Crushing Misery

by Kinsey Taylor

  “I am going to fuck you here and take all of you as I should have done a long time ago. Every inch of this body will be mine.”

  Reaching around, he slips his hand inside the front of my dress. Grasping my bra, he yanks it down hard pressing his erection against me on the back of my leg. Pinching one of my nipples, he rolls it in between his fingers keeping his assault on my ass at a steady rhythm. Then it happens, Troy pulls out his fingers. I hear the sound of his zipper followed by the weight of his belt hitting along me as his trousers slide down to the floor with a clink.

  Chills take over me; the fear building so intensely that my lungs compress and fill with a rising burn, cutting away the air supply. I start convulsing shaking so hard and I feel his grip tighten against me. I gasp for air clawing with my nails digging into his skin. I try hitting then scratching in my attempt to get away from his hold on me and then darkness absorbs me.

  I don’t remember much of what happened next; I am shaken awake. Troy is yelling my name. My eyes open as I lie there in his arms, and I blink from the bright lights overhead and stare up at him. I turn my head away from him, and sitting there on the floor to my right, I notice droplets of blood on and around the sofa. The flashes come to me like a punch to the gut. He had done this to me. Picking me up, he brings me upstairs and gently places me onto the bed. I turn away crossing my arms over my chest closing my eyes to erase the assault from moments before. He kisses me on the back of my head, and I shiver and hear his faint whispers into my hair.

  “I’m sorry, baby.”

  I can’t speak. I am usually numb to his touch but not tonight. Tonight I felt every inch of his assault; I try very hard to go away to another place, but it never comes.

  Corbin

  Standing there watching after her is the hardest thing I have ever done. Self-restraint – at least in my line of work – isn’t foreign to me, but these feelings for someone I knew only briefly as a teenager are messing with my head. The beast wanted nothing more than to demolish that fucker for the way he manhandled her. The nerve of this guy talking the way he did to her. I swear if that fucker hurts her I will give him the punishment of his life.

  I pace back and forth in front of that restaurant for twenty minutes trying to calm myself. Someone places a hand on my shoulder. Whipping my head up, I see Jagger watching me.

  “You okay bro?”

  I just shake my head, shrugging.

  “I’m going to head out to my hotel room for a few. We still on for meeting up in the lounge bar after this thing’s over?” I ask.

  “Hell, yes! It’s my last night as a free man.”

  I laugh, “Yeah, Jagger as if you’ve ever been a free man.”

  “Hey, not all of us are playboys in the spotlight like you, dude.”

  Still laughing, I say, “Yeah well, it’s not all its chalked up to be, buddy.” I slap him on the back.

  “Let’s get back inside. I’m going to say my goodbyes to everyone.”

  Jagger stopped me before going inside.

  “What’s going on with you and my sister?”

  “I don’t know what you are talking about, Jag?”

  “You’re not dodging this one. I saw the way you two were exchanging looks back and forth. I also saw the showdown between you and her husband.”

  “I don’t know, Jagger, I just don’t know.”

  “You’re a good guy, Corbin, but she’s not like the other groupies you’re usually with. She’s a good girl,” he says.

  “I know, man. Trust me, I know.”

  “She thinks she has us all fooled, you know.”

  “What?” I turn to him staring at him confused.

  “She’s not happy and if anyone deserves to be happy, it’s her. She’s been through so much and I keep quiet, but I’m about to break. Did you see the way Troy was looking at her tonight? I almost lost it.”

  “Yeah, well that makes two of us. You should talk to her about this.”

  “I hate being a dick because we’re friends and all, but if something happens between you two and you hurt her, I’m going to come after you. I don’t care if you can kick my ass either. She means too much to me and to my family.”

  I pull up to the hotel and sit in my car trying to wrap my brain around what’s happening between Kennedy and me. I head to my room, and slide my keycard in. Heading straight for my gym bag, I throw my workout clothes on. I’ll try to distract myself with working out for now, and then it will be with booze, and maybe even a warm body.

  Sitting at the bar, I have already had two shots and four beers by the time Jagger and the boys arrive. I order us all a round of shots. Tossing them back, I watch as Karly enters the bar, headed in my direction.

  A few more drinks down, and Karly and I are stumbling to the elevators and up to my room. As the doors close, she attacks me, her hands roaming over me nonstop. When the doors to my floor open, we separate long enough to stumble out. I reach for my keycard, Karly’s hands still roaming along my hips, every now and then she brushes against my dick. I’m semi-hard but not ready to go. As I place the card inside the door, what I am about to do hits me tenfold.

  I turn towards Karly and say, “I’m sorry, love, but I can’t do this.”

  “Are you serious? What the hell, Corbin?”

  “I’m sorry, we both have to be up early and with as much alcohol as I have consumed tonight there isn’t much action that’ll be happening.”

  “I knew you were a tease, but I didn’t know you were an asshole.”

  “Goodnight.”

  Shoving the door open as I walk inside, slamming it shut behind me. I fall against it, trying to figure out what’s going on with me.

  Chapter Ten

  Kennedy

  Morning came and went too fast. Jumping up, I head straight for the stairs as I hear Troy calling for me.

  “Fuck! Coffee’s not going to make itself down here you know,” he yells up at me from the bottom of the stairs.

  Damn, I forgot to set the timer last night.

  “Yes, I know. I’m sorry. I was coming down to get it started for you.”

  “Would have been nice to wake up and have my coffee already waiting for me,” he says.

  “Why didn’t you set the fucking timer last night?” he yells, startling me. "Isn’t that why you bought this expensive goddamn coffee maker in the first place? I don’t work my ass off giving you and that brat of yours nice things so you can take advantage of me. You are such a stupid bitch. You can’t do anything right, can you?” he says.

  I look up and stay quiet. I hurry around him, getting the coffee together, shuddering at exactly why I forgot to set the timer in the first place. I start to walk away when he grabs me by my arm.

  “You’re hurting me,” I say as he slams me up against the wall by both my arms trapping me with his large body.

  “Shut the fuck up and get my coffee, you damn worthless piece of shit,” he shouts, staring into my eyes. I look up at him waiting for what’s coming next.

  “Let me go, Troy!” I scream.

  He grips me tighter and says,

  “You grew balls today, huh? Who the fuck do you think you are yelling at?”

  “I’m sorry. I just want you to show me some respect.”

  “RESPECT! I got your respect right here, bitch,” he spits directly into my face. I gasp, my hand coming up in complete and utter shock as I stand there staring up at him.

  “That’s right, bitch, respect that shit right there.”

  He lets me go but not before he reaches down and grabs me between my legs. I thrash trying to get away.

  “Just remember today, when you are eye-fucking that asswipe, this pussy is mine. I mean it, Kennedy. Don’t forget--MINE! If I find out you mess around on me, I’ll make sure everyone knows what an unfit mother you are. Oh, the fun I’ll have with you.”

  Releasing me, he turns his back on me.

  I blow out the breath I was holding. I try getting my footing straight, holding myself up
against the wall as I’m shaking so hard and wipe the spit from my face. He’s managed to do some shitty stuff to me in the past, but this takes the cake. There is no love, respect, or even a mutual friendship here anymore.

  I push off the wall, go over to the cupboard and get down his coffee mug. I pour his coffee and place it next to him. Turning away, he starts out of the kitchen, then the next thing I hear is the front door slamming shut. I stand there staring after him in shock. Kennedy! Get out! Get out! Get out!

  Running upstairs, I jump into the shower as tears cascade down my face, becoming one with the down pouring water. I welcome the numbness washing over me like a warm blanket. I’m grateful Troy won’t be attending Jagger’s wedding. His caseload at work has him working extremely long hours. I’m happy for the break. Dressing in yoga pants, a tank top, and sweater, I grab my dress and accessories for the wedding and Ashlynn’s too.

  Loading my car, I head out for the First Congregational Church of Spokane. I pull up, parking right in front to unload all my camera gear. It never ceases to amaze me how it takes my breath away every time I lay eyes on this church. It reminds me of a castle fit for a princess. I used to call it that when I first started coming to church here with the Finley’s when I was ten years old. It was where I dreamt of getting married.

  Mom and Jagger walk around me and start pulling out my bags of gear. I don’t know what I ever did to deserve these wonderful people, but they are where my happiness lives. Ashlynn comes running out with Bruce in tow. She catches sight of me and runs for me.

  “Mommy!” she yells.

  We all walk into the church, and I stop dead in my tracks taking in this magical masterpiece in front of me. It is a perfect place to get married, and something washes over me the minute I step foot inside taking with it all my fears and anxiety. I always think back to a Bible reading from Isaiah 41:10, “I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

  The church is decorated with tea lights with small, dainty, bright pink and orange flowers. Some look very exotic.

  “This is breathtaking, Mom.”

  She comes over, wrapping me in a side arm hug, just as Jagger runs to the opposite side pulling me into him. I was a Mom-and-Jagger sandwich. Laughing, I look between the two of them.

  “Glad you could do this for me, sis. No one takes badass pics like you. I wouldn’t have trusted anyone but you,” Jagger says.

  “Jagger, please curb your language; we are in the Church of God for goodness sakes, son,” Mom says to him.

  Smiling up at him I shake my head as I squeeze both of them back. He laughs in response.

  “Okay, peeps, let’s get this party started,” he yells out.

  “Jagger! We are in church!” Mom says, giving him the stink eye.

  “If I can’t celebrate in church, then where can I, Mom?” Smacking me on my butt, he takes off running. The pain from Troy’s assault last night hits me hard, shooting through me and spreading the pain along my insides. I stagger and stand still, giving myself a minute to adjust to the pain.

  I start pulling my camera gear out, setting up my tripods for two camcorders, and double-checking that my two cameras are fully charged and ready. I can’t forget to test out the microphones at the altar. I walk to the back where Mom and the girls are getting ready. Listening to my mom and Ashlynn’s conversation is priceless. Mom is combing her hair as I stand there taking in the moment, watching as my two-year-old tells her Momo all about how her Barbie needs a Ken.

  “She tan’t get mawied without him, Momo.”

  I laugh and go over to save her. Ever since Jagger and Paige announced their wedding, that’s all Ashlynn can talk about. Laughing, I run after her, picking her up and tickling her. She squeals and giggles. I almost drop her because my arm feels as if it’s on fire. Justeen notices and comes running over to me.

  “You ok sis?” she questions in concern.

  “Yeah! Yeah! I’m fine. Really! No worries.”

  Pulling up my sleeve, Justeen gasps as I flinch away from the pain. I yank my arm away from her while tugging my sleeve back down. She looks up at me with anger in her eyes.

  “What the hell is this, Kennedy?”

  “Keep your voice down. It’s nothing.”

  “This is not nothing! Who did this to you? Was it that fucktard, Troy?”

  “Justeen!” Mom yells out. “Watch your mouth, Ashlynn’s right here.”

  I’m hit with a flashback of last night. Troy was accusing me of something going on with Corbin. Troy wrenching my arm, holding me pinned against the couch. Torturing me. Raping me.

  Mom’s voice brings me out of it.

  “What’s on your mind, Kennedy?”

  “Nothing, Mom, I’m just deep in thought, going over everything before the wedding starts. Making sure I didn’t miss anything, and everything’s in place.”

  Grabbing my dress, I walk over and start changing. Justeen is there waiting for me. Everyone else has left the room when I step back in.

  “What’s going on, sis? Did he do what I think he did?”

  “Yes, Justeen! Just leave it alone today. Please! I’m begging you. I’m barely holding myself together. I just want to be able to focus on what I need to do. You all make me happy, and right now I need to push this as far away from my mind as possible.”

  She walks over, wrapping her arms around me and says, “Okay! Okay! I’m sorry! For now, I’ll leave it be. Whatever you need, just know I’m always here for you. Nothing you could ever tell me would make me love you any less. You know that, right?”

  Tears roll down my face, and she looks up at me.

  “I’m sorry, I just worry about you.”

  Nodding, I walk over to fix my make up once again, taking one last look at myself. I look good in this dress and damn if all that hard work, sweat, and even some tears are worth feeling as good as I do. Walking over I pick up Ashlynn. She looks at me and says, “Mommy you look so beautiful.”

  “Thanks, baby, so do you. You ready to walk down the aisle and drop flowers?”

  She nods her head yes with so much excitement in her eyes, but I notice the naughty grin she’s sporting.

  “You going to be a good girl and do as you were told?”

  Another nod, the naughty grin never leaving her face.

  “What did Uncle Jagger put you up to?” I ask her.

  Shrugging her shoulders she says, “Notting Mommy I pwomise. Cwoss my heart.”

  She even does the cross with her hand over her heart. Yeah, like I would fall for that one. Walking out, I place her down and take her hand in mine. I walk her over to my mom.

  “Okay, I’ll be back. Please be a good girl, Ashlynn.” Grabbing my camera from the stand, I take a couple test shots. I glance at the photos.

  Here goes nothing.

  I start taking pictures of everyone walking in and, of course, of my goofy-ass brother with all his groomsman escorting the guests to their seats. I hear the music start to play and in walks Ashlynn and the ring bearer throwing flowers at people.

  I look over at Jagger, and he’s laughing like a loon with the guests joining in. He is lucky today is his day. Half way down the aisle she stops, points at Jagger, busts out dancing in the aisle, then starts running like a wild, crazy monkey making noises like one, too. I’m just about to say something when she runs up to him jumping into his arms; they even fist bump.

  The things that brother of mine teaches my daughter. I look at him all smiles. He then puts her down, and she turns and whacks poor Corbin right in the balls with her basket and down the poor guy goes. All I can think as everyone starts laughing, is this really isn’t happening. Here I am catching it all on camera and video.

  I laugh and shake my head. The wedding march starts to play just as a very red faced hunched over Corbin stands holding his junk as everyone rises. I walk to the front aisle and start taking picture after picture as Paige starts down the aisle with her dad. Her dress is similar to A
shlynn’s except Ashlynn’s doesn’t have the crystal beading cascading down the front of her dress. It even has a heart shaped lace beaded train. Her hair is swept up in a soft-coiled bun. She’s a vision of breath-taking beauty.

  As the ceremony comes to an end, I gather the wedding party and families to take all the necessary photos I can. I think I have them all until mom says, “Now let’s get one with the whole family and all my kids together.”

  “But then Kennedy, won’t be able to be in the pictures, too, Mom.”

  “I got this,” Corbin yells out. I look up at Mr. Scrumptious The Adonis as Corbin comes over reaching for my camera.

  “Just show me what buttons to push,” he says with a smirk and winks at me. I’m frozen. I can’t speak.

  Laughing, Jagger comes up behind me and says, “You okay there Ked? Cat got your tongue?”

  Coming closer, “You think he’s hot don’t you?”

  I gasp and turn to look at him. He’s all smiles and laughter, the smug bastard. Turning around, I bat him away.

  “Jagger!” I say in warning.

  I blush and look away. You’d think I was a dog in heat or something.

  “So, you going to show me or am I just going to start snapping photos and hope for the best,” Corbin questions.

  “What? Oh, sorry! Yeah, right. Here, let me show you.”

  Pull yourself together girl!

  “Ok, you look in here.” I point to the viewfinder turning the dial to auto. “All you have to do is point at what you want to take pictures of and push this button,” I point to the shutter release button. “You got it?”

  “Got it, Boss. This isn’t my first time taking pictures.”

  The smug-ass looks over at me and winks. I walk away laughing and get into position with my family. After about half a dozen pictures, we wrap up our family photo session. I am walking over to Corbin to collect my camera, and he starts clicking away at me. Raising my arms up, I cover my face with my hands so he can’t get a shot of me. All I can do is smile and laugh as he joins in with the laughter. Jagger runs over from behind me, grabs me in a chokehold and starts giving me a noogie. I am shocked but as I toss and turn trying to get away, it is no use. He is much stronger than I am. I hear Corbin clicking away, still shooting picture after picture. I’m laughing hysterically. I glance up, and he says, “It’s your brother’s special day after all.”