Crushing Misery

by Kinsey Taylor

  “It’s so great to see you, my dear. How are you tonight?” Janice says.

  I swallow down the lump of pain and look into her eyes and say, “Better now that I’m here with you.”

  “Is everything okay, Kennedy?” Janice asks.

  I nod my head yes, buying myself a minute.

  “I truly couldn’t be more excited for our family today, Mom.”

  I wasn’t going to let what was going on in my personal life affect today. The smile on Janice’s face is priceless. The biggest McCheesmo smile beams across her face. All the hate and fear are pushed aside for the next few hours.

  “Where should I start setting up? I want to make sure all of my equipment fits and works in the areas I have to work with. I want to do a test run to lessen my stress for tomorrow.”

  Just then, Bruce walks around the corner. Ashlynn didn’t even have time to squeal this time. Her Popo is running for her. She takes off, and my heart stops as I see the two of them running into each other’s arms. He picks her up and throws her into the air catching her and spinning her around laughing.

  “You ready to practice your walk down the aisle with Liam and throw some flowers, my sweet girl?” he asks her.

  Giggling, she smiles, grabbing his face with her tiny little hands, bringing her nose against his.

  “Yes, Popo! Let’s do dis!” she shouts, throwing her hand straight up into the air.

  Laughing, Bruce puts her down next to him and takes her hand in his. They walk over to where the wedding party is gathering. I spot Jagger running over to Ashlynn as he lifts her in his arms and with the other shakes my dad’s hand bringing him into a full hug, squishing Ashlynn in the process. He then whispers something into Ashlynn’s ear. A smile crosses over her face, and she nods.

  Oh, lord, this can’t be good where Jagger’s concerned. What’s he up to now?

  Double checking everything, sadness fills me with thoughts of what my parents would think if they knew what the douche Troy was doing to me now and the things he was saying in front of and to Ashlynn. They would be so disappointed in me. Hell, I was disappointed in myself. They taught me better than this; I hate to say I failed miserably. I failed the most important people in my life, Ashlynn, the Finley’s, and most of all myself. I have let them down in every way possible. Maybe I’m more like my biological parents than I thought. Tears start to fill my eyes.

  No, I can’t think like that. Stop it Kennedy. I snap myself out of this funk. A couple of girls are pointing in my direction. Turning my head, I realize there is someone behind me. My insides clench and tighten as I set eyes on Corbin, dressed in black slacks, a deep blue button up dress shirt, and a dark silver-grey tie. I just stand there in shock as my eyes roam up along his tall, muscular frame, taking inventory of his features and assets. His eyes sparkle as he stands there staring back at me setting my skin blazing with heat.

  I flush and say, “You! What are you doing here?”

  He chuckles and moves closer, closing the gap between us, and the most intense feeling shoots through me, moisture building between my legs.

  “Hello to you, too,” he says. Jagger comes running over and pulls me into a bear hug, lifting me off the ground and spinning me around as Dad did to Ashlynn only moments before.

  “What’s with the men in my family lifting us girls off the ground and twirling us around?”

  “Huh?” he says with a puzzled look. Placing me back on my feet, he shrugs his shoulders and looks at me oddly.

  “What?” I say.

  “Nothing,” he says back.

  “So, I see you bumped into my best man, Corbin. You remember him don’t you, Ked?”

  “Yes, I remember.” Corbin steps closer, placing out his hand. “It’s nice to see you again, Kennedy.”

  I take his outstretched hand and say, “Yes, it sure is Corbin. It’s been a long time,” I say sarcastically with a flirty smile.

  The spark I just felt was nothing in comparison to what I feel now. His touch is like burning liquid shooting up my arm, so intense as warmth rises along my skin, my flesh breaking out in goose bumps. I notice as soon as our hands touch, his eyes go wide with shock. He feels it too. Jagger nudges me, looking between the two of us.

  “What’s going on?” he says.

  “Huh?” we both say in unison, looking over at him confused. Corbin looks at Jagger and says, “Nothing man, I just can’t believe how much your sister has changed. It’s been a long time, but you still look the same… just, different.”

  “Do you still live here in town?” I ask.

  “No, I am living in Oak Harbor now. What about you?”

  “Yes, I still live in the area. Not far from my parents. Are you married?” I blurt out. I flush as I feel the heat rising against my skin from my embarrassment. “Sorry, I tend to just blurt things out when I’m nervous.” I start to fidget.

  “I can see that. No, I’m not married,” he laughs out. “Haven’t met the one yet. I guess you could say.” He winks at me.

  The wedding planner comes over, announcing we are about to get started, so everyone should take his or her place. Justeen is in the wedding party as a bridesmaid. Looking around, I don’t spot her anywhere. Just then she comes running in, slamming the door yelling, “I’m here! I’m here!” The room falls silent. Stopping in her tracks, Justeen looks up noticing everyone’s attention is on her.

  “Shit! Sorry, I’m late,” she says.

  I shake my head at my sister. I swear she has the worst mouth. Here we are in a church, and she just cussed in front of everyone. A pissed looking wedding planner comes over to Justeen, escorting her along to the wedding party and says, “Your place is over here next to Paige’s maid of honor, Karly.” Pointing to a platinum blonde bimbo with enormous boobs, caramel skin, size zero waist, and a killer figure. I glance over to the groomsmen, and, of course, Corbin would be matched up with her.

  I catch him looking my way, so I pick up my camera and start taking pictures. Ashlynn is bouncing up and down the aisle while walking with my dad and Liam pretending to throw flowers. As she gets closer to Jagger, I notice they are both smiling at one another. Praying he didn’t put her up to something, I start snapping more photos.

  Dad walks Ashlynn over to her marker showing her where she is to stand with the other girls in Paige’s wedding party, explaining that is where she needs to stop tomorrow. Bouncing, moving, and swinging her basket all around she says, “I dot dis Popo.” Jagger then motions for Ashlynn to come over to him. She takes off running, dropping her basket, and runs straight into his arms. The wedding planner, Sarah, shakes her head and instructs the girls to practice their walks down the aisle. One by one, I watch in awe of these gorgeous women. Jealousy is the flavor of tonight.

  I stand in front of the altar, as the girls come down the aisle one by one taking their places. When I catch Paige grinning at my brother, I turn and get a couple of Jagger smiling back at her. Oh my, he’s really in love with her. It’s amazing to witness, yet very painful at the same time. I get a few more pictures of our family, get everything packed up and loaded, and then we are off to the rehearsal dinner.

  Chapter Nine

  Kennedy

  Troy shows up as soon as we are finished eating dinner, and he comes over and kisses my cheek like everything is peachy keen. Ha! Boy, this dude can put on a show. Troy’s unexpected appearance leaves me rattled, so I excuse myself and head for the restroom. As I turn the corner, Troy startles me by gripping my forearm and spinning me to face him. Hate radiating from his eyes.

  Through clenched teeth he demandingly asks, “Did you think I wouldn’t notice? You were eye-fucking the dude across the table from your brother, Kennedy. You cheating on me, whore?”

  “Don’t be ridiculous, Troy. I was looking at him listening to him talk,” I whisper.

  “Bullshit, Kennedy.”

  Just then, the atmosphere changes, goose bumps spread covering every part of my body. No! Not now! Not here! Glancing over my shoulder,
I spot Corbin, his fists tightly clenched, moving in our direction.

  “Is this guy bothering you?” he asks.

  I shake my head no, and plead with him using my eyes.

  “Mind your own goddamn business, asshole. This is my wife, and we are having a discussion, so piss off,” Troy says.

  “Then why, as her husband, do you have your hands forcefully placed on her? When did it become okay to talk that way to your wife?”

  Troy whips around to fully face him, and I have to move fast to get myself wedged between the two of them. Troy moves against me pushing me back to face Corbin.

  Placing my hands up I plead softly, “Tonight is my brother’s night, and I won’t have either of you ruining it. Please.”

  “You don’t deserve to be treated like this,” Corbin says sternly looking up into Troy’s eyes.

  “I need to use the restroom.”

  I look over to Corbin. He is most definitely the sexiest man I have ever laid eyes on. It is the sadness I see for a brief second that brings me out of my reverie. Giving Troy his death glare, he walks past us straight into the men’s restroom. Troy grabs me pulling me to him.

  “Who the fuck is that, Kennedy? Why does he look so familiar?” he asks.

  “His name is Corbin. He is one of Jagger’s groomsman and his oldest friend from high school and college.”

  “You want me to believe there is nothing going on with the way you two were staring at each other? You look like you wanted to rip each other’s clothes off.”

  I jump when his grip fastens tighter around my arm, and I look him square in the eyes and I say in response, “Whatever you think you saw, you are wrong, Troy! I’m sorry if I did anything to say otherwise. May I please use the restroom now?”

  “Yes, go on. I’ll be at the table waiting for you.”

  I bolt quickly, straight into the women’s bathroom. I go into the first stall and close the door and lock it. Falling against the door sliding down to the floor, I sob into my hands; I know I can’t take much more of his abuse.

  Why did he even interfere? Does he have a death wish? How Troy didn’t lose his cool from Corbin’s harsh words, I don’t know. Maybe, it is his size and muscular build that are intimidating to him. Hell, he intimidates me with his height and muscular build alone.

  Troy was getting worse, and the feelings he causes that numb me are never going to change. I don’t love him anymore, and if my parents are disappointed, I will just have to live with that. I am done walking around on eggshells, waiting for the rug to be pulled out from underneath me. The door creeks, and I get up quickly and listen.

  “Kennedy?”

  Unbelievable! He is relentless.

  “What do you want, Corbin?” I harshly say in question.

  “What‘s with the asshole? You know what he was doing, wasn’t right. I came in here to make sure you were okay.”

  Opening the door, I step out on shaky legs. Wiping the tears away, I walk over to the sink and look up into my reflection. I look hideous; red blotches are covering my entire face. I try smoothing out the front of my dress, and I wash my hands and turn to face him and say, “I’m sorry, Corbin. I’ll be fine. Why did you have to get involved?”

  I’m still shaking as I fidget with my hands while looking down to the ground.

  “It doesn’t look like you’re okay. Look, I’m sorry I interfered. I couldn’t sit back and watch him treat you that way. I know your brother wouldn’t like it either.”

  I fall to my knees as the shaking starts back up. Tears cascade down my cheeks. Reaching down, he lifts me up pulling me into his strong chest.

  “I didn’t mean to upset you. I won’t say anything to your brother, if you don’t want me to.”

  “Please don’t. It would cause more problems I don’t need right now, Corbin.”

  With his arms wrapped around me, I lay my head against his chest. He runs his hand along the length of my hair, while I stand here in his embrace. Pushing away from him, I realize what I’ve done.

  “You need to leave. I’m not walking out of this bathroom with you. That would be a death sentence if Troy caught us leaving together or you leaving this bathroom.”

  Turning, he punches the wall to our right. I watch in shock as the plaster falls away to the floor.

  “Fuck!” he yells

  I’m shaken from the blow to the wall as I stare in disbelief. Violence is always how men in my life deal with things.

  He turns, looking at me over his shoulder with regret in his eyes.

  “I’m sorry!” he says. He pulls open the door and walks out.

  Walking over to the sink, I look at my reflection, and I no longer recognize the girl looking back. I fix up my face the best I can, step outside the restroom door, and walk straight for my mom.

  My mom looks up at me warily. I plaster the best fake smile I can muster; trying to convince her everything is fine.

  “Mom, would you mind taking Ashlynn home with you and Dad tonight?”

  “Of course, dear. Is everything ok?”

  “Yeah, Mom, everything’s fine. I’m just a little under the weather is all,” I sigh.

  “Go spend some time with Troy, honey.”

  I cringe at her statement. I head over in Jagger’s direction, since he is holding Ashlynn on his lap.

  “We are going to head out. I’m not feeling very well, I’m sorry about this.”

  “It’s okay Ked. I hope you feel better. You don’t look so good.”

  Getting up he pulls me into a hug. Gosh, I want to tell him what’s going on.

  Save me, Jagger please.

  “Thanks Jagger, that’s basically a nice way of saying I look like shit,” I whisper.

  Turning, I address Ashlynn, “You’re going home with Momo and Popo tonight, okay, baby?”

  “Yay!” she yells.

  “Shh, baby, not so loud,” I laugh in response. “You be a good girl, okay?”

  “Yes, Mommy.”

  “I love you, Ashlynn.”

  “Wove you too, Mommy.”

  Taking Ashlynn into my arms, I nestle her into my neck, hugging her to me.

  Dad comes up behind me. “Hope you feel better, my beautiful girl.” He embraces me, hugging me gently to him.

  “Thanks, Dad. I love you.”

  “I love you too, sweetheart. See you bright and early tomorrow.”

  Walking back over to Troy, I notice the harsh looks being exchanged between him and Corbin. Troy smiles up at me. I place my hand in his and say, “I’m ready. Let’s go.”

  Sitting in my car, I glance in the rear view mirror as the door to the restaurant flies open. A red-faced Corbin comes barreling out, hands balled next to his sides. He reaches for his tie pulling it loose; tugging so hard with so much force. I can’t believe my eyes as the tie shreds from his touch. He stands there watching after me with such rage. I can’t get the image of his balled hands out of my mind. Bulging veins pop out as his hands turn white from the tension. I’m frozen; staring after him as I realize Troy could be watching us.

  Starting my car, I begin to pull out of the parking space and glance up. Corbin’s still there but instead of standing there like before, he’s pacing like a caged animal. Why does he seem to care so much? I don’t get him. I continue to watch as his reflection disappears in the distance.

  I get out of my car and head up to the front door. Placing my camera gear, purse, and keys next to the front door, I start for the stairs as Troy catches me by my arm, forcing me to the sofa. He slides his hands along my arms down to my waist and digs his fingers roughly into my hips.

  “Bend over the couch,” he sternly commands against my ear, making me shiver with fear.

  “Troy! Not tonight. I’m exhausted.”

  “I don’t give a shit if you’re tired. I’m going to punish you for making a fucking fool of me tonight. Everyone saw how you were lusting over that asshole.”

  “You’re hurting me.”

  “Oh, I’m going to be fucking
hurting you alright. I’m going to fuck this cunt until you can barely walk tomorrow, making sure with every step, you remember whose pussy and ass this is.”

  Oh my God! He wasn’t serious. Glancing over my shoulder I came face to face with an expression I had yet to witness. Cringing I start to shake with fear, not knowing what was about to happen. I just know if I fight it, it will only make it worse for me.

  “Now bend the fuck over.”

  I bend myself over the back of the couch. He runs his hand up along my thigh raising my dress gripping my ass hard. With the other he rests his arm forcefully against my lower back. Grabbing my thong he pulls so hard that it splits apart.

  “You wish this was him right now touching you don’t you?”

  “No, Troy! Please stop!”

  “Shut up! Shut the fuck up. Do as I say because this time I’m taking what’s mine,” he yells.

  Pushing apart my legs with his, he slams his fingers forcefully inside my flesh. I gasp in pain at the invasion.

  “See even now you don’t want me. You can’t even get wet for me at all anymore. Don’t move. ” I feel him move over me and then I hear the familiar click of the cap.

  Ripping his fingers out, he pushes off my body. Tears start to fall down my face and tremors start to jerk, keeping my eyes closed in hopes this will end quickly. My anxiety is taking over as my heart speeds up at an uneven pace. I can do this. No, you can’t. What are you fucking stupid? I’m struggling with myself with what’s about to happen and my unwillingness to fight back. The next thing I know, Troy is slamming his fingers back inside me but this time his fingers are coated in lube. He slips out and starts rubbing around the rim of my ass.

  “Oh no, Troy. Please, don’t do this.”

  “Quiet!” He smacks me upside the head. “Shut the fuck up or I’m going to shut you up.”

  Slipping his finger inside my clenched cheeks, he pumps in and out. The feeling is new and foreign. No one has ever touched me there before, and I don’t welcome this intrusion.