLUB INFERNO

  So, just so we’re clear, you want to go recruit an army of supervillains to help. This is a stupid plan,” Mandy said, walking behind me as we sneaked through the allies of Falconcrest City’s Undeveloped District. The moon was high in the air, just barely visible through clouds that obscured the city skyline to our right.

  “Are any of his plans ever not stupid?” Amanda asked, following behind. All three of us were wearing black hoodies and black blue jeans, which was about the cheapest approximation of ninja outfits you could possibly make, but served as decent camouflage and simultaneously made us look harmless.

  The Undeveloped District was right on the edge of the factory where Mandy believed Other Gary kept his magical reservoir. It was the part of Falconcrest City that hadn’t been demolished and replaced by futuristic skyscrapers or technology. The place looked exceptionally crowded. Hundreds of century-old buildings were packed to the rim with people who hadn’t yet been “relocated” to new housing or were simply trying to stay out of the new regime’s way.

  A curfew had been instituted in the place per various signs; drones flew overhead, while military robots patrolled the streets. There was nothing quite like treating the streets like a warzone to make people feel safe. We’d passed a homeless guy who’d been gunned down and tagged for collection.

  “Where are you even going to find an army of supervillains?” Amanda asked. “Most of them are dead, brainwashed, or imprisoned in places they can’t get out of. Which is an accomplishment by itself.”

  “I suspect more supervillains are free than the public or Other Gary realizes,” I said. “One advantage we have over my doppelgänger is the fact that he’s always been a hero. He doesn’t have connections to the quote-unquote criminal underworld. He can hit it with the fury of his big fascist hammer—”

  “That sounds like a euphemism,” Mandy said.

  “It’s not,” I said, clinging to the walls of the alleyways as we struggled to stay out of the well-patrolled streets. “But he can’t actually know where all of the bolt holes and secrets are, which your average smart supervillain might. Places they could go that would allow them to hold out until things cooled down.”

  “Like where?” Amanda said.

  “Club Inferno,” I said.

  “You’re right, this is a stupid plan,” Amanda said. “Gary, I’d ask you if you’re insane, but that’s like asking whether water is wet.”

  “For those of us newly returned to this century?” Mandy asked.

  “Club Inferno is a myth,” Amanda said. “A sort of ghost story for the cowardly and—”

  “Superior lot,” I finished for her.

  Amanda rolled her eyes. “It’s a kind of . . . God, I hate to do this, but I have to make a Star Wars reference—”

  “Give into the Dark Side,” I said.

  “Oh, shut up!” Amanda snapped, struggling not to smile. “Club Inferno is kind of a Mos Eisley for the powered underworld. It’s an extra-dimensional club supposedly carved from hell itself. The place provides every kind of pleasure imaginable. It also gives villains replacements for lost equipment.”

  “It gives equipment?” Mandy asked, watching a huge four-legged tank walk by. It
was surrounded by red, white, and blue armored troopers who looked like President Omega’s Darklight troopers, only with a paint job.

  Amanda waited for them to pass by before responding. “Yes. It’s like a kind of living nightclub and supply house for evil. It doesn’t exist, though. It’s a rumor to cover—”

  “I’ve been there,” I said. “On many occasions.”

  Amanda closed her eyes. “Of course you have.”

  “So, I never tried to recruit people here in the previous two timelines?” I asked Mandy.

  Mandy shook her head. “No. Then again, maybe that was because President Omega left most of this city rubble during the opening hours of the war.”

  “Ouch,” I said, grimacing.

  “Is it like what she says?” Mandy asked. “It seems like the kind of place you’d be at home at.”

  “It’s less Mos Eisley than Studio 54. Every pleasure imaginable indeed. The place rewards the wicked in accordance with the evil in your heart. I don’t think it’s a fragment of hell. I think it’s a demon that just so happens to take the form of a place.”

  “Going there was a mistake,” Cloak said.

  “Says you,” I mentally replied.

  “How much did it give you?” Amanda asked, cutting to the heart of a conversation.

  “Enough,” I replied. “It would have offered me more, but I was trying to resurrect Mandy. If I’d been trying to murder someone or kill everyone in Delaware, I imagine it would have given me a lot more.”

  “Why would it help us then?” Amanda said, shaking her head.

  “We’re trying to kill a guy who has brought order, stability, and prosperity to the world,” I said, shrugging. “I imagine it’s willing to give us whatever we need to kill Other Gary.”

  “What?” Amanda said, stopping. “That’s . . . that’s ridiculous! He’s a tyrant!”

  I shrugged. “One man’s villain is another man’s hero.”

  “Bullshit,” Amanda said. “How are we supposed to find this place anyway?”

  I looked at her. “We’re here, actually.”

  Amanda stared at me. “What’s next, speak friend for open?”