Chasing After Destiny

by Emma Easter

  Her eyes grew wide with astonishment when he gathered her in a tight hug again. He pulled back and smiled at her, the warmth and love in his eyes taking her breath away. “Thank God you are okay, Sofia,” he said. “I don’t know what I would have done if you weren’t.”

  Chapter 20

  Jude’s heart pounded as he held Sofia in his arms. His emotions raged between despair, happiness, and uncertainty. He held her tighter, kissed the top of her head, and then held his breath, hoping she would not pull away. When she didn’t, he sighed with relief.

  She rested her head on his chest, and he could feel her tears wetting his T-shirt. He finally held her slightly away from him and looked into her eyes. “You’re crying Sofia,” he said. He wiped her tears away with his thumb and studied her face. He touched her hair and put his hand on her cheek. Waves of relief flooded him. He had been so afraid that she had hurt herself. Seeing her now, alive and well, he felt as though he had just been released from a dungeon. He longed to kiss her, but knew he couldn’t. She had told him clearly that she was getting back with her ex and was going to marry him.

  Once again hopelessness flooded him, but he immediately pushed the negative feelings away to concentrate on her. Relief filled him again at the fact that she was okay. He said softly. “I’m glad you’re fine, Sofia. But why did you turn off your phone? Edith and I were so worried about you.”

  “It’s a long story, Jude,” she said.

  His stomach flipped at the look in her eyes. She was looking at him as though he meant something to her, and he wondered why. If he did not know better, he would say she wanted to kiss him; to be with him. But she had told him in no uncertain terms that they did not have a future together. His heart hurt, and he wished she would stop looking at him the way she was. It only made the fact that he was leaving soon that much harder.

  He sighed sadly and took her hands. He had to leave the country. He doubted that he would ever be at peace knowing that she might try to hurt herself the way she already had. He searched her eyes and said, “Please, Sofia, please promise me that you will never try to hurt yourself again.”

  She gave him a sad smile. “It will never happen again,” she said. “I promise.”

  They stood holding hands and staring into each other’s eyes. His heart flooded with love for her, and he sighed as an overwhelming urge to kiss her washed over him. Hopelessness settled over him. Today would have been their wedding. They would have been married by now if everything had gone as he had thought they would. But now he had to leave her, probably forever. He felt like someone was slicing his heart open.

  She looked away from him and looked down at the floor but not before he saw an expression of shame creep into her face. He tilted her chin up so she would look at him again and then stepped back from her as the urge to kiss her increased. He turned to Edith and said, “Please watch over her. Don’t let her hurt herself again. I wish I could be here, but I’m already late for my flight.”

  Sofia cried out, “Flight? What flight?”

  He turned to her. Her eyes were filled with panic, and he frowned. “Ben found a way for me to move to Guinea temporarily since I can’t stay in this country any longer.”

  He blinked. She looked devastated, and he quickly said, “I will be fine, Sofia. At least I will be safe there until the war in my country stops.” He was somewhat relieved that she at least still cared about his well-being, but sad that she didn’t care enough to stay with him and marry him.

  Tears fell down her face, and he blinked. “Are you leaving America with your Keziah?” she asked in a voice laden with emotion.

  His frown deepened. “No, Sofia. Keziah and I are not together.” His heart beat wildly at the look of hope on her face.

  “You are not?”

  “No.” He gazed at her in confusion. Why did she look so relieved when she was now with George? She said nothing, and he searched her eyes, trying to find the truth in them. Finally, he said slowly, “I guess I’ll be going now. I wish you and George all the best. Please remember what I said about not hurting yourself, Sofia.”

  He wondered if George was the reason she had tried to harm herself again. And where was he now anyway? Jude looked at his wristwatch and let go of her hands. If he stayed another minute longer, he would not be able to leave today. And who knew if the flight Ben had booked for him was non-refundable. He could not afford to miss his flight unless Sofia…

  He blinked in surprise when she grabbed his hand. She gave him a piercing look and she said, “I’m not with George anymore, Jude. I broke up with him because he is a liar and a cheat.” Shame crept into her face again, and she looked down but only for a second. She looked up at him again. “But I also now realize that I wasn’t any better than him. I was so deep in sin that I didn’t even care that he was married, and I convinced myself that I loved him.” She had a glow in her eyes as she said, “But now I have Jesus; I have a love that surpasses everything I could ever imagine. And His love has helped me recognize true human love as well. I know I didn’t know what that meant at all until I met you.”

  He couldn’t breathe as he listened to her.

  “You truly love me, but I treated you badly, Jude. I know an apology will never make up for what I did to you, but I am truly sorry. I hope you can forgive me one day. I know you might not want to get back together with me, but...”

  He could not hold back any longer and swept her into his arms again, joy flooding his heart. He kissed her hair, her temple, her cheeks, and then her lips. He hugged her fiercely and then pulled away slightly.

  She looked up at him and said in a trembling voice, “I love you Jude, more than I have ever loved anyone before.”

  He swayed lightly on his feet, delirious with joy. Smoothing back her hair, he said, “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to hear you say that.” He kissed her again and again, and then sighed when someone touched his shoulder. Pulling back reluctantly from Sofia, he turned to Edith.

  “Guys, you can continue kissing later on,” she said with a goofy smile on her face. “Today is supposed to be your wedding day, remember.”

  How could he have forgotten. It was impossible. It had haunted him since the day Sofia had told him she would not marry him anymore. It was all he could think about since then.

  Sofia gasped loudly. “Edith, it is, isn’t it?” She smiled broadly at him. “We can still get married today, Jude, and then you won’t have to leave.” She suddenly looked uncertain. “That is if you still want to marry me.”

  He touched her cheek. “Of course I still want to marry you. I want nothing more than to be your husband, Sofia.” He glanced at the clock on the wall. “But the courthouse is probably closed by now.”

  “That’s true,” Edith said.

  Sofia looked disappointed, but Jude’s heart filled with hope. “We will get married tomorrow. I already got the marriage license in the mail. We can schedule a time to get married online.” He could not help grinning. “Once we get married, Sofia, we will be together forever.” He turned to Edith. “You will be our witness at our marriage, won’t you?”

  Edith nodded.

  He sat on the couch and lowered Sofia onto his lap. He put his arms around her waist and she leaned back against him. Edith sat next to them and they talked about the arrangements they had to make and what they might have to buy before their court wedding tomorrow. Edith asked Sofia if she had something suitable to wear, and she told Edith that she did.

  They continued to talk, but from time to time he tilted his head up to kiss Sofia. About half an hour into their conversation, Sofia leaned down to kiss him again, and then he could not stop kissing her until Edith snapped her fingers and cleared her throat.

  “Focus, guys!” Edith said, as Sofia smiled and brushed her nose against his. “We need to make sure you have everything you need before we go to the courthouse tomorrow.”

  He focused on what Edith was saying, but held Sofia tighter, his heart threatening to burst with happine
ss.

  About ten in the evening, Edith finally got up to leave. She stretched and yawned. “Okay, I am tired. I have to call it a night, but I will call you guys tomorrow morning.”

  Jude took Sofia’s face in his hands and kissed her lips. He gave a long sigh and said, “I guess it’s time for me to leave as well.”

  Sofia stood up from his lap, and he rose from the couch. Edith stared at him and Sofia with a surprised look on her face. “I thought you were going to stay here with her, Jude.”

  Jude turned to gaze at Sofia, his heart pounding with longing. “I would love to spend the night with you, Sofia, but I want to be respectful of you. I would like to wait until we get married tomorrow, and then we will be together forever.” He smiled. “But if you want me to stay here with you, I will.”

  His pulse quickened as he gazed at her and, then he looked around the tiny apartment. As far as he could see, there was no other room, which meant that she had no bedroom. He added, “I could sleep on the floor while you sleep on the couch.” He remembered again what Edith had told him about her suicide attempt and he became worried once more. “You know what, maybe I should stay.” He began to sit on the chair again, but Sofia shook her head.

  “No, Jude. If you’re worried about me, I will be fine. I told you that I had an encounter with God that changed my life.”

  He raised his brows and asked curiously, “What encounter?”

  She shrugged. “I’ll tell you all about it later, but just know that I will not try to hurt myself again. And you are right. It’s better we spend the night separately... to avoid any temptation. Once we are married tomorrow, we will have the rest of our lives to spend together.”

  He took her hand again and looked into her eyes. “I can’t wait for tomorrow when we are finally married, Sofia.”

  “Me too,” she said, smiling brightly.

  “You two are acting like lovesick teenagers who have been caught making out and have to be separated forever. You’re going to see each other tomorrow.” Edith waved her hand. “Come along, Jude, since you’re not going to spend the night here. You will see Sofia again in a couple of hours.”

  “Tomorrow morning?” Jude asked, hopefully.

  “No, in the afternoon,” Edith said. “You both have to be in the courthouse and inside the doors before five p.m. If you are late, the doors will be shut and you will be shut out.”

  Sofia raised her eyebrows and gave Edith a knowing smile.

  Edith grinned. “Don’t ask me how I know all this. I’ve been waiting for Flynn to propose for years now. That boy is completely clueless about my desire to settle down.” She sighed, opened the front door, and walked out.

  Jude kissed Sofia again and reluctantly let go of her hand. “Tomorrow, Sofia. We will be married tomorrow,” he said.

  She squealed. “I’m so happy, Jude. And thank you for forgiving me and taking me back.”

  “No, I should be the one thanking you.” Once again, he gazed longingly at her and then he moved to the door. “I should leave now or I never will.” He opened the door and walked out. Edith had already gone down the stairs, probably waiting for him by her car. For a short moment, he leaned his back against Sofia’s door. Waves of happiness went through him, and then he mellowed a little when he thought about Ben. Since he had missed his flight, he would have to refund Ben the full amount for the plane ticket if it was a non-refundable ticket. For now, he had very little money.

  He sighed. He would have to deal with that problem when the time came. He smiled, his heart filling with joy again. For now, he had a wedding to prepare for.

  He turned and stared at Sofia’s door again and then shook his head. Tomorrow, Jude. Wait until tomorrow. He hurried down the stairs before he would change his mind and go back into her apartment.

  Chapter 21

  Sofia yawned, stretched, and stood up from the couch. She had a crick in her neck, but she smiled widely as excitement and anticipation ran through her. Today, she would be marrying the man she loved. She felt like standing and dancing for joy. She glanced at the small clock on the wall. It was still only six a.m. She had not slept much at night, tossing and turning with excitement.

  She glanced at her phone on the table and immediately felt an overwhelming desire to read her Bible again. She picked up her phone and immediately went to the Bible app. She felt ecstatic. Today was the happiest day of her life because she had received Jesus into her heart and now she was going to marry Jude.

  She was unable to stop smiling as she continued reading her Bible from where she had stopped the day before. She read one chapter and then another. She told herself to stop so she could go and lay out the outfit she would wear to her wedding, but still she read another chapter. She had read four chapters before she finally closed the app. Her suitcase was leaning on the far end of the room near the kitchenette. She dragged it to the middle of the small living room and opened it.

  She began to search the suitcase for the outfit she wanted to wear for her wedding. She finally found it and laid it on the couch. It was an expensive white pantsuit with wide lapels and gold buttons. She had never worn it, but the day she’d bought it, she had tried it in the store and it fit her perfectly.

  She searched through her suitcase again for the white and gold shoes that would go perfectly with it, and then something occurred to her and she groaned. She looked at the pantsuit again as she recalled clearly the day she had bought it. She’d been with George in Milan. She had seen it from afar through the display window of an upscale clothing store and she had immediately wanted it. George had told her she could have it, and they had entered the store. When she’d tried it on and it was the perfect fit, George had paid for it and she had been ecstatic. Now she just wanted to toss it into the trash.

  She put it back in her suitcase and search through her clothes, trying to look for something else to wear that would be equally appropriate. She brought out a cream wrap dress she had worn only once and then remembered once again that George had bought it for her for her birthday. She groaned and tossed it on the floor.

  She kept searching through her clothes for something to wear, but found nothing. She had way more clothes than she could wear, but all of them were either bought for her by George or with George’s money. She could not imagine wearing any of them for her marriage to Jude.

  Ten minutes later, she looked at the heap of clothes now on the sofa and frowned in frustration. They were all expensive and sophisticated. George had expensive taste and he liked to buy her expensive things. She thought about how different he was from Jude. In spite of all his perceived sophistication, he could not hold a candle to Jude. She would rather live a thousand years in a hovel with Jude than spend another day in luxury with George.

  She sighed again as she stared at all her clothes. What am I going to wear for my wedding?

  Her eyes fell on a simple knee-length dress. It was white and inexpensive. It was one of the few items she owned that had not been bought with George’s money. She’d had it as long as she could remember, and it was nowhere near new. She picked it up and inspected it. A few weeks ago, she would never have imagined wearing something like this to an occasion so important, but today, she knew it was exactly the right thing to wear. She had bought it with her own money. She would feel comfortable wearing it for her wedding. Most of all, Jude would love her in it. Unlike George, who always liked her to be decked out in expensive clothing, Jude would not mind what she wore. He loved her for her and not just because of the way she looked.

  Her heart flooded with joy again, and she stood up and danced around her small apartment. “Lord, thank you for Jude.” A thought occurred to her — that Jude did not yet share the faith she now had, but she pressed the thought away. Until yesterday, she had avoided God; even resented him, but now she loved him with all her heart and it was because of her relationship with Lily; because Lily had not given up on her. Jude had told her he’d once shared the faith of his pastor dad. She would stick with hi
m and love him until he came back to Christ. And she was certain it would not be long before he did.

  She chose a simple pair of black shoes that she had also bought with her own money and then she looked around her apartment. Jude would move in here with her after their wedding. There was no bed here and just a single couch. They would have to sleep on the floor until they could buy a mattress at least. Rather than feel gloomy about that, she smiled gleefully, amused by the idea of them having to sleep on the floor because there was no bed.

  She stooped down to look for earrings that would go with her outfit and then looked up when her phone rang. She grabbed it from the coffee table and looked at it. “Lily!” she smiled, and immediately answered the call.

  “Hey, Sofia,” Lily said, sounding breathless.

  “Lily, hi!” Sofia said, surprised that Lily had called as they had only spoken yesterday.

  “I am in Tucson,” Lily said. “Taylor and I arrived yesterday.”

  “What?” Sofia shook her head. “How come?”

  “I told you we arrived not long ago in Fallow Creek. After our call yesterday, I was really worried about you, and I convinced Taylor to come with me to Tucson since we were in Arizona. Thank God he agreed to come with me immediately. We are at the apartment he bought for me. Text me your new address, so I can come see you.”

  “I can come and get you, Lily,” Sofia said, still surprised that her friend was in Tucson, but extremely excited to see Lily after so long.

  “No, I’ll come to you,” Lily said. “Just send the address to me.”

  Lily ended the call, and Sofia stared at her phone and then chuckled. She immediately sent Lily the address of her apartment via text and then quickly gathered her clothes and put them back in her suitcase. Lily was a neat freak and she was sure to complain if the apartment wasn’t tidy. Sofia looked around the empty apartment and smiled in self-mockery. It wasn’t like there was enough in this apartment for it to be cluttered. It was virtually empty and it didn’t take much to make it neat again.